SHORT FEATURE: GO! GO! GODZILLA! EPISODE ONE

Heads up! It looks like the fine folks at the Godzilla Channel Godzilla (Toho Special Effects) Channel have started up a new puppet series for young kids. 

In this opening episode it appears the Big G is giving some much needed kaiju lessons to Junior and Minilla and, as is often the case, poor Minilla just can't seem to get the hang of things. It's all in Japanese, so I can't really understand a word they're saying, but it's pretty easy to get the gist of what's going on. Even with the language barrier, it's pretty apparent the Japanese appreciate the benefits of both having a good father and of being one. Oh, and fart jokes. They really seem to like those as well.

Back in early 2015, Pope Francis noted, "A good father knows how to wait and knows how to forgive from the depths of his heart. Certainly, he also knows how to correct with firmness: he is not a weak father, submissive and sentimental. The father who knows how to correct without humiliating is the one who knows how to protect without sparing himself." He also stated that "without father figures, young people often feel ‘orphaned,’ left adrift at a critical moment in their growth and development… fathers are necessary as examples and guides for our children in wisdom and virtue.”"

His Holiness didn't say anything about fart jokes.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 11: LITTLE DIFFERENCES

We poke fun at the Lutherans sometimes because, well, they're Lutherans. However, be that as it may, we have to admit the fine folks over at Lutheran Satire have a way of making a point.

People still know who Axl Rose is, right?

Anyway, since the secular Christmas season now starts at least a week before Halloween, it is pretty easy to get burnt out by the time we're into the actual 12 Days of Christmas. Still, if you stay in the right frame of mind, it can be a meaningful period. As they explain over at Catholic Online...

"So bright is the radiance of the Light which has come at Christmas, so awesome is the mystery we celebrate, that a single day's observance barely initiates us into the meaning of the feast... Each year, then, Christians are given two great feast days plus the full season of Christmastide during which the Church would have us savor the mystery of the Incarnation in all its implications. She wants us to absorb it through study and meditation, to re-live it through her liturgy, and finally to begin to make it a part of our everyday lives--so that the Light of Christ which has been given to us may shine out to all those around us--to our family, our neighborhood, our associates in school or office, and out into the larger communities of national and international life."

So, hang in there for a little while longer, it's worth it.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 10: SPACE AGE SANTA CLAUS

If there's one thing Christmastime has no shortage of, it's novelty songs. Here's a little ditty from 1961 by the Hal Bradley Orchestra with Patty Marie Jay on vocals that's custom made for this blog, Space Age Santa Claus...

Don't let the song's goofiness fool you. Like most novelty pieces of that era, Space Age Santa Claus is actually put together with a little bit of skill. I mean, besides Lynyrd Skynyrd's Give Me Three Steps (of all things) and maybe Springsteen's Blinded by the Light, how many pop tunes can you name whose lyrics include sestains with an AABCCB rhyme scheme? Here's the first verse...

Santa Claus has a rocket sleigh

Getting ready to zoom away

On his first trip into space

In his pressurized suit with the fur along the border

And a long white bearded helmet made just to order

He’ll take the Christmas spirit every place

You know who also liked sestains, at least on occasion; the 17th century Anglican priest and poet George Herbert. His piece, Man's Medley, uses the form to explore the duel physical and spiritual nature of mankind's joys and sorrows. Being a man of the cloth, he obviously recommends those of the spirit, as the last two stanzas attest...

But as his joys are double, 

So is his trouble. 

He hath two winters, other things but one: 

Both frosts and thoughts do nip, 

And bite his lip; 

And he of all things fears two deaths alone. 

Yet ev'n the greatest griefs 

May be reliefs, 

Could he but take them right, and in their ways. 

Happy is he, whose heart 

Hath found the art 

To turn his double pains to double praise.

Yeah, it doesn't quite roll off the tongue like Skynyrd, or Space Age Santa Claus for that matter, but it's hard to argue with the conclusions.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 8: THE MILKMAID AND HER PAIL

On this day of eight maids a milking, what could be more appropriate than Aesop's classic fable, The Milkmaid and Her Pail? Of course, there are untold versions of this story on YouTube, but anybody over the age of 30 will instantly feel a twinge of nostalgia once they press play and they'll understand why I chose this particular adaptation.

Talk about auld lang syne. Who of a certain age doesn't remember the pressure of being chosen to run the film strip projector and hoping you didn't somehow miss the little beep indicating it was time to turn the knob and switch to the next picture? Or worse, they had those automatic ones that never worked properly and the teacher would have to step in and try to re-sync the audio with the correct image. Horrible.

Now, some of you young whipper-snappers out there may be rolling your eyes at this ancient tech, but when you can give me a YouTube that doesn't have the occasional buffer issues, then I'll accept your judgment. Besides, keep in mind that one day you'll be old, and all those kids who are having video beamed directly to the chip in their skull will roll their eyes at you and the thought of your antiquated social media sites. Just you wait.

However the technology develops, I hope future generations keep in mind the words of Pope benedict XVI, who wrote in his encyclical Caritas in Veritate...

"Technology is highly attractive because it draws us out of our physical limitations and broadens our horizon. But human freedom is authentic only when it responds to the fascination of technology with decisions that are the fruit of moral responsibility. Hence the pressing need for formation in an ethically responsible use of technology. Moving beyond the fascination that technology exerts, we must reappropriate the true meaning of freedom, which is not an intoxication with total autonomy, but a response to the call of being, beginning with our own personal being."

In other words, when developing new tech, don't skip the moral dimension in a rush to get to the end goal, otherwise you might drop the proverbial pail and count your technological chickens before they hatch.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 7: KAIJU CHRISTMAS

Some things have to be posted simply because they exist. Such is the case with the Kaiju Christmas song...

Yeah, I have no idea what he's saying. Fortunately, we live in the Internet era, so it doesn't take much effort to look up a translation for the lyrics listed in the liner notes. Here's one courtesy of MyKaiju.

Go-Go-Gojira Santa Claus! Looking good with a red hat

Full of gifts! With Minilla too! Look! Look! Hear the sound of bells!

La la la la la la! A present!

With a white beard and shaking smile

La la la la la la! A ringing bell!

Everyone sing, Christmas!

Mo-Mo-Mothra is a flying bird! Coming from a distant land!
(Line not translated)

La la la la la la! A present!

The monsters' hearts are bouncing

La la la la la la! A ringing Bell!

Snow is falling! Christmas! Snow is falling! Christmas!

Hmm, that seems a little sketchy in places. There's even one line they either overlooked or couldn't figure out. Maybe we should give Google Translate a shot at it.

Go-Go-Gojira! Santa's red hat suits you well

Souvenirs filled with Minilla The sound of a bell that can hear this

La la la la la la! A present!

White beard also shakes

La la la la la la! A ringing bell!

Let's sing together every Christmas

Mo-Mo-Mothra is a flying bird from a distant country

Dance with your hands tightly and sad tears blown away

La la la la la la! A present!

The hearts of monsters also bounce

La la la la la la! A ringing Bell!

Christmas falling snowing Christmas falling snowing Christmas!

Alrighty then. Either way, it doesn't look like we're getting it absolutely right. And this is translating something from a language that over 125 million people use every single day. No wonder we're constantly seeing new translations of the Bible coming out. After all, the Scriptures were written in ancient Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek, none of which are in common use anymore. It's a miracle we can piece together decent modern translations at all, much less agree on what the original authors were trying to say. If only there had been put in place some final authority to settle matters when disputes over the Bible arose. Oh, wait...

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 6: A STRANGER THINGS CHRISTMAS

Of course I watch Stranger Things. Was there ever any doubt? I am, after all, the poster boy for the show's demographic. And, yes, I still watch A Charlie Brown Christmas every year. It remains a thing of singular beauty in an increasingly ugly world. So, when I saw there was a mix-up of the two, well, all I could say is... sign me up!

I have to admit, Thirteen has a point. Eggos are pretty much the answer to a lot of problems. Sure, there are the rare instances when the golden goodness of a waffle just isn't enough, and when those moments arise, it is good to have someone around who really loves you to help you get through it all. Still, waffles are pretty darn good.

You know, like almost everything else in the modern world, the Catholic Church had a hand in the creation of waffles. The ancient Greeks are the ones who first started roasting thin cakes between two heated pans, but it wasn't until the Church got involved that their popularity really took off. Called oublies, medieval waffles were basically over-sized communion wafers (unconsecrated, of course). Made from the same ingredients as hosts, these grilled goodies were often decorated with religious imagery and served after meals as a form of symbolic blessing.

Eventually, the Church gave permission for people to make their own oublies, and that's when butter, cream, and spices began being introduced into the recipe. Non-Church oublies, or wafels as they came to be known, also didn't need to be unleavened, so they began to get a bit thicker. And then the Dutch got involved in the 15th Century, started using square pans, and voilà... Eggos. Okay, so it actually took a little bit more time to reach Thirteen's favorite frozen food, but the basics were there.

So, the next time you're overcome by greed and gluttony and feel the compulsion to shout "Leggo my Eggo!", maybe you should consider the waffle's holy origin and decide to share instead. That's what a friend would do.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 5: HARDROCK, COCO AND JOE

Most depictions of Santa's annual Christmas Eve delivery show the old fella making his rounds all by himself. When you think about it, though, that's a twenty-four hour trip. Unless Santa is pounding down Red Bull the whole time, he probably needs an occasional hand with the driving. That's where Hardrock and Coco come in. Oh, and Joe, I guess...

Joe. What a loser. Even the lyrics don't pretend he has any use whatsoever. Santa loves hims, though, so he gets to come along for the ride.

It's kind of like the way God loves us, no matter if we're 'useful' or not. As Pope Francis noted, "This is precisely what the prophetic ministry of Jesus consists of: announcing that no human condition can constitute grounds for exclusion from the heart of the Father, and that the only privilege in the eyes of God is that of not being privileged, of being abandoned into his hands."

That's certainly good news for those of us who aren't out there doing the heavy work when it comes to the faith. We can't all be priests or nuns or ministry leaders or whatever. Some of us just do silly things like watching bad movies and trying to find something good and true in them. Some of us are Joe. And God let's us come along anyway, cause he loves us so.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 3: FRANKENSTEIN VS. SANTA

It's time to say those two little words that will most likely cause at least half of you to immediately run screaming for the hills. It's time to we said... Prog Rock!

For those of you who stuck around, I'm sure you noticed the strains of O Come, O Come, Emmanuel sneaking in there at some point. You know, most people can toss off the first verse of that old carol with no problem. Usually by the third verse, though, it's a good idea to have a hymnal around or someone's bound to get completely lost. It goes like this:

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free

Thine own from Satan's tyranny

From depths of hell Thy people save

And give them victory o'er the grave

Rod of Jesse is something of an obscure reference. It comes from older translations of Isaiah 11:1 where it states, "And there shall come forth a rod out of the root of Jesse, and a flower shall rise up out of his root." The verse is referring to a savior who will come from the line of Jesse, the man who would go on to father King David. From there, it doesn't take much to connect the dots from David to Jesus. So, basically, the Rod of Jesse is a reference that draws attention to how Jesus, through his family tree, fulfilled yet another Old Testament prophecy.

What does any of that have to do with Santa fighting Frankenstein to the strains of Prog Rock? Absolutely nothing that I know of. But hey, when you listen to Prog Rock, the mind, much like the music, tends to wander, so cut me some slack.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 1: SILENT NIGHT (GOAT EDITION)

Advent has come to an end and Christmas is upon us. So join us, will you, in singing along to that perennial classic, Silent Night...

Sorry, my neighbor recently picked up a few more goats and one of them is a screamer. After one too many blood curdling shrieks in the middle of the night, I have goat on the brain. Besides, animals are just as much a part of the Christmas story as Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, right? Oddly enough, no. Even though animals are almost always included in nativity scenes, there are none mentioned in the infancy narrative in the Bible. Not a one.

Then why are there always animals in nativity scenes? Well, apparently it started with a 3rd century homily by early Church father Origen. He suggested that the birthplace of Christ was the same one referenced in Isaiah 1:3, where it states, "An ox knows its owner, and an ass, its master’s manger." Once that link was established, it quickly became a tradition to include an ox and an ass in artwork depicting Jesus' birth. And when St. Francis put together the first live nativity scene, sure enough, an ox and an ass were included. St. Bonaventure describes it this way...

"It happened in the third year before his death, that in order to excite the inhabitants of Grecio to commemorate the nativity of the Infant Jesus with great devotion, [St. Francis] determined to keep it with all possible solemnity; and lest he should be accused of lightness or novelty, he asked and obtained the permission of the sovereign Pontiff. Then he prepared a manger, and brought hay, and an ox and an ass to the place appointed."

Hey, if St. Francis says it's okay to have animals at the nativity, it has to be okay. So, have a very goat Christmas everyone. Christ the Savior is born.

SHORT FEATURE: NOVEMBER 1ST

Well, this short just about sums up what it's like for monster kids everywhere after Halloween has ended.

Fortunately for us religious minded folk the Holiday season isn't quite over. Here's hoping everyone had a great All Saints Day and will have a meaningful All Souls Day tomorrow commemorating the lives of the faithful departed.

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.

SHORT FEATURE: FRANK ZAPPA - CHEEPNIS

Ah, the joys of free association. While reviewing the new theatrical version of IT for Aleteia, I couldn't help but recall all those other ITs which have appeared in movies over the decades. Naturally, I had to write about them over at SCENES. That led to a discussion of It Conquered the World, which just so happened to be a favorite of fellow B-movie aficionado Frank Zappa. Knowing that, what else could I do but share this video a fan put together for the rock icon's ode to all things low budget. Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing and listening pleasure, we present Cheepnis...

In his book You Are What You See: Watching Movies Through a Christian Lens, author Scott Nehring suggests that "we make a statement with the films we choose to see, and those films eventually express themselves in our daily lives." If that's true, what does it say about folks like me and Frank Zappa who have a deep and abiding love for cheap monster movies and the like.

Well, obviously, I can't speak for Frank and neither can he now, so his reasons will have to remain a mystery. As for myself, there is no one answer. Part of it is the simple fun, escapism, and novelty to be found in these types of films. I mean, did you watch the video? There's a clip in there featuring a giant monkey swinging a dinosaur around by the tail. That's fun, escapist, and novel all rolled into one.

There's nothing inherently evil in any of those things, although they can end up that way if not taken in moderation. Continuous novelty seeking, for instance, might indicate someone is a dopamine or adrenaline junkie, and we wouldn't want that. Rest assured, I know when it's time to stop having fun, turn the channel, and wallow in the misery of the nightly news for a while. And vice versa.

But it's more than just the entertainment aspects. Like many other religious persons, I try to filter everything through a spiritual lens. Or as the Jesuits might put it, I do my best to find God in everything. And yes, that even goes for movies with giant monkeys swinging dinosaurs around by the tail. You'd be surprised how much God can be discovered in films like that. Often buried really, really deep, sure, but still there. And surprisingly, that makes them all the more fun, escapist, and novel. As evidence, I offer ten years of this blog.

And that's enough navel gazing for one night. Let's get back to the movies shall we? See you next time.

SHORT FEATURE: MAGIC MUMMY

Well, the latest iteration of The Mummy has hit the big screen, and the critics have been less than kind to say the least. As of this writing, it currently sits at 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. That means there is probably more critics who would prefer to catch Mummy Crotch Rot (you’re welcome, D&D fans) than there are who would want to sit through The Mummy again.

Me, I was a little less brutal in my own review over at Aleteia, but not by much. It’s just so… average. Even the supposed novelty of a female mummy has been done more than a few times before, as noted in this list over at Wicked Horror. But even that list seems to have overlooked this little nugget starring Tom & Jerry from 1933…

Not quite the Tom & Jerry you were expecting, huh? Yep, there was actually another duo who went by those names almost a decade before the celebrated cat and mouse showed up. They were basically Van Beuren's answer to Mutt & Jeff, and they had a decent run of 26 shorts over a three year period. Even so, nobody really remembers them anymore thanks to the more famous Tom & Jerry who came along later.

Oh well, not everyone gets to be the headliner in the history books, even if they have the right name. Take Mary in the New Testament, for example. No, not that Mary. No, not that Mary either. Or that one.

You see, there are actually six women (possibly seven) named Mary in the New Testament. There’s Mary, the mother of Jesus, of course. Then you have Mary of Magdala and Mary of Bethany, sister of Martha, both of whom are pretty well known. There’s also the two other Marys who were present at the crucifixion, Mary Salome, the mother of St. James the Great and St. John, and Mary Clopas, mother of St. James the Less and Joseph. Finally, there’s Mary, the mother of John Mark, who’s only mentioned two, possibly three times (there’s a Mary of Rome referenced in Romans who may or may not be the same woman, hence the possibility of seven Marys).

The thing is, though, all six of the Marys in the New Testament, even the little known ones, are recognized as Saints by the Church. Sure, Mary, the mother of John Mark, isn’t really the patron saint of anything and you’ll have a heck of a time finding a holy card with her face on it, but she’s a Saint just the same. And in the end, isn’t that the real goal? What does it matter if anybody here remembers your name or not? As long as it’s on the guest list at the pearly gates, you’ll be fine.

SHORT FEATURE: LEANING

Another day, another depressing poll. According to the most recent Gallup survey on American’s perception of honesty and ethical standards amongst various professions, things are still looking dour for the clergy. According to the study…

“Americans' ‘high’ or ‘very high’ ratings of the clergy slipped to 44%, its lowest point since Gallup first asked the question in 1977. The clergy rating first dropped below 50% in 2013 to 47% and slipped one point to a new low in each of the past three years.

Clergy ranked at the top of the list in 1977 with a 61% rating when Gallup first included the profession in the list. In 2001, almost two-thirds of Americans rated the honesty and ethical standards of the clergy as ‘high’ or ‘very high.’ But the sexual abuse scandal that engulfed the Roman Catholic Church in 2002 brought the rating down to 52% that year. By 2013, after a series of further revelations of abuse, less than half of the public gave the clergy a ‘high’ or ‘very high’ rating.”

So, yeah, perception of the clergy would seem to be at an all-time low. But you know the problem with perceptions, right? The initial ones aren’t always the most accurate, as the short film Leaning aptly demonstrates. (Content warning: there will be blood.)

Perceptions can change. Even Gallop’s survey hints at it. For instance, go further into the data and you find this tidbit:

“Among those most likely to give the clergy a ‘high’ or ‘very high’ rating this month were Protestants (59%), those aged 65 and older (58%), those who attend religious services at least weekly (57%), and Republicans (56%). The groups least likely to rate the clergy's standards as ‘high’ or ‘very high’ were the nonreligious (22%), 18- to 29-year-olds (30%), those with annual household incomes under $30,000 (31%), those with a high school education or less (37%), and liberals (37%).”

In other words, those who rate clergy low on the trustworthiness scale are those unlikely to interact with them on a regular basis. Those who do, such as regular churchgoers, tend to rate clergy much higher. Just as in Leaning, perceptions change once you see what the clergy is actually up to. The truth is, once you get to know the majority of clergy (there’s always a few duds), the more you discover just how much these people devote their lives to serving others. So, if we want to increase the positive perception of the clergy, the solution is simple. Help get more people into the Church. And we do that by becoming better Christians. Somehow, it always comes back to that, doesn’t it?

SHORT FEATURE: THE BANANA SPLITS - I'M GONNA FIND A CAVE

In celebration of National Banana Split Day (because, why not), let's take a moment to listen to the dulcet tones of... The Banana Splits (bet you saw that coming) singing one of their more popular tunes, I'm Gonna Find A Cave...

"Gonna find a cave where we can hide - Everything we crave will be inside - Oh yeah Me and you and all the goodies there - If I want I can pull you by the hair - Doop doop doop dip dip - I'm gonnna find a cave."

You know, they were making the whole idea of chucking everything and going to find an isolated cave to live in sound pretty good up, at least until they got to the hair-pulling part. I'm not sure what that was all about or what woman would possibly go for it. Still, getting away from it all can sometimes be a good idea. 

One person who certainly thought so was St. Paul of Thebes, a.k.a. Paul The Hermit. Back around the year 250 AD, Paul fled to a cave in the desert to avoid a property-snatching scheme by his anti-Christian brother-in-law. According to legend, he soon discovered cave dwelling to be conducive to his spirituality, so he decided to spend the next 90 years of his life there (which would explain that whole Paul The Hermit nickname thing). It would be another hundred years or so before the cave-craze really caught on, but Paul is generally credited with kick-starting the group known as the Desert Fathers, a loose-knit assemblage of Christian ascetics whose way of life would eventually morph into modern day monasticism. Leave it to God to find a way to turn anti-social tendencies into a social movement that has meant so much to so many.

SHORT FEATURE: STAR TRACT

Considering the contents of this blog, I am hardly in the position to cast stones at anyone’s efforts at evangelism, especially when they use the trappings of a classic science fiction show...

Must… not… cast… stones!

Anyway, those who have spent some time in evangelical churches like I have should be more than familiar with the practice of handing out tracts to non-believers. Passing along those little pamphlets is done in the hope of planting a small seed in the non-Christian’s mind that will eventually blossom and lead them to Christ. Tracts can range in content from benign bible musings to the notorious ravings of Jack Chick.

For better or worse, tracts aren’t quite as ubiquitous these days as they used to be. A few years back, Christianity Today even asked some prominent Christians if anyone should still be handing the things out at all. Christian Smith, professor of sociology at Notre Dame, was most definitely in the NO column, stating, “Very rarely. Most people become Christians through relationships, not by being handed pieces of paper. The latter usually has more to do with some Christians feeling like they are ‘doing something’ than anything that changes people.”

That being said, tracts are still around, even Catholic ones. Most Catholic bookstores have a few for sale and Catholic Answers has a whole section devoted to them, so if you feel called to pass some out, they’re available. Whether or not you should do so while speaking in a bad Shatner imitation, that’s entirely up to you.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS–DAY 12: FRANKENSTEIN VS. SANTA

And so another 12 Days of Christmas comes to an end, and yet, technically Christmas isn’t quite yet over as Ordinary Time doesn’t officially begin until the Monday after the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. We’re kind of floating in a weird time when it’s not really one season or the other…

But hey, why choose? As we mentioned a few days ago, whenever and wherever there’s a mass, there’s Christmas. And let’s face it, around these parts, it’s pretty much always Halloween. Most important, though, is the simple fact that God is always present, right here and right now, no matter what time of the year it is.

So, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Groovy Ordinary Time (we don’t really have a traditional way of wishing someone a good Ordinary Time, do we), and peace be with you all. Hope to see you all around this year.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS–DAY 11: CAROL OF THE BRAINS

Dig into the origins of Carol of the Bells and you'll find that the original lyrics actually didn’t have anything to do with bells at all, or Christmas for that matter. Based on a Ukranian folk tale, they told the story of a swallow flying into a home in order to announce what a glorious new year the family was about to have. It wasn’t until 1936 that lyricist and orchestral arranger Peter J. Wilhousky changed the lyrics to the popular Christmas-centric ones we know today. Since then, there have been at least three other versions released with slightly modified lyrics, though none have caught on as well as Wilhousky’s. Maybe this one will…

Yeah, maybe we should just stick with the one we know.

The funny thing is, although Wilhousky changed the lyrics to match the season, Carol of the Bells still doesn’t explicitly mention anything at all about the religious origins of Christmas. Even so, it’s not much of a stretch to assume that the titular bells which are bringing such good cheer are the same ones which once rang out from steeples to call the faithful to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. They could even be the small bells many parishes still ring throughout the Gloria during that particular liturgy. The old Catholic Encyclopedia actually lends a bit of credence to that latter notion as it purports that the introduction of bells during the liturgy was actually for the benefit of those outside the church and not those within…

“From the introduction of the Elevation of the Host in the Mass at the beginning of the thirteenth century it seems to have been customary to ring one of the great bells of the church, at any rate during the principal Mass, at the moment when the Sacred Host was raised on high. This was to give warning to the people at work in the fields in order that they might momentarily kneel down and make an act of adoration. It seems, however, not improbable that in England the big bell was not commonly rung but that a small hand-bell was used for the purpose. This was taken to a small window (low side window) ordinarily closed by a shutter, thrust through the aperture and rung outside the church.”

You know, maybe it’s time more parishes brought back the ringing of church bells. If the church buildng itself is supposed to be a physical statement on the presence of God in the community, wouldn’t it be a nice thing to provide it with a voice as well?

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS–DAY 10: HONEST TRAILERS: JUPITER ASCENDING

I don’t watch a lot of the Honest Trailers series on YouTube because I normally prefer to provide my own snark for the movies I watch. But when I saw that they were taking on Jupiter Ascending, hands down one of the goofest movies to come out in 2015, I just couldn’t resist…

Actually, the funniest part of the whole thing is when they simply restate the convoluted plot of the film with no embellishment. Watching Jupiter Ascending, you could tell the Wachowski’s really, really wanted to write their very own version of Dune except, you know, with dog-eared guys on roller skates instead of worm-riding warriors. Never has so silly a film been so chock full of labyrinthine world-building.

Hey, if you’d like to hear an elaborate take on on our solar system’s largest planet, but with 100% less toilet-cleaning space princesses, then you might want to take the time on this tenth day of Christmas as we preemptively celebrate The Epiphany to track down and read astronomer Mark Thompson’s theory that the Star of Bethlehem was, in fact, the planet Jupiter. It’s a pretty cool theory that takes into acocunt planetary positions, astrological beliefs during biblical times, and the illusory effects of retrograde motion. If his theory is correct, it would even pretty much nail down the year of Jesus’ birth.

All that’s nice, of course, because it would demontrate that yet one more thing in the Bible was an actual historical event and not just metaphor. And yet that wouldn’t stop the Star from having theological significance as well. As Father Scott Carl, assistant professor of Sacred Scripture at St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity, explained in an interview with The Catholic Spirit:

“First, Matthew tells us that the Magi have seen ‘his star at its rising’ (Matthew 2:2). His readers would have made a connection to the promise made to Abraham that his descendents would be like the stars of heaven (Genesis 15:5; 22:17); Jesus is one of these descendents who surely stands out. Second, Numbers 24:17 says that ‘a star shall advance from Jacob.’ This verse was seen as a prophecy about the Messiah who was to come. Jesus, being a descendent of Abraham, thus, comes from the line of Jacob, and so the star of Bethlehem fulfills this Old Testament prophecy. Third, the fact that the Magi, astrologers from the East, seeing the star, come looking for the newborn king shows that the Gospel message is not just for those of Jesus’ race but for all people. The star, therefore, helps to communicate the universal significance to Jesus’ birth.”

Not bad for a story without Channing Tatum in eyeliner, huh?

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS–DAY 9: THE HOBBY

It has been said that a person without a hobby is a much to be pitied individual. Of course, the taking up a hobby doesn’t necessarily guarantee the pity should stop…

Yow! It would appear St. Basil The Great, one of the Saints whom we honor on this 9th day of Christmas, was right on the nose when he famously warned, “Leisure without the fear of God is, for those who do not know how to use time, the teacher of wickedness.”

Along with being quotable, Basil was also something of a joker. He made that oft-repeated statement near the end of  homliy in which he was brow-beating certain members of the congregation for their gambling habit. Knowing that many of them were itching for mass to end so they could rush out to the dice tables, Basil stretched out his homily a bit. Finally, as the pewsitters began to get really fidgety, he got in one last jab. “Perhaps, some profit will be found in what I have said;” the future Saint speculated, “but, if not, at least, because you have been kept occupied here, you have not sinned. Therefore, to detain you longer is to withdraw you for a longer time for evils.”

Say, that’s a pretty good strategy isn’t it, making mass longer to keep folks from sinning? Or, you know, at least it was back in the days when even the gambling addicts were respectful unough to wait until mass was actually over before bolting for the door.

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS–DAY 8: MOTHER

If a mother is doing all the things a mother is called on to do throughout any given day, then odds are she’s doing way too much…

Yeah, it’s safe to say a good mother earns her fair share of love and respect. Take Mary, for instance. She carried the incarnate God in her womb and provided all of the genetic material for his body. She cared for him as a child and guided him as a young man at the start of his ministry. She was there for Jesus at the end of his earthly life and for his followers at the beginning of his Church. And now Mary resides in Heaven and intercedes on behalf of anyone who asks her to. Yep, I’d say she’s due for more than just a nice card. That’s why the Church is quick to shower as much honor on the mother of Christ as it can on the first day of each year.

Ginny Kubitz Moyer, author of Mary and Me: Catholic Women Reflect on the Mother of God, had this to say about the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God:

“The use of the word ‘Solemnity’ here is not a statement about Mary’s personality. It is a designation used for certain days within the liturgical (church-based) calendar of the Church. Solemnities are the highest rank of liturgical celebration, higher than feast days or memorials. By celebrating a solemnity dedicated to Mary’s motherhood, the Church highlights the significance of her part in the life of Jesus, and emphasizes that he is both human and divine.”

See, it’s about Mary, but’s it’s really about her child. Which is the way it is with all good moms when you really stop and think about it.