I watch movies every week and then write down my thoughts. Read my previous reviews!
My rating is simple, Watch It, It Depends, Skip it.
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| Jurassic World -It overshoots, it misses. |
Watch Jurassic World
Written by: Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver and Colin Trevorrow & Derek Connolly (screenplay); Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver (story); Michael Crichton (characters)
Directed by: Colin Trevorrow
Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins,
Rated: R
Plot:
A genetically modified dinosaur bred to be bigger, meaner, and more likely to escape, unexpectedly escapes from Jurassic World, the fully functioning dinosaur theme park and petting zoo that Jurassic Park never wished to be. Only one man, Owen Grady played by Chris Pratt and his pet raptors can stop the aptly named Indominus Rex.
Review:
Comparisons to Jurassic Park are inevitable, so let's get that out of the way. I remember scenes from the original, seeing the first dinosaur, Alan Grant implanting a nightmare about raptors in a child's mind, and the raptors flanking the big game hunter among others. These were moments that surprised and entertained, slowing down the action to set a mood. Jurassic World doesn't do that. It distills the unique characters into two stereotypes and keeps the action non-stop. All while attempting a record number of cliches per minute.
Bryce Dallas Howard plays a marketing manager only concerned with profits. She's also a neglectful aunt with a strained relationship with her sister to wrap up the family cliche.
I'm amazed this movie did so well when it's not very good. The budget is big. The acting is only notable because the actors had so little with which to work and still nearly made it work. Even with all the money, the production design isn't that great. This park doesn't look that great, not like the original. I was appalled (yes, it's an appropriate response) at the very first scene which is CGI. It doesn't look good and it isn't believable. How did the original made over twenty years ago have better CGI?
The only iconic cars are the ones the characters find when they stumble upon the original park, hidden with the wilds of Jurassic World. If that doesn't make much sense, the movie seems to pride itself on things that are unlikely bordering on impossible, things like a human with a three foot stride outrunning a Tyrannosaurus with a forty food stride. Oh, and that person wears heels during the chase and throughout the movie. In reality, that doesn't work. In fantasy, that doesn't work.
I have to point out the raptors as trained military weapons subplot because it really is utterly ridiculous. Vincent D'onofrio wants to take the raptors, the same animals that terrorized in the first movie, and make them military weapons. He thinks this is possible because Chris Pratt has trained them like dogs.
Of course the big bad dinosaur escapes, but the movie doesn't even play that up for drama, like the first movie did with the T-rex.
The writing is bad and the cliches are tiring. Instead of creating a good scene with a few dinosaurs, the movie packs the screen with them. More dinosaurs to hide the faults of this movie is not the answer. The end is completely unsatisfying using a deus ex machina cliche. My thoughts throughout this movie were that wouldn't work, you can't do that, and that's impossible.
Verdict
There are better big budget popcorn movies. This is a b level movie with a huge budget. Chris Pratt is the lone bright spot in this abysmal movie and the 'character' was done better in Guardians of the Galaxy. Watch that instead. Worst of all, this movie is forgettable, a non-stop showcase of well-used cliches. If you really want to see a park based dinosaur movie, save yourself time and disappointment and watch the original, Jurassic Park.
Skip it.
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| Terminator Genisys - It's fan fiction with a huge budget. |
Watch Terminator Genisys
Written by: Laeta Kalogridis & Patrick Lussier (written by); James Cameron & Gale Ann Hurd (characters)
Directed by: Alan Taylor
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Matt Smith
Rated: PG-13
Plot:
Kyle Reese is sent back to 1984 from 2077 to protect Sarah Connor, who ends up saving him instead. The world is at stake, and Skynet must be stopped so they travel to 2017.
Review:
Comparisons to the original two films are impossible when it duplicates so much material. There are shot for shot scenes recreated. This movie comes across as a teenager combining their favorite parts of The Terminator and Terminator 2 and then adding a lot of craziness and explosions.
Timelines are closed loops, this movie treats them as open which creates numerous inconsistencies.
Jai Courtney is no Michael Biehn. He and Jason Clarke, who plays John Connor, don't feel like characters in a war ravaged world. They and the resistance have matching uniforms and a level of supply not seen or implied in previous iterations. It's not bleak enough nor dirty enough, and they're too cheerful.
The logic of this timeline is all over the place. Anything can happen because it doesn't matter. It gives the writers free reign to throw it all in (including the sink) with no checks and balances. While we get an impeccable homage to the original in the first half hour, it's superfluous because it undoes everything in the first movie.
The dialog in this movie is atrocious. The writers should have played a game of would Michael Biehn or Linda Hamilton say this in T1 or T2? The answer in nearly all cases is NO! Emilia Clarke doesn't have the gravitas of Linda Hamilton. The dialog is fan fiction, clunky, and doesn't fit these characters. They sound like teenagers bickering throughout the film.
The problem with the movie is that the budget is too big. A reboot of the Terminator franchise with no terminators would be more interesting and daring. We have a new terminator that isn't that much of an evolution over the T-1000. J.K. Simmons is in the mix for a few minutes but his character turns out to be minor. I can't understand why he was included at all, unless it was just a distraction to make me think about the amazing movie he starred in last year, Whiplash.
This movie wouldn't be that bad if it weren't part of The Terminator franchise, despite the numerous plot contrivances and holes, but it takes so much material from the original two which are far, far superior. The only part I liked was the introduction of John Connor in 2017. That was the lone good scene in this abysmal movie.
Verdict
All of that and the ending of this movie is much weaker than even Terminator Salvation. The dialog is terrible. The acting is average to lacking and the story is so convoluted and contrived. Fan fiction is when a fan tries to write a story about their favorite movie. That's what happened here. I would have no trouble believing a teenage fan wanted to create 'the coolest movie ever' and developed this script. It's actually quite stunning that it fails on so many levels concurrently. I long for the timeline where this movie is erased from existence along with Skynet.
Skip it.
Terminator SPOILERS
This movie drives me crazy. Nearly all the dialog is bad. And I have to take a moment to complain about the plot issues. Somehow, seemingly only for the sake of this movie, Sarah Connor gets her own terminator at age nine. Who sent it is never explained, but it does allow for the basis of this movie. How does Sarah and this terminator know how to find Reese and the original T-800? It's never explained, there is no way for them to have this knowledge. How are all of these terminators sent back in time anyway?
There is talk of a magical nexus point and Reese gets memories from two different worlds. His memories are another key point to further the plot. So many concepts are shoehorned in at an attempt to explain the plot or to make it more than it is. Kyle and Sarah jump to 2017 and from what we see never create John. How would John even exist? John posits he can kill both his parents, which is ridiculous. And in a glib moment John accidentally calls Kyle 'dad.' John has kept this secret for what twenty years and somehow lets it slip now? Any movie after this is going to have trouble untangling all these timeline strings. The best thing is to abandon this movie and start fresh. Let's not even get into the fact that Skynet visibly ages in this movie. For some reason a computer feels the need to show off to humans? Why? Why did they jump to the day Skynet is created, how does Skynet become sentient before it's released to the internet?
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