License to Wed (2007)

I added License to Wed on my watchlist many years ago because of Robin Williams but, like it always happens, if I don't watch it shortly after, it falls into oblivion and I watch it years later, with no idea how the movie ended up on the list nor what it is about.

Well, this one follows Sadie (Mandy Moore) and Ben (John Krasinski), a happy couple who, after only six months, feel ready to get married. It's always been Sadie's dream to be married at the family church with her family minister, Frank (Robin Williams), officiating it. Before they get married, Frank forces them into a rigorous premarital counselling program to see if they are really ready for marriage.

The beginning is quite promising but as soon as the plot starts developing—I'm kidding, nothing develops in here—, it is more than clear that the writers had no idea what they were doing. The result? A story that barely goes somewhere, that is filled with clichés and couldn't get any more predictable. On top of that, it is not even enjoyable. It's a stupid and utterly boring story.

If License to Wed is so unappealing, the credits go to the characters too. They aren't even paper-thin as that would require some dimension whatsoever. They are just a bunch of people with no personality and nothing that makes them stand out. There's a moment in the movie where Ben is asked to describe each of Sadie's relatives with only a word and he's having a terrible time because he's still trying to impress the future in-laws. Well, I felt just same because of the lack of characterisation. And it's not only with the supporting characters but with the main ones too, especially them. How am I supposed to care about Sadie and Ben if they are the weakest and thinner romantic leads ever? Seriously, we know nothing about them other than they both are self-absorbed. As for the Reverend, Frank, he comes off as a creepy, manipulative psychopath.

Warner Bros. Pictures

The cast is completely helpless. I love Krasinski in The Office and Moore in This Is Us but in here they both suck. Their performances are nearly pathetic, they don't make you laugh, and they sure don't make you buy the romance between their characters as they have no chemistry whatsoever. Robin Williams is painfully ridiculous as Reverend Frank, and don't even get me started on the poor cameos from some of The Office's actors.

The biggest issue with License to Wed though is that it is supposed to be a comedy and guess which film couldn't be any less funny? Yep, this one. The humour is so bad, I'm wondering what kind of people enjoys it. I was expecting sitcom-level humour because of Krasinski and Ken Kwapis, who also directed The Office, but I was expecting it to be at least funny —I only laughed once and it was something Williams said. I'm not even sure it was supposed to be funny.

A Wrinkle in Time (2018)

I have a crush on Chris Pine since he did that movie with Linsday Lohan —I don't remember the title, it was something about luck, I think— so of course I wanted to see A Wrinkle in Time when it hit theatres. But then the bad, really bad reviews came and I skipped it. And I'm glad because I finally gave it a chance and it was a huge waste of time. 

The film follows Meg Murry (Storm Reid), her younger brother Charles Wallace (Deric McCabe) and her classmate Calvin (Levi Miller) as they join three magical beigns —Mrs. Whatsit (Reese Witherspoon), Mrs. Who (Mindy Kaling) and Mrs. Which (Oprah Winfrey)— to travel across the universe to search for her father (Chris Pine) who disappeared four years earlier.

I haven't read Madeleine L'Engle's novel so I don't know who is to be blamed for it, but the plot is absolutely not well put together, it does not flow smoothly as it just  jumps from place to place —at least, that's what it felt like—, it's filled with clichés and holes, and it's extremely boring.

The characters aren't any better than the plot. They are shallow, to say the least, every single one of them. It's impossible to connect with them and care about them. They have no development whatsoever and make the most idiotic decisions ever, and for no apparent reason. In other words, they are bland and uninteresting.

Just like the actors who play them. While Chris Pine tries to do something with that little he's given —there isn't a lot to do though—, the rest of the cast is just terrible. Reese Witherspoon and Oprah Winfrey are dull, and Mindy Kaling is annoying as hell and the kid actors simply can't act. When will Disney start hiring talented actors instead of these pretty but cringy kids? Also, Zach Galifianakis plays a character who had the potential to be wonderful if Michael Peña played him. Instead, they had Peña play a bland dude with red eyes.

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

If anything, A Wrinkle in Time is visually beautiful with its nice cinematography and great special effects. Unfortunately, this cannot make up for the messy plot, the lack of any kind of action that would prevent it from being dreadfully boring, and a cast can't do anything or doesn't know what to do with the script. I can't believe Ava DuVernay, the same woman who directed Selma, made this. I just can't.

Ocean's Eight (2018)

Ocean's Eleven is one of my favourite heist films ever. It's fun, entertaining, clever and the chemistry between the actors, it is simply wonderful. That's what I was hoping I would find in Ocean's Eight, the all-female spin-off of Ocean series. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly as good as the "original" (in case you didn't know, Soderberg's film is a remake of a 1960 film, also named Ocean's Eleven, starring Frank Sinatra).

Newly released from prison, Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock), the young sister of Danny Ocean, puts in motion her five-year-in-the-making plan: she is going to get Cartier to lend a $150 million diamond necklace to a vain actress, Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway), for the exclusive Met Gala where she is going to pluck it off the actress's neck. To pull off the heist, she assembles a team of talented women.

The plot is pretty much garbage. It's often implausible and it is filled with gigantic holes. What's worse though is that it's not exciting nor that entertaining as it lacks suspension and surprises --there are twists, but they couldn't get more predictable-- and because of that, it ends up being quite boring to follow. It is simply too straightforward for me to really enjoy it --I love my heist movie guys to struggle a little, but everything goes according to plan here.

Another problem with Ocean's Eight is that it lacks interesting characters. They are just heist movie stereotypes and as such, they have no depth whatsoever. We don't get their background stories --what is all that sexual tension between Sandra Bullock's Debbie and Cate Blanchett's Lou about?-- and they lack strong motivations.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Then there's the cast. Some of the women in the film can't even act --Rihanna and Mindy Kaling-- and most of those who can do a terrible job. I love Sandra Bullock and the chemistry she has with Cate Blanchett is amazing, but she is kind of a boring lead. Anna Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter do a pretty good job though, respectively as the vain actress and her quirky designer. Carter stole the scene every time she was on screen for me. James Corden is pretty good too. He basically plays himself only with another name --he's not an actor, after all-- but he is the one, the only one, who delivers the humour in the final part of the film.

Despite the poor writing and the mediocre to say the least acting, Ocean's Eight doesn't qualify as the worst film of the year. Although the humour is flat at times, there are several humorous moments that will keep you interested, and to watch the heist being pulled off was entertaining despite the lack of tension.