Tuesday 28 February 2012

"Cowboy Ninja Viking" Is Your Next Funny-Name Theatrical-Failure

Deadline reports that Universal is setting up a feature-film adaptation of the 2009 Image comic "Cowboy Ninja Viking," (which I bet get's retitled as just "C.N.V.") a riff on the Bourne setup of highly-trained, mentally-reconditioned assassins with a high(er)-concept twist: The brainwash-ees are mental-patients with Multiple Personality Disorder, the supposed benefit being that each individual personality is trained in a different discipline; hence the title character alternately has the "powers" of a Cowboy, a Ninja and a Viking (there is, apparently, also a Pirate Gladiator Ocenaographer.)

Y'know, because both "Snakes on a Plane" and "Cowboys & Aliens" were both massive, runaway boxoffice hits and all...

Hollywood? As someone who is pretty-much THE target audience for the "Ha-Ha-That-Sounds-Like-A-Fake-Thing-But-It's-A-Real-Thing-So-I-Guess-Maybe-It's-Awesome" genre you haven't figured out isn't working for you yet, lemme help you out here:

MOST OF THE AUDIENCE THAT FINDS "MEME"-STYLE HUMOR LIKE THIS TITLE FUNNY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE *NEVER* GOING TO PAY FOR IT OR ANY OTHER MOVIE YOU MAKE. YOU MAY AS WELL JUST CALL IT "PIRATE TORRENT DOWNLOAD."

Thank you for your time.

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