HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: BLOOD FREAK

Long time readers know how Holy Horrors For Halloween works. Every year (almost) right before All Hallows Eve, I recommend a religious themed genre movie or two that doesn’t rely on exorcism and/or miserable priests on the verge of losing their faith to drive the story. Past entries in this series have included The Wicker Man, Bless The Child, The Believers, Brimstone & Treacle, This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, The Devil Rides Out and Jug Face. That’s a pretty good list, but there’s one problem with it. It’s a pretty good list; there’s no truly awful movie on it. Well, we’re going to fix that little oversight right this minute.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Blood Freak.

“A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl's sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers.” ~ The Movie DB

“This has been a story based partly on fact, and partly on probability. But the horrors that occur in the minds of those who allow the indiscriminate use of the human body as a mixing bowl of drugs and chemicals are as real as the real horror.”

“No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13-14 , NABRE

While we avoid politics like the plague here at the B-Movie Catechism, that doesn’t mean we’re unaware of what goes on outside our theater walls. That includes the current kerfuffle over the opioid crisis spreading throughout these United States. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, “every day, more than 90 Americans die after overdosing on opioids. The misuse of and addiction to opioids — including prescription pain relievers, heroin, and synthetic opioids such as fentanyl — is a serious national crisis that affects public health as well as social and economic welfare.” Things have gotten so bad that even puppies aren’t safe anymore.

With the situation now officially declared a national public health emergency, we will no doubt be hearing a lot more about the opioid crisis in the months to follow. You know, when it comes to raising public awareness about the dangers of drug abuse, filmmakers have always been quick to exploit join the cause. In her book Hooked: Drug War Films in Britain, Canada, and the United States, Susan C. Boyd writes…

“Drug prohibition emerged at the same time as the discovery of film, in the late nineteenth century and early twentieth century, and their histories intersect in significant ways… Cautionary and temperance stories about weak-willed people, drug-scare tales, and later addiction-as-disease narratives became familiar plot lines that movie viewers have come to recognize.”

Hollywood’s anti-drug efforts have ranged from the sensational (1894’s Chinese Opium Den) to the infamous (1936’s Reefer Madness) to the “Please, God, I promise I’ll never do drugs, just don’t ever make me watch that again!” (2000’s Requiem for a Dream). Out of all of them, though, no other anti-drug film has scaled the peaks of insanity as high as Blood Freak, the movie Something Weird Video gleefully advertises as "The World's Only Turkey-Monster-Anti-Drug-Pro-Jesus-Gore Film!"

Where to start? With the directors, I suppose, because that’s where the movie does. Brad F. Grinter was an active nudist, occasional actor, and not-so prolific director of Z-grade movies. Based on the evidence, nudity was probably his strongest talent out of the three. Along with his dubious directorial and scripting efforts on Blood Freak, Grinter plays the mustachioed narrator who introduces the film while sitting at a desk wearing a velour shirt and taking long drags on a cigarette. Think of him as kind of a cross between Plan 9’s Criswell and a background extra from Boogie Nights.

After rambling on a while about how change is the only constant, the narrator introduces us to burly biker Herschel, played by Grinter’s co-director and co-screenwriter, Steve Hawkes. Upon arriving from Europe, Hawkes first pursued his dream of becoming the next Johnny Weissmuller by playing a Tarzan knockoff in a series of Spanish language films. It was supposedly during the last of those productions that Hawkes received burns over 90% of his body. Deciding to channel some of that experience into a screenplay, he connected with Grinter and the rest is history. Well, somebody’s idea of history anyway.

We see Herschel stop to help stranded motorist Angel who, true to her name, offers to take the homeless Vietnam veteran to her father’s turkey farm where he can have a meal and maybe get some work. On the way, the extremely religious Angel explains to Herschel that she never uses drugs because it would defile the temple that is her body. She also points out that adultery is sticks and stones. No, I’m not sure what that means either.

Arriving at the farm, Herschel is introduced to some of the farmhands, who offer him a job, and to Angel’s much less religious sister Ann, who offers him herself. Herschel fends off the determined girl for a day or two, but after being browbeaten into taking a puff from a drug-laced joint, he gives in to Ann’s oft-sampled charms. Don’t look too unkindly on Herschel, though. The narrator assures us it would take much LESS of a man than Herschel to resist a woman like Ann. No, I’m not sure what that means either.

Herschel also gives in to the suspect scientists employed by the farm and agrees to act as a guinea pig for their chemically enhanced turkey meat. Unfortunately, Herschel has informed no one that he has secretly been taking illegally obtained prescription medications to help deal with burns he received during the war. These opioids, when mixed with Ann’s drugs and the altered poultry, have a horrendous effect on Herschel’s physiology. After blackingout, our hero awakens to discover he now has the head of a giant turkey and an insatiable thirst for the blood of drug addicts.

Much of the rest of the movie is spent watching the turkey-fied Herschel stumble through dimly lit night scenes, gobbling at the moon until he happens upon some hapless redneck druggies and drains them dry. He also takes time to gruesomely avenge Ann’s near-rape after a friend trades her to a pusher for some drugs. Fed up with all the bloodshed, some of the other farm workers track Herschel down and serve him up for Thanksgiving dinner.

At which point Herschel awakens for real. It seems the whole turkey-head thing has been a hallucination caused by the dreadful drug cocktail circulating in his system. Shocked to his senses, Herschel calls on Angel to help him pray for the strength to overcome his addictions. His story ends with he and Ann heading off to the beach together to start a drug-free happily ever after. As for the narrator, he appears one final time to explain how Herschel’s story has been a warning against abusing one’s body with chemicals. He then succumbs to a coughing fit because he’s smoked at least two packs over the course of the film. The end.

It sounds like parody, but everything onscreen oozes sincerity. You see, by 1972, the year of Blood Freak’s release, the loose conglomeration of evangelical hippies and charismatic Christians known as the Jesus movement was at its peak. Jesus people were making feel good versions of the Son of God hits on both Broadway and the pop charts. It was only natural that those with access to film equipment would get around to making their own low budget exploitation films with an honest to goodness religious component. As for the drug angle, while not everyone in the Jesus movement was quick to forego their use, many did. Given Hawkes’ real life experiences, which were slightly altered and given to Herschel as a backstory, it’s not too hard to imagine he was all-in with the film’s anti-drug stance. Everything points to Blood Freak being an honest attempt by religious minded filmmakers to get people to just say no.

And why shouldn’t it be? As the Catechism notes, “The use of drugs inflicts very grave damage on human health and life. Their use, except on strictly therapeutic grounds, is a grave offense.” The statistics stated at this start of this article prove the Church right on this. As such, it’s only common sense to oppose drug use. As for those already hooked using prayer as part of their efforts to kick the habit, that turns out to be a good idea as well.

An article at World Religion News notes…

“There have been several studies showing the effectiveness of faith-based recovery. Teen Challenge, a Christian drug treatment program, has been proven in two separate studies to be more effective than its secular counterparts. A study of injection drug users had one-third of them credit religious practices in avoiding both use and risky practices that could lead to infection. Another study found people who attended faith-based programs were more optimistic about their chance for success. Interestingly, faith-based programs can sometimes also be more effective even when the patients are non-religious (but not anti-religion).”

So, yeah, it actually seems like Blood Freak was on to something. Drugs actually are bad for you and religion really can help you stop using them. As for the whole using drugs giving you a giant turkey head thing, though, I’m afraid I’ve got no facts to back that one up.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: JUG FACE

Long time readers know that when Halloween rolls around, I usually like to recommend a few religious themed genre movies that manage to avoid the standard trappings of exorcism and/or miserable priests on the verge of losing their faith. Alas, thanks to the art project I mentioned in my last post, I don’t have the time to do a full blown film festival this year. Still, its finished now, so I think I can squeeze in at least one holy horror. Past entries in this series have included The Wicker Man, Bless The Child, The Believers, Brimstone & Treacle, This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, and one of my favorite Christopher Lee movies, The Devil Rides Out. This year, I think we’ll go with the oddly titled Jug Face.

“A pregnant woman fights to avoid being sacrificed to the demonic beast that protects her backwoods village in this earthy tale of terror featuring Larry Fessenden and Sean Young. When the pit beast selects its victim, entranced potter Dawai (Sean Bridgers) creates a jug featuring the likeness of the chosen one. Ada (Lauren Ashley Carter) is pregnant with her brother's child when she discovers that she is next in line for sacrifice. Determined to give her child a fighting chance at life, Ada resists with every ounce of her being. Meanwhile, without a sacrifice, the dreaded creature will emerge to slaughter the entire terrified village.” ~ AllMovie Guide

“The Pit wants what it wants.”

“Whatever is, was long ago given its name, and human nature is known; mortals cannot contend in judgment with One who is stronger.” – Ecclesiastes 6:10, NABRE

If you’re looking for a scary movie to watch with the whole family this Halloween, you might want to give Jug Face a pass. Not because it’s excessively gory (there’s only a few stray intestines here or there) or overly frightening (I can’t recall a single jump scare), but simply because any film that begins with its teenage heroine willingly having incestuous sex with her brother out in the middle of the woods is probably not the one you’ll want to share with the kiddies.

Of course, you might be wondering why you’d want to watch Jug Face yourself given the distasteful subject matter of its opening. Well, because the fact that it is distasteful is central to the whole plot. You see, intercut with the young couple’s, er… coupling are scenes of a shallow pit full of muddy water and a potter sculpting something out of clay. The meaning of these images is quickly revealed as we learn that the teenaged Ada is something of a rebellious misfit in the isolated backwoods community in which she lives, primarily because she doesn’t want to follow the tenets of her people’s religion. On the surface this seems reasonable, seeing as how said religion basically involves worshiping the thing which lives in the aforementioned mud hole because it heals people and occasionally providing it with a human sacrifice so it won’t stop.

Reasonable or not, however, The Pit does not suffer dissent lightly. Therefore, it’s no surprise when the face on the jug being sculpted by the mesmerized Dawai in the opening scene is revealed to be none other than Ada herself. As luck would have it, though, Ada manages to stumble across the jug while Dawai is still in a trance, affording her the opportunity to hide it before anyone realizes she has been chosen. Relieved that she has avoided a smiting from her god, Ada moves on to other, more normal backwoods teenage concerns, things like how to avoid her arranged marriage to the local doofus and how to hide the fact that she’s pregnant with her brother’s child when she’s supposed to be a virgin.

The Pit doesn’t take kindly to Ada’s attempt to avoid her appointment with the ceremonial dagger, though, and begins punishing the rest of the community in grisly fashion. Hicks though they may be, it only takes one disemboweled corpse for the community to realize something fishy is gong on. From that point on, the rest of the movie involves Ada’s efforts to escape to the outside world before she can be identified as the fugitive jug face and dragged before The Pit to have her throat ritualistically slit from ear to ear.

Jug Face is writer/director Chad Crawford Kinkle’s freshmen effort and it definitely has its flaws (the lil’ dead boy who keeps popping up to talk to Ada has some particularly ineffective CGI), but for a hillbilly horror movie made on half a shoestring budget, it’s pretty effective in establishing a creepy atmosphere. Plus, Hinkle’s script has more on its mind than just being another creature feature (which is good since we never actually get to see the creature), as there’s quite a bit of critique of religion going on in the story. Now, if you’ve run across Jug Face on any horror blogs, the sense might be that the critique is mostly negative. Take these comments, for instance…

“There are few things more frightening than those unwavering in their beliefs, especially when it comes at the expense of their loved ones.” Brad McHargue, Dread Central

“At its roots, it's a relatable scenario that people in plenty of walks of life may face: gay teens who risk being disowned by their parents should they come out, family members shunned when they choose another religion, etc. Should you choose the family and friends who choose their faith and beliefs over you?” Stacie Ponder, Final Girl

“They deem this life normal with blind devotion to this creature and this could feasibly be a damning sub-textual commentary on how religions handicap followers from being able to think critically.” Dave J. Wilson, Cinematic Shocks

So yeah, based on musings such as those, one could be forgiven in thinking that Jug Face is an outright condemnation of all religion.

I’m not so sure, though. The thing is, even if such an interpretation was Kinkle’s intention, the ending of Jug Face plays a very mean trick on those who would hold such an opinion. You see, while a lot of folks are comparing Jug Face to The Wicker Man (the original, not the one with the damned bees), the movie actually has a lot more in common with Wes Craven’s Deadly Blessing. Both films are ostensibly anti-religion, but both have a denouement which seems to indicate that the religious loonies were right all along, that their tradition is best maintained and that their God cannot be denied.

The dirty truth of the narrative is that Ada brings her death sentence upon herself. Though the movie doesn’t explicitly state that Ada’s actions mark her as the next sacrifice, the juxtaposition in the opening montage between her incestuous dalliance and the making of the jug with her face on it strongly suggests that is the case. And then, of course, her actions to escape her ordained fate directly lead to harm for everybody else, thereby condemning her even more. This part might seem unfair to the uninitiated, but any good Catholic should be able to tell you there is a communal aspect to every sin. Even our most secret indiscretions harm others. That’s one of the reasons we have confession in the first place.

But nobody wants to hear that kind of stuff anymore. Really, when you come down to it, I believe a lot of the uncomfortable feelings which Jug Face provokes stem from the fact that while its sympathies lie with Ada, it doesn’t flinch from the notion that her sins have a price which must be paid. I imagine most viewers would feel a lot more comfortable seeing Ada receive her god’s mercy rather than its justice.

That’s the real horror of Jug Face, though. It’s pit god demands justice, but never evidences any sign that it can be merciful. It’s the knife and nothing else. And that’s why whatever religion Jug Face is critiquing, it’s a false one. Real life Christianity isn’t supposed to be like that (not when it’s done right, anyway), as it should offer both justice and mercy. Not that too many people want the justice part, mind you. “Today in broad circles, even among believers, an image has prevailed of a Jesus who demands nothing, never scolds, who accepts everyone and everything, who no longer does anything but affirm us.” wrote a pre-Pope Cardinal Ratzinger. “The Jesus of the Gospels is quite different, demanding, bold. The Jesus who makes everything okay for everyone is a phantom, a dream, not a real figure. The Jesus of the Gospels is certainly not convenient for us…. We must again set out on the way to this real Jesus.”

Jesus talked about Hell more than any figure in the Bible; he was all about justice. And yet, he’s also the one who died on the cross and willingly paid the price for our sins so we could all avoid Hell, so he pretty much had the mercy thing down as well. But let’s never forget that he performed that act of mercy precisely because the demands of justice had to be met, not shoved aside and ignored. We do ourselves no favor when we demand mercy, but deny that we ever did anything to require it in the first place. Even Ada learns that hard lesson in the end.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: THE BELIEVERS

“A police psychologist and his school-age son become embroiled in the machinations of a mysterious cult religion in this thriller from director John Schlesinger. After his wife is electrocuted in a freak accident, Dr. Cal Jamison (Martin Sheen) and his son, Chris (Harley Cross), move back to Manhattan, where Cal went to school. When not spending time with his son and surrogate extended family -- husband-and-wife anthropologists Kate (Elizabeth Wilson) and Dennis Maslow (Lee Richardson) -- Cal settles into his new job and romances his landlady, Jessica Halliday (Helen Shaver). Soon, though, a series of brutal murders of young children begins to take over Cal's life. Through the ravings of policeman Tom Lopez (Jimmy Smits), who believes the killers have supernatural power over him after stealing his badge, Cal learns of Santeria, a voodoo-like Latin American sect that mixes elements of Christianity and pagan mysticism. Although the religion turns out to have ties to some of the richest men in the city and even Cal's well-meaning maid seems to be a practitioner, he can't get any straight answers as to whether the cult is responsible for the murders. But after a sinister African shaman (Malick Bowens) places a curse on Jessica, Cal finally begins to understand the danger that faces him -- and his son. The Believers was very loosely adapted from Nicholas Conde's 1982 novel The Religion.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“God can’t save you, the Church can’t save you… you think science can stop them?” – doomed detective Tom Lopez

“Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

Alright, I know Halloween’s over, but why not squeeze in one last movie for our Holy Horrors For Halloween film festival anyway? A few titles come to mind, but how about we go with The Believers. Now John Schlesinger is a director better known for such non-genre classics as Midnight Cowboy, Marathon Man, and (snort) Honky Tonk Freeway (hey, it’s got its fans), so it should really come as no surprise that The Believers, his only real foray into horror, concentrates more on drama and action than it does on scares. A good chunk of the movie is taken up with Martin Sheen’s efforts to deal with the emotional turmoil his young son is going through after the loss of his mother while simultaneously trying to perform his job as a psychiatric adviser to the police as they investigate a string of ritualistic murders. So in many ways, it’s kind of Kramer vs Kramer vs Evil Witch Doctor.

Which is not to say that the movie doesn’t have its share of moments that get under your skin, because it does. Quite literally, in fact, in the case of the spider egg sac buried in someone’s cheek scene (Bleughhhh!!!). But despite the occasional lapses into standard gross out fair, Schlesinger definitely seems to prefer keeping his horror a bit more grounded in realism. Take, for instance, the accidental death by coffee maker (no, really) of Sheen’s wife that opens the movie. It’s completely mundane, with no apparent connection to any of the supernatural shenanigans that follow, and on the surface does little to advance the story except to tell you that Sheen’s wife is dead. Despite that, however, the bizarre randomness of her death makes it somehow more real, and it casts a shadow over the rest of the movie, one in which death is always right there waiting to claim anybody and everybody no matter where they are.

But be all that as it may, The Believers is still a 1980s horror movie, so there can be only so many attempts at subtlety before excess kicks in. And nowhere is that more apparent than in the movie’s treatment of Santeria, the polythe­istic belief system that arose during colonial times from an odd amalgam of the Yoruba religion of West Africa, a bit of Native American spirituality, and a healthy dose of some of the visual elements of Catholicism. You see, while the movie does have a quick blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene that explicitly states that the people sacrificing children are not true practitioners of Santeria, but rather a bunch of sociopaths dabbling in Brujería (the Spanish word for witchcraft), the movie still leaves viewers with the vague impression that the followers of Santeria are a bunch of creepy whack job child murderers.

And that’s unfortunate because, while Santeria does require the occasional sacrifice of animals (a practice protected by the Supreme Court by the way), there’s only ever been one recorded instance of human sacrifice involving the religion. This occurred in 1989 in Matamoros, Mexico, where a series of ritualistic murders was carried out by a gang of drug runners seeking supernatural protection for their activities. Once the people involved had been captured, investigators discovered that the leader of the gang had decided to create his own personal offshoot of Santeria inspired by a Hollywood made movie that he required each of his men to watch 14 times. That movie was, you guessed it, The Believers. And folks wonder why religious people get upset over their portrayals in movies.

Look, there are plenty of arguments against practices like Santeria without having to resort to dishonest representations to make them. To begin with, the Catechism expressly states that "all practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others - even if this were for the sake of restoring their health - are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion". Now to understand why it says this, you have to take notice that the Catechism places the practicing of magic under the same general heading of “You Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me” as it does all other forms of idolatry. Idolatry, as the 1912 Catholic Encyclopedia explains it, “etymologically denotes Divine worship given to an image, but its signification has been extended to all Divine worship given to anyone or anything but the true God.” So basically, anything we put before God, even basic human desires like security or financial well being, can become an idol.

So if you look at magic through the lens of idolatry, it’s easy to see that the casting of blessings and curses, divination, brewing potions, magical healings, all that “fire burn and cauldron bubble” kind of stuff, really stems from a desire for control over the events and people in our lives. In our consumer-oriented, appearance-obsessed, goal-driven world, it’s pretty easy to feel ignored and powerless. So if magic offers the chance for a little power over the present or a little heads up on what the future has in store, hey, why not go for it? I mean, why live by faith when you can supposedly gain luck, health, money, and (gasp) even love for the price of a few candles or the life of a chicken. Of course, practitioners of these arts often deny they engage in such activities in order to impose their will on events. They’ll claim something along the lines that they are simply releasing the divine energy inside themselves to interact in a harmonious way with the divine already present in nature or some such stuff. It’s not a bad spin, but it just doesn’t stand up to reason. You don’t brew up a love potion to induce harmony, you do it to try and force someone to love you, end of story.

When you get to the core of it, magic is just another form of idolatrous self-worship, and that’s the oldest sin in the book, isn’t it? In contrast, when Christians pray for something (healing, guidance, maybe even love, it happens) we’re not trying to manipulate some supernatural force into giving us what we want (not if we’re praying correctly, anyway). We’re asking for God’s will to be done. And if what we desire happens to coincide with God’s will, that’s great, but if doesn’t, well, then we hope and pray that God teaches us why it doesn’t and changes us so that we want what He wants. We leave the outcome to God. It’s much healthier for our souls that way. And it doesn’t require gutting any chickens or goats, which is always a plus in my book.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: BLESS THE CHILD

“In this supernatural horror story, Jenna (Angela Bettis), an unstable young woman, gives birth to a girl named Cody who proves to be autistic; unable to care for her properly, she turns Cody over to her sister, psychiatric nurse Maggie O'Connell (Kim Basinger). Maggie raises Cody as her own, but when the child (now played by Holliston Coleman) turns six, Jenna and her new husband Eric (Rufus Sewell) forcibly take back the child. Maggie believes Jenna and Eric are not fit parents, but when she takes the matter up with detective John Travis (Jimmy Smits), they discover that a number of children born on the same day as Cody have also been abducted recently. Even worse, it seems that Cody may now be in the hands of Satanists who, in accordance with Biblical prophecy, believe the little girl may be mankind's last line of defense against ultimate evil. Based on a novel by Cathy Cash Spellman, Bless the Child also stars Christina Ricci and Ian Holm.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“Jump, Cody, jump. If you believe in God, jump. And if not, you come to me. What do you believe in, Cody? My hand - it's here, you can see it. Satan rules it and it will protect you always... Or his hand? Is it there? Or isn't it? Will he catch you or not? If you believe, Cody, jump. JUMP!” – Erik Stark, Cult Leader

“Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 6and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: ‘He will command his angels concerning you’ and ‘with their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” – Matthew 4:5,6

You know, while there may be a whole lot of Catholics using contraceptives these days, Satan, whom you think would be a fan, doesn’t seem to be too fond of the things. Well, that’s if the movies are any indication, because it sure seems like every time Old Scratch makes a booty call on film, a kid shows up nine months later. Think about it. You’ve got Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, End Of Days, 666: The Child, The Calling… well, there’s more but you get the point. So it’s kind of a nice change of pace when you run across a flick like Bless The Child where instead of the birth of yet another mewling little antichrist you get a movie about the coming of a future saint. A saint whom… a bunch of Satanists want to try and corrupt into becoming the antichrist. Hey, it’s a movie, you gotta have some conflict, right?

Actually, despite the sarcasm, it’s that very spiritual conflict which earns this movie a spot on our holy horrors film festival. You see, the film adaptation of Bless The Child pretty much guts the ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ storyline of the original novel (Egyptian goddesses, all-powerful mystical amulets, globe hopping adventurers) and condenses the narrative down to a battle for one soul as filtered through the lens of a surprisingly Catholic worldview. And I’m not just talking about the visuals. After all, a movie like Night Of The Demons 2 is set in and around a Catholic school run by nuns, but nobody would ever accuse its story of taking place in a universe operating under the tenets of even the merest Christianity, much less full blown Catholicism. Bless The Child, on the other hand, does just that.

For example, in this movie God and the devil are quite real, but as pointed out in the Catechism’s section on fallen angels (CCC 391-395), Satan is not God’s equal, he’s just some punk trying to ruin things for everybody in the same way he ruined it for himself. He accomplishes this mainly in two ways. He has his demons (goofy CGI creations barely above SyFy standards) flit around and influence his followers (who are all hilariously Goths for some reason) to cause harm to others, and he tries to tempt the followers of God (even marginal ones like Kim Basinger’s lapsed Catholic & Jimmy Smits ex-seminarian) to abandon belief in God and make up their own rules. As for the other side, while there is some obligatory car chases and gunplay, the good guys mainly fight back against the forces of evil by relying on the intercession of the saints (the little girl actually receives a message directly from Mary), the help of angels (who tend to show up in the form of friendly strangers at just the right time), and lots and lots of prayer (the outcome of the entire final battle is actually affected by a group of nuns who aren’t even onsite, but rather back at the church on their knees in front of the tabernacle). Nothing major happens in the film to contradict long held Christian beliefs.

I know, right? Who would of thought Hollywood had it in them? Look, I’m not saying Bless The Child is any kind of classic (the pros at Metacritic called it one of the worst movies of the year while the user reviews put it at just above average), but just this once I’ll happily sit through stuff like underdeveloped characters (Why exactly did Smit’s character leave seminary? Why does Basinger’s character say she prefers a school that’s not too religious and yet send her niece to one run by habited nuns? In fact, how the heck did she even find a school run by habited nuns in the first place?) and nonsensical special effects (Why does a holy child have the power to spin plates with her mind? Are we in need of a patron saint of dishwashers or something?) just to finally, FINALLY, get a script written by people who paid attention during their religious education classes.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: RERELEASES

In our last post, we kicked off our October long holy horrors film festival with a look at the cult classic The Wicker Man. Coming up soon we’ll have even more never before reviewed films that mash up the heebie jeebies with religious content (while skipping the obligatory exorcisms and dispirited priests). But first, just for the completests out there, we thought we’d rerelease some previously reviewed films that covered pretty much the same territory.

THE SENTINEL

Sometimes the Church asks hard things of us. In The Sentinel, the task at hand just happens to involve a closetful of the best horrors hell has to offer. Who’s up for such a job? Why, supermodel Cristina Raines of course.

SOULKEEPER

Sadly, not everybody can be a supermodel. But as Soulkepper shows us, God can make pretty good use out of losers as well.

PRINCE OF DARKNESS

In fact, God can pretty much make use of anybody, even non-believers. Which is a good thing since in Prince Of Darkness the Church has been hiding a few faith-shaking facts that would make Dan Brown’s head spin. What are they? Best to watch the movie and find out for yourself, but we’d suggest studying a bit of quantum physics first.

INCUBUS

However, if you’d rather not brush up on your physics and would prefer a simple tale of good versus evil (or at least William Shatner versus a sweet young demon), then you might want to take in Incubus instead. The movie was filmed entirely in Esperanto, but don’t worry if you don’t know how to speak the language, none of the actors did either.

Well, that should be enough movies to keep you busy until the next new review. If anybody out there has some suggestions that fit the criteria for this film festival, be sure to pass them along. See you next time.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: THE WICKER MAN (1973)

So it’s Halloween season and you’re in the mood to settle in with some good religious themed genre movies, but you really can’t stand the thought of watching one more flick about exorcism or miserable priests on the verge of losing their faith? Well, not to worry, you’ve come to the right place, because all throughout October the B-Movie Catechism is throwing a holy horrors spookfest highlighting films with religious content, but nary an exorcism or dispirited priest in sight (well, maybe one or two, they’re kind of hard to avoid in movies). To get things started we have…

“A righteous police officer investigating the disappearance of a young girl comes into conflict with the unusual residents of a secluded Scottish isle in this unsettling, intelligent chiller. Brought to the island of Summerisle by an anonymous letter, Edward Woodward's constable is surprised to discover that the island's population suspiciously denies the missing girl's very existence. Even more shocking, at least to the traditionally pious law office, the island is ruled by a libertarian society organized around pagan rituals. Repelled by the open acceptance of sexuality, nature worship, and even witchcraft, the officer takes an antagonistic attitude towards the people and their leader, an eccentric but charming English lord (Christopher Lee). The officer's unease intensifies as he continues his investigation, slowly coming to fear that the girl's disappearance may be linked in a particularly horrifying manner to an upcoming public festival. Anthony Shaffer's meticulously crafted screenplay creates a thoroughly convincing alternative society, building tension through slow discovery and indirect suggestion and making the terrifying climax all the more effective. Performances are also perfectly tuned, with Woodward suitably priggish as the investigator and horror icon Lee delivering one of his most accomplished performances as Lord Summerisle. Little noticed during its original theatrical run due to studio edits and a limited release, the film's intelligence and uncanny tone has since attracted a devoted cult following.” – Rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“Animals are fine, but their acceptability is limited. A little child is even better, but not nearly as effective as the right kind of adult.” – Lord Summerisle

“You shall not offer any of your offspring for immolation to Molech, thus profaning the name of your God. I am the LORD.” – Leviticus 18:21

As you can tell by the use of the word ‘intelligent’ in the above synopsis, we are most definitely not talking about the laughable reimagining of The Wicker Man from 2006 in which the only frightening thing to be found was Nick Cage over-emoting while dressed in a bear suit. No, we’re talking about the 1973 original, a movie that for whatever reason is usually lumped into the supernatural horror category, but is actually more of a well written and acted mystery with a great soundtrack and a somewhat disturbing ending. I suppose it gets classified as horror because it stars Christopher Lee and deals with an entire community which has returned to a form of pagan worship, a thought that was probably still kind of creepy back in the early 70s. Of course, these days, you can find pagan wannabes in just about every town (usually in small shops selling ankhs, incense, and COEXIST bumper stickers), so that part of the movie isn’t as shocking as it likely once was. But that’s okay, because shocks aren’t really what The Wicker Man is all about anyway.

What really drives the narrative in the film, and therefore makes it perfect for kicking off our holy horrors film festival, is the conflict between the beliefs of the Christian policeman (possibly Catholic, probably conservative Anglican) and the pagan-esque townspeople. The script smartly plays everything evenhanded, simply presenting each person’s beliefs as they are with no editorial and leaving it up to the viewer to decide which side is preferable (at least until the climax smacks you in the face and makes the choice obvious to all but a few select lunatics). It’s true that the pagans are depicted as mostly genial while the Christian could use a bit more ‘joy of the Lord’, but you have to keep in mind that the Christian is the one alone in alien territory being confronting with things hostile to his belief system. For instance, when Sergeant Howie leaves the Green Man Inn to escape the lecherous song being sung about the landlord’s daughter (a sing-along which her own father is taking part in by the way), he runs smack dab into a park full of people in various states of copulation. Who can say that their own reaction to such a situation would be any less prudish than the Sergeant’s, so it’s kind of hard to cast any stones. Plus the townspeople spend a good deal of their time actively trying to get the Christian to act against his beliefs, not exactly what you’d call ecumenical behavior on their part. And finally there is the small fact that the villagers appear to be blatantly impeding Howie’s investigation into what could be a murder. Christian or not, that’s bound to cause you to act like you have a stick up your butt.

But forget all that stuff until your second viewing, because despite the excellent acting, the haunting soundtrack, and the interesting inter-faith back and forth, it is the conclusion of the film that usually sticks with most people the first time they watch The Wicker Man. And the inevitability of what happens in the final scene is bound to leave Christians with plenty of food for thought as the end credits roll, especially considering that, as noted above, people like the residents of Summerisle appear to be growing in number these days. Are we, like Sergeant Howie, prepared to uphold our beliefs under society’s (or at least government’s) slow but steady trickle away from traditional Christianity and towards a smorgasbord of neo-paganistic spiritualties and good old fashioned secularism? How far are we willing to take it? Bishop Richard J. Malone of Buffalo, in his recent homily given on the day of his installation, believes the time has come to embrace the concept of the modern martyr.

“A martyr is… in the most literal sense a witness.” Bishop Malone said, “And a witness is anyone whose discipleship is so authentic, so deep, so uncompromising, so credible that she or he is ready and willing, with God's grace, to give all, surrender all, to Christ and the truth he has revealed ... And to do so in the face of fear, loss, scorn, rejection, suffering, even death. It is total self-giving in response to Christ’s love poured out for us from the Cross.” The Bishop’s definition of martyrs is spot on, of course, but is he really asking all of us Christians to get ready to die? Does he think we live in China or Nigeria or someplace like that? Well, no, not yet. And he doesn’t think the streets are crawling with neo-pagans dressed in animal masks and women’s clothing looking to do nasty things to us either (for right now they’re content to use the Congress and the courts). Rather, His excellency is talking about a new form of martyrdom.

“For some, like [Saint] Lawrence” the Bishop continued, “the witness's surrender rises to a dramatic climax, like death on a grill. For most of us, though, our witness is a matter of persevering commitment to Christ and the Gospel, a daily dying to self, again and again, in large things and small. And this can be attempted in a wholesome, healthy and life-giving way only with profound hope, and even, paradoxically, real joy… We need the martyrs' conviction, courage, tenacity and selflessness--and hope-- to stand up in our increasingly relativistic society in defense of these truths and values so threatened in our time.” So what the Bishop is getting at is that while we may not have to worry about immolation or other such fates, if we stand by our convictions in the coming years, we may very well have to suffer through ridicule, isolation, loss of status, limited opportunities, and so on. Sure, it may not be as flashy as facing The Wicker Man, but hey, you take the martyrdom you’re given.