Snakes on a Plane (2006)

It was January 2016 when I first heard of Snakes on a Place, when many people picked it for the airplane themed week of Thursday Movie Picks. That's for how long I've been meaning to watch this but kept putting it off instead. 

The plot goes like this. After witnessing the murder of an American prosecutor by the powerful mobster Eddie Kim (Bryon Lawson) while on vacation in Hawaii, Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) is persuaded by FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) to testify against Kim in Los Angeles. For the trip back, they take the entire First Class section of a red-eye flight, thinking that Jones would be safe there. Unfortunately for them and everyone else on that plane, Kim has dispatched hundreds of venomous snakes with a crate with the intent of crashing the plane and hence stop Jones from testifying. 

At this point, we are about thirty minutes into the film. The remaining hour or so is nothing but snakes trying to kill people and people trying to kill snakes. It's certainly not the most exciting of plots; actually, there's no plot here as nothing really happens, it's all very predictable and the biggest plot twist is the steward not being gay —it did leave me speechless though. 

The characters are just as poorly written as they are nothing but horror stereotypes with zero characterization and depth. Most of them have no purpose whatsoever as they die as soon as they are introduced, and they all do the most idiotic, illogical things you could do in such a scenario. They also are pretty annoying and unlikeable, and the only character I cared about was a flight attendant on her last flight who wants to pursue a career as a lawyer, because how on Earth would Julianna Margulies play Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife if she died on that plane?

The acting is bloody awful. Not only most of the performances are beyond wooden, but they also are tremendously cheesy. Samuel L. Jackson and Julianna Margulies are the only saving graces as the first gives quite a humorous although typical performance, and the later is very likeable.

New Line Cinema

The special effects are pretty bad too. From the cartoonish snakes to the incredibly fake-looking plane, CGI certainly isn't Snakes on a Plane's strength. Also, I found the scenes from the snakes' point of view utterly annoying.

All of that being said, I didn't hate the film. Sure, it has many, countless flaws, but there's something it has accomplished, it kept me engaged and entertained throughout the whole running time. That sure is something.