THINGS TO COME: GODZILLA

If you read this blog, then I’m sure you’re already aware of the upcoming Godzilla movie and have already seen this trailer…

Yeah, I’m a little giddy over it ( he says as he glances at the 6 inch tall Godzilla action figure sitting on his desk). If only May wasn’t so far away. Fortunately, thanks to the magic of marketing, we don’t have to wait until then to get a bit of new Godzilla action…

If Madison Avenue keeps that up, I may have to stop fast forwarding through commercials from now on.

I’m sure I’ll be reviewing the new Godzilla for Aleteia, but if for some reason I don’t, you can rest assured I will do so here. Until then, if you’re curious as to what I thought about the original Godzilla (Gojira), you can check out this old post. Hey, you can never get too much Godzilla.

CW's "FLASH" Looks Like The Flash And Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

It's been so long since we've seen a visual or story-element "reveal" for a Warner Bros-backed DC Comics adaptation that was depressing, awful or just too headscratching to really contemplate that this headshot from the "ARROW" spinoff actually has me taken aback quite a bit:

I mean... if I wanted to I guess I could speculate as to why it's just the headpiece - does the rest of it look like crap? Will they not do the chest-insignia? - but for now... huh. Not bad. If WB was keeping some kind of functional connectivity between these TV projects and the movies I'd want to speculate about whether this is an indicator for the next bat-suit, but they aren't so for now... hey, cool. They got his head right.

39th César Awards Winners

Even if I promise to NOT get upset, I am very upset. So will not comment today. Most of you know how much I dislike French comedies, so no surprise if I say that top winner is okay but not much else.

Winners are in *BLUE. If you wish to read winners at official site go here.

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1/31/14
A few minutes ago at Fouqet's restaurant on Champs Elysees (ahh!), the French Academy announced the nominations for this year edition and fear no more, Abdellatif Kechiche master opus has many (8) nominations along with some excellent movies that were released in France during 2013 and yes, 2013 was another extraordinary year for French Cinema.

When we consider all nominations there are 47 that come from Cannes films and most were honored at the festival with award(s). That's another reason why these nominations show incredible high cinema-quality. Nevertheless La Vie d'Adèle is not the film with more nominations (8) but is the film where most nods come from "main" categories; Cannes honored and box office success, Me, Myself and Mum leads the tight pack with 10 nods, and L'inconnu du Lac also got 8 nods as La Vie d'Adèle. These three films are the top contenders. Still remember that more nominations doesn't necessarily mean more awards, at least in this award as just have to check last year where the most nominated film got no awards at all.

Perhaps the major snubs for me are the few nominations for Jeune & Jolie and Grand Central plus some surprises like Jimmy P nominated for Best Film, but most complex -at least for me because who are nominated- are categories like actress in a lead role, female newcomer, and actor in a lead role as there are some excellent performances being honored. Still have my favorites and -of course- hope Léa Seydoux gets the honor, as well as Adèle Exarchopoulos and Mads Mikkelsen.

Can't help but to share that most social media (and now general news!) is talking about one peculiar issue that obviously is NOT related to cinema, Julie Gayet nomination! Well, is great to have a good laugh so early in my morning.

Awards ceremony will be on February 28 at Châtelet, with François Cluzet acting as President and my favorite Cécile de France as Maîtresse de Cérémonie. Ceremony is stream live by Canal + and as every year will be and odyssey to find a stream available worldwide, sigh.

These are the nominations for the twenty-two (22) categories.

Best Film
9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech) by Albert Duponel
*Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum) by Guillaume Gallienne
L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake) by Alain Guiraudie
Jimmy P. (Psychothérapie d'un Indien des Plaines) (Jimmy P.) by Arnaud Desplechin
Le Passé (The Past) by Asghar Farhadi
La Vénus à la Foururre (Venus in Fur) by Roman Polanski
La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color) by Abdellatif Kechiche

Best First Film
La Bataille de Solférino (Age of Panic) by Justine Triet
La Cage dorée (The Gilded Cage) by Ruben Alves
En solitaire (Turning Tide) by Christophe Offenstein
La fille du 14 juillet (The Rendez-Vous of Déjà-Vu) by Antonin Peretjatko
*Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum) by Guillaume Gallienne

Best Animated Film
Aya de Yopougon (Aya of Yop City) by Marguerite Abouet and Clément Oubrerie
*Loulou l'Incroyable Secret by Eric Omond
Ma maman est en Amérique, elle a rencontré Buffalo Bill (My Mummy is in America and She Met Buffalo Bill) by Marc Boreal and Thibaut Chatel

Best Foreign Film
*The Broken Circle Breakdown by Felix Van Groeningen
Blancanieves by Pablo Berger
Blue Jasmine by Woody Allen
Dead Man Talking by Patrick Ridremont
Django Unchained by Quentin Tarantino
La Grande Bellezza by Paolo Sorrentino
Gravity by Alfonso Cuarón

Best Director
Albert Dupontel for 9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech)
Guillaume Gallienne for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
Alain Guiraudie for L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake)
Arnaud Desplechin for Jimmy P. (Psychothérapie d'un Indien des Plaines) (Jimmy P.)
Asghar Farhadi for Le Passé (The Past)
*Roman Polanski for La Vénus à la Foururre (Venus in Fur)
Abdellatif Kechiche for La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)

Best Actress
Fanny Ardant in Les Beaux Jours (Bright Days Ahead)
Bérénice Béjo in Le Passé (The Past)
Catherine Deneuve in Elle s'En Va (On My Way)
Sara Forestier in Suzanne
*Sandrine Kiberlain in 9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech)
Emmanuelle Seigner in La Vénus à la Foururre (Venus in Fur)
Léa Seydoux in La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)

Best Supporting Actress
Marisa Borini in Un Château en Italie
Françoise Fabian in Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
Julie Gayet in Quai d'Orsay
*Adèle Haenel in Suzanne
Géraldine Pailhas in Jeune & Jolie

Best Female Newcomer
Lou de Laâge in Jappeloup
Pauline Etienne in La Religieuse (The Nun)
*Adèle Exarchopoulos in La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)
Golshifteh Farahani in Syngué sabour - Pierre de patience (The Patience Stone)
Marine Vacth in Jeune & Jolie

Best Actor
Mathieu Amalric in La Vénus à la Foururre (Venus in Fur)
Michel Bouquet in Renoir
Albert Dupontel in 9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech)
Grégory Gadebois in Mon âme par toi guérie (One of a Kind)
*Guillaume Gallienne in Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
Fabrice Luchini in Alceste à bicyclette (Cycling with Moliere)
Mads Mikkelsen in Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)

Best Supporting Actor
*Niels Arestrup in Quai d'Orsay
Patrick Chesnais in Les Beaux Jours (Bright Days Ahead)
Patrick d'Assumçao in L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake)
François Damiens in Suzanne
Olivier Gourmet in Grand Central

Best Male Newcomer
Paul Bartel in Les Petits Princes
*Pierre Deladonchamps in L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake)
Paul Hamy in Suzanne
Vincent Macaigne in La fille du 14 juillet (The Rendez-Vous of Déjà-Vu)
Nemo Schiffman in Elle s'en va (On My Way)

Best Original Screenplay
Mariette Désert and Katell Quillévéré for Suzanne
*Albert Dupontel for 9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech)
Asghar Farhadi for Le Passé (The Past)
Philippe Le Guay for Alceste à bicyclette (Cycling with Moliere)
Alain Guiraudie for L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake)

Best Adapted Screenplay
Antonin Baudry, Christophe Blain and Bertrand Tavernier for Quai d'Orsay
Arnaud Desplechin, Julie Peyr and Kent Jones for Jimmy P. (Psychothérapie d'un Indien des Plaines) (Jimmy P.)
*Guillaume Gallienne for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
David Ives and Roman Polanski for La Vénus à la Fourrure (Venus in Fur)
Abdellatif Kechiche and Ghalya Lacroix for La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)

Best Cinematography
*Thomas Harmeier for L'extravagant voyage du jeune et prodigieux T.S. Spivet (The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet)
Claire Mathon for L'inconnu du Lac (Stranger by the Lake)
Jeanne Lapoirie for Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)
Mark Ping Bing Lee for Renoir
Sofian El Fani for La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)

Best Editing
*Valèrie Deseine for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
Jean-Christophe Hym for L'Inconnu du lac (Stranger by the Lake)
Christophe Pinel for 9 mois ferme (9 Month Strech)
Camille Toubkis, Albertine Lastera and Jean-Marie Lengellè for La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)
Juliette Welfling for Le Passé (The Past)

Best Original Soundtrack
Jorge Arriagada for Alceste à bicyclette (Cycling with Moliere)
Loïk Dury and Christophe "Disco" Minck for Casse-tête chinois (Chinese Puzzle)
Etienne Charry for L'Ecume des Jours (Mood Indigo)
*Martin Wheeler for Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)
Alexandre Desplat for La Vénus à la Fourrure (Venus in Fur)

Best Sound
Marc-Antoine Beldent, Loïc Prian, Olivier Dô Hùu for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
Philippe Grivel and Nathalie Vidal for L'inconnu du lac (Stranger by the Lake)
*Jean-Pierre Duret, Jean Mallet and Mélissa Petitjean for Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)
Lucien Balibar, Nadine Muse and Cyril Holtz for La Vénus à la fourrure (Venus in Fur)
Jérôme Chenevoy, Fabien Pochet and Jean-Paul Hurier for La Vie d'Adèle - Chapitres 1 et 2 (Blue is the Warmest Color)

Best Costumes
Olivier Bériot for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
*Pascaline Chavanne for Renoir
Anina Diener for Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)
Florence Fointaine for L'Ecume des Jours (Mood Indigo)
Florence Fontaine for L'extravagant voyage du jeune et prodigieux T.S. Spivet (The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet)

Best Set Design
Yan Arlaud for Michael Kohlhaas (Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhaas)
Benoit Barough for Renoir
Aline Bonetto for L'extravagant voyage du jeune et prodigieux T.S. Spivet (The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet)
Sylvie Olivé for Les Garçons et Guillaume, à table! (Me, Myself and Mum)
*Stéphane Rozenbaum for L'Ecume des Jours (Mood Indigo)

Best Documentary
Comment j'ai détesté les maths by Olivier Peyon
Le dernier des injustes (The Last of the Unjust) by Claude Lanzmann
Il était une forêt by Luc Jacquet
La maison de la radio by Nicolas Philibert
*Sur le chemin de l'école by Pascal Plisson

Best Short Film
*Avant que de tout perdre (Just Before Losing Everything) by Xavier Legrand, 29'
Bambi by Sebastien Lifshitz, 58' (this is not a short film! - is a documentary)
La fugue by Jean-Bernard Marlin, 23'
Les Lézards by Vincent Mariette, 14'
Marseille la nuit by Marien Monge, 40'

Best Animated Short Film
Lettres des Femmes by Augusto Zanovello
*Mademoiselle Kiki et les Montparnos (Kiki of Montparnasse) by Amélie Harrault

If you wish to check nominations at official site go here but have to downlowad a pdf file.

Most surprising nomination is for Bambi by Sebastien Lifshitz not because is not good, as a matter of fact is an excellent must be seen documentary (!), but because is nominated as a short film (!) with 58 minutes! Go figure, hope they fix this.

There are a few films that I have not seen, some because decided not to see and now maybe will, others because escaped my radar and one/two that I'm dying to see and haven't seen them yet. Still the "important" (lol) ones have seen them and yes, they're fantastic films! Most interesting, from those that escaped my radar, is the second film by Katell Quillévéré (remember Un Poison Violent?) Suzanne that not only has a very interesting story but also Adèle Haenel performs.

I suppose that this will be the only -non LGBT- major award where a lesbian interest movie will be competing with a gay interest movie for the top award! Doubt we will soon see this milestone again and -obviously- believe that the lesbian interest movie is highly superior to the gay interest film and to the others in the race for best film.

Escape to The Movies: "SON OF GOD"

Holy crap.

ALSO: Oscar handicapping.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Son of God

39th César Awards Red Carpet

Another - Better

i>TELE - i>TELE

Live Tapis rouge et coulisses des Cesar 2014 - Live Tapis rouge et coulisses des Cesar 2014

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

For Aleteia this week, I took the family to see Son of God, the theatrical reworking of scenes from The History Channel’s hit miniseries The Bible. The film’s a mixed bag. While it’s not an artistic triumph like Passion of The Christ nor anywhere near as fun as something like The Ten Commandments, it’s at least respectful of the source material. Plus, as I discuss in my review, it does have a couple of scenes that are surprisingly Catholic for a movie made by protestants.

Still, if you don’t feel like paying box office prices to see some recycled TV footage, The Happy Catholic has a number of suggestions for movies to rent or stream for Lent. Jordan J. Ballor from the Acton Institute, on the other hand, has only one old movie on his mind, but it’s a classic.

Not all classics are created equal, though. That’s why Catholic Skywalker has compiled a list of otherwise great movies he feels are ruined by their third acts. I have to say I agree with him on Exorcist III, but if you know anything at all about that film, you know William Peter Blatty was forced by the studio to film the last 15 or 20 minutes that way. So yeah, the director thought the final act ruined the film as well.

But enough of all this talk about good movies. You don’t come to this blog for that kind of thing. So if you’re hankering for a bad movie fix, why not head over to Crisis Magazine where K. V. Turley takes a look at I, Frankenstein. Along with the expected awfulness, Mr. Turley believes he may just have stumbled upon the Frankenstein monster made for our times.

And finally, I suppose there’s no way to get through this weekend without mentioning the Academy Awards. While I reviewed 12 Years A Slave a while back, Matthew Becklo over at Aleteia has a piece up explaining why the film should, and probably will, earn the Oscar for Best Picture.

See you next time.

"PERSECUTED" Trailer Isn't; But Probably Deserves To Be...

You'll hear from me in detail on "SON OF GOD" later today, but until then here's the new trailer for "PERSECUTED" - the Christianity versus (Modern) America B-movie starring a very, very tired-looking James Remar as a preacher that The Gub'mint is trying to frame and/or kill because he's resisting a bill that would require religious broadcasters to present all faith's points of view instead of their own singular but which is actually being pushed as a backdoor method of crushing Team Jesus in particular. The point of reference is likely the old FCC Fairness Doctrine rules for editorial-journalism, the repeal of which under the Reagan Administration cleared the way for the right-wing talk radio explosion in the mid-80s:




I'll admit a peculiar "fetish" for this particular brand of fundie paranoia, which also gave us "THE LAST EAGLE SCOUT." The basic spectacle of one of the largest, longest-lived and most powerful groups/movements in the history of the world play-acting at being genuinely "persecuted" because more and more of the world is moving on from being governed by their arcane "moral" dictums (arcane moral dictums which, incidentally, have been responsible for more actual persecution throughout history than almost any other force on the planet since its inception) is strangely compelling in a "conversation with a toddler and/or crazy-person" kind of way.

PULP CATHOLICISM #057

February Expiration Watch: Spreading the Pain (2014)

Netflix offers up its inevitable end-of-month misery to movie lovers in the next couple of days, pulling the plug on a wide mix of titles that many of us would rather stay right there in our queues, thank you very much. Certainly there's consolation to be had from the coming return of a number of lamented losses (including several by Robert Altman), but it will be tough to say goodbye to the pulpy-but-fun Black Snake Moan (2007), the goofy antics of John Cleese in Clockwise (1986), the corny romance of An Officer and a Gentleman (1982), the shocking irreverence (and sad truths) of Bill Maher's Religulous (2008), and even the well-crafted do-goodism of Kevin Costner's undeniably entertaining Dances with Wolves (1990).

The pain is distributed evenly, at least: if you like classic Hollywood stars, then take a last look at Clara Bow in It (1927), Marilyn Monroe in There's No Business Like Show Business (1954), Shirley MacLaine in Woman Times Seven (1967), and, um, that giant blimp in Black Sunday (1977).

If you're into Pam Grier blaxpoitation flicks, then this month's expirations may especially hurt. Three of her better-known movies are on the chopping block: Coffy (1973), Friday Foster (1975), and Sheba, Baby (1975). Fortunately, she'll still maintain a respectable streaming presence, with her "cage" pictures and a number of more recent actioners and melodramas sticking around, including Quentin Tarantino's latter-day ode to her, Jackie Brown (1997).

Read more �

So Long, Harold

Harold Ramis (1944-2014)

Too often when a veteran performer or filmmaker dies, they've so outlived their cultural relevance it's only natural to find yourself callously wondering, "Wasn't he dead already?"

Not so with the recent loss of Harold Ramis (and Philip Seymour Hoffman before him). In Ramis' case, even though he hadn't directed a feature film since 2009's underrated Year One, he never seemed irrelevant. Granted, in boxoffice terms he didn't have a commercial hit since 2002's cash-grab Analyze That, but he continued working as a TV director (The Office) and actor through 2009�presumably when his illness began to get the better of him.

But over the decades Ramis had accrued so much good will from both audiences and the movie industry�as not only actor and director, but co-writer of some of the most well-loved comedies of the 1980s and '90s�it was impossible to think of him as anything but a very current, and very alive, contributor to pop culture.

Netflix Instant isn't streaming many of Ramis' films�no Caddyshack, no Stripes, no Groundhog Day or even Analyze This. But the three it does offer are topnotch entertainments, including Ghostbusters (1984), probably the biggest boxoffice hit of his career (as co-writer and actor); one of his least commercially successful but most artistically rewarding films, 2005's bitingly funny The Ice Harvest; and as co-star in the Diane Keaton 1987 romantic comedy, Baby Boom (which admittedly hasn't aged well). These three serve as fitting testimony to Harold Ramis' versatility and his warm, affable presence both behind and in front of the camera. Thanks, Harold, for sharing your humor and talent with all of us.

(A full review of The Ice Harvest can be found here.)

UPDATE: Since the publication of this post, Ghostbusters has expired while Analyze This and Analyze That are now streaming. This may or may not still be the case by the time you read this.

"GODZILLA" Has a Full Trailer, Still Not Much Godzilla

I am so nervous about this.



Godzilla should be easy. The basic appeal of Kaiju movies (disaster movies where the disaster itself gets to be a character with a "face," personality, personal narrative, etc) is so, well... basic it's maddening that so few (modern, Western) filmmakers try and so many of those who do keep fucking it up.

This is, to be clear, a really good scifi/disaster movie trailer. They're clearly anchoring the emotional center of the story to Bryan Cranston as an ordinary, utterly average human whose clearly being destroyed by having this unimaginably huge, horrible event falling down around him; which is the right way to go for this project but also a seriously smart move for Cranston, who really needs for his first huge post-"BREAKING BAD" stardom feature to highlight the range that he has beyond Walter White. I'm just sure I'm getting much in the way of a "genuine Godzilla vibe" out of this, which worries me because "genuine Godzilla" is such a broadly-defined thing to begin with.

I like the idea that this is a semi-sequel to the original (that's how all of Toho's reboots have worked so far: The first movie always happened, everything else is new) though I'm curious how they plan to make this "cover-up" angle work: This Godzilla seems to be the largest in size yet, and the ubiquity of cameras today makes the idea of "covering up" that whatever is going on is being caused by a giant dinosaur (climate-change denialist metaphor, I'm assuming?) could seriously strain credulity.

Above all else, I'm trying not to let how much I detested "MONSTERS" taint me on this. We'll see.

BIG PICTURE: "Who Are The 'Guardians of The Galaxy?'"

Who, indeed?

And hey, here's a "filler" column about a TV show with too much filler so far.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Who Are The Guardians of the Galaxy?

15th Les Étoiles d'Or du Cinéma Award Winners

As every year and just before the awards César ceremony (next Friday) the more than 400 specialized press journalists that belong to l’Académie des Étoiles d’Or du Cinéma Français announced their award winners and as everyone has been expecting Kechiche's master opus won the top awards.

Perhaps what is more interesting is that last year top award was given to Audiard's film instead of Haneke's which did not happen at the César, so does this means that Kechiche will not win next Friday? Well, I do not think so as his movie, La Vie d' Adèle, will surely collect honors at the upcoming César awards.

These are the winners that you can also check at the official site.

Best Film: La vie d’Adèle chapitres 1 & 2

Best Director: Abdellatif Kechiche for La vie d’Adèle chapitres 1 & 2
Best Debut Film: Les garçons et Guillaume, à table !, Guillaume Gallienne

Best Actress: Adèle Exarchopoulos in La vie d’Adèle chapitres 1 & 2
Best Actor: Guillaume Gallienne in Les garçons et Guillaume, à table !
Best Female Newcomer: Adèle Exarchopoulos in La vie d’Adèle chapitres 1 & 2
Best Male Newcomer: Vincent Macaigne in La Bataille de Solférino

Best Screenplay: Albert Dupontel and Laurent Turner for 9 mois ferme
Original Score Compositor: Alexandre Desplat

Best Documentary: La Maison de la Radio, Nicolas Philibert

Industry Awards
Production: Wild Bunch
Distributor: Wild Bunch Distribution

Indeed last year Audiard's film won top award and Michael Haneke won best director, but this year we can clearly see that Kechiche master opus won four awards which undoubtedly suggests that the Cannes Palm d'Or winner has really good chances to be highly honored next Friday. Let's hope so and also let's hope that we can see the live streaming, sigh.

"AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2" Trailer Number 4,732 Almsot Looks Like a Good Movie

Credit where it's due: For the most part this is a good trailer and an exceptionally good Spider-Man trailer. It's well-cut, the pacing is great, the music cues work, the effects and cinematography are a 100% improvement on the muddy, cheap-looking first installment and Andrew Garfield is wearing not just the best-looking live-action Spidey-suit ever but probably one of the top-five superhero costumes, period.* And yes, while it's no less criminal that Emma Stone is wasting prime years and substantial talent in this nonsense... she's the franchise MVP, no question...



...and then the "franchise-specific" stuff slides in (the awful-looking bad guys, the stupid conspiracy/mystery/genetic-destiny backstory, the clear indicators that we'll be getting more clumsy "worldbuilding" for future movies than actual plot) and back down to Earth we come. Sigh...

The inherent problem with this series is that Sony has decided to learn all the wrong lessons from "THE AVENGERS" specifically and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in general; i.e. assuming that the Big Secret to having a franchise that dominant is in the ingredients (in this case: a big labyrinth of continuity threads and gigantic "world on the line!!!" climactic setpieces) instead of in the cooking. Yes, the "universe" angle has the benefit of keeping fans buzzing and generating free-publicity speculation between films and lets something like "THE AVENGERS" to jump right into action when it needs to; but if the actual movies aren't good no amount of continuity-porn can make up for that.

Yeah, conceptually it's "interesting" (or interest-piquing, at least) that Norman Osborn has an underground laboratory full of component-parts for eventual Vultures, Doc Ocks, Rhinos, etc... but "I'm kind of curious to see where how that works out, structure-wise" can't erase the more important issues of this version of Peter Parker being a terrible character, or that the big over-arching Peter's Parents uber-plot that's supposed to tie this all together and make it worth caring about beyond fandom shout-outs is thus far even dumber and more ill-advised than it's seldom-revisited presence in the comics. By the same token: I find myself struggling to care about the potential for old questions to be answered and new mysteries revealed in "BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN" because the world suggested by "MAN OF STEEL" (to say nothing of the so-called "characters" residing in it) is so crushingly uninteresting.

By contrast: Yeah, I want to know what (heavily implied) big changes to the infrastructure of the MCU will come out of "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER," and I'll do the expected fanboy cartwheels if Quicksilver, Scarlett Witch, Von Strucker (likely) or Red Skull, Zola, M.O.D.O.K (less likely) show up; but A.) that's mainly because the MCU is an interesting place so far and those all sound like nifty additions and B.) still a distant second to wanting to see how this all impacts Cap, Black Widow, Nick Fury etc. because they're interesting, well-developed characters I want to follow.

On the other hand, I like that Spidey is dressed like a fireman at one part. So there's that.

Harold Ramis, 1944 - 2014

Harold Ramis, the deceptively-quiet engine of the SCTV/SNL/NL wave that effectively overtook and defined American (and Canadian) comedy in the 80s and 90s, has died at 69.  "GHOSTBUSTERS," "ANIMAL HOUSE," "STRIPES," "SCTV," "CADDYSHACK," "MEATBALLS." Any one of those would be enough to make someone a legend - he was a key part of all of them.

CUTAWAYS: ULYSSES AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES

It looks like The Lego Movie will continue to dominate the box office this weekend, but if you’ve already seen that and are looking for something new, there’s always Pompeii which I reviewed for Aleteia this week. It’s a pretty average sword and sandal flick, probably not something you’ll want to pay full price to see. Maybe part of the movie’s problem (beyond the horrible script, I mean) is that we’ve seen this kind of total destruction played out again and again on screens over the past few years. Hollywood needs to figure out audiences want a little more than just seeing another CGI city get wrecked.

What they really needed to do was take a look at all those old peplum flicks from Italy to see how to do this kind of thing the right way. Most all of those movies had awful scripts too, but they made up for it by managing to give you something memorable each time around. Mole men, vampires, rubber monsters… heck, even Zorro inexplicably showed up in one film. You could always count on a peplum to give you something weird. Take this moment from Ulysses Against the Son of Hercules, for example. I can’t think of anything from Pompeii that sticks in my mind the way this one of a kind cinematic moment does…

For me, it’s the expressions on the faces of the leads that really make the scene. It almost looks like nobody told the two leads what was going to happen before they started filming, so when the chicken people show up, they don’t have a clue as to what they’re supposed to do. It also kind of reminds me of the expressions a lot of us here in the States get whenever we see liturgical dancing.

Ah, good ole liturgical dancing. We make fun of it a lot around these parts because, well, it’s liturgical dancing. But aside from the mostly well intentioned, but undeniably cringe-inducing goofiness of the activity (your opinion may vary), there’s also the fact that the 1975 document published by the Vatican's Congregation for the Sacraments and Divine Worship entitled Dance in the Liturgy declared most, if not all, liturgical dancing to be inappropriate for masses in the West. The document states…

“Here dancing is tied with love, with diversion, with profaneness, with unbridling of the senses… For that reason it cannot be introduced into liturgical celebrations of any kind whatever: That would be to inject into the liturgy one of the most desacralized and desacralizing elements, and so it would be equivalent to creating an atmosphere of profaneness which would easily recall to those present and to the participants in the celebration worldly places and situations… Neither can acceptance be had of the proposal to introduce into the liturgy the so-called artistic ballet because there would be presentation here also of a spectacle at which [only] one would assist, while in the liturgy one of the norms from which one cannot prescind is that of participation [by all].”

Basically, because dancing in the West is typically a hey-look-at-me kind of personal expression rather than a communal act of worship by a congregation, the Church says it shouldn’t be allowed during the mass where the focus should be on God only. Now the same document does also acknowledge certain forms of “rhythmic swaying and dance movements on the part of the participants” among some peoples as entirely appropriate due to their religious cultural heritage, but the exceptions are generally relegated to those in Africa and Asia (i.e. the Ethiopian rite).

So, if you’ve just got to dance before the Lord, that’s fine, but instead of trying to shoehorn it into the mass, why not do it the way King David did, stripped down to his ceremonial underwear OUTSIDE the sanctuary. The Church is perfectly fine with that.

50th Cinema Audio Society Award Winners

Last night the group had their award ceremony that honored expected winners, Gravity and Frozen.

Winners are in *BLUE. To check winners in television categories go here.

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1/14/14
Today CAS announced the nominees for the current edition of these awards that recognize best sound mixing of 201.

Awards ceremony will be on February 22nd in the Crystal Ballroom of the historic Millennium Biltmore Hotel where Re-recording Mixer Andy Nelson will receive the CAS Career Achievement Award. On the evening of the awards CAS website will be updated in real time as the winners are announced.

These are the nominations for Motion Picture

Live Action
Captain Phillips
*Gravity
Inside Llewyn Davis
Iron Man 3
Lone Survivor

Animated
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
*Frozen
Monsters University
Walking With Dinosaurs

To check the names of the nominees in each movie and the television categories go here.

16th Annual Costume Designers Guild Award Winners

Last night the group had their awards ceremony and winners are in *BLUE.

To check winners in all categories go official site later as winners are no yet at their site or read news here.

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1/8/14
Today the Costume Designers Guild announced the nominations that will honor 2013 films and the winners of the seven competitive categories will be revealed at a ceremony on Saturday, February 22 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Also director, writer and producer Judd Apatow and Costume Designer April Ferry will be recognized with honorary awards.

The Nominees for feature films three categories.

Excellence in Contemporary Film
*Suzy Benzinger for Blue Jasmine
Casey Storm for Her
Wendy Chuck for Philomena
Sarah Edwards for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Excellence in Period Film
*Patricia Norris for 12 Years a Slave
Michael Wilkinson for American Hustle
Kurt & Bart for Dallas Buyers Club
Catherine Martin for The Great Gatsby
Daniel Orlandi for Saving Mr. Banks

Excellence in Fantasy Film
Ann Maskrey, Richard Taylor and Bob Buck for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
*Trish Summerville for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Gary Jones and Michael Kutsche for Oz: The Great and Powerful

To learn nominees for Television and Commercial categories go here.

(Still) Not Unlikely

Two years ago I whipped up the fake poster on your right as a gag for late-night Twitter. Chuckles were had, then I and everyone else on Earth forgot about it.

Then today, a funny thing happened on The Internet: Deadline reported that someone at Warner Bros. had decided to actually go an make this movie: A 20 years later sequel to "SPACE JAM" - a movie adapted from a sneaker ad-campaign about Michael Jordan playing basketball with The Looney Tunes which, in an act of singular strangeness, actually tries to be a semi-dramatic "What If?" take on Jordan's return to the NBA following his shocking 1993 retirement to play minor-league baseball in reaction to the murder of his father (the film essentially posits that battling aliens alongside Bugs Bunny was the push Jordan needed to rekindle his lost passion for basketball) - with LeBron James (presumably) becoming the new human leader of The ToonStars.

And then Twitter. Went. APESHIT.
Well, LeBron's people have already denied it - so it's probably not real. But the sudden explosion of excitement on social media means it probably could be in the near future. It would not surprise me if Warner Bros. were looking to "reboot" the "SPACE JAM" branding (say, maybe a cartoon-basketball movie without a human guest star) as a way to turn the Looney Tunes mega-marketable again and floated this "leak" as a way to do test the waters. If so, consider that test a success - it seems pretty goddamn clear that if Warners was to release "SPACE JAM 2" in the near future, they'd have the attention of more starry-eyed 90s Kids than a Buzzfeed click-gallery of cats belonging to the rediscovered castmembers of "HEY DUDE!" reacting a Power Rangers reunion.

"SPACE JAM" is one of those movies that works as a cultural dividing-line between Gen-Xers and Millenials. In my own circles, it's really only ever spoken of as a relic of that moment where Jordan probably could've run for President and as the low-point symbol of how Warner Bros. had gutted and drained Bugs and company of their original personalities to become empty marketing vessels. But there's a younger audience for whom this was an unironic VHS touchstone - nothing makes me feel older than running into people who remember it as a good movie... except maybe when those same people are surprised to learn that "the baseball thing" actually happened.

To be honest, the only part of this I could actually not imagine really happening is LeBron being in it. Unlike MJ, he's largely failed to parlay his on the court success into the same kind of self-marketing machine. Jordan was, at the time, every bit as much of a cartoon-character (off the court) as the ToonStars were, which is why the movie worked. If they did do another one of these, I'd expect it to be just the cartoons - maybe rangle Jordan for a cameo, since he really will do just about anything.

Escape to The Movies: "POMPEII"

Blows.

On the higher-end, I interviewed writer Inkoo Kang about her controversial criticisms of Hayo Miyazaki's "THE WIND RISES."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Pompeii

2014 Oscar Not So-Late Predictions

Been distracted with the Winter Olympics but what I like the most is over so it is time to turn my attention back to the Oscars and do some predictions in a year that it is NOT easy to guess what Academy members will do as suspect will be very different from what I like.

Was reading the Mojo Box Office figures and can tell that the movie that benefited more from the nomination is none other than American Hustle (!) which is kind of surprising for me as movie has a very appealing cast, for teenagers, young adults and the not so-young. So go figure what the "nomination effect" really does as the movies that really need a push do not get a significant one.

One important thing pops in my mind, this year we have a different kind of Awards Season that could influence the Oscar race. All started with major film critics' groups that had "ties" for the first time since many years. Yes, this year I believe that Oscar could "surprise" us with ties and more than believing, I am hoping will happen as there are some categories were a tie will please many and will be completely understandable.

Have to spend a paragraph to remind you that Academy voters are mainly old, men, white, and living in Los Angeles. So if you are not like them, it is probable that the nominations and awards will not be the ones you will choose, so if you decide to watch the Oscars will NOT be because who wins what but to enjoy a "good" entertaining TV show. That is why producers go beyond their way trying to produce a show to people who do not care much for movies and/or winners but care to be entertained with "celebrities", jokes and some music. Still, there is an "endangered species", people like me (lol) that enjoy great cinema and "still" enjoys the Oscar show for entertainment but most of all, to find who wins what.

Since I'm sort of sarcastic better to go directly to my predictions.

Best Picture

From the nine movies in competition the ones that I favor with a positive review are 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, Philomena and the biggest positive surprise of the season: Nebraska. Did not enjoyed much American Hustle, Captain Phillips, Her and The Wolf of Wall Street. So it's no surprise if I still believe that the best from the bunch is 12 Years a Slave and IF any of the first three wins will be alright for me. IF any of the last four wins I will be extremely disappointed and yes, will be upset for a while (lol).

Will Win: 12 Years a Slave
Could Win: Gravity
Should Win: 12 Yeas a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club or Gravity.

Best Animated Feature Film

We all know that Frozen is going to win which is a great shame as truly do not understand what the movie has that is so good to be honored with an Oscar. I believe this award should go to a movie that has Great/Outstanding animation to tell a great story that appeals to the young and older. If that would be true then you have to discard The Croods, Despicable Me 2 and Frozen; plus The Wind Rises that's more for adults. Then you will only have one contender Ernest & Celestine.

Will Win: Frozen
Should Win: Ernest & Celestine

Foreign Language

Why Oscar does not have a tie? Especially for this category, a tie will be the most democratic solution as who could choose between fantastic The Hunt and outstanding The Great Beauty? Two very different movies, one appealing to our melancholy and the other to our moral emotions and precisely because what each movie appeals is why The Hunt is doom and The Great Beauty will win. Sigh. Melancholy touches older people, especially those who are familiar with Fellini -as most Academy members surely are- and Paolo Sorrentino's Fellini homage will prevail from a morally charged pedophile suggested story in The Hunt.

Will Win: The Great Beauty
Could Win: The Broken Circle Breakdown (if votes are split and a third rises)
Should Win: tie between The Great Beauty and The Hunt

Directing

Me and my own problems with directing. Sigh. Yes as many of you watch a movie because actors, I watch movies because directors and nowadays is becoming very difficult in American/English-speaking cinema as is not easy to understand what directors are doing in full visual effects movies. Last year Life of Pi helped me to understand some more but Gravity is still confusing for me as what I find really outstanding, unique, in the trend to fast evolution are the many inventions and creations (most tech specs) to make possible the tension in film plus the actors performance.

All of the above to say that we all know that Alfonso Cuarón will win the category and I will still be confused trying to find the reason why he won. Sigh. Yes, you know it by now, my choice is excellent Steve McQueen that since his first movie has shown incredible directing skills.

Will Win: Alfonso Cuarón
Should Win: Steve McQueen

Actress in a Leading Role

Nobody doubts that this is Cate Blanchett year and IF she doesn't get the Oscar I will be VERY disappointed with the oblique Academy members that mix professional and personal lives. Yes there are strong rumors, high buzz about Woody Allen personal life influencing Cate Blanchet professional life, which I find atrocious but very possible as most Academy members live in Los Angeles and are much exposed to Celebrity gossip, at least more than you and me. Sigh. Blanchett performance is outstanding and out of the ordinary in many levels.

Then you have pundits calling for Amy Adams winning. Absolutely unacceptable as not only Adams "stole" the nomination spot from much deserving Emma Thompson but I did NOT enjoy her performance AT ALL in American Hustle and please recall that I have appreciated her great performances in movies NOT related to David O. Russell. As a matter of fact I believe that Amy Adams and Christian Bale were strong casting mistakes, perhaps with a different type of actors movie would have been different and more appealing.

Will Win: Cate Blanchett (It is an emotional decision)
Could Win: Amy Adams (NO WAY!!!)
Should Win: Cate Blanchett

Actress in a Supporting Role

Allow me to share that I did enjoy all five performances, some more than the others BUT the one performance that jumps out of the ordinary ABSOLUTELY is what Jennifer Lawrence did in American Hustle. She is the only reason I continued watching American Hustle and believe it or not, did not complained about film. She pops-out of the screen with her fantastic performance.

But later in the Oscar race another actress has been getting much more attention as she is being heavily promoted as Red Carpet darling. Yes I'm talking about Lupita Nyong'o. She did an acceptable performance in 12 Years a Slave BUT this film is nothing about females as ALL female roles disappear in the jungle of great performances by male actors. 12 Years a Slave is a Male/Men/Testosterone movie and most actors give outstanding performances no matter how small their role is.

Will Win: Jennifer Lawrence (HAS TO - okay is an emotional decision)
Could Win: Lupita Nyong'o (Academy members like to honor newcomers with this award)
Should Win: Jennifer Lawrence (This young actress does a highly superior performance when compared to other nominees and should NOT be "punished" for doing blockbuster movies.)

Actor in a Leading Role

Do not understand what Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio are doing in this category as their characters were not pleasant BUT their performance made them unwatchable; Bruce Dern was a pleasant positive surprise (now understand why he won the Cannes Palme d'Or) and yes, I do not mind at all if Chiwetel Ejiofor or Matthew McConaughey win as both delighted us with great performances. This another category were a tie will please many, including me.

Will Win: Matthew McConaughey
Could Win: Leonardo DiCaprio (Awful performance)
Should Win: Chiwetel Ejiofor

Actor in Supporting Role

We all know that this year the award HAS to go to one -and only one- impressive performance by Jared Leto. Probabilities tell us that he will and the big surprise will be IF Academy members decide to vote otherwise because the "racy" movie theme and the character Leto performs. There is another great performance, Michael Fassbender but believe this is not his year and know he will get an Oscar sooner than later.

Will Win: Jared Leto
Could Win: Barkhad Abdi (Gosh he barely acted! and recall that I enjoy performances by non-actors)
Should Win: Jared Leto

That's all. Next week will do my "very late" predictions that will include ALL the categories. Hope you had fun reading at least as much fun as I had writing.

Tough But Fair

I'm not the hugest fan of MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell. He feels, too often, like a solid radio talent who has been given a TV show but no on-camera training; hence the way his sanctimony-oozing vocals don't really fit with his smug, Bill Maher-esque expressions. But here and there he delivers some compelling editorializing, and this bit of business from Thursday night tying together Vladimir Putin, The Olympics, Pussy Riot and Edward Snowden is definitely that - some real throwing-up-of-hands, lesser-of-two-evils, tragedy as parody, "world of gray" stuff that most cable news avoids like the plague.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Start Lowering Your Expectations For "FANTASTIC FOUR"

Sigh...

The whole "Marvel Studios doesn't own it's entire universe" thing gets a lot of ink and makes for fun, juicy stories about Disney and Fox deliberately trying to fuck eachother's Marvel projects over (which, however childish, is apparently quite a real thing); but as a fan and a general moviegoer it honestly doesn't bother me that much. I'm not 13 and this isn't 1996 so I have no desperate "OH MAN I WANNA SEE WOLVERINE FUCK ______ UP!!!" need in my life, which would be the only vaugely compelling reason to not let the X-Men just be their own pocket-universe cinematically - hell, in the comics the fun detail of Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch being Magneto's kids has surprising little regular effect on their lives as Avengers. Even if the current Spider-Man movies weren't awful, I'd be okay with him being off on his own because he and The Avengers generally run in different circles (or they did before Marvel decided he should be an Avenger, which is dumb even if there have been some decent Avengers stories since) and don't interact all that often.

The Fantastic Four, on the other hand? Their absence from the Cinematic Universe feels like a genuine missing piece.

See, Marvel heroes have always had "cliques." Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, etc; those are the "renegade" heroes - the good guys with a problematic relationship with the public/police/etc. The X-Men and other mutants have the more extreme persecuted-minority version of that. The Avengers and The Fantastic Four are, jointly, The Establishment. They're the "accepted" heroes. They go to the same parties, know the same people, attend eachothers weddings/funerals, all of that. If The Avengers have a tool or piece of technology not built by Tony Stark, it was built by Reed Richards. The public loves them, the government/military/cops respect and work with them, they do magazine shoots and TV appearances... that's basically why other heroes want to become Avengers in the first place: it's THE mark of legitimacy in their business.

They "fit together," is what I'm saying, which is why I'm not really all that thrilled that Fox is still going ahead with the "FANTASTIC FOUR" reboot. Yes, I like that they got "CHRONICLE's" Josh Trank to direct, and I actually really like the early-announced (so that they could get everybody's bellyaching out of the way) casting of Michael B. Jordan for Human Torch. But as of today, we have a full cast announcement from Variety and... egh.

So. Michael B. Jordan, as announced, is Johnny Storm/Human Torch. Miles Teller is Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic. Kate Mara is Sue Storm/Invisible Woman and Jamie Bell is Ben Grimm/The Thing.

Let's get this out of the way: I have zero problem with Johnny being black. In fact, since Kata Mara is white, that probably means one of them is adopted which is potentially an interesting angle. I also don't think it's a huge problem that Ben Grimm is being played by a skinny young British kid and not a stocky, surly, Jewish (look it up) Noo Yawk'a - The Thing will almost-certainly be a mocap/CGI creation, so it doesn't really matter what Bell really looks like.

No, what bugs me about Bell's casting is what bugs me about the entire cast excluding (mostly) Jordan: They're all too young. I know that's an eye-roll thing, usually, when it comes to this material: Some adult fanboys will never accept that Superman can't look exactly like a father-figure to them anymore because they're father-aged themselves now. I don't necessarily "need" Reed Richards to look like a 50s sitcom dad. What I do need (or, rather, think is important) is that he look like an adult - because that's the core dynamic of this thing: The FF are a family, Reed and Sue are the parents, Johnny and Ben are the kids even though Ben is technically the oldest and Johnny is Sue's younger brother.

At the very least, Reed should look/feel old enough to have become a world-renowned professional scientist. A grown-up. And Miles Teller (who may or may not be a good actor) looks like he's maybe 13. Jamie Bell looks - at least when he's not clean-shaven - like a 19 year-old who kind of has a tough job, like landscaping or something. Kate Mara... is a step up from Jessica Alba, at least, but both of them are too young. One of the main thing that makes this group interesting is that, apart from the powers, 3/4s of them don't "feel" like conventional heroes - they're squares. Grownups. Mom n' Dad types. This makes it just one more Sexy Teenagers Action Movie (in the same way that "STAR TREK" now looks like a bunch of clerks from American Apparel walked over to hang out in the Apple Store), and we've got more than enough of that as it is.

At least, that was my initial objection. Then I read further down in the piece and things all fell into place:

"Based on the comic “The Ultimate Fantastic Four,”

Ah. Well, then, now it all makes sense. In "Ultimate Fantastic Four" they were, in fact, a team of college-aged kids (Reed and Sue are both "child prodigies") working for Sue Storm's father with a completely different, less interesting origin story and personalities. That's one noteworthy thing about "Ultimate Fantastic Four." The other noteworthy thing is that it was god-fucking-awful. Dogshit. Bad even for an "Ultimate" series - and that's pretty damn bad.

Blegh. What a (exceedingly likely) waste of talent, effort, material and money. If anyone needs me, I'll be watching THIS on a continuous loop for awhile.

PULP CATHOLICISM #056

Five Hi-Res GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Screencaps

Yeah I know, everyone is posting screencaps from this. Here's my five:

Rocket Raccoon getting booked. Note the name LYLLA under his known associates. Lylla is Rocket's girlfriend. She is an otter.

John C. Reilly as a member of the Nova Corps. It is flat-out, no-bullshit embarassing that Nova Corps looks this much cooler than the Green Lantern Corps. did.

NEW RULE: If you can accurately describe any portion of a film's trailer using the words "Green Alien Sideboob," it's probably a good movie.

Karen Gillan as Nebula - and before you ask, this character both existed and was blue, hot and bald at least a decade before either MASS EFFECT or FARSCAPE.

The big fella getting hoisted up is named Drax the Destroyer. The guy lifting him is named Ronan the Accuser. This is going to be amazing.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Trailer

At long last, the trailer - which handles it's number one task (tell audiences who these people are) in a refreshingly direct way: Introducing all of The Guardians in extended medium-shot in the context of getting booked into space jail. It's also being very upfront about the real thing that differentiates this from the prior Marvel movies: Instead of an action film with comedy bits, this is a full-stop comedy with an action movie setting. That's Karen Gillan as Nebula aka "the blue chick," incidentally. This is gonna be nutty:

SHORT FEATURE: LEGO HELLRAISER

By now I would imagine that most of you, along with just about everyone else in the world, have seen The Lego Movie. So, with a potential readership equal to the population of the Earth, naturally I was asked to review The Lego Movie for Aleteia.

Now, if you have seen the film, then you know one of the best things about it is all of the cameos by some very recognizable licensed characters. I mean, really, where else are you going to see the likes of Gandalf, Wonder Woman, and Shaquille O'Neal having a conversation? Well, except for maybe that dream you had once which you swore never to tell anyone about, but other than that? However, since The Lego Movie is an all ages affair, there’s still some characters they couldn’t include. Don’t fret though, that’s what YouTube is for…

Ah, Hellraiser. Now there’s a film that’ll always have a soft spot in my heart because it’s the first movie my wife and I ever saw together. What? It was the first one? How could we ever have imagined  the countless wretched sequels that lay in store? Have you seen any of the later ones? Well, I have and let me tell you, the depiction of Hell in those movies may not be very accurate, but the experience of sitting through something like Hellraiser: Revelations has got to be akin to receiving a small taste of Purgatory.

Actually, the Bible itself skimps a little when it comes to describing Hell. Basically it compares it to burning in a fire and says you’ll be miserable for eternity if you end up there. Some later Saints, though, had visions with a bit more detail to them. St. Faustina (of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy fame), for example, wrote in her diary of a particularly vivid impression of Hell she received in a private revelation.

"Today, I was led by an angel to the Chasms of Hell. It is a place of great torture; how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: The First Torture that constitutes hell is: The loss of God. The Second is: Perpetual remorse of conscience. The Third is that one's condition will never change. The Fourth is: The fire that will penetrate the soul without destroying it. A terrible suffering since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit by God's anger. The Fifth Torture is: Continual darkness and a terrible suffocating smell, and despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own. The Sixth Torture is: The constant company of Satan. The Seventh Torture is: Horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blasphemies. These are the Tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end of the sufferings. There are special Tortures destined for particular souls. These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and indescribable sufferings related to the manner in which it has sinned. There are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another. I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of God had not supported me.”

So, yeah, not exactly the fun-filled fetishist holiday depicted in the Hellraiser films.

Now, as the Catechism points out, “Throughout the ages, there have been so-called ‘private’ revelations, some of which have been recognized by the authority of the Church. They do not belong, however, to the deposit of faith. It is not their role to improve or complete Christ's definitive Revelation, but to help live more fully by it in a certain period of history. Guided by the Magisterium of the Church, the sensus fidelium knows how to discern and welcome in these revelations whatever constitutes an authentic call of Christ or his saints to the Church.”

All of which means we’re not required to take St. Faustina’s word that Hell is as she described. But 100% accurate or not, it’s still a vision worth contemplating if it helps us imagine what an eternity separated from God must be like. Plus, it’s got 100% less bondage gear than Hellraiser, so it’s got that going for it.

For Science

I don't generally post "cheesecake" on this blog, but when I do it's for something like this.

For those of you who say that the study of manned flight in Outer Space has nothing left to offer us, that our money would be better spent elsewhere, that nothing new and good can be attained by continuing to look to the stars, I give you: Kate Upton in zero-gravity.

BIG PICTURE: "Ripoff Cop"

The "ROBOCOP" franchise is... not really "back" now in the way the people who paid for that shit remake were probably hoping it would be. Still, let's look at some weird ripoffs of the original movie from the 80s and 90s:

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Ripoff Cop

Second Teaser For The First Trailer For "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY"

Is it hypocritical to rail against the rampant bullshittery that is commercials for commercials and then excitedly post one when it's for something you're into? Probably, if you're into trying to apply broad philosophical concepts like ideological consistency to real life. Fortunately, I'm a realist, which means I'm also fundamentally a pragmatist: Things are "good" when they and/or their results are good, things are "bad" when they and/or their results are bad - everything else is just so much academic masturbation.

Anyway, "trailers for trailers" is a stupid marketing thing, but it's a stupid marketing thing that's now part of the landscape and all marketing is kind of bullshit so we're really just arguing degrees. Bottom line: Marvel is making some of the most dynamic mainstream genre movies right now, everything they release is movie-newsworthy, "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY" looks awesome, this 15 second tease at the trailer set to premier on Jimmy Kimmel tonight shows you some of that awesome, so it's a good thing. Enjoy it: