Land of The Lost (2009)

So, "Land of The Lost" is the first official outright BOMB of the Summer... huge, huge dissapointment at the boxoffice. Having seen it, I'm honestly not surprised. It's a huge mess, fundamentally inconsequential and aimed at a shockingly miniscule niche of an audience... that's a recipe for a non-starter if I ever heard one.


Strange, too, since you'd think this would be a slam dunk: The original Sid & Marty Kroft TV show it was based on is the definition of a fondly-remembered kiddie show that just does NOT "hold up" now, but it was a success in it's day and is remembered by it's now-grown young fans based more on what it COULD have been rather that what it was. Here was a series that pakced youth-oriented survival-adventure, time-travel, pulpy scifi, dinosaurs, monsters and oddball ancient mysteries into a story that could easily make for a big fun family "genre" film perfect for summer... a kid-friendly self-contained cousin to "Lost."


The film, though, goes in the opposite direction: Rather than revamping the franchise for a new generation of the youngin's it was aimed at in the first place, it's set up as a self-aware parody of the original show aimed at 30-somethings who recall the original with ironic fondness.

As it stands, what winds up onscreen is a collection of comedy sketches spoofing the sillier parts of the show, with Will Ferrel, Anna Friel and Danny McBride engaging in longform stream-of-consciousness banter amid dinosaurs, lizard-men and whatever. In terms of tone, think "Robot Chicken" - only not very funny and stretched out from a quick 15 minutes to an interminable feature-length.

Taken on their own, a couple of the jokes are funny and the cast has an easygoing chemistry, but they can't overcome a "screenplay" thay overdoses on the laziest form of comedy filammking: The main cast just standing around going back and forth about nonsense to advance the plot. It even resorts to a "drug tripping" sequence, and I'm legitimately SHOCKED at how often I checked my watch during an endless scene of Ferrell engaging in slapstick with a jug of dinosaur urine.

There's really no reason for anyone to go see this. A night at the movies for this will run you about 20 bucks, a night at home with some youtube clips of the show and a case of bear will cost a lot less and will give you EXACTLY the same effect.