Thursday, 15 July 2010

The first image of Green Lantern...

...looks really, really, REALLY bad. Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly's "Comic-Con Issue."

http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/07/15/green-lantern-ryan-reynolds/

Not that it matters. The reaction, I mean. Since negative first-impressions on things like this are always innevitably brushed-aside as "fanboy" complaints not worth taking seriously. In fact, let me save various anonymous trolls some time: "Shut up, Fanboy! You're just mad it doesn't look exactly like the gay-ass comic version you fap to in your mom's basement!" There, copy/paste THAT into the comment-box and feel free to add some choice references of your own to weight, appearance and sexual-orientation for that personal touch ;)

But good LORD, what a hideous design - yes, fine, maybe it looks good in motion... but it's hard not to feel bad for Ryan Reynolds having to "wear" that thing - "wear" being in quotes because it's not even a costume, it's a CGI augmentation being made to him after the fact. This is, of course, par for the course for Warner Bros., who evidently remain so ashamed of "having" to make superhero movies there's no amount of extraneous detailing they won't add to make the costumes look like anything OTHER than a superhero costume (See-also: Batman's awful lumpy bat-armor, Superman's overdesigned threads and, in the comics, Wonder Woman's new body-conscious-actress-friendly slacks.) In this case, the design-directive seemed to be "Tron-as-reworked-for-a-reptilian-offshoot-of-Furry-fetishism."

Look, I get the logic that a green-and-black body-stocking is a hard sell to audiences who aren't going to see this anyway, and I get that it's supposed to look more like a "construct" of the ring... but it also looks like ass. I mean, ignore the GL logo for a minute and tell me that even if this were some "original" character this wouldn't look completely laughable. The Billy Zane PHANTOM had a better-looking suit than this, and he was wearing a purple skinsuit with a fucking WIDOW'S PEAK!

Fortunately, I can at least partially soothe my dissapointments (this project was sounding so promising!) with the new "Thor" image of Odin, Loki(?) and Thor hanging out in (presumably) Asgard:


I love that. Know what I love about it? Absolutely NO pretending it's anything other than exactly what it is: "Yeah, we're Viking Superheroes. What of it?" Cheezy? OF COURSE it's cheezy! What part of VIKING SUPERHERO wasn't clear enough? And check out the Kirby-esque jagged-line details on Hopkins' armor. Every Marvel movie has reference being "live-action Jack Kirby drawings" at one point or another, but this is the first time anyone actually seems to have gone for it.

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