NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

Looking for something to do in between trick or treating and celebrating All Saints Day? Well, why not catch up on some Halloween reading? After all, this is the time of year all the big boys and girls blog about the same stuff we do here all year round. Best to take advantage of it while you can.

First up, Taylor Marshall from the Caterbury Tales offers up his Top Ten Suggestions to Have a Catholic Halloween. I couldn’t help but chuckle when he suggests refraining from passing out religious literature instead of candy. Methinks perhaps that Mr. Marshall once fell victim to those well meaning, but ultimately insane, Chick tracts just as I once did. You can be sure that happened to Fr. Joe from Southern Fried Catholicism, who while discussing the surprisingly holy origins of Halloween, recollects the popular ‘Judgment Houses” many protestant churches put up in the 90s. But you know, rather than ponder too long on what some nut jobs gave done the holiday, why not stop by The Crescat’s place and consider The Virtue of Halloween instead (it’s worth it just to see the homemade costume of KISS’ Paul Stanley she wore as a child). But whatever way you choose to approach Halloween bemoans Danielle Bean at Crisis Magazine, please don’t mommify it! “The Church doesn’t ignore pain, fear, evil, and death.” she notes, and neither should we.

Now as you might expect us to around these parts, we spend the evening watching scary movies. And we’re hardly the only ones. Even a non-horror fan like Red Cardigan from And Sometimes Tea manages to step out of her comfort zone during this time of year and surprisingly finds some enjoyment in The Walking Dead (at least the parts she keeps her eyes open during). It’s all enough to make Paul Jarzembowski from Spirtual Popcorn wonder just what can scary movies teach us? There’s something to them, that’s for sure. Take for instance Fr. Dennis Kriz, OSM, who on his personal blog manages to find some Marian Imagery in the Terminator, or the Curt Jester, who while musing on those bygone days before his conversion, questions to what extent his atheism led to his love of movies involving horror and supernaturalism.

Well, it’s time to carve some Jack O’ Lanterns and get the boy suited up for trick or treating, so I’ll be going now. If you still need some more reading material, The Happy Catholic has some good links of her own worth exploring this All Hallows Eve. Stay safe everyone, hope none of you get a Chick tract this year. Or any Mary Janes. Man I always hated getting a bag full of those when I was a kid.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Many of you have already seen this, but just in case: here's what happens when Suda51 (creator of "No More Heroes" and "Killer 7") and James Gunn (writer/director of "Sliver" and "Super") team up to make a video game that resembles an anime-infused parody of "Buffy"...



I think what makes this perfect is the rainbow/sprinkle stuff - like it's rubbing the absurdity of the "hot chick monster slayer" fetish in the faces of it's usual intended audience.

Your Useless Batman News of The Day

I don't know if there's a "scoop" more pointless in the world of movies than the "official synopsis" of a movie whose premise is already know to everyone; but studios keep doing them and we keep acting like it's a big deal.

Comicbookmovie claims to have the "official synopsis" of "The Dark Knight Rises," in any case. No surprises, reveals or anything like that; though it's interesting that Batman and Bane are referred to as "Batman" and "Bane" while Catwoman is simply called "the enigmatic Selina Kyle." As ever, I'd be surprised if we ever hear the word "Catwoman" spoken in the film other than as a side joke about how 'silly' it would be.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN V

As long time readers know, it’s just wouldn’t be Halloween around here if we didn’t offer our yearly cheap and easy to make costume suggestions based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months. We do this to help out those folks who might feel that the fare found on store shelves is either too demonic to wear to their local Protestant fall festival, or too risqué to walk around in at their Catholic parish’s Halloween carnival. Of course, we realize that what is and is not considered risqué changes with the times. If you don’t want to take our word for it, just check out Business Insider’s history of slutty Halloween costumes (because nothing says business reporting like an article about slutty Halloween costumes).

Costumed cuties exposing their shoulders in 1930. Harlots.

Still, even with changing social mores, we think the costumes we have to offer this year will meet just about anyone’s minimum standards of decency. Not standards of good taste or intelligence, mind you, just decency.

First up, we have what has to be the infinite loop of Halloween costumes, SAM SMITH from ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES.  In the movie, Sam was a master of disguise who was so good that he even managed to infiltrate the enemy camp by masquerading as a tomato. So, basically, if you choose this costume, you would be disguising yourself as a master of disguise disguised as a tomato. Got that? And all you would need is one of those Dept of Corrections orange trash bags, some leaves, and a pair of green leggings. And what better costume for Christians as we’re often called to take on many guises in order to get God’s work done on this world of ours? As St. Paul wrote in I Corinthians, “To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law—though I myself am not under the law—to win over those under the law. To those outside the law I became like one outside the law—though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ—to win over those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it… So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Avoid giving offense, whether to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in every way, not seeking my own benefit but that of the many, that they may be saved.”

If being a tomato just doesn’t grab you but you still like the costume within a costume idea, then how about giving PAUL as CTHULHU from THE LAST LOVECRAFT: RELIC OF CTHULHU a try. Just print out and laminate the head of H.P.’s most popular elder squid thingy, grab some old swimming pool noodles to use as tentacles, and you’re ready for trick or treating. The neat thing about Paul is that while he still lives in his mother’s basement, is totally useless in a fight, and probably smells like the dollar menu at McDonald’s, the two main characters in the movie can’t accomplish a thing without him because he’s the only one who took time to memorize Lovecraft’s works so he’d know what to do if Shoggoth showed up. Christians should keep that in mind. As Fr. John Hardon wrote, “The seed of God's revealed truth has been sown into our hearts at Baptism. But that was only the beginning. We must do everything in our power to grasp the meaning of what we believe. Otherwise the devil will come along and steal the faith from our hearts. There has never been a substitute for understanding our Christian religion. There is no substitute today. But now, this understanding is absolutely imperative. The world in which we live is hell-bent on stealing from our hearts what we believe. That is why the Catechism of the Catholic Church is such a providential Godsend.” The Catechism is free online. Read it.

You know, our first two costumes are fine for individuals, but since this is a Catholic site, we recognize the possibility that some of our readers might have a whole brood of younglings to deck out for Halloween. If that’s the case for you, then the CHILDREN OF THE CORN should be a no-brainer. And the best thing is, If your family dresses very conservatively, you may already have all the clothing you will need to outfit the little buggers. If not, no biggie, just go borrow some from the local Pentecostals. Then all you need to do is pick up a few ears of corn from the grocery store, hand the kids some old gardening tools, and you’re ready to go. Now to get the most enjoyment you can out of these costumes, be sure to find the nearest neighborhood where there’s a large concentration of new atheists and send your mob of kids marching down the middle of the street waving their corn and utensils about while yelling “Outsiders!!!” at the top of their lungs. Hey, this is what cowards like Richard Dawkins are telling everybody you’re training your kids to be like anyway, you may as well have some fun with it.

Speaking of being hated, we come finally to what may be the most horrifying costume we’ve ever suggested. Yes, it’s NUKIE from, what else, NUKIE. Now, to wear this costume you will have to go through the trouble of making a paper mache head that looks a bit like Yoda after he fell into a wood chipper. But after that, all you’ll need to do is go roll around in some mud (or if you’re brave, a septic tank) and you’re good to go, although for the full effect, you might want to rub some Vaseline under your nose so it looks like you have an unending nasal drip. Whatever options you choose, the end result is guaranteed to make you the most hated trick or treater on the block. There’s a good chance any home on whose door you knock will actually egg you. If that happens, just consider it good training for the Christian life. Remember, Jesus said that “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” So we weren’t exactly promised a life of endless yucks as followers of Christ. And if you know your Church history, people like Dawkins are nothing new. There will always be someone who hates us for our beliefs. But if we’ve had a true conversion in our hearts, and we bolster that faith with a continued study of the reasoning behind it, we can weather the hatred and be all of the things others need us to be as God deals with them. At last that’s how it works on our good days.

And that’s about it for this year. So everybody suit up, get out there, and have some fun. Happy Happy Halloween everyone!

Escape to the Movies: "In Time"

It's good.

"Intermission" is about "Anonymous," which is kind of excellent and shouldn't be missed if it's limited release plays near you.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : In Time

Stooges Revealed

It's worrisome that they look like dead-ringers for the real thing; because it suggests they went for "looks like" over "can do the bits."

Trespass

Big Picture: "Demon Seed"

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Demon Seed

Let's See More of THIS, Huh?

Below, the trailer for the downloadable XBLA/PSN title "War of The Worlds" - which adapts H.G. Wells' original version of the story into the format of a 2D sidescoller leaning heavily on the "alien lights in pitch-darkness" visual scheme. Yes, please.

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: NUKIE

Nukie (1993)

• Ronald France,
• Glynis Johns,
• Steve Railsback

A benevolent alien arrives in a sparcely populated African country to search for his brother who has been captured by a secret U.S. government agency. Two African boys help "Nukie" trek across Africa as U.S. government agents seek to head him off and prevent what they believe to be an extraterrestrial invasion.

12% want to see it

PG, 1 hr. 39 min.

Director: Sian Odendal, Sias Odendal

 

October 23, 2011: Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year A)

When the weekly readings start off with the words “Thus says the LORD: You shall not molest or oppress an alien, for you were once aliens yourselves in the land of Egypt,” you can pretty much guess the subject matter of the movie I’ve got in store for you this week. But if you’re expecting Alien Nation or District 9, well, you just haven’t been reading this blog long enough. Oh no, I’ve got something much, much more painful in store. What I’ve got for you is Nukie… and it’s possible you may never forgive me for that.

Nukie is the touching story of two small aliens that kind of look like ET (if ET resembled a monkey sculpted from human excrement) who become stranded on Earth and struggle to reunite. This is problematic because Miko has been captured by the evil American Space Foundation (an organization I strongly suspect is modeled after NASA, mostly because every time they show these guys getting out of cars, the doors have the NASA logo stenciled on them), while Nukie gets stuck in the middle of nowhere Africa hiding from a bunch of ritual sacrifice practicing tribesman, a sympathetic nun (Glynis Johns, hoping nobody remembers her as the mother from Mary Poppins), and a NASA Space Foundation helicopter pilot (Steve Railsback, hoping somebody, anybody, will remember him as Charles Manson from Helter Skelter).

On the surface that might sound like a decent setup for an entertaining movie, but trust me, it’s not. For those foolhardy enough to watch it (go ahead, I dare you, it’s on YouTube), Nukie will hurt you. The pain starts right away as Miko is tortured by the NASA Space Foundation scientists while he continuously screeches out NUUUUUKIEEEEE!!! again and again and again and… you get the point. Anyway, simultaneously, Nukie is plodding all over Africa incessantly screeching out MIIIIIKOOOO!!! again and again and again and… all the while failing to wipe his constantly running nose, not even once. (I’m serious. Picture a walking turd with a sinus infection. That’s Nukie.) About all Nukie does manage to accomplish is to talk to some baboons (who talk back!), terrorize a local tribe by causing an earthquake, and spend way too much screen time calling out for the ground to swallow him up and end his miserable lonely existence (which, at one point, it does). It’s all made completely unbearable by the fact that five minutes into the film, you realize absolutely nothing that happens during the course of the  movie is necessary because the aliens have the power to turn into balls of energy and fly off into space anytime they want to. But apparently that slipped their minds until the very end of the movie, because neither alien ever does it. Instead, Nukie just teleports around the jungle until the natives reject Christianity (no, really) while Miko uses his powers to escape his prison cell, only to sit in the very next room teaching the NASA Space Foundation mainframe how to have feelings. I suppose it just goes to show that if you’re going to assume the physical form of feces, you’re likely to end up with s@#% for brains.

To make matters even worse (if that’s possible by this point), Nukie leaves you with the distinct impression that it’s trying really hard to say something serious about the United States. I don’t know quite what, but… something. You see, all Nukie knows about Miko’s location is that he is being held captive by America, whom both Nukie and the two tribal children he has befriended mistakenly believe to be an individual person. So basically Nukie spends the length of the film looking for this guy America so he can find out why he’s treating everyone so badly. It all leads to a really bizarre scene near the end of the film where we see Nukie writhing around on the ground after being riddled with harpoons from a spear gun and one of the children curled up dying from a snake bite (wow, they just don’t make kids movies like they used to). Faced with all this carnage, the remaining child shakes his fists at the sky and bellows out, “America! AMERRRRICA! Help us!” (It’s true. May I be struck with leprosy if I’m making this stuff up.)

Look, I’m not even gonna pretend to know what the South African filmmakers had in mind with all this. Is it anti-American? Pro-American? Do they even know where America is? Whatever the specifics, the broad insinuation appears to be that we Americans don’t treat those from outside our country as best as we could, not even when they literally land right on our doorsteps. Now, how much truth there is in that criticism is arguable, but in general, Christians should view any degree of antagonism towards “aliens” as a thing to be avoided. The Catechism explains that “The more prosperous nations are obliged, to the extent they are able, to welcome the foreigner in search of the security and the means of livelihood which he cannot find in his country of origin. Public authorities should see to it that the natural right is respected that places a guest under the protection of those who receive him. Political authorities, for the sake of the common good for which they are responsible, may make the exercise of the right to immigrate subject to various juridical conditions, especially with regard to the immigrants' duties toward their country of adoption. Immigrants are obliged to respect with gratitude the material and spiritual heritage of the country that receives them, to obey its laws and to assist in carrying civic burdens.”

Like with many areas involving Catholic social teaching, what the Catechism does here is lay out a guiding philosophy for immigration issues, but leaves the specific methodology of carrying it out to our individual consciences. We can legitimately support or oppose various legislations, even taking an opposite side of the argument from the guy sitting next to us in the pew, as long as our solution adheres to the general ethical guidelines regarding the fundamental rights of the human person and charity towards strangers. For instance, the USCCB is currently throwing its weight behind the DREAM act legislation and makes their case for supporting it at this site. And since the bishops do represent the teaching authority of the Church, it’s not a bad idea to check out what they have to say about the issue. But since the DREAM act is a specific legislation, individual Catholics can still oppose it in good conscience as long as they are doing so for the consideration of the “common good for which they are responsible” and not just out of fear or hatred for the “aliens” it is meant to benefit.

So, which way should you feel about something like the DREAM act? HA! Like you’re really gonna get an answer here. Immigration is one of those issues that requires a lot of thought, and God (no matter what the current crop of uninformed atheists would have us believe) expects us to put the big brains He gave us to the task. Always keeping the guidelines above in the forefront, consider the issue, pray about it, and make up your mind.

As for Nukie though, just take my word for it and avoid the wretched thing. It’s just what Nukie looks like, a big heaping pile of crap.

"Assassin's Creed" Movie Imminent

Sony and Ubisoft's movie division (STILL kind of amazed that of all the game companies to start their own full-on movie arm Ubisoft was first out of the gate...) have reportedly registered a buttload of domain-names that all point to the all-but-innevitable announcement of a movie based on the "Assassin's Creed" video games.

For a change, THIS is a "recent" game series I'm actually pretty interested in seeing moved up to the big screen. It's got a really interesting setup (spoilers for anyone who hasn't played the games after the jump) a setting that isn't done to death in either medium and a nifty visual aesthetic. The big question is... how much of this actually gets filmmed?
SPOILERS for the games from here on out!

See, the "everybody knew" (from the advertising) part of the first Assassin's Creed was that you were playing as a Crusades-era assassin; which is interesting enough... but right off the bat the actual game threw you a wicked curveball - the story actually STARTS in the present/near-future, where an ordinary guy is being held prisoner by a secret organization who're using Matrix-esque technology to dig around in his brain for "genetic memories" relating to a centuries-spanning conspiracy that involved his ancestor; the medieval assassin you play as in the game-proper.

Along with just being COOL, this structure also served as an ingenious handwave for the story to leap around from mission to mission and eventually from time-to-time - the sequel invovled a different ancestor and was set in Rennaissance Italy. (It was also helpfully in getting me to maintain a state of "give-a-shit;" as I tire of "go here, fetch this, go there, kill this guy" open-world gameplay rather quickly on it's own.

So, here's my questions: Do they keep the same "flashback" structure? Do they start in the Crusades or later? Both? Will the really, really, REALLY big "wait... WHAT!?" business from the end of the sequel get dropped much earlier? One thing that damn near goes without saying - the same actor will almost-certainly be cast as "present guy" and "past guy," and I'd be unsurprised to see the film do A LOT more skipping between past and present - as it is, the game story (yet unfinished) seems to be leading toward Desmond ("present guy") taking up his family legacy in a modern context... maybe the film will get there right off the bat - or at least for the finale?

THE B-LIST: QUESTIONABLE MUSICAL MOMENTS #9 – WILLIAM SHATNER PERFORMS BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

Because some site is bound to inflict this on you anyway, it may as well be here in our dark little corner of the blogosphere where it belongs…

Well, at least now we know what happens when geeks drop acid. I know that picking just one weird thing out of this freak show seems futile, but there is one extra confusing moment in the video for me. At about the 3:40 mark, the correct lyric should read “Bismillah!”, but the onscreen subtitles declare “It’s my law!” Why?

According to Wikipedia (I know, I know, but it’s what I had on short notice), “Basmala, or Bismillah, is an Arabic noun used as a collective name for the whole of the recurring Islamic phrase bismillahi r-rahmani r-rahimi. It is sometimes translated as ‘In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful’. This phrase is recited before each sura, except for the ninth; according to others it constitutes the first verse of 113 suras/chapters of the Qur'an, and is used in a number of contexts by Muslims. It is recited several times as part of daily prayers, and is usually the first phrase in the preamble of the constitutions of Islamic countries. It also forms the start of many dedication inscriptions on gravestones, buildings, and works of art, which go on to name the deceased or the donor.”

So, considering Bismallah is a Muslim exclamation, were the lyrics changed so as not to offend Muslims? Doubtful. I sure don’t remember anyone declaring a fatwa on Freddie Mercury when he first sang the song all those years ago. So it could just be that Shatner’s getting old and couldn’t understand the words Queen was singing in the first place. Or maybe (and this is a long shot) the Jewish Shatner is uncomfortable using a Muslim term. Now, I doubt that’s the case, but wouldn’t it be something if it were? After all, people can get a little wonky when you start bringing religions together.

If you want to experience just how wonky, try reading paragraph 841 of the Catechism to one of your more stringent evangelical friends. That’s the passage which says, “The Church's relationship with the Muslims: ‘The plan of salvation also includes those who acknowledge the Creator, in the first place amongst whom are the Muslims; these profess to hold the faith of Abraham, and together with us they adore the one, merciful God, mankind's judge on the last day.’ Now I can’t tell you how many protestant websites there are which takes this paragraph as proof, PROOF I TELL YOU, that Catholics are not Christians. Because after all, Muslims worship God (Allah) but don’t recognize the trinity, so if the Church teaches that Catholics and Muslims worship the same God, then Catholics must worship God (Allah) and not recognize the trinity, so Catholics must not worship the same God as other Christians, ergo Catholics are not Christians. And they put this kind of stuff on their websites with a straight face.

Sigh. Sometimes, there’s just nothing so dangerous as a Christian with a highlighter. Paragraph 841 of the Catechism by itself does read a little iffy when taken by itself. But if you keep reading, paragraphs 846 and 847 not only leave little doubt where the Church stands on Jesus, but puts paragraph 841 in its proper context. "All salvation comes from Christ the Head through the Church which is His Body....They could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse either to enter it or to remain in it." So you see, paragraph 841 is NOT ecumenism gone wild. By itself it just recognizes that Islam (not without errors) stems from the same Abrahamic tradition that the Church herself does. And when combined with the surrounding paragraphs, it hints at the way God may save folks who are not “fully incorporated into the society of the Church” because they never knew “that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary".

All this whole section of the Catechism basically does is recognize that since Islam helps foster a belief in one God, Muslims who are truly and innocently ignorant of Christ (another post for another time) can still be saved by the singular grace of God. This whole notion of “baptism of desire” goes all the way back to the Bible. It’s what St. Paul was getting at when he stood up at Areopagus in Acts 17 and said, “You Athenians, I see that in every respect you are very religious. For as I walked around looking carefully at your shrines, I even discovered an altar inscribed, ‘To an Unknown God.’ What therefore you unknowingly worship, I proclaim to you.” So really, if you’ve got a problem with paragraph 841 of the Catechism, you’ve got a problem with the teachings of the apostles. All I can say to that is put down the highlighter and back away from it. Everyone will be better off in the end.

Now, with that cleared up… can anyone please tell me what’s going on in this Shatner video? Please?

WRITTEN REVIEW: The Rite

By CORY CARR

An interesting thing happened the other day at work [I'm an electrician for those who don't know me personally]. The woman who's house I was working at kept offering me food thought the day. First it was sweet tea, then greek burgers [which don't get offered

CONTINUE READING

Disney's "Sin City"

I feel like the "moment" has passed for a "Sin City" sequel. The gimmick more-or-less got well covered by the first one, and Frank Miller's innability to avoid being a giant cockbag has tainted pretty-much everything associated with him - even stuff from before 9/11 broke his brain.

That said, THIS is made of win.

Escape to the Movies: "Green Lantern: Extended Cut"

Because Paranormal Activity 3 and Three Musketeers weren't shown to critics, that's why.

Intermission is about animal movies.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Green Lantern: Extended Cut

Sleeping Beauty

Fuzz Buzz Harshed

Walt Disney's obsession with maintaining the pixie-sprinkled "Magic Kingdom" facade of his corporate empire - up to and including forbidding cartoon voice-actors to publically admit that the characters weren't "real" for fear of angering children - is the stuff of legends. His methods may have been extreme, but they were more than mere eccentricity. Walt understood, like few before or after him, the power of having an audience see the purveyor of their entertainment as a figure of innate, intangible goodness as opposed to "just" a business.

Someone else who understood that - albeit while operating on a smaller plane and aesthetic - was Jim Henson. If you've ever seen the behind-the-scenes materials associated with his Muppet productions, you understand how hard he and his people worked to make their intricate artistry look like an effortless, hippie-infused "groove."

One imagines if either man were reading these headlines, they'd be instantly reminded WHY they so carefully managed public image. Apparently there's been serious bad-blood in the production of the new "Muppets" movie; and it's just spilled out into the open. That spinning sound you hear is Disney P.R. reps, getting ready to justify the existance of their jobs...

The big "hook" of the new Muppet movie is that it's an in-narrative relaunch of the franchise: The Muppets have broken up at some point in the last decade (the last feature movie was in 1999) and are being reunited "Blues Brothers" by a starstruck fan.

Jason Segel, who plays the human sidekick to said fan (a new Muppet named Walt. Heh) and real-life Muppet fanatic, is the driving force behind the new film, which is also the first to be set up entirely by new the Muppet owners at Disney. That's ALL new territory for the remaining members of the "original" Henson Muppet-crew, who'd previously done everything including writing and directing "in-house, so there were always going to be bumps to be worked out. Unfortunately, it sounds as though "worked out" didn't fully happen.

In an interview two days ago with Metro, Muppet O.G. Frank Oz dropped a bombshell: The reason he's not back as the voice of Miss Piggy in this new film is that he didn't like the script... and that he felt it "disrespected the characters." That's nightmare-scenario stuff for Muppet diehards, who've feared that Disney would overhaul the signature Hensonian soul out of the characters since they were first purchased. The Hollywood Reporter followed up on the story (and nicely summarized the difficulty the franchise has suffered over the last decade) and uncovered that a substantial number of the longtime Muppet crew felt the same way - up to an including wanting to take their names off the film.

So... yeah. So much for the "happy happy fan film" vibe this had been selling itself on so far. THIS would be why guys like Disney and Henson wanted to keep corporate shenanigans as far in the background of their projects as possible.

On the one hand, one wants to "side" with the originators on things like these. On the other hand, the issues raised (risque jokes, altered characterization) sound more than a little like overprotectiveness and resistance to new blood. Deep as my respect for Team Henson runs, it can't really be ignored that the franchise was on a long downswing after "Muppet Christmas Carol;" and the last "in-house" feature "Muppets From Space" just wasn't all that good. Also, some extra information in the THR article - namely that Oz was actually developing a Muppet-reboot of his own that got sidelined in favor of "it-guy" Segel's pitch - casts some of the reaction in a different light altogether.

Batman in Nanking

Hat-tip to Hollywood-Elsewhere

Below, the trailer for Zhang Yimou's "Flowers of War," innevitably to be less-pleasantly known as "The Rape of Nanking Movie." The most expensively-mounted film in mainland Chinese history; it's a historical epic about the Japanese occupation of Nanking during the Second Sino-Japanese War in 1937. The main story focuses on a group of Chinese prostitutes who volunteer to swap-places with schoolgirls who've been selected to be sex slaves for the occupying Japanese army. Christian Bale has the ostensible lead as a Priest organizing refugee support efforts and, of perhaps equal importance, existing as an English-speaking white guy to help hold the hands of Western audiences potentially frightened away by all the funny words and dark faces...



Seriously, this looks REALLY good and the material has never really been done this big and attention-getting before... but it's JUST a little bit depressing that even a Chinese-made film from Yimou feels the need to do the Edward Zwick "White hero" thing - yes, even if the character in question was a real guy.

In any case, "Flowers" is now officially China's entry in this year's "Best Foriegn Language" Oscar category, though it won't open in China until December with a U.S. run yet to be determined.

STILL VOICES #007

Big Picture: "Night of the Lepus"

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Night of the Lepus

JJ Abrams to Produce "Micronauts" for Paramount

A part of me wants to automatically give the benefit of the doubt to movies based on toys just to counterbalance all the critics/commentators who still act like the very IDEA of these projects is an affront to the medium itself. There's no reason you can't make a decent movie out of a toy franchise with the right people working on it; even if that hasn't happened much so far.

In any case, Paramount and Hasbro - still swimming in cash from their awful yet awfully-successful "Transformers" movies - have tapped JJ Abrams and the hot writing due from "Zombieland" to put together a feature/franchise based on the late-70s/early-80s "MICRONAUTS" figure line. I'm indifferent to Abrams at this point, but the Zombieland dudes are good people.

This is where this story get's kind of interesting, in a "convoluted corporate politics of Hollywood way..

Okay, so... "Micronauts" actually date from before the idea of assinging some semblance of a storyline to toy lines; so initially they didn't really have a "universe" beyond character names and assingments of good/bad. The line was actually the U.S. import of Japan's mega-popular "Microman" figures (themselves a spinoff of a Japanese robot-version of the G.I. Joe molds toy history is a fucking RABBIT HOLE!) and the big hook was that they were modular; i.e. you could pop some of the arms/legs/etc off the figures and their vehicles and swap them around in new combinations. Some of said vehicles actually got repurposed into some of the G1 Transformers (RABBIT HOLE!!!)



The line got a story when Marvel Comics writer Bill Mantlo saw his son playing with them and convinced his bosses to license the rights. It was Mantlo who created (with some inspiration from the original Microman backstory) the characterizations for the Micronauts; along with a pretty keen story gimmick: The Micronauts themselves hail from a "Microverse," and when their epic Star Wars-esque struggle spills over to Earth they find themselves to be the proportionate size of the "Micronauts" action figures. That's kind of brilliant, really, and would still be a killer movie hook for today - hey kids, your toys ARE The Micronauts!!!

BUT that's probably not the story (at least not exactly) that the new Hasbro/Paramount film will be working from, even if it wanted to - see, most of the original-to-the-comics stuff that Mantlo came up with is still owned by Marvel, which in turn is owned by rival movie studio Disney. In fact, several of the Mantlo-reworked characters are still kicking around the Marvel Universe, albeit with any official Micronauts branding discreetly stripped away. At least one of them is actually supposed to be part of the new "Gaurdians of The Galaxy;" which Marvel is angling to be a movie of it's own down the line.

So... eventually someone takes another whack at He-Man, right? That happens before this all topples over?

OH, THE HORROR

Is everybody else as excited as I am? Tonight’s the night! It’s the return of everybody’s favorite primetime gut munching zombie show… THE WALKEN DEAD!

What? Oh. It’s The Walking Dead? Well, that’s pretty good, too, even if it could use more cowbell.

Man, we love October around here. It’s that time of the year when we hardly have to crank up the DVD player because all the channels are so jam packed with horror and sci-fi goodies. It’s also the time of year somebody has to remind the world that not only can Christians watch a lot of this stuff (a lot, not all), but that we might just have a better grasp of the subject material. This year it’s author Brian Godawa who’s taking a shot at it over at Speculative Faith with his series of post on An Apologetic Of Horror. Take a peak if you have the time. After the show, of course.

Wise Guys

Pictured: The teaser poster for the Farrelly Bros. upcoming "Three Stooges" update.

Y'know, it's not so much that I'm amazed that the Farrelly's and a succession of studios and producers somehow decided it was a good idea to make NOT a movie "about" the actual Three Stooges but instead a modern-day comedy with new actors (Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopolous) playing new incarnations of Moe, Larry and Curly. That's all perfectly believable Hollywood behavior at this point.

No, what's amazing is that this isn't a "new" project... the Farrelly's have been trying to make this movie - which NOBODY thinks is a good idea and ever FEWER people want to see - for over a decade now. I mean... Wow.

The film itself is due to be dumped in theaters April 4th. Below the jump, my favorite bit from the ACTUAL Stooges, "A Plumbing We Will Go" (1940)...

The New Daughter

Father of Invention

Escape to the Movies: "The Thing (2011)"

It sucks. But you knew that.

"Intermission" breaks down the "Avengers" trailer.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Thing

84th Academy Awards Documentary Short Subject Shortlist

Today the Academy announced the eight (8) short docs that were selected from 35 eligible entries. These are the films.

The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement, Gail Dolgin and Robin Fryday, USA
God is the Bigger Elvis (Produced by Documentress Films)
In Tahrir Square: 18 Days of Egypt’s Unfinished Revolution, Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill, USA and Egypt
Incident in New Baghdad, James Spione, USA
Pipe Dreams, Leslie Iwerks, USA
Saving Face, Peter James Iengo, USA
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom, Lucy Walker (check trailer here), UK and USA
Witness (produced by Buche)

As we all know by now the Academy Awards nominations will be announced live on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 and the Award Ceremony will be on Sunday, February 26, 2012. To read the press release go here.

The subject of Lucy Walker's short doc (remember great Waste Land) is not one to enjoy but from trailer short has become must be seen for me, hope makes the five nominated.

2012 Oscar Foreign Language Film Submissions - Final

These are the sixty-three (63) films that will compete for the Best Foreign Language film in the 84th Academy Awards.

Albania: Amnistia  (Amnesty), Bujar Alimani
Argentina: Aballay, el hombre sin miedo (Aballay), Fernando Spiner
Austria: Atmen (Breathing), Karl Markovics
Belgium: Rundskop (Bullhead), Michaël R. Roskam
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Belvedere, Ahmed Imamović
Brazil: Tropa de Elite 2 (Elite Squad: The Enemy Within), José Padilha
Bulgaria: Тилт Tilt, Viktor Chuchkov Jr.
Canada: Monsieur Lazhar, Philippe Falardeau
Chile: Violeta Se Fue a los Cielos (Violeta Went to Heaven), Andrés Wood
China: 金陵十三釵 (The Flowers of War), Zhang Yimou
Colombia: Los Colores de la Montaña (The Colors of the Mountain), Carlos César Arbeláez
Croatia: Sedamdeset i dva dana (72 days), Danilo Serbedzija
Cuba: Habanastation, Ian Padrón
Czech Republic: Alois Nebel, Tomás Lunák (animated film)
Denmark: SuperClásico, Ole Christian Madsen
Dominican Republic: La Hija Natural (Love Child), Leticia Tonos
Egypt: الشوق El-Shouq (Lust), Khaled El-Hagar
Estonia: Kirjad Inglile (Letters to Angel), Sulev Keedus
Finland: Le Havre, Aki Kaurismäki
France: La guerre est déclarée (Declaration of War), Valérie Donzelli (Good movie, a lot better than what I imagined; a little bit uneven, last half not as good as first)
Georgia: Chantrapras, Otar Iosseliani
Germany: Pina, Wim Wenders (is a documentary - NO, this is no doc even when documents dance, it's really BEAUTIFUL to watch plus you'll feel lots of emotions! Fantastic film.)
Greece: Attenberg, Athina Rachel Tsangari (A strange movie/story yet was fascinating for me.)
Hong Kong: 桃姐 Tao jie (A Simple Life), Ann Hui
Hungary: A Torinói ló (The Turin Horse), Béla Tarr
Iceland: Eldfjall (Volcano), Rúnar Rúnarsson
India: ആദാമിന്റെ മകൻ അബു Adaminte Makan Abu (Abu, Son of Adam), Salim Ahamed
Indonesia: Di Bawah Lindungan Ka'bah (Under the Protection of Ka'Bah), Hanny R Saputra
Iran: جدایی نادر از سیمین Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (Nader and Simin, A Separation), Asghar Farhadi (Very Good movie, excellent essay on normal life, bravo Master Farhadi!)
Ireland: As If I Am Not There, Juanita Wilson  (Very HARD-to-watch story in a good movie with good performances which makes film harder to watch.)
Israel: הערת שוליים (Footnote), Joseph Cedar
Italy: Terraferma, Emanuele Crialese
Japan: 一枚のハガキ Ich-mai no Hagaki (Postcard), Kaneto Shindō
Kazakhstan: Возвращение в "А" (Return to "A"), Egor Konchalovsky
Lebanon: وهلّأ لوين؟ Wo Hallah La Wen? (Where Do We Go Now?), Nadine Labaki
Lithuania: Kai Apkabinsiu Tave (Back in Your Arms), Kristijonas Vildžiūnas
Macedonia: Панкот не е мртов Pankot ne e mrtov (Punk's Not Dead), Vladimir Blazevski
Mexico: Miss Bala, Gerado Naranjo (It's an okay movie less violent than I imagined whilst easier to watch)
Morocco: Omar m'a tuer (Omar Killed Me), Roschdy Zem
Netherlands: Sonny Boy, Maria Peters
New Zealand: O Le Tulafale (The Orator), Tusi Tamasese
Norway: Sykt lykkelig (Happy, Happy), Anne Sewitsky (Interesting human behavior essay, dark funny)
Peru: Octubre (October), Diego and Daniel Vega
Philippines: Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank (The Woman in the Septic Tank), Marlon Rivera
Poland: W ciemności (In Darkness), Agnieszka Holland
Portugal: José e Pilar (Jose and Pilar), Miguel Goncalves Mendes (documentary)
Romania: Morgen, Marian Crisan
Russia: Утомлённые солнцем 2: Цитадель Utomlyonnye Solntsem 2 (Burnt by the Sun 2: The Citadel), Nikita Mikhalkov
Serbia: Montevideo, bog te video (Montevideo: Taste of a Dream), Dragan Bjelogrlić
Singapore: Tatsumi, Erick Khoo
Slovakia: Cigán (Gypsy), Martin Šulík
South Africa: Shookheid (Beauty), Oliver Hermanus
South Korea: 고지전 Go-ji-jeon (The Front Line), Jang Hun
Spain: Pa Negre (Black Bread), Agustí Villaronga (An okay movie with an okay story, nothing special)
Sweden: Svinalängorna (Beyond), Pernilla August
Switzerland: Giochi d'estate (Summer Games), Rolando Colla
Taiwan: 賽德克．巴萊 Saideke Balai (Warriors of the Rainbow: Seediq Bale), Wei Te-Sheng
Thailand: คนโขน Kon Khon, Sarunyu Wongkrachang
Turkey: Bir Zamanlar Anadolu’da (Once Upon a Time in Anatolia), Nuri Bilge Ceylan
United Kingdom: Patagonia, Marc Evans
Uruguay: La Casa Muda (The Silent House), Gustavo Hernández
Venezuela: El Rumor de las Piedras (The Rumble of the Stones), Alejandro Bellame
Vietnam: Khát vọng Thăng Long (The Prince and the Pagoda Boy), Lưu Trọng Ninh

Watch 62 trailers @MOC Poland doesn't have trailer yet.

Updates Comments

An unexpected update but suddenly the AMPAS Best Foreign Language Film Award Screening Schedule became available and with some unexpected surprises as seems Slovenia's silent Circus Fantasticus is NOT in the list that has 63 films (two less than in previous years).

As expected Albania changed their submission, Georgia has the expected submission, and new to the list are Estonia, Indonesia and UK. Not expected but predictable Russia kept their original submission and in a positive turn of events, the Academy allowed the Dominican Republic submission.

Between today and tomorrow the Academy has to publish their official list and ONLY then this post will become final.

--//--

10/4

The last update before final has 58 countries submitting a film that had some kind of promotion in local media or industry media; then add one more (Georgia) that haven't been able to find info to make the total to 59, odd number, isn't? Should be 60, but up-to-this moment there are no new announcements. I still expect the number to reach 65 and soon we will learn the final list that the Academy will release within the following two weeks.

This year I have the impression that there are TOO many good films, some I have seen so know they're good (a few exceptions that I don't understand how they made it to this list) and other haven't seen them yet but are from directors I highly appreciate as great filmmakers.

I know is kind of crazy (so early) to speculate about the films that will make it to the shortlist of nine, but here is my nine film wishlist and I really hope they make it.

Germany with Pina, Finland with Le Havre, Iran with A Separation, China with The Flowers of War, Lebanon with Where do we go now?, Mexico with Miss Bala, Turkey with Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, Sweden with Beyond, and Iceland with Volcano. As a matter of fact today my Oscar goes to Pina!!! Yes, what a marvelous film truly deserves the award.

For a change there is one film that I'm not really looking forward to see, France's submission as story, style and the I-can't-forget reference of being in La Semaine de la Critique, make film not attractive to me.

Soon this post will become final and we will know if Russia changed the submission, Albania retains its submission, and Georgia submitted a French production -which is most likely as Morroco did it too.

Cheers!!!

--//--

9/23

A new update as today we reached the 40th mark with up-to-this-moment forty (40)films. Past years there has been 65 submissions, so we can estimate that we still get around 25 more.

But what really calls my attention is the many festival movies that are being submitted; from Cannes 2010 there are 2, Cannes 2011 - 7, Venice 2010 - 2, Venice 2011 - 1, and Berlin 2011 - 3; for a total of 15 films out of 40. Also there are many (yes, many WHEN we compare it to previous years) that have gay or lesbian interest and not often in this list we have the Queer Palm winner, so I'm glad for this -small- milestone in LGTB cinema.

In about a week is the submission deadline, so this coming week should be also with many announcements.

--//--

9/14

As list will grow larger soon had to do the first update to have the post above all the others (lol!) as not everyone knows that in the second column there is ALWAYS a link to this post for the easiest access.

I'm very puzzled with Iran's announcement a few days back, seems was not official -that's why they deleted all the news-; then Variety confirmed the news, but today in Iranian press the news that there are three films shortlisted. I do believe the Golden Bear winner deserves the honor, but let's see what Iranian authorities finally decide.

---///---

9/1

The American Award Season is “around the corner” so it’s no surprise to find my first movie submitted to Oscar 2012. I say my first as imagine that surely now that I’ll start to look for information I’ll find more, but for today this is the first confirmed movie submitted to Oscar.

So my favorite yearly post begins today with many more submissions and one film with lesbian interest... fantastic!

This Means Suck

Below, the trailer for "This Means War;" in which two CIA agent pals (Tom Hardy and Chris Pine) learn they're both dating Reese Witherspoon and... well, the title and such...



Oh yeah, let's all get in line for that, huh?

Anyone remember why I'm supposed to be exicted to see Chris Pine in ANYTHING? He was terrible in "Star Trek," and generally has all the charisma of the block of wood for which he is named (easy joke, I know, but still...)

For that matter, what happened to the new "Trek" reviving that franchise, again? Remember, that was supposed to happen? Movie made a bunch of money, reviews skewed pretty positive, and yet... Trek doesn't seem to be "back" at all. It's not hard to tell when a franchise is "hot" these days; and any objective read of Star Trek's pop-culture presence can tell you it's back to being as cold as when "Enterprise" went off the air. Where's the excitement, in the fandom or otherwise? The web is full-to-bursting with casting-rumor and "conceptual" fanart of every minor figure who MIGHT possibly show up in an "Avengers" sequel, but NOBODY is talking about who or what turns up in JJ Abrams Trek sequels.

Yeah, I didn't much care for the movie myself, but just looking at things objectively it seems to have COMPLETELY failed in it's mission-statement to make "Star Trek" a vital part of the cultural discussion again, no?

Is "Act of Valor" the Movie the "Call of Duty" Generation Has Been Waiting For?

Here's a production-backstory that will make some people kinda queasy and others kinda thrilled:

"Act of Valor" supposedly began life as a bigger-budget-than-usual, up-to-date Navy SEAL recruitment film; but was reworked into a "traditional" feature film (one has to assume public-interest in the SEALs following the killing of bin Laden played a part, yes?) and is now being released in February by Relativity Media. The Navy still seems to have "signed off" on the project, though - so all the gear, tech and tactics are as authentic as possible and (most interestingly of all) the main hero-cast are played by actual SEAL members.

Big Picture: "War of The Gargantuas"

Before anyone asks: YES, I'm aware that James Rolfe - aka "The Angry Nintendo Nerd" did this one as part of HIS October Monster Movies series yesterday last year.

People should go watch James' anyway, though - his work for Cinemassacre deserves to be at least as widely seen as his AVGN material.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The War of the Gargantuas

First "Avengers" Trailer Hits

I'm predisposed to be irrationally excited for "The Avengers" because of what it represents: The idea of comic-style shared-universe "continuity" - the type that blurs through arbitrary genre lines by suggesting that "real" characters and "fantasy" characters exist side-by-side - become part of "movie language" is one of the wish-dreams of the Geek Age. If this works, everything changes.

That the film actually looks really good - with actors who came to play and a sharp script already evident - is quite a relief, though...



First teaser is a little Iron Man heavy, but that's not surprising since his main selling point - he's "the funny one" - doesn't require any finished FX. It's hard to get a good read on the big picture of it; since it's obviously unfinished footage (no color-correction, people shooting guns at empty space, cars being blown up by nothing) but so far I'm encouraged.

Occupation

Reprinted below is a comment I was in the process of leaving on a talkback about the "Occupy Wall Street" movement on BAD as word was coming down (and continues to come down) that protesters at Occupy Boston are being beaten and overwhelmed by the Boston Police. Not a good night here, obviously...

From me:
These things are always tough for me, in the macro, because my commitment to clear reason (call it "cynicism" if you like) doesn't permit me to dial-back my overall-negative assessment of humanity when it's a swath of humanity I'm sympathetic too; as is the case here.


My cold-water-in-the-face "read" of this "Occupy" business is that it IS the "left" version of the Mark I "Tea Party" business: largely fueled by not-particularly-sharp folks with a simple-to-nonexistent grasp of politics getting smacked in the face all at once by the realization that The System is FUCKED and reacting by focusing the blame on whatever their vague political/personal prejudices already had them seeing as The Bad Guys - i.e. the Teabaggers reflexively blamed minorities, gays, non-christians and foriegners; the kids at Occupy reflexively blamed "Corporate America." Yes, the INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT distinction is that "Occupy Wall Street's" choice of bad guy actually IS The Bad Guy; but I'm unable to fully "get down" for the romanticism of it. I don't "like" looking at it that way - as I'm typing this, the news is coming in that the Occupy Boston crowd is getting savaged by the cops and I'm pissed as HELL about it - but there you go.


THAT SAID...


Just as the Teabaggers hadn't existed for long before they became (largely) unwitting-dupe mercenaries for the GOP; if these kids can hold out maybe, just maybe, some form of leadership can either emerge-from or "hook up" with them and they can be an instrument of ensuring the all-important goal of preventing "conservatives" from attaining one more shred of power or influence until the ability of their policies and beliefs to do lasting damage has been permanently (constitutionally?) shielded against.


I know whose side I'm on.

I stand by that, overall - being unromantic about something doesn't mean you can't be sympathetic toward it and vice-versa. Is "Occupy Wall Street" primarily just vauge, petulant anger at "the man?" Yes, I think it is. Is there any kind of important, cogent political/philosophical "point" to be had from it? Not really, no. BUT! Are they are at least aiming their anger in the right direction? YES. Should they be getting bludgeoned by cops? NO. Do they have my support, whatever little it's worth? ABSOLUTELY.

"It's Not For Women"

One is given to understand that the Dr. Pepper people are "kidding" here. Regardless, this has to be one of the stupidest commercials in a long time...

5th Annual Asia Pacific Screen Awards Nominations

Today APSA announced the nominations for this year awards, with a total of 37 films from 19 countries and areas. Here are the nominations for some categories. It’s noted that the films with most nominations –four each- are A Separation and Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, as we know both are Iran and Turkey submissions to Oscar plus both are by two of my most favorite directors.

Best Feature Film
Band Baaja Baaraat (Wedding Planners), Maneesh Sharma, India
Bé Omid É Didar (Goodbye), Mohammad Rasoulof, Iran
Bir Zamanlar Anadolu’da (Once Upon a Time in Anatolia), Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Turkey
Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (A Separation), Asghar Farhadi, Iran
Rang zidan fei (Let the Bullets Fly), Jiang Wen, China and Hong Kong

Achievement in Directing
Asghar Farhadi for Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (A Separation), Iran
Nuri Bilge Ceylan for Bir Zamanlar Anadolu’da (Once Upon a Time in Anatolia), Turkey
Mohammad Rasoulof for Bé Omid É Didar (Goodbye), Iran
Jiang Wen for Rang zidan fei (Let the Bullets Fly), China and Hong Kong
Na Hong-jin for Hwanghae (The Yellow Sea), South Korea

Best Performance by an Actress
Judy Davis in The Eye of the Storm, Fred Schepisi, Australia
Nahed El Sebai in Cairo 678, Mohamed Diab, Egypt
Nadezhda Markina in Elena, Andrei Zvyagintsev, Russia
Shayesteh Irani in Ayenhaye Rooberoo (Facing Mirrors), Negar Azarbayjani, Iran
Leyla Zareh in Bé Omid É Didar (Goodbye), Mohammad Rasoulof, Iran

Best Performance by an Actor
Peyman Moadi in Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (A Separation), Asghar Farhadi, Iran
Wang Baoqiang in Hello! Shu Xian Sheng (Mr Tree), Jie Han, China
Sasson Gabay in Boker Tov Adon Fidelman (Restoration), Yossi Madmoni, Israel
Fa’afiaula Sagote in O le Tulafale (The Orator), Tusi Tamasese,New Zealand and Samoa
Daniel Connors for Toomelah, Ivan Sen, Australia

To check nominees in all categories go press release or here. Award ceremony will be on November 24 at the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia and will be streamed live at the official site here.