Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Crazy Stupid Blog

Have you ever suspected that everything you've been told by the LAMEstream media was a lie? That forces far, far beyond your conception were pulling the strings of the world to nefarious ends? Have you ever suspected that Morgan actually is Nelson Mandela? That conservative talker Laura Ingraham, Tea Party Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and Caroline Kennedy are all the same person? That the notorious Haditha Massacre was actually a "false flag" operation conducted in part by Vin Diesel and "Jackass" star Steve-O? Well, an insane man somewhere in Texas wants to tell you that you're right...


Part of the beautiful madness of The Internet is that the things otherwise-harmless folks none the less afflicted with with severe mental illnesses might have in previous years kept locked in their own heads or scrawled on the basement walls now get made into searchable websites. Digging around for gems in that vein is a perverse hobby of mine, and today I found the rare one worth sharing... and yes, I looked into it - apparently this is NOT a joke.

Wellaware1.com  is the website of an apparently-prolific conspiracy theorist alternately known as Ed Chiarini or "DallasGoldBug;" who appears to be A.) a conspiracist of the "New World Order" stripe (I'm not seeing any David Icke/"Reptiloid" stuff here) and B.) afflicted with some sort of disorder (OCD?) that leads him to fixate on human facial anatomy. His topic of choice: "They" (whoever "they" are) control the world so extensively that most powerful politicians and/or public figures, plus the known-players in various tragedies like 9-11 or Newtown (which he believes to be staged-events used to manipulate public opinions) are actually actors; a common enough spew from the "WAKE UP MAN!!!" set... but this fellow adds an extra wrinkle: They aren't just actors, they're really - really - famous actors! I assume his justification is a "hiding in plain sight" kind of thing. (He traces a surprising amount of this back to the British Royal Family, which makes it even more surprising he does go "full Reptoid.")

The site itself (which is the quintessential paranoid-delusional mix of exhaustively-compiled yet utterly disorganized) is quite the rabbit hole, though most of it is just links to JPG posters of him "proving" that various politicians look sort-of like various other famous people. I've stuck one off to the side here, but some  noteworthy highlights include:

Former New York Gov. David Patterson and Moammar Ghaddafi? SAME PERSON!

Jay Rockerfeller is actually CHEVY CHASE!

Jovan Belcher? WILL SMITH.

ONE mysterious woman is Michelle Bachmann, Laura Ingraham AND Caroline Kennedy.

Robert Blake was also POPE BENEDICT.

No direct link for this one, but he makes an especially tasteless leap alleging that Holly Robinson Bush - George W. Bush's sister who died in infancy from leukemia - is in fact alive and walking among us as... HILLARY CLINTON.

Also un-linkable: Ron Paul is SIR IAN MCKELLAN.

Not only was Gabby Giffords NOT actually shot in the head, she's really just TINA FEY... who is in turn really just Jennifer Greenberg Sexton - a member of a wealthy family he is deeply obsessed with.

Jim Jones is hiding in plain sight as the grandfather from "PAWN STARS."

Sen. Joseph Lieberman is the dad from "ALF."

And, of course, Steve-O and Vin Diesel participated in faking The Haditha Massacre.

All kidding aside, this is all actually kind of sad - this guy is clearly unwell (though my sympathies are blunted considerably by the fact that he's actively slandering dozens upon dozens of people here - many of whom are deceased and cannot defend themselves) and is in serious need of psychiatric help. But the site, as an artifact, is kind of an amazing relic - especially if you read a lot of more "mainstream" political-conpiracy stuff and can thus see how amusingly close some of this comes to the standard-issue Bilderberg/Rothchild/Rockerfeller drivel clogging up certain Tea Party (and Anon/Occupy) fringe blogs before he gets to his "big revelation."

New Face, Old Name: STARLET

There's a new kid in town, and she comes with a distinguished pedigree. Her mother is Mariel, who starred in Manhattan with Woody Allen. Her aunt was Margaux, a model and actress. And her great-grandfather was Ernest, known to have scribbled a noteworthy novel or two. This latest Hemingway goes by the name of Dree, until now a model herself but making an impressive acting debut in Starlet (2012), an unusual, carefully observed indie drama that snuck in and out of theaters before many people (myself included) could notice it.

Resembling a lanky cross between her mom and Bridget Fonda, Hemingway plays Jane, an apparently aimless beauty existing on the fringes of L.A.'s San Fernando Valley with her small dog and a pair of sketchy pothead roommates. After acquiring an old thermos at a yard sale, Jane finds herself compelled to learn more about its former owner, an ornery 85-year-old widower named Sadie�played with prickly impatience by Besedka Johnson (in her only film role before passing away earlier this year).

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"Muppets: Most Wanted"

Oh thank heaven...

Big Picture: "Brainiacs - The Once & Future Nerds"

NERDS!!!

Monday, 5 August 2013

COMING ATTRACTIONS: ELYSIUM

I may be on break from Aleteia for a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still watch a movie or two. I’ve managed to get a peek at Elysium and later on this week I’ll let everyone know what I thought right here on the ol’ home blog.

Yeah, it’s a little above our usual budget around here, but the subject matter fits in and it’s Neill Blomkamp’s follow-up to District 9, so why not?

Friday, 2 August 2013

Escape to The Movies: "2 Guns"

Whatever.

Intermission: "The Future (Maybe)"


And Once Again... Bond Is Back

License to smoke--and look suave doing it
James Bond has returned to Netflix Instant in August. How long he'll remain is anyone's guess. [Not very long, it turned out.] The good news is, unlike the last time the erstwhile spy reappeared, now pretty much all the pre-Daniel Craig films are available. That includes the two dark horse entries, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1968), and Connery's "unofficial" 1983 return, Never Say Never Again. The latter I remember liking quite a bit--save for the crucial absence of Monty Norman's iconic Bond theme�and I still think Klaus Maria Brandauer's Largo was the most nuanced and complex Bond villain until Javier Bardem in Skyfall.

Herewith, an updated repost of an April look at select Bond titles, including two all-new entries. I may add more as I rewatch them�assuming they don't disappear again at the end of the month!

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