Shark Sandwich

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: MovieBob is not, nor has he ever been, an Atheist. That having been said...

MovieBob's Definition of a Flawed Thought-Process: Sincerely believing that a benevolent, all-powerful supernatural being has your best interests at heart and - in fact - "loves you" because he only allowed a Tiger Shark to devour a portion of your body, rather than the whole thing.


Below, the trailer for what already looks like a top-contender for one of 2011's worst movies, "Soul Surfer" - the "inspirational true story" of that teenage girl who kept on surfing through the Power of hard work, modern medical science and positive thinking  Jesus after a Tiger Shark munched her arm off.



Good God (irony!) does that look terrible - it's like "The Blind Side," "Jaws: The Revenge" and Kirk Cameron gangbanged "127 Hours," and 9 months later "someone" left THIS movie in a basket on somebody's doorstep. I can't remember the last time I felt as bad for actors as I do for Dennis Quaid and Helen Hunt for having to be in this.

Anyway, a minor kerfluffle has erupted over this - apparently the real-life folks depicted in the film were rather angry to learn that one of the producers had opted to digitally remove the words "Holy Bible" from the cover of a copy of "The Holy Bible" in one scene, on the logic that this would help the film have boxoffice appeal beyond the ghetto of the Christian Film market.

First off: All of my requisite snark about the basic premise and message of the thing aside... that's bullshit, a dick-move, and they had every right to be pissed off. If you want to make the movie about these people's story, and their sincerely-held religious beliefs are a vital part of that story to them, then you're obligated to present it as such. If you want the movie to be about fighting back from injury through some other inspiration, change the names. But if you want that golden "true story" marketing-hook... you've gotta play ball, simple as that.

Secondly... what the HELL sense does that even make? Show of hands: Even without any explicit reference to such, can anyone look at this trailer and NOT immediately recognize that it's a big steaming pile of "Overcoming Adversity Through Faith" anyway? I mean... if you took every mention of the word "Force" out of any given "Star Wars" trailer, everyone would still know it was about "Star Wars."