Transformers 2

All things going well, you'll see a full review from me... soon. But since there's only so much time in the world, a few immediate things:

#1: You're off the hook, "Batman & Robin." This is the new bar, the absolute bottom-rung of blockbuster filmmaking. One of the worst films I hope to ever see. There are no words to describe it... ineptness on a grand scale, not a single solitary working part. It's a monument to everything wrong not only in Hollywood, not only in filmmaking, but in the world... in human nature... in life itself. The production of this film should be considered a kind of crime against the human race, something that everyone involved will one day have to answer for someday, in some way.

#2: As to the film's single-biggest "issue" in the media at the moment, r.e. "The Twins." For those who've not yet seen or heard, the most-prominently-featured "new" Transformers are a bickering matched pair who... well, there's no other way to say this properly... they're Robo-Sambos, mechanized versions of the black "minstrel" stereotype from the turn of the century. As far as I'm concerned, there is no arguing this point - it's not even as abiguous as Jar-Jar might've been. They have big-lipped, google-eyed, floppy-eared monkey faces, they speak in exaggerated ebonics, they stumble, bumble and fight among themselves, they joke about being illiterate and one of them has a single gold tooth. It is without exaggeration the most horrifying racist caricature I've seen (unironically) onscreen in my lifetime. There's no justifying this, no parsing it. If you really needed more evidence as to the absolute cancerous effect of Michael Bay upon Hollywood, you have it now. I can only take some solace that the outrage over these characters might be what it finally takes to bring him down.