WEEKLY NEWSREEL

 

Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic and all you other Christians at sea. "The eyes of faith" says the Catechism, "can discover in the context of the whole of Revelation the mysterious reasons why God in his saving plan wanted his Son to be born of a virgin." The eyes, in our head, however, often need help just seeing our own hands in front of our own faces. No wonder then that the U. S. Department of Labor estimates that there are over 33,000 active optometrists in the United States alone. There are, however, more people fooling around in the eyewear business than just the pros and they can be, well, a little weird. And that's just the kind of stories The Newsreel is here to bring you. Now off to press.

DATELINE: PITTSBURGH - WINDOWS OF THE SOUL, HMM?

"Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing." claims the Catechism. If this is true, then all of you single ladies out there in need of eyewear may want to switch from glasses to contacts. The AP newswire reports that Dr. Thomas Friberg of The University of Pittsburgh's Eye and Ear Institute has found that intense sexual activity can lead to a spike in blood pressure, possibly causing a hemorrhage in the eye. “This is really rare, considering the amount of sexual activity that goes on" says Dr. Friberg, "but I would assume there are other patients out there who just don’t report it." If this is indeed the case, might we one day see the need for glasses replacing the smoking of cigarettes as a sure sign of, shall we say, moral laxity amongst young unmarried women? The thicker the lens the bigger the hussy? Not quite the message you were hoping to send with those designer frames you just dropped 200 bucks on is it ladies?

DATELINE: TEXAS - PIERCING VISIONS, AMONG OTHER THINGS

Speaking of designer frames, BMEzine (That's BM as in body modification, not the other BM the doctor sometimes asks about) brings us the story of James Sooy. It seems this avid body piercer has invented a pair of templeless spectacles in which the lenses instead hang from a small barbell inserted through the loose flesh at the bridge of the nose. "They feel exactly like a regular pair of glasses" Mr. Sooy says, "I put the nose pads on to keep them from swinging around, so all the pressure is placed there." As for downsides, Mr. Sooy admits, "Taking them on and off is a bit of a hassle, as it involves taking a tiny screwdriver and unscrewing them while they’re on my face." "Lord grant me a steady hand and watchful eye" goes the motorists prayer, but it seems appropriate here also. In case of sneezing during removal, however, we recommend Saint Lucy as a backup.

DATELINE: GERMANY - PRETTY FLY FOR SOME WHITE LAB COAT GUYS

Oddly enough, those aren't the silliest pair of glasses our intrepid Newsreel reporters ran across this week. National Geographic News passes along the tale of German manufacturer Micreon who has invented a pair of tiny fly-sized spectacles in order to showcase their high precision laser micro-machining process. The photo at the top of this post "shows a fly sporting a set of "designer" lenses crafted and set in place with a cutting-edge laser technique. The glasses fit snuggly on the fly's 0.08-inch-wide (2-millimeter-wide) head." The fly, who already possessed compound eye lenses and 360 degree vision, could not be reached for comment. However, with an expected life span of only 10 to 25 days, we think it's safe to assume he's not too happy over being held captive and having a useless hunk of sub-micronic metal strapped to his face. Still, the ability to work on this diminutive scale should inspire humility as we contemplate our own tiny place in the vastness of creation. Quoting St. Augustine, the Catechism exclaims, "You are great, O Lord, and greatly to be praised: great is your power and your wisdom is without measure. And man, so small a part of your creation, wants to praise you." Amen.

And we can't think of a better note to end the final post of 2007 on than that, so we bid everyone a Happy New Year and we'll see you in a few days for the start of our John Carpenter film fest. Quoting, as always, the great Les Nessman, good evening, and may the good news be yours.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

We've finally escaped the dreaded fall movie season and entered into that strange mixture of popcorn cinema and academy award bait that is the holidays at the cineplex.

Paul J. Cella from What’s Wrong with the World leads things off with a look at Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner hunting terrorists in The Kingdom. He finds the film flawed but noteworthy for a number of reasons including it's "clearheaded" depiction of Islamic terrorism.

While Jamie is busy with jihadists in Saudi Arabia, his Ali co-star Will Smith is off in the near-future fighting CGI mutants in I Am Legend. John W. Morehead at TheoFantastique finds this third adaptation of Richard Matheson's novel thought provoking in the way it "taps into several contemporary fears of late modern Westerners, such as apocalypticism at our own hands, genetic engineering gone awry, widespread death by disease, fears of loneliness, societal breakdown and the resulting massive chaos, and questions about meaning and purpose in response to an apparently nihilistic and godless universe." Pretty heady stuff for a Big Willy flick.

Apparently not quite as deep is the latest installment of Nick Cage's new franchise National Treasure: Book Of Secrets. Nevertheless, Andrew of Anglican Orthodoxy considers the movie "an entertaining diversion and keeps you on the edge of your seat, even if its plot is a bit outlandish."

You might think outlandish would also be a fit description for Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton's film adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's broadway musical. Allen, from the appropriately titled It Came From Allen's Brain, however, discovered it to be "a very well-made film. Nice camera work, effective lighting, quality acting, impressive art direction. Oh! and a guy singing a love song to his razors--what's not to love about that?" Sounds like a review after my own heart.

Nowhere near my heart is the CGI/live action take on Alvin And The Chipmunks which is inexplicably doing well at the box office. Sr Rose Pacatte,FSP director of the Pauline Center for Media Studies tries to be positive in her review, but ultimately admits that the film "suffers from too many writers (three) who don't know what they want to say - at least it seems that way." In her defense for even going to see the thing, looking over the other movies from this week, it was probably the only film suitable to take her two nephews to.

That should give everyone plenty to choose from until next week when, hopefully, someone gets around to seeing Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem and let's us know if it's any good. Come on, it's got a Predalien in it, how bad could it be?

Aubrey Blaze Piranha 3D: Production To Begin In January 2008 for a Fall 2009 Release

StereoVision is ramping up their 3D movie production schedule and tops on their list is "Audrey Blaze Piranha" (ABP). ABP is a "creature" movie designed to be in-your-face entertainment with piranhas literally jumping off the screen at you.

StereoVision Entertainment is producing 3D movies designed to occupy the now rapidly expanding network of 3D theaters in between the major studio's tentpole (or major) releases.

The film will start production in Puerto Rico in January 2008 for a fall 2009 release.

Well ABP had better be an early fall release as there is a hard stop with Robert Zemeckis' "A Christmas Carol" scaring up holiday excitement on November 6th, 2009 and Dreamworks Animations release of "How To Train Your Dragon" hitting 3D screens November 20th, 2009. Fox's "Ice Age 3" (July 1st, 2009) should be wrapping up their 3D theater run well before early fall.

To me, piranhas seem like an awesome way to scare the crap out of people - I can envision plenty of ways to keep an audience on their toes throughout the duration of the movie! I just hope that it does not go too overboard with the "coming-at-ya" effects. That whole twist on 3D COULD be overdone and I don't want to see that happen. Directors like James Cameron will NOT be over doing these effects as he relies on his story, character development, overall cinematography and realistic CGI to achieve his goals. Goals that audiences love I might add. Let's hope for artistic creativity and not gimmicks. Ok, now that I have said my piece - good luck with the production Stereo Vision! The timing is perfect.

For a full listing of all 3D movies rumored, planned, in production or in theaters - click here.

'Tis the Oscar Season to be Jolly

The following are not Oscar predictions. They are merely an assessment of the Oscar season the way I see it shaping up in my own mind. I'm not saying I think In the Valley of Elah will be nominated for Best Picture, merely that I'd love for such a thing to happen. Obviously my mind will be changing as I see more films. That said, I've seen a lot, including every film on this chart. There are no wild guesses here. I don't need to poll any Academy members to know that Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard will be nominated, but that doesn't necessarily mean I have to lock them into my chart at this point in time. Speaking of which, there seems to be this huge rush amongst Oscar prognosticators to be the first one to anoint someone or something Best This or Best That, to be the first champion in a film or performer's corner. Rather than make educated guesses months in advance, based on films I haven't even seen a single frame of, I'm starting this blog to tell you how the movies that I have seen measure up against each other. Anyways, please note that in some categories, a handful of honorable mentions are made beneath the Top 5 contenders, while my personal favorites are marked with an asterisk.

So who am I and why should you care about what I think? I'm MiraJeff. Who the hell are you? I'm just teasing, folks. The truth is, you shouldn't care what I think at all. What are you even doing reading this? The point is, as William Goldman so famously said, no one knows anything. Especially not at this stage in the game. This blog was started as an act of defiance, a bold, boredom-provoked answer to the hordes of 'expert' prognosticators who are as much in the dark as the rest of us until that magical evening known as Oscar Night. You won't see these predictions or picks or whatever you want to call them anywhere else, either because they suck or because others are afraid to make them. Regardless, these are the names and movies you should be paying attention to. 2007 is shaping up to be a great year for movies. There's a lot of depth this year. Some films are bound to get lost in the shuffle, others will peak at just the right time. The Oscar season is a rollercoaster ride for everyone and I look forward to taking that ride with each and every one of you. My readers. My people. Enjoy!

BEST PICTURE

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*
Grace Is Gone
In the Valley of Elah
There Will Be Blood
Zodiac

(Honorable Mention: 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Control, Into the Wild, No Country for Old Men, Once, Ratatouille, Reservation Road, Things We Lost in the Fire)

BEST DIRECTOR

Paul Thomas Anderson- There Will Be Blood
Ethan and Joel Coen- No Country for Old Men
David Fincher- Zodiac*
Sean Penn- Into the Wild
Julian Schnabel- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

(HM: Susanne Bier, Things We Lost in the Fire; Tim Burton, Sweeney Todd; John Carney, Once; Anton Corbijn, Control; David Cronenberg, Eastern Promises; Andrew Dominik, The Assassination of Jesse James...; Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton; Paul Haggis, In the Valley of Elah; Sidney Lumet, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; James C. Strouse, Grace is Gone; Joe Wright, Atonement)

BEST ACTOR

John Cusack- Grace Is Gone
Daniel Day-Lewis- There Will Be Blood*
Benicio Del Toro- Things We Lost in the Fire
Emile Hirsch- Into the Wild
Tommy Lee Jones- In the Valley of Elah

(HM: Mathieu Amalric, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly; Christian Bale, Rescue Dawn; Don Cheadle, Reign Over Me; George Clooney, Michael Clayton; Russell Crowe, 3:10 to Yuma; Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd; Ryan Gosling, Lars and the Real Girl; Philip Seymour Hoffman, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and The Savages; James McAvoy, Atonement; Joaquin Phoenix, Reservation Road; John C. Reilly, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Sam Riley, Control; Seth Rogen, Knocked Up; Adam Sandler, Reign Over Me; Denzel Washington, American Gangster)

BEST ACTRESS

Helena Bonham Carter- Sweeney Todd
Jodie Foster- The Brave One
Angelina Jolie- A Mighty Heart
Laura Linney- The Savages*
Anamaria Marinca- 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

(HM: Halle Berry, Things We Lost in the Fire; Marketa Irglova, Once; Ashley Judd, Bug; Nicole Kidman, Margot at the Wedding; Keira Knightley, Atonement; Ellen Page, Juno; Charlize Theron, In the Valley of Elah)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Casey Affleck- The Assassination of Jesse James...
Javier Bardem- No Country for Old Men*
Paul Dano- There Will Be Blood
Vlad Ivanov- 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
Max von Sydow- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

(HM: Ashraf Barhom, The Kingdom; Philip Bosco, The Savages; Adrien Brody, The Darjeeling Limited; Chris Cooper, Breach; Russell Crowe, American Gangster; Brian Dierker, Into the Wild; Robert Downey Jr., Zodiac; Albert Finney, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Ben Foster, 3:10 to Yuma; Ed Harris, Gone Baby Gone; Ethan Hawke, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War; Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild; Omar Metwally, Rendition; Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Superbad; Armin Mueller-Stahl, Eastern Promises; Igal Naor, Rendition; Alan Rickman, Sweeney Todd; Mark Ruffalo, Reservation Road; Ed Sanders, Sweeney Todd; Timothy Spall, Sweeney Todd; Denzel Whitaker, The Great Debaters; Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton; Steve Zahn, Rescue Dawn)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Cate Blanchett- I'm Not There*
Jennifer Jason Leigh- Margot at the Wedding
Shelan O'Keefe- Grace is Gone
Amy Ryan- Gone Baby Gone
Susan Sarandon- In the Valley of Elah

(HM: Jennifer Connelly, Reservation Road; Ruby Dee, American Gangster; Kelly Macdonald, No Country For Old Men; Emily Mortimer, Lars and the Real Girl; Samantha Morton, Control; Vanessa Redgrave, Atonement; Saoirse Ronan, Atonement; Meryl Streep, Lions for Lambs; Marisa Tomei, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead)

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days- Cristian Mungiu
The Darjeeling Limited- W. Anderson, R. Coppola, J. Schwartzman
Grace Is Gone- James C. Strouse*
In the Valley of Elah by Paul Haggis
The Savages- Tamara Jenkins

(HM: Steve Zaillian, American Gangster; Kelly Masterson, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof; Diablo Cody, Juno; Judd Apatow, Knocked Up; Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl; Matthew Michael Carnahan, Lions for Lambs; Noah Baumbach, Margot at the Wedding; John Carney, Once; Brad Bird, Ratatouille; Mike Binder, Reign Over Me; Allan Loeb, Things We Lost in the Fire)

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Ronald Harwood, based on the memoir by Jean-Dominique Bauby*
Into the Wild by Sean Penn, based on the book by John Krakauer
No Country for Old Men by Ethan and Joel Coen, based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy
There Will Be Blood by Paul Thomas Anderson, based on Oil! by Upton Sinclair
Zodiac by Jamie Vanderbilt, based on the books by Robert Graysmith

(HM: The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford by Andrew Domink, based on the novel by Ron Hansen; Atonement by Christopher Hampton, based on the novel by Ian McEwan; Gone Baby Gone by Ben Affleck and Aaron Stockard, based on the novel by Dennis Lehane; Reservation Road by Terry George and John Burnham Schwartz, based on the novel by Schwartz)

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Beowulf
Ratatouille*
Surf's Up

Movies I Have a Date With: Lust, Caution

Still to See: Away From Her, The Band's Visit, Beaufort, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Enchanted, Evening, Hairspray, The Kite Runner, Lake of Fire, Love in the Time of Cholera, Man in the Chair, Music Within, The Namesake, No End in Sight, Persepolis, Shrek the Third, Starting Out in the Evening, Stephanie Daley, Talk to Me, This is England, La Vie en rose, Waitress, The Wind That Shakes the Barley, Youth Without Youth

SHORT FEATURE: MR. MAGOO MEETS FRANKENSTEIN

While eyewear plays a big part in this week's feature attraction, not everybody needs it to get by. Case in point, one Quincy Magoo. Can't see his hand in front of his face but always comes out smelling like a rose anyway. What's his secret?

"We walk by faith, not by sight" quotes the Catechism, "we perceive God as "in a mirror, dimly" and only "in part." A man of faith has more ways of seeing than just with his eyes. He has "the interior helps of the Holy Spirit, who moves the heart and converts it to God, who opens the eyes of the mind and 'makes it easy for all to accept and believe the truth."

If Magoo really is an "eyes of the mind" type guy, then maybe he's the only one in the cartoon who truly sees things as they really are while everyone else constantly trips over their own selfish desires which they misconceive as reality.

The Matrix totally ripped off Mr. Magoo.

Bolt 3D: Sneak Peak Photo!

Hey the guys over at First Showing have revealed what seems to be the first glimpse at the dog named Bolt and two companions - have a look:

Thanks Alex!

Avatar: The Game - Ubisoft's Epic to be in 3D?

Interesting rumor. "Surfer Girl" has dropped a bombshell that frankly I had previously posted might happen. Ubisoft will be shipping high quality, stereoscopic 3D glasses with "Avatar The Game" when it is released along with the movie in 2009; hence a 3D gaming environment.

I openly postulated about this premise when we heard that James Cameron's vision of a MMORPG game was passed over for a simpler concept. Well it was simpler at a high level, but add in 3D and you quickly realize why releasing a MMORPG would have been impossible.

It may be a gamble for Cameron and Ubisoft to run down this movie focused 3D gaming path before anyone else, but then again, it will undoubtedly become a brilliant piece of maneuvering. It was Cameron who has the vision of linking gaming environments and movie environments! So it is a natural link to have them both in 3D for Avatar. We just need to get those at-home game level designers to start contributing to the movie sets as well!

Am I going to be getting a copy of this game? You bet. I also have a couple of friends at Ubisoft in Montreal - time to fly off a few emails!

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COMING ATTRACTIONS: THEY LIVE

I hope everyone likes John Carpenter movies, because I like me some John Carpenter movies, and I'm closing out the first year of this blog with a marathon of John Carpenter movies. The next three or four reviews will feature some of the director's lower-budgeted lesser-viewed fare which, not coincidently, happen to be some of my favorites. Let's get the ball rolling with one of the best movies ever made starring a professional wrestler, 1988's They Live.

REVIEW: Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem

Hey, Hollywood genre-producer guys? If you are considering making a movie in which two warring teams of otherworldly creatures stage their conflict down here on Earth and get it in your heads to focus chiefly on the "human story;" speaking as one of your CORE demographics, allow me to paraphrase Mssrs. Simon and Garfunkle and ask that you hear my words that I might teach you: Nobody who's going to see this movie GIVES A SHIT about the humans or their story. This kind of back-asswards overthinking already resulted in "Transformers," the worst movie of 2007, and now results in "AVP:R," an entirely worthy challenger for the title.

Oh, and directors "The Brothers Strause?" I appreciate your fine contributions to the industry as visual effects supervisors on some really wonderful movies. I also appreciate, more to the point, that you probably went to film school and know that framing practical-effects creatures in near-silhouette darkness makes for great production stills and lets you say your making a "classic"-style monster movie in interviews... but here's the thing: EVERYBODY already knows what the Aliens and Predators look like. This is the SEVENTH installment of the now-combined franchise. You're not being visually clever, your just making your movie SUCK MORE.

Here's how we got here: More than a decade ago, an art designer or two on "Predator 2" thought it'd be a fun background gag to include the skull of the title monsters from the "Alien" movies among the alien big-game hunter's trophy collection. The gag spawned a premise - "whoa, the Predator hunting the Alien? AWESOME!!!" - that begat a series of video games, comic books and fandom flights-of-fancy that made an actual FILM based on the idea innevitable as soon as the still-ongoing "Alien" series officially hit the wall; which happened in Part 4.

Enter well-meaning schlock-auteur Paul W.S. Anderson, who had won the hearts of genre fanboys with "Event Horizon" and lost it with "Resident Evil," to step up (and get "it" back) with "Alien Vs. Predator," a big blow-out B-movie epic which all-told was probably YARDS better than anyone should've reasonably expected: Tons of fun, tons of action, a plausible in-continuity reason to "officially" combine the plots of the two franchises and, most-importantly: Scene after scene of Aliens VERSUS Predators. Predators wailing on hordes of Aliens with high-tech hunting gear? Done. Predator infra-red vision to see who's carrying a Chestburster? Done. Predators and Aliens slamming eachother around in bad-ass hand-to-hand brawls? Done. Predator versus a full-charging rampaging Queen Alien? Even THAT was done! All that plus Lance Henriksen and a fun re-visitation of "Chariots of The Gods" for no extra charge.

So, in the immortal words of William Hurt in "A History of Violence".... "How do you fuck that up?"

The sequel opens immediately following the first film, as a Predator ship experiences a nasty Alien outbreak and crashes into a forest surrounding a rural American town. In response, a lone Predator makes tracks for Earth on a mission to eradicate the threat and cover up all evidence, bringing with him a helpful cache of weapons and a MORE helpful total disregard for how many humans he also has to slay in the course of his mission. A wrinkle is added in that the nominal "alpha male" of the rapidly-expanding Alien brood is "Predalien" - a hulking half-Predator/half-Alien bruiser borne of the Aliens' habit of assimilating the characteristics of the species they symbiotically "hatch" from. The small-town Americana under monster-infestation setting is obviously supposed to put us in the mood of "Gremlins" or "Monster Squad," but the execution almost-immediately reeks of lesser offerings like "Masters of The Universe" or "Pod People."

You'd think this kind of setup would be a golden opportunity for an action movie to completely cut loose: The premise explains itself visually in an instant (monster with dreadlocks has to kill all the monsters with big phallic heads) and your instantly dynamic-looking lead characters are all FX creations TOTALLY maleable to filmmaker control (latex rubber doesn't have a "bad skin day") who don't speak any recognizable language. In other words, a film with a perfectly plot-appropriate excuse for dialogue-free FX-spawned carnage. So, naturally, the first thing the film does is pile on the humans and the superfluous story points: Two deliquent brothers, two would-be girlfriends, a bunch of high-school bullies, some cops, etc. Getting the most attention are a little girl and her fresh-home-from-Iraq soldier mom, because it's a franchise tradition that while a Predator will do in a pinch, the only REAL natural enemy of the Alien is a butch mother-figure in a tank top.

The "R" in "AVP:R" officially means "Requiem," but it's REAL reason for being is as a direct advertisement that this sequel hits theatres with an appropriate R-rating, one of the major complaints against the original PG-13 film. These are R-rated characters, yes, so this is very appropriate... but all the gore in the world can't help when it's so poorly photographed and so damned dark all the time. The only scene that honestly seems to earn this designation comes when the Predalien and his fellows make a "snack run" to a hospital Maternity Ward. Gruesome stuff, to be sure, but at this point the film has already lost all but the most undiscerning viewer's interest. PG-13 or not, even the THEATRICAL CUT of the original movie had ten times the solid monster-vs-monster action of this sequel.

Everything is either shot in total darkness or total darkness with a silhouette-creating spotlight behind it, so we never get a good look at ANY of the title monsters or even the megahyped Predalien. Bad CGI, worse acting and a total lack of editorial coherence conspire to craft a film that isn't interesting to look at at any point of it's running time. It's an absolute dud, no two ways about it, and a truly depressing dissapointment.

FINAL RATING: 2/10

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

TAGLINE

Blast off for Mars with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Science-Fun-Fiction at its height!

THE PLOT

After centuries of machine-induced learning and suppression of any frivolous thoughts, the children of Mars (at least the only two we ever see) are becoming zombies. Acting on the advice of their 800 year old sage, the adult Martians set out to kidnap Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to their planet so Martian children can experience the joys of childhood. Complications arise when, along with Santa, the Martians are forced to take captive two Earth children who witnessed their arrival. The eeevil Martian Voldar, who fears the results of introducing fun into Martian society, makes a number of attempts to murder Santa and the kids, but is easily thwarted by a bit of the old Kris Kringle magic. All is not well, however, as Santa learns his captors plan to keep him on Mars... forever (ever...ever...ever). And Christmas is just a few days away! With the precious seconds ticking away, the right jolly old elf must find a way to vanquish Voldar for good, ensure happiness for the Martian children, and get back to Earth in time to make his Christmas Eve run.

THE POINT

No one would have believed in the middle years of the twentieth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences at least one or two points greater than man's and yet as obviously confused as his own. No one gave a thought to the older worlds of space as sources of human danger, because, what with all our telescopes and whatnot, we would have spotted people on Mars years ago. Yet across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and devoid of fashion sense, regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. Those plans were, of course, to steal Santa Claus.

What, you were expecting an invasion of indestructible tripods or something? Not from these Martians, folks. This is a society which is capable of direct insertion of knowledge into the brain, and yet they still sit around all day and watch television programming... even if they have to get it from another planet. This is a society capable of interstellar travel, and yet they still need to place big signs on the machinery of their spacecraft in order to explain its function... signs written in Earth English no less. This is a society which ultimately approves of Dropo as an acceptable replacement for Santa Claus; Dropo, a mentally impaired Joe Besser wannabe already singled out as the laziest man on Mars. This is a society which has invented the Tickle Ray... for what purposes I don't even want to know. When you get right down to it, the society of Mars as depicted in this movie is basically Idiocracy, except with really, REALLY stupid people.

It's the only explanation for the decisions they make regarding their children. That, or they just plain hate them. And it's not just the whole hooking them up to a machine to learn thing. (We've already started doing that on Earth with the Internet.) Nor is it the replacement of chocolate cake with flavored food pellets. (Dippin' Dots anyone?) And it's probably not even the lack of proper physical affection. (The Martian equivalent of a hug goodnight is apparently a head-butt.) No, these things are just symptoms of the main problem which is, bluntly stated, that Martians plain suck at being parents.

You get your first hint of this at the very beginning of the film when the camera pans back from a news report on Santa to show Girmar and Bomar (Girl Martian and Boy Martian? That's you're script, folks.) watching the show on Mars. Their father Kimar expresses his dissatisfaction over his children watching these Earth shows, but not once does he simply reach over and cut the TV off. What's the deal? These guys can sick a killer robot on Santa and callously blast Mrs. Claus and the elves with paralysis rifles, but they're afraid to tell their own kids to change the channel? Even if they don't want to confront the kids directly, the Martians demonstrate radar blocking technology (at least that's what the big sign on the machine says it does), you would think they could at least come up with parental blocks to filter out objectionable content on television. But no, they just let the kids keep sitting in front of the tube watching programming which is obviously detrimental to their mental well-being.

This monumental lack of display of parental authority is immediately followed up by some, shall we say, questionable role modeling. Rather than addressing the situation by spending some time with their children and working out a meaningful solution, the Martian adults (even their so-called wise man) decide to throw toys at the problem. They even go so far as to kidnap an old man and force him into slave labor just to make them. Now that's parenting!

The kids aren't buying it, however. After about a hour of this kind of nonsense in which the children are force fed Santa as a solution to their depression, all the while being constantly badgered to laugh at increasingly unfunny jokes and puns (This is no exaggeration. Watch this video [if you dare] to see every laugh in the movie condensed into a three minute video and you'll see what I mean.), the kids have had enough. In a scene which could easily be set to the strains of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It!", Santa arms the children with toys and lets them loose in an effort to subdue Volmar. It's a scene full of quick cuts and lots of movement, but through the magic of DVD single-frame advance you can see what's actually going on. In short, these kids go (to borrow a term from our pal Father Erik over at Orthometer) batshit crazy as years of frustration are poured out onto an unsuspecting Volmar. Look at the picture at the top of this post and tell me I'm lying.

A 2006 study entitled "Parents and Peers in Relation to Early Adolescent Problem Behavior" found that "the correlation between inadequate parenting control was more strongly associated with youths' internalizing problems (e.g. depression and unhappiness) than with externalizing problems (e.g. antisocial behavior)." And we see that somber disposition in the Martian children juxtaposed with wishy-washy parents right from the very beginning of the film. Oh sure, having just beaten Volmar into a near pulp, the kids are all smiles at the end of the movie. But for how long? The spastic nightmare that is Dropo Claus is ultimately no substitute for a strong and involved father.

"The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children" claims the Catechism, "but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation... Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society." Everything starts at home. And with the family holding such a place of importance, it's only fitting that immediately following the celebration of the birth of Christ, we are asked to contemplate our individual roles as members of a family. With the occasional exception, the first Sunday after Christmas is set aside by the Church for the celebration of the Feast of the Holy Family. As Rev. Bernard Strasser, O.S.B. explains, "The general breakdown of the family... at the end of the past century and at the beginning of our own, prompted the popes, especially the far-sighted Leo XIII, to promote the observance of this feast with the hope that it might instill into Christian families something of the faithful love and the devoted attachment that characterize the family of Nazareth. The primary purpose of the Church in instituting and promoting this feast is to present the Holy Family as the model and exemplar of all Christian families."

That seems like a tall order, asking us to contemplate on how to mold our families into a version of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. But I invite you again to take a look at the picture at the top of this blog and contemplate on just what could happen if we don't.

THE STINGER

"In the Gospel we do not find speeches on the family but an event that is worth more than any word: God willed to be born and to grow up in a human family. In this way, He has consecrated the family as the first and ordinary way of His encounter with humanity." - Pope Benedict XVI speaking on the Feast of the Holy Family in 2006.

THE TEN BEST MOVIES OF 2007

Tedious and predictable, I know - and for a change I'm not talking about "Transformers." No, it's list time. No big difference from everyone else here, my 2007 Top Ten, organized last to first, with the usual disclaimer that as I'm not a professional film critic nor located in France, Los Angeles, New York or Austin there are certain "big" entries I haven't gotten to see yet: Principally "Kite Runner" and "There Will Be Blood."

One additional disclaimer: The ACTUAL best film I saw in 07, in addition to being easily my favorite of the year, was Paul Verhoeven's "Black Book." However, as it was technically released and Oscar-submitted in 2006 I did not officially include it. You, however, should still see it as it's a future classic and the best movie The Mad Dutchman has made since "Robocop," which incidentally is indeed my favorite movie ever.

So, on with it:

10. DRAGON WARS
Around here, movies are graded by how they PLAY, not on their intentions. Hyung Rae-Shim apparently intended his megabudget, nine-years-in-production "Dragon Wars" as South Korea's foray into the realm of global "tentpole" blockbusters, but the end result is something else entirely: Cheezy-as-hell, bafflingly-silly and, well.. something simply beautiful to behold - a real, honest-to-god, no-irony-about-it Asian Giant Monster Movie with all the outsized imagination, near-surreal incoherence and seemingly-shanghai'd actors any genre entry worth it's salt could ever want. Giant snakes constrict skyscrapers, dinosaurian behemoths launch shoulder-mounted missiles, winged reptiles dogfight with attack choppers and armored Feudal Korean demon knights march through hails of US Army bullets. It's the visual poetry that monster-loving boys devour, the stuff of which Movie Geeks are born.

9. RESCUE DAWN
In a year where the American political scene tore itself apart as Left and Right battled to see who could make a more astonishing asshole of themselves preening and posturing about the meaning of "patriotism" and what it "really" means to love their country; a German fringe-film icon and a British actor teamed up to release the most honest, simple (but not simplistic) and genuine ode to The American Spirit in years... in a fact-based Vietnam movie, no less! Shooting a man-vs-wild epic of psychological breakdown and physical triumph smack dab in the Forest Primeval with a star who lives and breathes physical transformation, Werner Herzog is in his element; while Christian Bale may finally have met the director who's intensity can match his own.

8. EASTERN PROMISES
David Croneberg cuts every single shred of fat from the Gangster Movie formula and hands us the leanest, sharpest and most efficiently-satisfying "crime-picture" in years. Not a frame, line, scene or idea is wasted in this narrative Blitzkreig of a Russian Mob drama, with Viggo Mortensen topping himself yet again, Naomi Watts oozing sex and sympathy and Armin Muehler-Stahl in an Oscar-worthy bad guy turn for the ages.

7. BEOWULF
Barbarian Fantasy finally came roaring back to life in the wake of Zack Snyder's super-fun "300," but Robert Zemeckis' bawdy 3D animation-for-adults epic was the more satisfying mind-bender; with awesome action scenes, a slick script from Roger Avary and Neil Gaiman and a vision so grandly realized that jaw-dropper monster battles can compete with a near-naked Angelina Jolie for arousal-inducing spectacle.

6. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
After changing television, the sitcom, animation and pop-culture history forever over the course of 20-and-counting brilliant seasons, "The Simpsons" finally manage to hit theatres big time by going back to basics: Comical eco-disaster in Springfield, recklessly-impulsive nuttiness from Homer, smart-alecky antics from Bart and Lisa, put-upon stoicism from Marge. Took long enough, and every bit worth the extra polish.

5. GRINDHOUSE
Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez turned the IV-drip off and finally gave their exploitation-film creative power source to audiences straight-up. The result? A work of Movie Geek nirvana the re-drew the line between Those Who "Get It" and Everyone Else. Zombies, car chases, babes, blood and beasts pack 200 movies worth of memorable moments into 2 movies worth of running time.

4. REIGN OVER ME
Mike Binder at last crafts a movie that lives up to his ambitions and unique view of the world; a heart-rending examination of the personal crisis that must be solved and the personal problems that probably can't be amid the most affecting vision yet of Post-911 New York existance. Adam Sandler sheds every scrap of armor and irony as a man slowly killing himself in an attempted descent into madness, while Don Cheadle re-establishes his considerable dramatic credibility as the only man who may be able to bring him back... or at least help him learn to exist where he is.

3. ZODIAC
David Fincher makes his best film, and possibly the best Serial Killer mystery ever, breaking down in mezmerizing detail the maze-like history of the hunt for the Zodiac Killer. Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo and Jake Gyllehaal give some of their best work ever amid flawless period detail and some of the year's most intense moments. A total package from top to bottom.

2. THE MIST
It's Frank Darabont doing John Carpenter doing Stephen King doing H.P. Lovecraft, and it's a top-flight creature feature masquerading as a pitch-black human drama... or maybe thats the other way around. Whatever else it may be, "The Mist" is dynamite moviemaking no two ways about it. Thomas Jane leads the good guys as they battle a monster-concealing weather anomally that comes complete with land-squids, giant bugs, flying lizards... and a rapidly-unraveling religious nutcase who might be more dangerous than all of them.

1. GONE BABY, GONE
All is forgiven for Ben Affleck, onetime punchline and current maker of the Best Movie of 2007. An authentic, grim and harshly-realistic vision of Boston crime and punishment; framed around a private detective (Casey Affleck) who's moral sturdiness gets put to an ultimate test investigating the conspiracies that spin out of a little girl's kidnapping. Featuring stellar work from all involved, and a breakout turn from Amy Ryan as an unlikable yet human mother at the center of the storm.

Blender 3D: New "Peach" Images!

Check 'em out! More about this "open source" feature 3D movie here.

Avatar's Michelle Rodriguez To Start Jail Term Today

Unfortunately for Michelle Rodriguez and her family, she must start her 6 month jail term today - Christmas Eve. The impact on the Avatar shooting schedule is still relatively unknown except for the obvious delays that were encountered at the beginning of the project for several weeks. I am not sure if time off for good behavior is a possibility but I would bet that it is.

James Cameron has already shuffled his shooting schedule around this "hard stop" of one of his stars - let's hope the impact to the movie is minimal as well as to her family. Call backs would be a possibility now as well with the release date pushed back to December 2009. Hmmm, another contributing factor to the launch delay?

REVIEW: Charlie Wilson's War

In the opening credits of "Charlie Wilson's War," an Afghan Muslim in traditional robes recites prayerss on his knees in stark black sillhouette against a picture-book starry sky, the moon framed in the upper left-hand corner in the perfect crescent shape of the traditional Islamic holy symbol. The figure then stands, revealing in his hands a shoulder-mounted rocket-launcher which he arms, aims and fires... straight at the audience.

It's probably the most jarring, politically-incorrect Title Sequence since James Bond starting projecting his credits onto reclining, gun-toting nude models; but it sets the tone of the piece perfectly: Here's a politically-saavy "dramedy" that approaches Cold War skullduggery, covert wars and the rise of terrorism with all the same martini-lubricated flippancy with which "The Thin Man" series once treated murder-solving. It's three main characters start off as, respectively, a booze-guzzling, skirt-chasing, favor-trading Congressman (Tom Hanks,) a blunt, bitter, bullheaded spy (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and an ice-blooded, manipulative, hypocritical religious zealot (Julia Roberts) and more-or-less remain that way - the tale isn't so much about their growth (or lack thereof) as it is about them finding a situation where their eclectic skill-sets were actually useful in the doing - or at least attempting - of a genuine good.

Hanks is Charlie Wilson, a Reagan-era Texas Congressman who lives to indulge the benefits of representing a district small and well-off enough to not need anything of him: He goes to the best parties, sits on the most important committees, has the most important friends. His office is staffed entirely by alarmingly beautiful secretaries who could each easily be mistaken for the strippers and Playmates he staffs the REST of his life with. Roberts is Joanna Harring, a Texas billionairess who's "found Jesus" and committed her fortune to the cause of beating back The Godless Commies at any cost - including breaking the odd Commandment, circumventing the odd international law and sleeping with the odd Texas Congressman. Hoffman is Gust Avrakatos, a world-weary CIA sad-sack who can't quite believe that THESE two people are the magic-ingredients needed for the operation he's been DYING to launch, but he's willing to try it.

The problem with the Cold War is that Americans, now more than ever, prefer their history to A.) have a narrative and B.) have a SIMPLE narrative. We like clear wins over unambiguous evil decided by grand, heroic gestures. Well, the Cold War didn't work that way, it worked this way: Two superpowers stood across from one another, fists balled up, sneering and eyes ablaze like mortal enemies at the midpoint of "Dragonball Z" season, until the side that didn't believe in money, er... ran out of money and had to give up. That just won't do. So ever since, dwellers of the political "Right" have been telling themselves (and anyone else who'll listen) a reassuring bedtime story about how Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher and The Pope beat down The Eeeeevil Empire all by themselves. To an extent, "Charlie Wilson's War" represents a late-in-coming attempt by dwellers of the political "Left" (screenplay by Aaron Sorkin!) to get a bedtime story of their own out of it - one in which a girl-crazy, super-slick Southern Democrat (hmm... who's THAT supposed to remind us of?) used his Austin Powers-style diplomacy to turn the Afghan Invasion into Gorby's Waterloo. Both versions are, of course, staggeringly-simplified history-as-mythology, and so long as the movie is entertaining there's really nothing wrong with it.

The film imagines Wilson as a good-time party boy who undergoes a gradual shift-of-focus as the images of Soviet-overrun Afghanistan start to trickle across his radar. Soon enough, he's realizing that his cushy seats and well-made friends on precisely every committee one would need to run a covert war; right around the time that Roberts' Harring starts asking him to do just that. Gust fills in the final piece of the puzzle, providing the services of himself and a small cadre of fellow action-hungry CIA vets looking to actually do something about the Russians. It's Shadow Government cloak-and-dagger warmaking as bachelor party planning, with Charlie as the sly-dog host who's sentimental enough to wrangle the vote of a key legislator by flying him to visit a blighted Afghan refugee camp; but worldly enough to know that nothing beats a talented bellydancer to break the ice during a tense meeting between Israeli, Pakistani and Egyptian arms dealers.

Given that it's a politically-themed film about the Middle East primarly made by famous Democrat supporters, there's been the usual predictable outcry from "conservatives" about the film - apparently, only THEY wish to be allowed the privilige of cherry-picking Cold War history for self-affirmation - coming with the usual claim that it's "propaganda" (which is sorta true, but I don't need to hear that from the folks who've been hyping "In The Face of Evil" for two damn years) and that it ultimately "blames America for terrorism."

That last part is especially false, and in a way the fact that it never ONCE comes anywhere CLOSE to doing that is something close to a problem with the final film: It's third act seems marginally truncated, as though it's building toward a definitive "oh by the way" about what some Afghanis may or may not have gone on to do with all those shiny new guns they still had once the Russians had been expelled that never really arrives. In fact, there's only ONE reference to you-know-what-future-date, a subtle but chilling aural detail that drifts by in the background noise of a single key scene.

Still, a just-this-short-of-great third act doesn't keep the rest of the film from great entertainment, the sort of grand smart-dialogue-for-everybody ideal that Sorkin excells in when he keeps the moralizing under control. Mike Nichols is a veteran who knows his way around a movie and manages the trick of making Sorkin-specialty walk-n-talks, cigars-and-brandy scheming, big-scale Afghan action scenes and the verbal slapstick of Charlie's secretary-squad all seem like parts of the same tonal piece.

This is a light, breezy, sharp-witted and whip-smart comedy that manages to encompass the realm of politics without being either too much of an attack OR too much self-congratulation. Oh, there's a little of both to be sure; but it's prodding with elbows - not daggers. If you come out of "Charlie Wilson's War" feeling either like you've been "attacked" or like patting yourself on the back; chances are you need to get over yourself.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

Coraline 3D: Awesome New Teaser Clip!

Coraline is an exciting new animation coming out in the latter half of 2008 starring the voices of Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Ian McShane and Keith David. The story revolves around a little girl who discovers a secret portal to a parallel but slightly different universe. The animation in this film is striking and of course by adding in that third dimension we are really going to be in for a treat.

Check out this awesome new teaser clip from Neil Gaiman.

SCAR 3D: Interview With Norman Twain, Producer

As requested by readers, I have some more info about the upcoming live action 3D horror film, Scar 3D. Norman Twain is the producer of Scar 3D and I had the opportunity to discuss the movie with him as well as details on his 3D technology and upcoming projects:

MarketSaw: Norman, you have an impressive background in the business - what has led you to producing "Scar"? This is your first 3D effort?

NT: After "Spinning Into Butter", which to some extent was a horror story in itself in the making of it, I decided I wanted to divert from the films and plays I had previously done and do a horror film. I'd be lying if I didn't say that the commercial applicability of horror pictures was an attractive lake to go swimming in, not knowing at the time that there were monsters lurking in the bottom of the lake. I was asked to see a demonstration by a minor 3D operator in New York, and one minute into the demonstration I knew Scribble Face, which was the title of Scar at that time, should be done in 3D. Then, the project took on a new life and a new challenge to become the first live-action 3D horror film in the emerging state of 3D. Incidentally, that new emergence has continued, and nobody is denying that 3D has been around forever. But nevertheless, it is having a rebirth today and Scar is on the cutting edge of all movies made.

MarketSaw: There has been some very exciting technological developments in the 3D movie industry in recent years - I have heard that you are using the same technology that James Cameron is using for "Avatar" currently shooting in New Zealand; exactly what equipment do you mean - the cameras, software or perhaps the entire Cameron/Pace Fusion System?

NT: With Jed Weintrob, my director, and Christian Bruun, my 3D maven, we looked at a lot of rigs, including that rig where I first saw that 3D presentation. We decided from a financial point of view and an experience point of view that the best rig for us was from NHK in Japan, which consisted of two Sony-950s mounted and converged on a platform. For so many reasons, this was the best situation for us. We talked to Pace as well as Sklar, not knowing what their rigs were, and after we made our deal, we found out that Cameron was using virtually the same rig. We took from nobody, except NHK. We never thought once of the Cameron/Pace team or the Zemeckis team, and we made our film with our rig and Cameron and Pace are making theirs. It's not going to matter what rig anybody uses. It will depend on the story and the audience reaction to the story.

MarketSaw: Was the Cameron/Pace team involved any further than providing the technology?

NT: As I said, the Cameron/Pace team, or whatever you would call them, did nothing whatsoever to provide us with the technology. We saw the NHK rig in the Consumer Electronic Show in Las Vegas and starting our negotiations with NHK New York and made the deal without even meeting the camera team, who came from Tokyo.

MarketSaw: Scar is being credited as the first released, live action 3D HD movie ever. That is quite an undertaking! What can you tell me about the hurtles that you had to jump in order to get this project made?

NT: The hurdles were comparatively simple, because candidly we didn't know what the hurdles were. We did this independently, and for all intents and purposes green-lighted our own film. In answer to your question, we're still hurdling. Doing something new is always difficult. I doubt if we were a studio picture I could have gotten it made within the time frame we did, because what people don't know, they're afraid of. With information supplied to me by Jed, Christian, my co-producer Dan Hank and NHK, I made every decision and, fortunately, got lucky.

MarketSaw: What can you tell me about the storyline of Scar? Any teasers that you care to share?

NT: Scar has a simple storyline. Sixteen years ago, a high-school girl was lucky enough to escape from the torture chamber of a serial killer and, in that escape, violently killed that killer. Now, she returns for the first time to her hometown, and murders start occurring as if that same killer is back again. It's a bloody and disgusting mess. But I think fun.

MarketSaw: Thomas Jane is also filming in 3D HD right now in New Mexico for his movie "The Dark Country" - I know he is using one of the best 3D experts Hollywood has ever produced as a consultant to assist him in the shooting - did your Scar team use a 3D veteran as a consultant?

NT: Thomas is directing? Who is the consultant? And is it a consultant such as a stereographer type, or somebody who just is knowledgeable about 3D? In our case, we had the Japanese, who I would say are as experienced as anybody in terms of stereography and 3D. Additionally, I had Christian Bruun, my co-producer who has been involved in 3D and this technology for year. Jed Weintrob, my director, was no slouch either, and his knowledge was very helpful. Through Jed and Christian, we had a pipeline to Joshua Greer, Lenny Lipton, and Robert Turner, three major honchos at Real D (it was Lenny who invented the Real D polarizer). So, yes, I'd say we were very well staffed as far as expertise goes.

MarketSaw: Yes, Jane is directing for the first time and it is in 3D. Jane had John Rupkalvis on the set (whom I have interviewed here) and many others like Ray Zone and Geoff Boyle.

NT: John Rupkalvis was hired years ago by Dan Symmes as Dan's assistant. I've never worked with him. Dan can give more info as needed. I've never worked with Ray Zone on any production, but he has been a figure in 3-D for years. I first met him at the local L.A. Stereoscopic Club meetings back in the '80's. He and Dan are somewhat known as 3D historians, having both published books, etc. And the only thing I know about Geoff Boyle is he's a cinematographer on the "Dark Country" independent. Jane is a smart guy, and I'm sure he researched well. My reference of experts are all different. Maybe I should meet these guys.

MarketSaw: What was it like working with Angela Bettis, Christopher Titus and the rest of the cast? Any stories to share? Were there any other actors attached at some point that didn't stick?

NT: Angela Bettis is not only, in my opinion, one of the best, most underrated actresses around, but also just a sensational person. She's the only actress I know I just enjoy hanging out with. To say she's a pro would be underestimating the situation. She's also very reasonable when it comes to knowing what her job is and how important just doing the movie is. Christopher I didn't know that well. Unfortunately, he was right in the middle of an awful divorce when he was shooting. He also was in and out on days that he didn't shoot, but all in all, I found him also a real pro. I'd be happy to work with him again. It goes without saying about Angela. There were no firings and no actor hired that didn't stick. Jed and Aaron casted very competently. The only problem I think we had was with a mother of one of the younger actors who was, candidly, a pain in the ass. The daughter would be emancipated soon, and I'd use her again in a second, but not as long as the mom's around.

MarketSaw: For me, horror movies have gotten a little "been there, done that" lately and my opinion is that the industry was moving more and more to gore and shock value to generate excitement in the audience. Sort of a Roman coliseum effect where people demanded more and more blood for entertainment because they had all seen it before. But now with 3D and the immersive factor of almost being there when the blade is dropped - how are test audiences reacting?

NT: I don't disagree with your assumption about horror, but because we're in 3D, we're in good shape. The test audiences in the 19 to 25 demographic are liking the hell out of the film. Younger than 19 can't get in, and older than 25, I don't even know what they're doing there. But the testing we've done has been very positive.

MarketSaw: By adding 3D, you are essentially adding a ton of age groups! I know I will go see this pic whereas I would not have in 2D.

Have you signed on a distributor yet for next year? Any date or time frame you have in mind for the release?

NT: Getting close on a distributor for the United States and Canada. We hope to be in the streets in April. It's been tough -- two deals busted at the closing, and there have been a lot of turn-downs. But we're on track for April. Foreign-wise, the film has sold very well in Europe: Russia, Spain and Portugal, etc.

MarketSaw: You mentioned that you have another exciting 3D project coming up that is still untitled - a thriller about a group of teenagers that find themselves trapped in a deserted and now underground Eastern European factory who are being pursued by a character called "The Hunter". What can you tell my readers about this project? What technology are you using? Casting ideas? Will it follow in the isolated and brutal mold of the "Hostel" series?

NT: The untitled project is not a horror film, but a PG thriller also to be shot in 3D. It's about urban explorers. We'll use similar technology to what we used in SCAR, but not the Japanese crew. As I said, it's a thriller, as opposed to a torture picture, so it will be nowhere near HOSTEL.

MarketSaw: Can you give any ideas about casting? When do you go to shooting? Release window?

NT: I don't have a title for the project. I call it the "Untitled Urban Explorer Film". We intend to shoot around April 1st, and that could get kicked back a few weeks for the availability of a star. The first casting idea we all had that I could mention to you is Ellen Page. She was an idea from "Hard Candy". Since neither my director or writers or me are her best friends, we'll never see Ms. Page in 103 of makeup for our film. She's just in huge orbit. We wouldn't even talk to her connections. Too unrealistic. But then there are the other ten who do make sense. I like Amber Tamblyn, but she's busy, and I like Danielle Panabaker, but I believe she is tied up, too. So it will be one of those beauties. Don't know who. For the lead male, believe it or not, I was thinking Thomas Jane. But all we're having now is thoughts, not going out to anybody presently. After the first of the year, we make big moves. It will be in 3D and will again appeal mostly to the 17-30 audience.

MarketSaw: Where do you see the 3D industry headed in the next few years? What sort of 3D features would like to see get done?

NT: I think, in moderation, the films that are in 3D will attract a larger audience than if they were in 2D. I personally think that the only films that should be considered to be done in 3D are horror films, thrillers or martial arts. 3D would enhance any film, but, candidly, why? Take Peter Jackson's RING series -- it might have done a trifle more business if it were in 3D, but it was unnecessary. KING KONG probably would have been a better film if he did it in 3D. I saw a clip of SINGING IN THE RAIN in 3D -- what's the point? For me, thrillers and martial arts would be all, I would think, should be done in 3D.

MarketSaw: I will have to agree to disagree on that one Norman! I really want to see Jackson's movies in 3D.

NT: We're on the same page. You're not the typical audience, but more of a professionally-oriented 3D audience. You would be interested in seeing most films in 3D. It's got to be a case by case.

MarketSaw: Kind of. I have always been interested in 3D and bringing the movie-going experience much closer to reality. MarketSaw's audience is really interested in 3D and the direction that Hollywood is taking, but there is still some confusion out there: Many people believe that all 3D movies are going to look like the 'performance capture' Beowulf! Justifiably so, as there is nothing else out in the theaters yet that will tell them otherwise. How would you best describe what we are going to see in Scar that will embed some realization about live action 3D?

NT: This is a difficult question. Candidly, BEOWULF flopped. However, its 3D numbers were quite impressive. That has to tell you something. 3D will create a more compelling environment. That's all. It's never going to make a bad film good, and if a film is good and really good, then it doesn't need 3D. I'm very cynical about this, and I find myself kind of ashamed at saying while my original intent of doing SCAR in 3D was terrific and correct, the fact that it's in 3D is saving our ass.

MarketSaw: Lastly Norman, if you were giving advice to a young filmmaker wanting to create 3D movies, what would you say to them?

NT: The advice that I'd give to a young filmmaker is to just get a job wherever you can and keep working with your eyes and your ears open as hard as you can. Move from one job to another, and don't waste any time asking people for advice.

Link: www.scarthemovie.com

REVIEW: Sweeny Todd (2007)

That Tim Burton is easily the mainstream Hollywood filmmaker most doggedly devoted to artifice is really saying something when you consider how much of the blockbuster game is now inhabited by folks like McG, Brett Ratner and (of course) Michael Bay who pump out astonishingly flat, empty, wholly unreal material with the efficiency of a Terminator going down the "Connor" section of the Yellow Pages. And yet he is, and the difference is that he does it WELL, with real purpose and is often willing to go all the way. He continues to have a visual fondness... well, fetish really... for expressionistic sets that look like sets, slathered-on makeup that looks like makeup and elaborate compositions that look like compositions. The characters in "Sweeny Todd" don't wear clothing, they wear costumes. They wield weaponry and own knick-knacks that weren't manufactured, they were art designed. And when they're cut, they bleed not blood or even "FX blood" but rather gushing torrents of Fire Engine Red paint.

Given that, it's somewhat surprising that he's taken this long to direct a full-on musical, a genre so obviously suited to his above-described talents and fascinations. It becomes easier to understand when one keeps in mind the scarcity of musicals grounded in the realm of gothic horror, particularly the realm of gothic horror movies that informs so much of Burton's cinematic persona. "Sweeny" does, and so here we have the kind of tremendously wonderful movie that results when a filmmaker and project seem almost frighteningly perfect for one another.

There probably was no "real" Sweeny Todd, but the character (short version: mid-1900s serial-killer London barber) is one of those creations of popular fiction so indelible that no one can really pinpoint exactly where he originated - in print, urban myth or otherwise. Stephen Sondheim based his 1979 musical version around one of the more romanticized variations on the story, casting the Demon Barber as the new alias of one Benjamin Barker, a simple man who was wrongly imprisoned so that a corrupt judge could ensnare and rape his wife. He returns to London 15 years later with his new name, a fully-formed psychopathy and a revenge plan that soon branches out into a murder spree: He slashes the throats of his wealthy customers, then drops the bodies through a trap door so that his accomplice Mrs. Lovett can bake the evidence into meat pies to feed her poverty-class customers.

It's a "slasher musical," really, but without the level of smug self-awareness that you'd think would be both inherent and ultimately fatal to it. What it has instead is a sense of self-acknowledgment, an altogether different thing. What ultimately killed, say, "Rent" for me isn't simply the prospect of a jaunty, dancey musical about faux-hemian transients slowly dying of AIDS, but the fact that it refuses to even slightly acknowledge the incongruity of that description: It actually wants to be taken as seriously as a heart-attack, lisping transvestite in a Santa costume and all. "Sweeny Todd," on the other hand, suffers no such delusions. It's infused with understanding and acknowledgement, right down to it's core, that the staging of a big showy Broadway song and dance show about murder and cannibalism is essentially a big, long morbid JOKE; and the comfortable honesty it has about this bleeds (you'll pardon the pun) into the characters and story arcs allowing them to have depth and emotion that's real, affecting and honest... even if it IS all part of the joke.

Having good actors helps, having good actors "in-synch" with their director helps more: Johnny Depp has been Tim Burton's (human) muse since Edward Scissorhands, and while he's not quite working at "Ed Wood" levels as Todd he's about as perfectly matched to Burton's vision of the material as you could ask anyone to be - he's not afraid to be scary and largely unsympathetic, which is the key to a role like this. It's a diffcult trick, finding a way around a lead character who enters the film as a revenge-haunted spectre looking only to slay the Judge (Alan Rickman) who made him what he is but then turns to mass-murder mostly out of impotent rage at his innability to do so... but Depp goes at it with both barrells, giving us a Sweeny Todd who - despite all the singing - comes off a lot closer to Freddy Krueger or Dr. Phibes than the Phantom of The Opera.

Helena Bonham Carter gets Mrs. Lovett, and while it's easy to roll one's eyes at Burton once more putting his girlfriend in a lead role the plain fact of the matter is that she's a fine actress and really well suited to the part. It's at first jarring to see the character, usually imagined as kind of a worn-down Dickensian "fishwife" type, looking more like a Goth pinup fallen on hard times, but it turns out to be the right move for a movie adaptation: Mrs. Lovett may be, ultimately, every bit the monster than Sweeny Todd is, but her evil carries more tragedy in that she doesn't share his eyes-wide-open self-awareness - she tempers her insanity with her pathetic schoolgirl crush on Todd, all the way to the ludicrous fantasy that they could form some sort of working family unit along with the orphan waif (newcomer Ed Sanders, and what a find he turns out to be!) they've taken in to help with the booming pie business. If ever there was a screen role ideally suited to Carter's porceline doll features, big haunted eyes and natural skill at filling out the expected corset, this is the one.

Neither Depp or Carter are singers by profession, and it shows, and they don't try to hide it. It becomes a sort of extra-level of stylization. The film boils Sondheim's thundering big-stage ballads down to angry, rapid-fire spoken-word essays set to music. Depp's Sweeny doesn't croon, he howls; while Carter's Lovett has a voice that must've been lovely before life beat it into submission, much like her. On the other hand, Sanders has such a strong singing voice that when he actually uses it it's a little bit jarring - adding the perfect punctuation of "there's more to this one than meets the eye" to his key scene: Serenading Mrs. Lovett with the closest thing she's probably going to get to the devotion she wants. It's essential that this moment turn the boy into the lone member of the principal cast unambiguously worth rooting for, and he makes it happen.

There's also a more conventional love story going on between a young Sailor and Joanna, Todd's now-grown daughter currently being kept as the ward/prisoner of the Judge. This is the least interesting part of the show, and the show knows it: The two generic lovebirds aren't aware that they're situation only exists to ramp up the stakes and provide deus-ex-machina for the more interesting pack of nutcases at the center of storm - but WE are, which lends the appropriate level of sadism to their otherwise excruciatingly sentimental scenes together. Oh, and Timothy Spall is here too. Because, really, it'd be MORE surprising if he weren't.

Who knows if this bold experiment in Burton Unbound will actually work as a cinematic success. After all, gorehounds and musical theatre buffs aren't exactly common bedfellows. It's easily the most jagged genre-mix since "Fight Club" announced itself as a combination of existential philosophy and pit-fighting, but hopefully it'll find more immediate fans instead of having to wait for DVD. But, instant-classic or cult-classic-to-be, the point is it's a major achievement: Tim Burton's most fully-formed movie since "Ed Wood" and one of the best films of the year.

FINAL RATING: 10/10