INTERMISSION: GET OUT OF HELL FREE

As is our yearly tradition, my son and I dropped by the Georgia Renaissance Festival this weekend. It’s just like the real Renaissance, except without all the chamber pots and cesspits and with a whole lot more elves, pirates, and  bad English accents. Oh, and one Deadpool.

While there, we took in the Hey Nunnie Nunnie show again which, like most Renn Fest acts, doesn’t really change that much from year to year, but is still funny anyway. The main difference this time around is that after the show I picked up this little item…

Now, because I wear a scapular every day, there are some who would say this is redundant. After all, there’s a fairly well known folk belief which came into existence near the end of the Renaissance which states that anyone adorned with a Brown Scapular will never go to Hell and only have to spend a minimal amount of time in Purgatory. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work that way. As Michael P. Carroll notes in his book Catholic Cults and Devotions: A Psychological Inquiry…

“It is important to note that that a belief in the ‘Scapular Promise’… has not been actively encouraged by the Church… [Rather] the Church has traditionally argued only that if people adhere to the Catholic faith and wear the Brown Scapular as evidence of their veneration of Mary and their recognition of Mary’s great ability to intercede on behalf of human beings, they may securely hope that Mary will procure for them ‘the necessary graces for… perseverance in good.’ In other words, by wearing the Brown Scapular and venerating Mary, Mary will help you to avoid sin and so, by extension, avoid Hell.”

So, the Brown Scapular isn’t really a get out of Hell free card. That’s okay though, because now I have a back-up which I nabbed for only five bucks. As the price of indulgences went during Renaissance times, that’s a bargain.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN IX

For obvious reasons, Halloween has traditionally been the busy season around this blog. This year, however, I was commissioned (along with a lot of better illustrators) to produce some cartoons for a small Catholic publishing company and had to spend my spare time working on those instead. Still, I couldn’t let the holiday creep by without offering our yearly suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months, either here or over at Aleteia. Long time readers know that we provide this annual service for those Christians who can’t stand one more year of dressing up like a nun or an Old Testament prophet, but would still like their disguises to reflect their beliefs in some way.

Let’s start out with one for the fellows, and a pretty easy one at that. In fact, all you really need to dress up as this threatening apparition from The Devil Rides Out is a red bed sheet (white sheet soaked in RIT dye acceptable) to wrap around your infernal nether regions. Body oil is optional, if not actively discouraged. Oddly enough, for a movie full of Christian symbolism, this one demon actually calls to mind a shaytanic jinn, one of those non-angelic spiritual beings Muslims believe inhabit the unseen world. But that’s okay. Go as this guy and you just might remind folks that evil is real and out to get you, no matter what you do or don’t believe.

Now that we’ve got the guys covered (the necessary bits anyway), we can turn our attention to the ladies. For you, we suggest going as uber-businesswoman Claire from this year’s blockbuster, Jurassic World. Claire’s all-white skirt and blouse ensemble should come relatively cheap, with most of it probably already hanging in your closet. The only accessories you should have to spring for are a red glow stick (our lawyers advise we not recommend actual flaming torches) to attract dinosaurs with and, more importantly, a pair of 3.5-in. nude Sam Edelman heels in your size. Heels, as you probably know by now, are the preferred foot ware in which to outrun enraged monsters created by profit-minded mad scientists. Actress Bryce Dallas Howard, who played Claire, explained, “She’s in high heels because she’s a woman who has been in high heels her whole life and she can f****** sprint in them. She can. That’s kind of how I perceived it. She doesn’t have to be in menswear and flats in order to outrun a T-Rex. That’s what women can do.” Sure, why not? So slip on those pumps, go trick or treating, and be sure to remind everyone you meet that science must serve mankind, not just men’s wallets.

If you’d prefer a more unisex look to your costume this year, then the possessed Christie’s getup from Ninja III: The Domination is just the ensemble for you. Throw on some used coveralls, a ski mask, and some dollar store ninja gear and nobody will know what you are under there. Of course, to make the costume 100% authentic, you’ll need to slather on tons of mascara as well, but let’s face it, this is 2015, so they still won’t be able to tell what you are under there. Sigh.

But enough of all these solo suggestions. If you’re in the market for a couple’s costume, why not try out Mavis & Jonathan’s wedding attire from Hotel Transylvania 2. For Mavis, all you ladies can just pull out your little black dress, add a veil and some fake vampire fangs, and you’re good to go. As for you fellows, it’s not prom season, so you should be able to pick up a tux pretty cheap. Just add a carrot-top wig and and you’re ready to walk the aisle. Or your neighborhood streets as the case may be. Not only will you make a lovely couple, but you’ll be a shining example of how love can overcome all the problems a mixed-marriage might present.

And finally, if you need something for the whole family, why not make yourselves up as the stalwart heroes from Big Ass Spider! Between Goodwill and the Dollar Store (again), these outfits should be fairly inexpensive to throw together. Of course, one of you might want to dress up as a big ass spider so everyone gets the point, but thanks to the Internet…

…that should be no problem. So, not only can the whole family participate, but you’ll be making a statement on how everyday working class guys and gals are just as heroic and worthy of praise as all those folks flying around in capes. You know, kind of like how the apostles were.

Well, hope this gave everyone some useful hints for costume ideas this year. Until next time, Happy Happy Halloween everyone.

INTERMISSION

Between the upcoming holiday, pressing family matters, and the usual pre-holiday work crush, it looks like blogging will be light this week. You can always head over to Aleteia to see what I thought of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and I’ll try to keep the cartoon schedule intact, but otherwise, you’ll mercifully be spared my ramblings for a few days. I hope everybody has a happy Thanksgiving and a great start to Advent. See you in a bit.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN VII

It’s that time of the year again, time for the B-Movie Catechism to present it’s annual suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months, either here or at Aleteia. We do this every year as a service to those Christians who don’t particularly like the selection of serial killers & naughty panthers to be found at the local costume shop, but who also don’t want to resort to dressing up as angels or shepherds AGAIN just to go trunk or treating in the church parking lot.

First up is Frankenstein Island, Jerry Warren’s last foray into the fever dream world of low budget film making. Choosing just a single character from Frankenstein Island is tough. Should it be the insane one-eyed pirate? Or maybe the bikini clad amazon? How about the strange Phillipino guy with a syringe and an eyeball fetish? No, for pure low budget goodness it’s probably best to go with the zombie holding a magic plastic pitchfork that turns people into vampires. All you need to put together this ensemble is an old black sweater, a ratty wool cap, and a prop from the dollar store. Then you can explain to everyone who asks what the heck it is you’re supposed to dressed as how your costume represents the seemingly random stuff we’re confronted with in life and how God has an answer to it all if you’re willing to listen.

If you’d prefer something a bit more recognizable, however, then perhaps Kris Kringle himself from Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny would be more to your liking. Any dirty old Santa suit will do, even a homemade one, just as long as you remember the most important detail, the horrifying sweat stain puddling up in the crotch area. If the people whose homes you trick or treat at don’t immediately slam the door shut in your face, you’ll be able to explain to them that your costume is a not-so-gentle reminder that during the upcoming Advent season, it’s really not Santa they should be waiting for anyway.

As nice as that idea is, though, perhaps you’d rather stick with something a bit more Halloweeny, and what says Halloween more than witches? Now the great thing about the witches (or casters, as they prefer to be called) from Beautiful Creatures is that they all look and dress just like any other teenager pouting around the mall on a Saturday afternoon, so if you already shop there, your costume is 99% done. If not, chances are you can probably find some cheap Forever 21 stuff down at the consignment shop. The only other thing you’ll need to make this costume a success is an atrocious Hollywood-style Southern accent, the kind that would put Foghorn Leghorn to shame, on account o' y’all knows thass how all us Southerners talk. As your neighbors rush to burn you alive (either for being a witch or for hamming up your dialog so horribly), you can use your new dialect to explain how no one should rush to judge another. Even the Pope says so.

One costume His Holiness might be a bit iffy on, however, is the shotgun wielding nun from Freejack. It’s not just the big double barreled boomstick the good sister is carrying that the Pontiff might find questionable, but the constant stream of profanities that apparently come with it. Who did the writers of this movie think the nun was anyway, a seminarian arguing eschatology in his dorm room late at night? Nuns shouldn’t talk that way. But still, she made some good points in between all the cussing. And if you decide to wear this traditional get-up with a twist, so can you, using your words (and possibly your weapon) to convince others that there’s more to people than just their memories. They all have immortal souls as well.

Speaking of heady thoughts, what could possibly be more contemplative than a Terrence Malick film? If you’re looking for a costume with a more artistic bent to it, why not dress up as one of the characters from Malick’s To The Wonder? This is another outfit where most of it is already hanging in your closet. Just pick out your favorite casual wear and you’re almost ready to go. You’ll only need two accessories. One is a big picture of a tree, so that whenever anyone looks at you, you can quickly hold it up in front of your face so no one can see you for more than a minute at a time, just like Malick films his actors. The second accessory is some kind of voice recorder which will be used if someone begins to question your sanity over of the tree thing. If that happens, just hit play and have your prerecorded message tell them in voiceover that everything’s alright because the “love that loves us” is watching over us and will make everything okay. To make it even more Malick-y, be sure to twirl around wistfully while your message plays.

And that should do it for our costume ideas this year. Have a fun time trick or treating and don’t forget All Saints the next day. Happy Happy Halloween everyone.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN VI

As those who have have been hanging around here for the past few years know, the approach of Halloween means that the time has come once again for the B-Movie Catechism to present it’s annual suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months. We offer this yearly service to help out those Christians who might find many of the costumes offered in the stores to be either a bit too demonic or (as is becoming more or more likely these days) just too uncomfortably close to being nude to wear to their church’s annual Scarecrow Carnival or Hallowed Be Thy Name Festival, and would prefer something with a little more spiritual meaning behind it (even if, in most instances, you have to look pretty hard to find said meaning) without resorting to the usual shepherds, angels, or nuns (not that Sister Julie thinks there’s anything wrong with a nun costume here or there).

To start things off, here’s one you want find in any store. It’s everybody’s favorite giant monster from Denmark, REPTILICUS! Now I can hear you asking, just how exactly is someone supposed to dress up like a Godzilla-sized flying snake that spits acidic loogies? Well, the answer is simple… any way you want to. You see, no matter what you come up with, it’s going to look better than the pathetic creature that actually appeared in the movie, a creation widely acknowledged as one of the worst special effects ever committed to celluloid. Still, if you need some help with the design, we suggest you dress all in black from head to toe and then simply make yourself a paper bag dragon puppet or a dragon sock puppet to wear on your arm. Trust us, it won’t look any worse than what the Danes put onscreen. Plus, when people ask just what it is you’re supposed to be, you can explain all about the origins of your outfit and maybe even bring up the questions Reptilicus raises about miracles. (P.S. You can also recycle this costume and use it as part of a VBS skit on the fall of man in Genesis. How you handle the pre-fig leaf Adam and Eve is your own problem though.)

If you don’t have time for arts and crafts and would prefer something you can just throw together from stuff in the attic, then here’s the perfect getup for you. Although, there’s not much to be had in the way of costumes in INCUBUS, all you really need to dress up as the virtuous ex-soldier Marc is an everyday black long-sleeved t-shirt, an overcoat, and a good amount of hair gel. Oh, and a William Shatner impersonation. C’mon, everybody’s got one, so go ahead and let yours rip. After all, as Incubus showed us, there’s nothing like the irony in hearing the suave tones of the ever amorous Captain Kirk giving an impassioned plea for no sex before marriage. And you don’t have to stop there. Why not treat the world to Shatner quoting from the Bible. Sure, he’s Jewish, so to keep things honest you’d have to stick with the Old Testament, but wouldn’t that still be great? “I… the LORD… am your God… who… brought you out of the land of Egypt, that… place… of slavery. You… shall not… have other gods besides… me.” Bonus points if you sing-speak it.

Now unlike Incubus, there is no shortage of costume ideas in our next film because there are a veritable pants load of monsters to be found in NIGHTBREED. Unfortunately, unless you’ve got access to a professional makeup artist and a special effects crew, chances are pretty slim that you’ll be able to dress up as one of the varied citizens of Midian. Well, except for maybe Ohnaka. You remember him don’t you? He’s that effeminate dude who dresses like a reject from a Pride parade and carries around a Boston Terrier all the time. Pretty much all you would need to dress up as Ohnaka is a bald wig (assuming you’re not already hairless), a few temporary tattoos, some clip-on nipple rings, and a tiny dog, preferably of the shake-and-pee variety. A warning, though. Considering how the Catechism states that “life and physical health are precious gifts entrusted to us by God. We must take reasonable care of them.”, it would probably be wise to take care what neighborhoods you plan to wear this costume in, as a walk through the wrong ones could get you a thump up side the head. On the plus side, a little personal harassment could always serve as a reminder that we should treat those with certain inclinations in the way the Catechism suggests, “with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.”

If that sounds just a bit too heavy for what has basically become a kids holiday, then why not just stick with a classic monster? For this one, all you need to do is grab an old red tarp, spray some shellac on it, and, tah dah, you’re THE BLOB! If you think about it, it’s the perfect costume for Halloween because it gives you the excuse to glide and slide and creep and leap around, all the time eating everything you see. And if someone happens to complain as their bag of treats disappears into your maw, then just tell them you’re giving them a demonstration on the evils of the capital vice of gluttony. They’ll buy that one, right?

Well, that should help out the more adventurous of you with your costumes this year. Have fun, but be sure not to let the next morning’s candy induced stomach ache keep you away from mass on All Saints Day. Happy Happy Halloween everyone.

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN V

As long time readers know, it’s just wouldn’t be Halloween around here if we didn’t offer our yearly cheap and easy to make costume suggestions based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months. We do this to help out those folks who might feel that the fare found on store shelves is either too demonic to wear to their local Protestant fall festival, or too risqué to walk around in at their Catholic parish’s Halloween carnival. Of course, we realize that what is and is not considered risqué changes with the times. If you don’t want to take our word for it, just check out Business Insider’s history of slutty Halloween costumes (because nothing says business reporting like an article about slutty Halloween costumes).

Costumed cuties exposing their shoulders in 1930. Harlots.

Still, even with changing social mores, we think the costumes we have to offer this year will meet just about anyone’s minimum standards of decency. Not standards of good taste or intelligence, mind you, just decency.

First up, we have what has to be the infinite loop of Halloween costumes, SAM SMITH from ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES.  In the movie, Sam was a master of disguise who was so good that he even managed to infiltrate the enemy camp by masquerading as a tomato. So, basically, if you choose this costume, you would be disguising yourself as a master of disguise disguised as a tomato. Got that? And all you would need is one of those Dept of Corrections orange trash bags, some leaves, and a pair of green leggings. And what better costume for Christians as we’re often called to take on many guises in order to get God’s work done on this world of ours? As St. Paul wrote in I Corinthians, “To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law—though I myself am not under the law—to win over those under the law. To those outside the law I became like one outside the law—though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ—to win over those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it… So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Avoid giving offense, whether to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in every way, not seeking my own benefit but that of the many, that they may be saved.”

If being a tomato just doesn’t grab you but you still like the costume within a costume idea, then how about giving PAUL as CTHULHU from THE LAST LOVECRAFT: RELIC OF CTHULHU a try. Just print out and laminate the head of H.P.’s most popular elder squid thingy, grab some old swimming pool noodles to use as tentacles, and you’re ready for trick or treating. The neat thing about Paul is that while he still lives in his mother’s basement, is totally useless in a fight, and probably smells like the dollar menu at McDonald’s, the two main characters in the movie can’t accomplish a thing without him because he’s the only one who took time to memorize Lovecraft’s works so he’d know what to do if Shoggoth showed up. Christians should keep that in mind. As Fr. John Hardon wrote, “The seed of God's revealed truth has been sown into our hearts at Baptism. But that was only the beginning. We must do everything in our power to grasp the meaning of what we believe. Otherwise the devil will come along and steal the faith from our hearts. There has never been a substitute for understanding our Christian religion. There is no substitute today. But now, this understanding is absolutely imperative. The world in which we live is hell-bent on stealing from our hearts what we believe. That is why the Catechism of the Catholic Church is such a providential Godsend.” The Catechism is free online. Read it.

You know, our first two costumes are fine for individuals, but since this is a Catholic site, we recognize the possibility that some of our readers might have a whole brood of younglings to deck out for Halloween. If that’s the case for you, then the CHILDREN OF THE CORN should be a no-brainer. And the best thing is, If your family dresses very conservatively, you may already have all the clothing you will need to outfit the little buggers. If not, no biggie, just go borrow some from the local Pentecostals. Then all you need to do is pick up a few ears of corn from the grocery store, hand the kids some old gardening tools, and you’re ready to go. Now to get the most enjoyment you can out of these costumes, be sure to find the nearest neighborhood where there’s a large concentration of new atheists and send your mob of kids marching down the middle of the street waving their corn and utensils about while yelling “Outsiders!!!” at the top of their lungs. Hey, this is what cowards like Richard Dawkins are telling everybody you’re training your kids to be like anyway, you may as well have some fun with it.

Speaking of being hated, we come finally to what may be the most horrifying costume we’ve ever suggested. Yes, it’s NUKIE from, what else, NUKIE. Now, to wear this costume you will have to go through the trouble of making a paper mache head that looks a bit like Yoda after he fell into a wood chipper. But after that, all you’ll need to do is go roll around in some mud (or if you’re brave, a septic tank) and you’re good to go, although for the full effect, you might want to rub some Vaseline under your nose so it looks like you have an unending nasal drip. Whatever options you choose, the end result is guaranteed to make you the most hated trick or treater on the block. There’s a good chance any home on whose door you knock will actually egg you. If that happens, just consider it good training for the Christian life. Remember, Jesus said that “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” So we weren’t exactly promised a life of endless yucks as followers of Christ. And if you know your Church history, people like Dawkins are nothing new. There will always be someone who hates us for our beliefs. But if we’ve had a true conversion in our hearts, and we bolster that faith with a continued study of the reasoning behind it, we can weather the hatred and be all of the things others need us to be as God deals with them. At last that’s how it works on our good days.

And that’s about it for this year. So everybody suit up, get out there, and have some fun. Happy Happy Halloween everyone!

INTERMISSION: INCREDIBLE COOLNESS ALERT!

Just a quick note because I know some of you out there will be interested. A free audiobook of Lord of the World by Robert Hugh Benson just went live at Librivox. In his article CatholicAuthors.com, Joseph Pearce explains:

Hugh Benson was lauded in his own day as one of the leading figures in English literature, yet today he is almost completely forgotten outside Catholic circles and is sadly neglected even among Catholics. Few stars of the literary firmament, either before or since, have shone quite so brightly in their own time before being eclipsed quite so inexplicably in posterity. Almost a century after his conversion, Benson has become the unsung genius of the Catholic Literary Revival…

The world depicted in Lord of the World is one where creeping secularism and Godless humanism have triumphed over religion and traditional morality. It is a world where philosophical relativism has triumphed over objectivity; a world where, in the name of tolerance, religious doctrine is not tolerated. It is a world where euthanasia is practiced widely and religion hardly practiced at all. The lord of this nightmare world is a benign-looking politician intent on power in the name of "peace," and intent on the destruction of religion in the name of "truth." In such a world, only a small and shrinking Church stands resolutely against the demonic "Lord of the World."

Yeah, I know, sounds like today’s headlines, doesn’t it? But the creepy thing is that Lord of the World was written in 1908. It’s considered one of the first modern dystopias, a genre which is like meat and potatoes around these parts. I mean, come on, in the few short years this blog has been around, I’ve already reviewed the likes of THX-1138, The Blood Of Heroes, Class Of 1999, Cherry 2000, Warrior Of The Lost World, Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes, The Apple, Surf Nazis Must Die, and of course… ZARDOZ! There’s no way I’m passing up a chance to listen to Lord Of The World.

Let me know if some of you listen to it (or have already read it), I’d love to hear your opinions.

INTERMISSION: THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE

Well, he rang twice the other day at any rate. Okay, so he didn’t really ring, he just kind of left stuff laying in front of the door. And it wasn’t really the postman both times, once it was the UPS guy. And the first he was actually a she. Look, if I wanted to be a literalist, I would have stayed with the Free Will Baptists, okay? The point is, it was quite a haul.

Now, as I feel compelled to point out every now and then, I do actually read. In between movies, of course. And the recent batch of books which showed up on my doorstep goes a long way towards showing that my online persona is pretty much who I am in real life.

First up, there’s the Pope’s latest installment of Jesus of Nazareth which I’m going to do my best to finish over what’s left of Lent. And if I can keep up, I’ll probably try and participate in the discussion of the book which will hopefully be getting under way over at the Catholic Bibles blog.

Then there’s my brand new, personally autographed copy of Happy Catholic by blogger turned print author Julie Davis. Feel free to get yours here. (And no, the autograph was not made out to EegahInc. That’s my corporation name, so the only signatures I prefer to receive under that name are on checks.)

And last but not least, there’s Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator by Katrina Fabian. Ms. Fabian, as you may remember, is one of the editors of the Infinite Space, Infinite God anthology series which features science fiction stories featuring Catholic heroes. Now I don’t know yet if Neeta Lyffe is Catholic in any way, but I’m pretty sure the other two books have that covered in spades, so even if it’s just some simple gut munching fun, that’s fine with me.

So there you go. Popes, bloggers, and zombies. That about sums me up.

INTERMISSION: SHAMELESS PLUG FOR CATHOLIC MEDIA PROMOTION DAY

If by some odd chance you haven’t heard yet, March 15 (tomorrow) is Catholic Media Promotion Day. 

To help spread the word about all the excellent Catholic blogs, podcasts, and other media out there, The Willits from The Catholics Next Door have created a Facebook page over at Facebook.com/PromoteCatholicism and everyone who “likes” that page will be entered to win an iPad2.

Then, on March 15 (again, tomorrow), everyone with a blog, podcast, or Facebook page is encouraged to list their favorite 3 blogs, 3 podcasts, 3 other media, 3 random Catholic things online, and their own projects, and then post the link to their list on the Facebook page.

The nice folks over at Faith & Family Live also suggest the following:

• Go to iTunes and leave positive reviews for your three favorite Catholic podcasts and Catholic apps
  
• Email your family, friends, fellow parishioners and contacts with the good news about your favorite three blogs, podcasts, Catholic media outlets, and three other Catholic “gems” online
  
• Contact your local newspaper and tell them about Catholic Media Promotion Day, sharing the good news about media initiatives that are supporting the work of the Church
  
• As your local parish to list Catholic podcasts, blogs, apps, and other media initiatives, and offer a few great suggestions to help them get started - volunteer to be a “Catholic Media Liaison” for your parish by supplying this information in the bulletin on a regular basis
  
• Consider starting your own blog or podcast and share your faith using Facebook, Twitter and other new media technologies
  
• Pray for all of those involved in Catholic media, that the good news of the Gospel may be spread in new and exciting ways, reaching out to the ends of the earth

So get out there and promote your favorite Catholic media. And if your standards are low enough and you don’t mind people looking at you funny, you can even throw in a plug for this site as well.

INTERMISSION

Sorry, I had to take a few days off from blogging to knock out some work so I could slip away and celebrate my wife’s birthday AND head to downtown Atlanta to go for a walk with a few thousand of my new closest pals. Now the Atlanta March For Life draws nowhere near the crowd of places like DC or San Francisco, but there was still an eerie kind of power to be found in thousands of people silently walking through the concrete canyons of the city, the only sounds being the occasional siren, a few helicopter flyovers, and the stray Hail Mary.

Of course, being who I am, on the way down to the march I couldn’t help but call to mind the most recent image of Atlanta which has been on everyone’s mind… that of hordes of zombies shambling through the various Peachtree Streets on AMC’s The Walking Dead.

The knee jerk reaction (especially if one only has the discernment skills of something like, say, an unfunny HBO talk show host) would probably be to compare the marchers to the zombies. But in this instance, the zombies in the above photo are more readily identifiable with a society hell bent on devouring itself. They are a tidal wave of mock-life mindlessly spreading a culture of death. On the other hand, Officer Rick up there, that’s us, trying to survive and protect human life where we find it.

Only, unlike in most zombie stories, there’s more than just a rag tag band of survivors involved in the struggle. At least it sure seemed that way from my viewpoint last Friday afternoon…

One day, in a more appropriate venue than a silly blog devoted to discussing crappy movies, I’ll have to tell everyone my personal involvement with abortion and why walking in that throng was the very, very least thing I could do. But for now, I’ll just let the Catechism have it's say. “Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person - among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.”

Please take a moment today to pray for our brothers and sisters marching around the country, and for those women (and men) who out of fear and desperation are considering the wrong choice, and especially for those unborn who deserve a chance at the life we ourselves so often take for granted.

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And then come back later when things aren’t so serious, cause I’ve still got more crappy movies to discuss than I know what to do with.

INTERMISSION: HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN IV

Halloween again? Well that came around quick didn’t it? But you won’t hear any complaints around these parts, not with all the monster movie marathons on the tube. Plus, it means we get to offer our annual Halloween costume suggestions based on some of the movies we’ve taken a look at over the past twelve months. (Yes, it’s a bit last minute, but so’s everything else on this blog this year.) Long time readers know that we present this service for those of our fellow Christians who, despite the possibility that Halloween may actually have jack squat to do with paganism, might still feel uncomfortable dressing up in some of the more grotesque fare one can find lining the store shelves.

Of course, I suppose some of our costume suggestions could be considered a bit on the grotesque side also. Take our fist one for example, the severed head from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. All you need is a TV-tray sized cardboard collar, a sheet hanging down from it for a table cloth, a swimming cap to top it all off and, voila, instant decapitated debutante. If you want to add a bit of a biblical touch to it, just throw on a fake beard and call yourself John The Baptist. It’s almost a 100% guarantee that you’ll be the only one at your church’s seasonal Hallowed Be His Name Festival dressed in this ensemble.

Speaking of costumes nobody ever seems to wear when they go go trunk or treating in their church parking lot, what about the devil, or Mr. Boogaloo, as he’s known in The Apple? Oh sure, it’s a questionable choice, but he is right there in the Bible, and who knows, it might be just the jolt someone needs to be reminded that the Church still teaches the reality of what the Catechism calls that “seductive voice, opposed to God… a fallen angel, called Satan or the devil.” Yep, we still believe such an entity exists. Now maybe he doesn’t actually prance around decked out in heavy mascara and a ton of glitter trying to beguile us with his blatantly non-musical singing voice like Mr. Boogaloo… but then again, maybe he does. I wouldn’t put anything past him.

If that’s a bit over the top, but you still want to be weird for the evening, then you can always assemble an ensemble from Voyage Of The Rock Aliens. This outfit modeled by the inimitable ABCD is just one of the many retro-nightmares to be found in the movie. And it should be easy to put together quickly as most Gen-X’ers probably have some old Chess King clothing tucked away in their attics somewhere. If you can get them to admit to it. At any rate, as cheesy as the outfits are in Voyage Of The Rock Aliens, I’d still choose them over any of the Lovecraftian visions of madness to be found at Bad Vestments. View them if you dare!

And, hey, bad liturgical outfits aren’t just for humans anymore. Just in case you want your cat to hate you for eternity, there’s also… the Anti-Pope Cat costume.

After the night’s festivities are over (and you’ve locked the cat out so it doesn’t kill you in your sleep), why not wind down All Hallows Eve with a tour of some of the creepy offerings Now Showing At A Blog Near You.

The Happy Catholic offers up her list of some of her favorite Halloween recommendations.

Helm’s Deep and Spiritual Popcorn both take a stab, so to speak, at the recent release of Predators.

Father Steve Grunow of Word on Fire Catholic Ministries muses on the status of Catholic culture and Halloween.

I haven’t tried it out yet, but for those with an Android phone, there’s a new game/app called Ghosts’n Zombies where you play a monk sent by the Vatican to eliminate demons from an ancient chapel.

Creative Minority Report wants to know what’s the scariest book you’ve ever read.

The Catholics Next Door went to DragonCon.

And finally, since I’ve taken every opportunity to poop on the movie Legion whenever possible, I suppose it’s only fair to let the director have his say. In an interview with Shock Till You Drop, Scott Stewart explains his mangling of Christian theology by revealing “I was raised Jewish so I was an Old Testament guy with no experience reading Revelations so I read a fundamentalist view, a teaching guide of Revelations. It was nuts.” Sigh. Without even going into what is and is not a fundamentalist, can we just say, Mr. Stewart, that you could have at least spent ten minutes on the freakin’ Internet discovering that the overwhelming majority of Christians don’t hold to scaaary fundamentalist interpretations of Revelation. Which book, by the way, doesn’t have an ‘S’ on the end of its name. Cripes! How many times can I poop on Legion? NOT ENOUGH!

Well, that’s it for this year’s Halloween shindig, see you again next time. Unless, of course, you were unwise enough to invest in that Anti-Pope Cat costume, in which case… good luck. I’ll be sure to light a candle for you in two days when All Souls Day rolls around.

INTERMISSION: YOU BIG DUMMY

Yes, this is yet another post full of excuses for not blogging regularly, but at least I’ve got a doctor’s note this time. I was having some bad symptoms which required an impromptu visit to the cardiologist this week to get poked, prodded, and run through the wringer. Or treadmill, if you want to be literal about it.

Now, not to worry, it’s not THE BIG ONE or anything like that. In fact, my heart actually tested above average for my age, something I could have told the doctors BEFORE they started inserting the needles if they had bothered to ask. (After all, in Whoville they say that when I came home to the Church my small Grinchy heart grew THREE sizes that day!) Unfortunately, I do seem to have developed a case of severe reflux coupled with borderline acute exhaustion. So, I’ve been busy these last few days trying not to be busy. And trying to figure out how to live without caffeine. Guess which one’s been harder?

Anyway, the blog will continue (can’t disappoint my tens of fans), but it will probably still be in fits and starts for the next two or three weeks while I settle into my new routine. And my new (sob) diet. You know, for a guy who harps on the Catechism all the time, I don’t see how I missed the paragraph which states, “Life and physical health are precious gifts entrusted to us by God. We must take reasonable care of them.” What a big dummy.

INTERMISSION: LET’S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY… AGAIN

After responding to Pseudo Peter Rodger or Colonel Bat Guano or whatever his name was, it dawned on me that I’ve been inundated recently with requests from real people to promote stuff they’d like you to check out. None of it is remotely related to mad scientists or giant insects or anything like that, but in the interest of fooling people into thinking I might be well rounded, I’m going to pass the information along anyway. So let’s step out into the lobby for just a second and see what treats I have to offer you.

First up is Bible Freebies, which at the very least meets our budget requirements around here. (You can’t get more low budget than free.) They recently added me to their blog directory, so I wanted to make sure I reciprocated the favor. Sometimes I’m not exactly sure what it is I provide people around here, but it is most assuredly free, so I guess that’s good enough to get on the list. Be sure to check out their site for free CDs and software and such.

If you’re in the mood to pay for something, however, then I’m sure The Priests would appreciate your patronage. I’m ashamed to admit that, despite their record breaking debut CD, I’d not heard of The Priests before receiving their email, but better late than never I suppose. Here’s the clip for their upcoming album of traditional pieces.

Be sure to grab The Priests’ CD the week it comes out, though, as the boys in black have some stiff competition the following week from a guy some of you may have heard of called… The Pope. No, seriously. Alma Mater, Music From The Vatican is a work of eight specially commissioned works featuring the voice of Pope Benedict XVI, the Choir of the Philharmonic Academy of Rome conducted by Monsignor Pablo Colino and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Here’s the promo.

Well, hopefully you all found something to peak your interest, but the lights are dimming and it’s time to head back inside the auditorium. Can’t keep Blacula waiting for too much longer.

INTERMISSION: WOMAN… FRIEND… WIFE…

The Catechism states that “The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it "what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." This unequivocal insistence on the indissolubility of the marriage bond may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize.”

Especially if they’re married to someone whose Netflix queue reads like the index of the Golden Turkey Awards! And yet, even so, tomorrow, September 16th, marks my 20th wedding anniversary. Now, according to a 2002 study by the National Center for Health Statistics, “After 5 years, 20 percent of all first marriages have disrupted, due to either separation or divorce. After 10 years, one-third of first marriages have disrupted.” By 15 years, the rate exceeds 52 percent. I couldn’t find an indication in any of the data sources how much the husband’s lifelong hobby of watching really crappy movies contributes to all those breakups, but you have to figure it plays some kind of factor, no matter how small. I guess I just got a more loving and patient woman than I deserved.

The truth is, even though the circumstances of the past 20 years have been fairly chaotic and high maintenance, and the new century in particular has dealt some downright brutal blows to both my wife and myself, the marriage relationship itself has been pretty easy going. The fact that we truly love one another helps, of course, but returning to the Church in 2001 has more than played its part in keeping our union strong. “Jesus has not placed on spouses a burden impossible to bear, or too heavy.” the Catechism reminds us. “ By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to "receive" the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ. This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian life.” Damn right!

Anyway, I just felt like sharing that. We usually keep to a policy around here of ignoring the man behind the curtain, but hey, how many 20th wedding anniversaries does a guy get?

INTERMISSION:

As Catholic Media Review made note of, the Year of the Priest kicks in on June 19 and to help celebrate it the National Catholic Register has offered up some suggestions for movies to watch which contain positive portrayals of our collared clerics. Here’s the top ten good priest movies according to NCR:

1. The Scarlet and the Black (1983)
2. The Bells of St. Mary’s (1945)
3. The Mission (1986), mature audiences
4. Going My Way (1944)
5. The Keys of the Kingdom (1944)
6. On the Waterfront (1954)
7. I Confess (1953)
8. Boys Town (1938)
9. Molokai: The Story of Father Damien (1999), mature audiences
10. The Exorcist (1973) mature audiences

Now that’s a pretty strong list and it contains some all time classics, priests or no priests. But, you know, as good as that list is, we think it could stand to have a few more movies added to it. The American Catholic has already made his suggestions, but here at The B-Movie Catechism, we were thinking more specifically that it could use some of OUR KIND of movies added to it. This is actually harder than you might think. Bad or fallen priests are a dime a dozen in B-Movies and the few good ones you run across usually only get a scene or two, like say Father McFerrin in Teenage Exorcist. But we’ve come up with a handful of low budget celluloid clergymen we think make the grade.

1. FATHER MCGRUDER from BRAINDEAD aka DEAD-ALIVE (1992): Okay, so like in Teenage Exorcist, the good Father McGruder really only has a bit part in this early Peter Jackson gore-comedy, and he does become something of a cad once he joins the legion of the undead. But watch the film (if you have a strong stomach) and you’ll agree McGruder had to be on the list if for nothing else than the scene where he transforms from pastor to pugilist, raining a storm of priest-fu on the zombie hordes as he yells out his battle cry, “I kick ass for The Lord!” (Come on, you have to know at least one priest who would want that on a T-shirt for his birthday.)

2. FATHER SANDOR from DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1966): There’s no way you can convince me that Father Dwight Longenecker didn’t see this film at a young impressionable age. I can just picture little Dwight looking up at the big screen as the English sounding take-no-prisoners priest barrels through villages and mountainsides with a rifle strapped to his back and thinking to himself, “You know, I think I could that for the rest of my life.” Father Sandor is the alpha male when it comes to priests in movies. He’s the only one I can think of who ever took out Dracula with a gun?

3. REV. MIKE HILL from THE NORTH AVENUE IRREGULARS (1979): Okay, this one’s a cheat as the reverend is actually Presbyterian, but what the heck, he spends most of the movie in a collar. Loosely based on a true story, this comedy tells the story of how the new pastor in town assembles a group of ladies from his church to take on the local mob and their numbers racket. It’s old school Disney goofiness from back in the day when they could actually make a live action movie without loading it with pre-manufactured pop idols designed to suck every dime out of the pockets of 13 year olds. Plus you get to roll your eyes knowingly as the preacher struggles to reinvigorate his congregation with some decidedly “Spirit of Vatican II” style techniques.

4. FATHER MICHAEL from THE UNHOLY (1988): The American Catholic already mentioned Chariots of Fire’s Ben Cross’ turn as a priest in The Assisi Underground (1985), but Ben returned to put on the cassock again in this lesser known (for good reasons) late 80s horror outing. After miraculously surviving a fall from a skyscraper, Father Michael is sent to New Orleans to battle a demon who targets priests for temptation and murder. The flick is mediocre and the tempting more often than not involves disrobed women (so stay away if that’s a problem for your chastity), but it’s still nice to watch a film where, for once, the priest actually makes it to the finale with his vows intact and is portrayed as a hero for doing so.

Anyway, that should give you a good start if you’re in the mood for something cheesy but would still like to see some charitable portrayals of priests. If you think of some we missed, be sure to let us know. Happy viewing.

INTERMISSION: AND INTRODUCING…

 

Ever notice how tight lipped some actors get about their early work once they make it big, especially the ones who got their foot in the door by appearing in low budget slasher films? And we’re not just talking about the ones everyone is familiar with like Kevin Bacon (Friday The 13th) or Johnny Depp (Nightmare On Elm Street). Dig deep into the slasher archives and you’ll find a bevy of up and coming actors the world would soon be heaping praises on. Can you name the future star (or stars) who made an early career appearance in these crazy killer classics before moving on to bigger and better things? Use your cursor to highlight the answers.

1. Leprechaun (1993) Crazy killer dwarf loose in a small town.
Answer": Jennifer Anniston

2. The Burning (1981) Crazy killer loose at a summer camp.
Answer: Holly Hunter & Jason Alexander

3. The Final Terror (1983) Crazy killer loose in the woods.
Answer: Darryl Hannah

4. The Initiation (1984) Crazy killer loose in a mall.
Answer: Daphne Zuniga (Hey, she’s still working.)

5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) Crazy killers loose in the Longhorn State. With chainsaws, natch.
Answer: Renée Zellweger & Matthew McConaughey

6. He Knows You're Alone (1980) Crazy killer loose about town.
Answer: Tom Hanks (who was so likeable on set they rewrote the script so his character could live.)

7. Cutting Class (1989) Crazy killer loose at a high school.
Answer: Brad Pitt

8. Eyes of a Stranger (1981) Crazy killer loose in apartment complex.
Answer: Jennifer Jason Leigh

9. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Crazy supernatural killer loose in an asylum.
Answer: Laurence Fishburne (And this was after Apocalypse Now)

10. Deadly Lessons (1983) Crazy killer loose at a boarding school.
Answer: Ally Sheedy & Bill Paxton

11. Shadows Run Black (1986) Crazy killer loose at a college.
Answer: Kevin Costner

12. Return to Horror High (1987) Crazy killer loose on a movie set.
Answer: George Clooney (but George also starred in Return of the Killer Tomatoes, so we forgive him.)

Go ahead and just try to get any of these guys talking about their early days in the trenches of B-moviedom. It’s futile. You’d think they broke into the business making porn or something. (Which is silly. Just ask Sylvester Stallone, he’ll tell you what it’s like having to make porn.) These stars seem to want us to believe they sprung onto the scene as the fully fledged arteests the public views them as now. Apparently their egos can’t handle the fact that they started their careers saying lines like “Is anybody there?” and “AIEEEE!”.

That’s a shame because, around these parts, we take no offense at humble beginnings. In fact, as part of the Christmas season, we celebrate them. “Jesus was born in a humble stable, into a poor family.” the Catechism reminds us. “In this poverty heaven's glory was made manifest… No one, whether shepherd or wise man, can approach God here below except by kneeling before the manger at Bethlehem and adoring him hidden in the weakness of a new-born child.”

And it’s not just the location of Jesus’ birthplace which brings a sense of humbleness to the whole proceedings. Father Michael F. X. Hinkley notes that “The birth of God as man is itself an act by God of profound humility. The Christ is not to be found in a palace or in a family of social advantage. Without any loss to his Godliness, Jesus is born in the poverty of the stable. He takes on flesh and all that being human entails save sin. God humbles himself to show us God’s way of love (Ps 25:9). God’s experience of poverty isn’t limited to the economic, either. Jesus enters the poverty of all mankind. God, who is love, comes to know the ravages of our human pain, prejudice and persecution from within the frame of human experience.”

This Christmas season, may we all ignore the example of our man-made mega-stars and follow instead in the footsteps of our Lord, never forgetting where we came from, no matter how humble those places may have been.

INTERMISSION: OH, THANK GOD

Scott Nehring, author of the Good News Film Reviews, has seen fit to honor me with the Superior Scribbler's Award. Must be a side effect from that semi-secret love of most things zombie he carries in his heart. Whatever the reason, Scott, thanks for the gracious compliment, it’s much appreciated. Besides, what movie reviewer could pass up the chance to make an acceptance speech? And the best part, as this is a Christian themed blog, I get to say “all thanks to God” without sounding the least bit like a tourist.

Now, as is the nature of these things, there is some fine print:

• Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
• Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
• Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post, which explains The Award.
• Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List (scroll down). That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
• Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Done. So let’s see who I can pass this along to.

1. Well, Deej, Snuffles, & Lucky over at The Sci-Fi Catholic are a given. I mean, how can you resist posts like the Open Letter to the Original Battlestar Galactica? Plus, the combox crowd there can’t be beat.
2. And, of course, there’s Allen from It Came From Allen’s Brain. For a guy with no hands, he sure is a prolific typist. And translator for that matter as his ongoing work on The Gospel of Melvin can attest to.
3. Lately I’ve been lurking around The Deeps of Time, Michael’s blog concerning the intersection of Catholicism and science non-fiction. Hey, it can’t be about giant bugs and alien invaders all of the time, an it? 95% of the time, sure, but not ALL of the time.
4. Speaking of reality, I also really enjoy Archistrategos’ blog Ecce Ego, Quia Vocasti Me as it constantly reminds me there’s more to the Church than my little corner of the Bible Belt. I’m fond of my own parish, but It’s hard not to have a little pew envy when you see stuff like this.
5. The last one is a pure cheat because it allows me to throw in just about everyone I read. Not only does The Catholic Dads blog and blogroll contain a wealth of information, but it’s just nice to know I’m not the only one muddling through parenthood. Yeah, it’s a cheat, but aren’t you jealous you didn’t think of it first?

Once you’re done with those 50 or so blogs, be sure to come back here as we gear up for our second ever Christmas review. It’s as bad as you could imagine.

INTERMISSION: THE LAW IS AN... WELL, YOU KNOW

You want the truth. You can't handle the truth! Because the truth is that I've been asked to provide expert testimony in a proceeding involving the profession I occasionally make money at. Me. Expert testimony. How scary is that? Unfortunately, the hearing is this Monday, so I've got a bit of cramming to do before then, which means lite blogging for a few days.

The Catechism makes the distinction between a common law, which is "a rule of conduct enacted by competent authority for the sake of the common good", and God's moral law, which is "the work of divine Wisdom. Its biblical meaning can be defined as fatherly instruction, God's pedagogy. It prescribes for man the ways, the rules of conduct that lead to the promised beatitude; it proscribes the ways of evil which turn him away from God and his love... There are different expressions of the moral law, all of them interrelated: eternal law - the source, in God, of all law; natural law; revealed law, comprising the Old Law and the New Law, or Law of the Gospel; finally, civil and ecclesiastical laws." The hierarchy of the various expressions of the moral law is notable as it often calls Catholics to oppose otherwise legal actions because we (cliche or not) must ultimately answer to a higher authority.

Alas, my case involves only a lowly civil matter regarding financial matters, not some dramatic situation where I'll get to invoke said higher authority or fling a pocket knife into a table to save the life of someone falsely accused or anything like that. Oh well, at least it should be a more enjoyable experience than the one time I was summoned for jury duty. During the screening process (after a seven hour wait) I was asked two questions: "Are you self employed" and "where do you attend church"? After answering yes to the first and giving the name of my Catholic parish for the second, I was promptly sent home. So, was it the fact that I have to pay the IRS that 15% self-employment tax or the fact that I'm Catholic which made me unfit to sit in judgment of a wife-abuser? They never told me. Guess they thought I couldn't handle the truth.

INTERMISSION: WORD GAMES

Shall we play a game? Anyone who has spent some time browsing around the Internet Movie Database knows you can search for movies based on plot keywords. Say, for instance, you recognize my avatar over there to the right, but can’t quite put your finger on the title of the movie it comes from. All you have to do is go to IMDB, type ‘killer doll’ into the search engine, and there in the list of 15 or so movies tagged with that keyword you’ll see the 1975 classic Trilogy Of Terror and exclaim, “That’s it!”

So what I’m going to do is provide some of the plot keywords to 10 movies and see not only if you can guess the titles, but also what they all share in common. The title fonts are in black, so to reveal the answer you’ll have to highlight the text.

Plot Keywords: Beheading, Heresy, Child Murder
Movie Title: The Gospel According To Saint Matthew (1964)

Plot Keywords: Dead Boy, Genocide, Female Nudity
Movie Title: The Mission (1986)

Plot Keywords: Corruption, Pet Killed, Hit With Baseball Bat
Movie Title: On the Waterfront (1954)

Plot Keywords: Torture, Dehuminization, Urination
Movie Title: Schindler's List (1993)

Plot Keywords: Adultery, Suicide, Prostitute
Movie Title: 8 1/2 (1963)

Plot Keywords: Sadism, Drunkeness, Physical Abuse
Movie Title: La Strada (1956)

Plot Keywords: Science Runs Amok, Stabbing, Erotic Dance
Movie Title: Metropolis (1927)

Plot Keywords: Sexual Predator, Undead, Lust
Movie Title: Nosferatu (1922)

Plot Keywords: Psychedelic Image, Murder, Asphyxiation In Space
Movie Title: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

And last, but certainly not least…

Plot Keywords: Person On Fire, Melting Woman, Animal Attack, Narcotic Sleep, Crushed To Death, Witchcraft, and more
Movie Title: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Now if you’re like me, the first thing you’re probably wondering is why the heck some of these terms are popular enough to be included in the keyword search list in the first place? Melting Woman? Asphyxiation In Space? Urination!?! I don’t even want to know why people are specifically searching for movies with urination in them! Really, don’t tell me.

But the second thing you’re probably wanting to know is what exactly do all of these films have in common? Well, believe it or not, these movies are among the 45 works selected by The Vatican in 1995 as some of the most important films of all time. How is that possible considering some of the obviously questionable content? Commenting on the list, Steven Greydanus of The Decent Films Guide says “it doesn’t confine itself to films that totally avoid such content - any more than the Church’s patronage of other art forms has historically eschewed depictions of violence and nudity. Nudity, sexual content, obscene and profane language, and explicit violence can all be found in films on the list… In recognizing the merits of these particular films, the commission did not endorse everything these films contain, or gave them any kind of imprimatur or blanket ecclesiastical approval. Movies, like other works of culture, are seldom if ever perfect. Even with good or important ones, the viewer must be able to think critically and sort out the good from the bad.”

Now that doesn’t mean the selection committee had free reign. The Vatican was careful to set some boundaries on how to discern which movies containing scenes of sex and violence (and yes, even wee wee) were worthwhile for inclusion while others were not. Of prime importance was each movie’s treatment and presentation of the subject matter. As Pope John Paul II noted, “Some cinema productions merit criticism and disapproval, even severe criticism and disapproval. This is the case when films distort the truth, oppress genuine freedom, or show scenes of sex and violence offensive to human dignity.” That’s why, as Greydanus points out, D. W. Griffith’s Intolerance made the list, while his groundbreaking The Birth Of A Nation, did not. The latter is arguably the better movie from a technical standpoint, but it’s glorification of the KKK is simply morally unacceptable.

Guess where I’m going with this?

For those of us for whom movies represent our primary form of entertainment, understanding where the boundaries are is doubly important. This is because, let’s face it, not every movie is one of “the most important films of all time.” Honestly, sometimes the stuff we watch around here barely qualifies as films at all. We always have to be vigilant that we’re not getting caught up in entertainment which crosses the line indicated by Pope John Paul II. And with that in mind, we’re finally zeroing in on the question which started this whole cycle of posts in the first place. Do the movies reviewed on this blog, which contain many of the same questionable plot elements as the movies above, but absolutely none of the artistry, still manage to stay within the boundaries dictated by conscience?

I sure hope so. But that’s for another post.