XOXO Netflix Movie Review

XOXO (2016)
Watch XOXO on Netflix

Written by: Christopher Louie (story by), Dylan Meyer
Directed by: Christopher Louie
Starring: Sarah Hyland, Hayley Kiyoko, Ryan Hansen, Ione Skye
Rated: --/TV-MA

XOXO - Rave is love, XOXO is love. Knowing that, this movie is a waste of time.

Plot:
In this Netflix original, five or six strangers share a memorable night at a music festival. Memorable for them, not the viewer.

Verdict:
A rave setting is usually a bad joke. This had the potential to subvert the rave tropes with solid characters, but that doesn't happen. This is made for television level of quality, lacking the vision and artistry to make this anything more than a bag of tropes. How many times was this rejected before Netflix acquired it?
Skip it.

Review:
This is one of the longest ninety minutes of my life. Like any good rave this movie doesn't stop, and that is not a good thing. What is the point of this movie? Is it that a good rave will solve all your problems? I kind of like the conclusion, but it's only a below average conclusion that seems better than it is because the preceding hour and twenty minutes is so yawn inducing.

This didn't look like my type of movie. It starts rough, introducing the disparate club stereotype characters. I still had hope this could turn into something better, but I wondered who made this, who wants to see this, and who bought this thinking an audience exists for this. I wanted this to set up the club music scene, make us not like it, and then turn it around and make a really good movie. With the quick editing and frequent text messages and countdown clock popping up on the screen I quickly lost hope.

XOXO throws a bunch of characters and tropes on the screen without fully developing any of it. The attempts at comedy are just tired tropes we've seen before. There's a gross out porta-potty scene that has to be an imitation of Ewan McGregor's scene in Danny Boyle's Trainspotting (1996).
With the extended scene of Krystal in the kitchen storage room charging her cell phone, I lost all hope. It's absurd this is a scene in the movie. I've been introduced to the club scene and I never want to see it again. The underlying story is devoid of any meaningful conflict.

The movie features hopeful DJ Ethan, his potential manager Tariq who is tripping on acid, the infatuated Krystal searching for the love of her life, cynical Neil who doesn't even want to be at the rave, Avilo a famous DJ out to make a quick buck, and a couple exploring a sewer on the verge of breaking up.
It had the opportunity to present an oft ridiculed culture and reveal a story that surprises us in spite of itself. There are no surprises here, and the characters are paper thin. The story is so blunt it couldn't cut through air.
The only arc not completely without grace is that the creator of the festival goes around helping people. This is a plot point that is ridiculous and contrived. That's my favorite one. The creator knows Neil, but that plot point goes absolutely nowhere.

This movie will make you check the remaining time every ten minutes and swear there's a glitch as there is no way ten minutes can pass so slowly. While I watched the entire movie for the sake of this review, I drew the line at the credits. I didn't watch them despite the fact they are interspersed with go pro wearing drug guy's video footage of the day. Chances are you'll draw your line much earlier than me.