Below, renowned theater critic, professional crazy-person and rare-metals spokesperson Glenn Beck offers his review of "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark." His verdict: A RAVE! The finest show he's ever seen! What's more, Glenn has cracked the code of why the film is being so poorly recieved: The Liberal Media hates Spider-Man's "conservative message!" (summary of evidence for said message: The bad guys are scientists, and Spidey is hated by the press.) No, really...
In other news, Frank Miller was today distraught after having been informed he is no longer the world's most obnoxious re-interpreter of comic-book superheroes.
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