


The "hook" here, if you haven't already seen it, is that the kid gets a 360 (for his birthday, though this is being called an xmas vid all over the web) and what looks like a mega-super-edition of Halo3 and reacts, well... gratefully. As in, instead of losing his shit in a giant joygasm, he's completely overcome with gratitude to his parents for the gift. You kinda have to wait for the last few moments for a bit of info that puts it all in context as to what might've helped shape his Tiny Tim-esque outlook on life, but the main thing is that the kid seems both TOTALLY surprised and accutely aware of what a lavish expense it is for mom and dad - he's got quite the vocabulary for a young kid, but the word "entitled" doesn't seem to be among them.
Kids, watch careful: THIS is what your parents are looking to see when you tear into the "big" gift.
You did it, you finally did it, damn you all to hell! You Maniacs! You blew it up! And now the whole world has been left in the stinking paws of a bunch of damned dirty… squirrels? Well, that’s how Hugh Harman and the folks at MGM saw it back in 1939, anyway, when they released this cheery holiday tale about the demise of the entire human race. Hey kids, you better watch out, you better not cry, because you’ll probably all be meeting God before the morning light comes. Merrrrry Christmas!
Oh well, you have to give the little yard rats some credit. At least they picked a Good Book to base their new society’s philosophy on. Gotta love the whole “swords into plowshares” mentality of using the army helmets for habitats. Still, we don’t really need to wait until the vermin rule the world for we humans to learn the same lessons. Under the ‘just war” section of the Catechism it clearly states that “the use of arms must not produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated. The power of modem means of destruction weighs very heavily in evaluating this condition… "Every act of war directed to the indiscriminate destruction of whole cities or vast areas with their inhabitants is a crime against God and man, which merits firm and unequivocal condemnation." A danger of modern warfare is that it provides the opportunity to those who possess modern scientific weapons especially atomic, biological, or chemical weapons - to commit such crimes.” Pondering this point led Pope Benedict to offer his personal thoughts that, even though national defense is a moral imperative, “given the new weapons that make possible destructions that go beyond the combatant groups, today we should be asking ourselves if it is still licit to admit the very existence of a "just war."
In the end, the best way to avoid the dilemma of such a decision is to (ironically) launch a preemptive attack. You see, a lot of people mistake Christian pacifism like the Pope’s for mere passivism. But as the Catechism explains, “Peace is not merely the absence of war, and it is not limited to maintaining a balance of powers between adversaries. Peace cannot be attained on earth without safeguarding the goods of persons, free communication among men, respect for the dignity of persons and peoples, and the assiduous practice of fraternity. Peace is "the tranquility of order." Peace is the work of justice and the effect of charity.” In this mindset, war is actually just a symptom of a much bigger problem. That’s why Jesus didn’t ride into battle brandishing a sword, but rather spent his time curing the sick and feeding the hungry. While there may be, regretfully, times when war is unavoidable, Jesus showed us the face of the real enemy which must be fought every day. So, in this season of Peace on Earth and goodwill towards man, let’s all prepare to go to war, shall we? Let’s keep up the good fight now so that we can avoid as many battlefields as we can, especially that one which leads to the possible dark future where the honneeks inherit the Earth.
(Honneek, by the way, is the word for squirrel in the language of the Delaware tribe. THAT’S how far I’ll go for a bad pun.)
Way, way back when we first discussed the slasher movie craze of the early 80s, we covered a lot of the tropes and clichés and possible subtexts to be found in the literally hundreds of such movies produced during that period. What we didn’t mention was the music. Now, we’re not talking about the immediately recognizable scores such as John Carpenter’s Halloween or Harry Manfredini’s Friday The 13th. No, we mean the fantastically weird theme songs which sometimes ran over the end credits. A few, like The Fat Boys’ Are You Ready For Freddy actually ended up being released as singles, but for genre nuts, the real gems are the obscure ones which you only heard if you hung around in the theater while most everyone else was making a beeline for the parking lot. What follows are excerpts from some of the most memorable…
APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1986)
This little diddy might sound like an odd choice to close out a horror movie, but from beginning to end April Fool’s Day is chock full of practical jokes (dark, dark jokes, but jokes just the same), so this tune fits right in with the tongue-in-cheek goings on.
MADMAN (1982)
As the unlucky counselors in this cult classic find out, Madman Marz is much more than just a tale told to scare the kiddies. However, that is how they’re first introduced to him, as nothing more than a legend to be recounted while sitting around the campfire. Listening to this, you can almost hear the s’mores sizzling.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)
Forget the noisy, crude remake, the original MBV is much loved by fans for its authentic settings and realistic, likable cast (none of whom burst into a dwarf’s room butt naked). This folksy number perfectly captures the feel of the rundown blue collar mining town which provides the backdrop for Harry Warden’s dirty deeds.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)
Melissa Sue Anderson spends much of this movie confused and tortured, and then it gets worse for her towards the end. The movie finishes on a particularly downbeat note for her character, which, I’m sure you’ll agree, is more than adequately reflected in this song.
DON’T GO IN THE WOODS (1981)
This movie is legendarily bad. Nuff said.
I have to admit, as cheesy as some of these songs are, I really miss them whenever I give in and watch a modern slasher. A lot of the generic indie rock and heavy metal pieces you get at the end of today’s movies (and some of the old, let’s be fair) are tolerable enough I suppose, but you can tell they were just slapped on because that’s the song style popular with the intended demographic. What makes these old songs, even the corny ones, so much better is that they actually feel like a part of the movie, intimately connected with the story you’ve been watching. Even for dumb slasher flicks, It makes for an all around more immersive movie going experience.
In a way it’s like the stuff we’re supposed to hear at mass. As the Catechism points out, “Song and music fulfill their function as signs in a manner all the more significant when they are "more closely connected… with the liturgical action," according to three principal criteria: beauty expressive of prayer, the unanimous participation of the assembly at the designated moments, and the solemn character of the celebration. In this way they participate in the purpose of the liturgical words and actions: the glory of God and the sanctification of the faithful.” Needless to say, there are arguments to be made that much of contemporary liturgical music doesn’t meet these standards.
With all the other problems ongoing in The Church right now, the state of liturgical music might not seem high on the list. But In his autobiography, Milestones: Memoirs 1927-1977, the future Pope Benedict XVI wrote “I am convinced that the crisis in the Church that we are experiencing today is to a large extent due to the disintegration of the liturgy, which at times has even come to be conceived of etsi Deus non daretur: in that it is a matter of indifference whether or not God exists and whether or not He speaks to us and hears us. But when the community of faith, the world-wide unity of the Church and her history, and the mystery of the living Christ are no longer visible in the liturgy, where else, then, is the Church to become visible in her spiritual essence?”
The Pope wasn’t speaking solely of music, of course, but it was part of his discussion. Music matters. As we noted in the examples above, the proper song in a movie can make for a more memorable experience. The proper song in a mass can bring a person to God.
Ahhh, nothing like watching the Wolfman and Igor TCB and dig it to Amos Moses is there? It seems the upcoming review for Voyage Of The Rock Aliens has put us in the mood for some aural delights around here. Fortunately, there happens to be a few to be found out there in cyberspace which match up with our particular interests, and we thought we’d share them with the rest of you.
First up, we have renowned Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft’s self described three point sermon on screenwriting. This is a short 30 minute speech delivered to a roomful of film students given with the hopes of helping them to understand the role their religion can play in their chosen profession. He also gives them some pointers on writing good screenplays which I hope at least 90% of them follow. Why not 100%? Well, we have to keep some of them writing bad movies, otherwise we’d be out of business here.
Which isn’t to say we don’t appreciate good writing when we see it. Or hear it for that matter. Over at the Forgotten Classics podcast the Happy Catholic is smack dab in the middle of a reading of The Uninvited which, if you’re not familiar with the title, was made into an excellent movie back in 1944 with Ray Milland. There are differences between the book and the film adaptation, of course, but this is one of the few cases where both are worth the time spent with them.
I haven’t read the Twilight books or seen their adaptations, so I can’t say if the same holds true for those works. Luckily, Father Barron over at The Word On Fire has taken a peak at the films, and he’s put his brief opinion on the current vampire craze up on YouTube. Now all you fans of smooth skinned shirtless adolescents need not fret, the good father doesn’t take any potshots at the movie, but rather discusses some of the possible reasons a secular culture has become so entranced with nosferatu.
If you’re not among the cult of the modern day vampire, however, and would prefer something with a little more teeth to it, then you might try hopping over to the Catholic Under The Hood podcast where Father Seraphim takes a look at what Catholics have believed about werewolves over the centuries. Hair raising? Maybe. Interesting? Definitely.
And finally, I would be remiss if I did not point out that The Flicks That Church Forgot podcast is back up and running. Put together by Peter Laws, a Baptist minister across the pond, the show covers pretty much the same ground we do around here, just without the lengthy quotes from the Catholic Catechism. Hey, nobody’s perfect right? Still, the good minister is taking a shot at dragging Christian meaning out of the 1988 cheese fest Slugs this week, so I have to give him his due.
Well, that should be enough to give everybody’s Ipod a good work out for awhile. And be sure to stay tuned here over the next couple of weeks as the hits will just keep on coming.