PULP CATHOLICISM #027

PODCAST 58: Jaws & The Conjuring

This week Forest reviews the film Jaws, kicking off his four part journey into the aquatic world that is the Jaws film series. Cory tackles the newly released James Wan supernatural thriller, The Conjuring. Though it is cliche at times, it still packs a hell of a punch.

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The Possibly Misleading Trailer of WALTER MITTY

Is James Thurber's short story "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" Still in the rotation of things everybody is forced to read in English Lit? Well, in the event that it's not, the premise is that Walter Mitty is a mildly-henpecked average schlub who escapes from the crushing boredom of a shopping tripwith his wife by slipping into self-aggrandizing heroic daydreams touched-off by mundane events of his day (putting on his gloves conjures a fantasy of himself as the world's greatest surgeon, for example.) So... yeah, the framing device used by like 70% of TV sitcom "anthology episodes?" This is where that comes from.

Anyway, it's now being (loosely) adapted into a movie directed by and starring Ben Stiller. Yeah, I was immediately kind of queasy too, but take a look at this thing...




See? NOT exactly the "Along Came The Fockers To Watch The Envy Museum" shitstorm Stiller's name too often conjures of late, right? Right.

What worries me is that there's almost no dialogue, and when we DO get a closeup, line or anything that doesn't look like it was chosen for how well it cuts together as a "quietly soaring" indie-rock video looks just a little bit closer to the schtick that's more expected of this pedigree. But, for now, I'll choose to be optimistic about this. Stiller remains talented enough to still put out a "Tropic Thunder" or "Greenberg," so maybe this'll be one of those...

TheWrap.com EXCLUSIVE: Sony Wins Bidding War for Sci-Fi Book 'Tomorrow and Tomorrow'

Sony Pictures has emerged from a competitive situation with the feature film rights to Thomas Sweterlitsch's sci-fi novel "Tomorrow and Tomorrow," which will be adapted by Noah Oppenheim ("The Maze Runner"), according to an individual familiar with the project.

Film 360 will produce with the Mark Gordon Company.

Set 10 years after the destruction of Pittsburgh, "Tomorrow and Tomorrow" follows one survivor who discovers a scandalous cover-up regarding the city's demise as he goes about creating a digital reproduction of the area.

20th Century Fox also bid on the property.

Oppenheim is the former "Today" show producer who adapted James Dashner's bestselling YA novel "The Maze Runner." He wrote "The Secret Life of Houdini" for Summit Entertainment and was hired to pen a remake of "WarGames" for MGM. His Jackie Kennedy script "Jackie" is also in development at Fox Searchlight. Oppenheim is repped by CAA and Management 360.

Deal was negotiated by Sylvie Rabineau of RWSG Agency.

"FLASH" To Become Terrible CW Show Before Dour, Portentous 'Gritty' Movie

A big-ish rumor (which I joked around about last week) coming out of the "Batman vs. Superman" SDCC announcement was that the "bridge" movie between Sad Building-Puncher Meets Broody Sulkington would be "The Flash;" which was curious and kind of terrifying since The Flash and his "world" are made almost-entirely out of the very things that the DC Movie team of Nolan, Goyer and (now, to my endless disappointment) Zack Snyder have committed to siphoning out before these things get to screen.

Well, it looks it's going to take the long road in getting there: Warner Bros has announced that they're putting the somehow still-kicking "Amazon" (aka "Wonder Woman in High School") project on the back-burner in order to focus on a TV version of "Flash," who'll make his debut in a forthcoming episode of "Arrow"* before spinning-off into his own series...

The Flash actually makes a lot of sense for a TV series, in that he has a really easily-understood power-set, an origin story you can knock out in a minute and change (he's a scientist futzing with some chemicals, he gets hit by lightning, now he can do things really really fast) and his day-job is a police-forensics scientist (before you ask, they already said they're going with Barry Allen.) This might be why there already was a short-lived TV show back in the 90s, which was actually a lot of fun and feature Mark Hammill's first DCU turn as The Trickster:



Part of me actually hopes this really is the route Warners goes to get to "Justice League" - building half the roster in shitty CW series, so that the movie is grumpy middle-aged Henry Cavill and Christian Bale being followed around by a  posse of interchangeable Twilight-bait boytoys in bad costumes ("Flash" will probably get just a reddish-brown tracksuit, right? To go with "Arrow's" hoodie?)

Both this series and the still-apparently-happening movie (it's not specified if they'll be connected in any way - it wouldn't surprise me if they weren't because WB just. Does. Not. Care.) are happening under the supervision of Greg Berlanti, whose previous crimes include "Dawson's Creek," "Everwood," "Green Lantern" and (naturally) "Arrow."

*Please don't bother trying to convince me that "Arrow" isn't shit. Because "Arrow" is shit.

Big Picture: "CelebriToons"

It's all a bit silly.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Celebritoons

STILL VOICES #023

Disney and The Weinsteins Set "ARTEMIS FOWL" Production

This is being reported as a HUGE FUCKING DEAL in the industry because Harvey Weinstein and Disney are speaking again, except all the people at Disney who Harvey was initially at odds with kinda got washed-away post-"John Carter" so it's not really that impressive. Also, it's still just business: Disney finally wants to make a movie based on what has to be the last yet-unfilmmed Harry Potter coattail-rider franchise - which is published by one of their subsidiaries - but Harvey bought the movie rights to it years ago and has been sitting on them.

In any case, "Artemis Fowl" (basic pitch: What if Bruce Wayne was Harry Potter and also sort-of a villain?) will no go into pre-production, to be released to the clenched consternation of it's fans and the complete and utter ambivalence of everyone else probably sometime in 2015; with depressing tabloid headlines involving whatever poor child actor donates his body to the title role to follow a few years down the road.

Expiration Watch: Wilder, Woody, and a Dead Chick

Short notice, I know, but among this month's expiring titles are two comedy classics and one horror classic in-the-making. All three will be gone from Instant as of Wednesday at midnight (8/1/13). So queue 'em up while you can...

Sabrina (1954)

Yet another classic Billy Wilder film bites the dust on Netflix. If a bit lightweight compared to some of the director's more well-known titles (Sunset Boulevard, Some Like It Hot, The Apartment), Sabrina can still teach Hollywood a thing or two about crafting a genuinely funny and charming romantic comedy. Along with all the star power in front of the camera�Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, William Holden�Wilder is joined behind the scenes by co-screenwriter Ernest Lehman, who went on to pen classics Sweet Smell of Success and North By Northwest, among others. Bogie, in one of his last major roles, does seem old for the ascendant Hepburn (though not as old for her as Gary Cooper was in another Wilder souffle, Love In the Afternoon). But if you can get past such typical age-inappropriate Hollywood casting, there's a lot of fun to be had in this Cinderella-like tale of a chauffer's daughter climbing the social ranks to find herself torn between two high-society brothers�stuffy businessman Linus (Bogart) and younger playboy David (William Holden). If you've only seen Sydney Pollack's unfortunate 1995 remake, then here's your chance to see the story done right.

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WRITTEN REVIEW: The Conjuring

By CORY CARR

As I write this Slaughter Film has a podcast recorded in which I talk about The Conjuring. With that said I'm sure you are wondering why the hell I would write a review of it if I'm just going to turn around and say the same damn thing in a podcast. "Is someone fuckin' with

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Some Big Titles Going Away, Expiration List Returns

While there's still no scientific way to identify every soon-to-expire title since Netflix retired its public database in May (see post), I have found a more limited approach that should yield some of the more significant departing titles each month.

Among the bigger ones to be pulled from Instant on August 1 are Chinatown, Broadway Danny Rose, the acclaimed Helen Mirren series, Prime Suspect, and a couple of classics with Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. Check out my full list in the tab above (which will come and go as needed). And if any others show up in your queue, please feel free to share them in the comments below.

8/1 UPDATE: I've since discovered a few other titles that expired, probably back on 7/1: Richard Lester's The Three Musketeers, Coppola's Tucker: The Man and His Dream, Play It Again, Sam, and Another Day in Paradise. And the hits just keep on goin'...

Simpsons

Apple Lisa

Apple Lisa

iMac G3

iMac G3

iMac G3

Would You Watch 90 Minutes of This?

Below, an extended music video for Biting Elbows' "Bad Motherfucker." The premise: "What if a 'Transporter' sequel was 4 1/2 minutes long and seen entirely from first-person perspective?" Okay, fun enough - really hate 0:25, but that's a taste thing.

In any case, this is "news" because the video's director has been hired to turn the concept into a full feature, with Sharlto Copley apparently set to star. I can't help get the sense that this is the sort of idea that sounds good until you actually see it, but what do I know?

Here's Another Awful-Looking Thing We Can Blame Kevin Smith For...

Hey! Have you by chance been in one of those hypersleep pods from "Prometheus" since around 1998 or so and thus might still find jokes about dweeby White kids with a charmingly-naive fixation on Black culture really funny? Well, then "American Milkshake" - an indie pickup from the new Kevin Smith Movie Club imprint - is the movie for YOU!

Alien Invasion Meets Indie Road Movie: MONSTERS

Are you in the mood for superheroic characters fighting scores of scary 3D creatures amid exploding landmarks while computer-rendered populations are crushed beneath tossed cars and collapsing buildings? Then check out The Avengers. Or Pacific Rim. Or just about anything directed by Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich.

But if you need a break from cliche scares and lookalike blockbusters and prefer more character-driven sci-fi--with relatable human beings who aren't wielding weapons or one-liners--then Monsters, an impressive micro-budget alien invasion flick from 2010, should hit your sweet spot. It certainly hit mine.

Set six years after an extraterrestrial species has populated a swath of northern Mexico now walled off from the United States, Monsters utilizes a War of the Worlds-like premise to concentrate on the human toll of an alien occupation--an occupation fought with increasing (and unscrupulous) force by a desperate U.S. military.

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Escape to The Movies: "The Wolverine"

Good enough.

Intermission: "World's Finest."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Wolverine

PULP CATHOLICISM #026

"Fruitvale Station" Director to Write/Direct Seventh "Rocky" Installment. For Real.

Ryan Coogler is having the dream year of an indie filmmaker. His devastating debut, "Fruitvale Station" was already racking up accolades before it was yanked into the spotlight by tangential association to the Trayvon Martin story ("Fruitvale" is a fact-based account of a police shooting of an unarmed black youth.) Now he's lining up his first studio gig, and it's anything but what you'd expect...


"CREED," which Coogler will write and direct as a star vehicle for his "Fruitvale" lead Michael B. Jordan (whose also supposedly on the shortlist for The Human Torch), is a spin-off/continuation of the "ROCKY" franchise. The story will center on the grandson of Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers' character from the first four films) opting to follow his grandfather's footsteps into professional boxing; with a returning Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa for a trainer. Why did it take so long for someone to think of this??



I don't know if "Rocky" means the same thing to audiences who didn't grow up in the late-70s/80s - watching the series gradually transition from Oscar-winning throwback melodrama to bombastic action-hero fantasy - but I did, so I'm intrigued as hell by this. My one concern would be whether or not Stallone (who didn't just play Rocky, but created the character and wrote the original screenplay) can be part of the production without trying to assert control on a "green" young filmmaker. On the other hand, he was very much where Coogler was once, so maybe he'll have a certain amount of respect.

I hope this works out... and not just because I'd like to maybe find out what happened to Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago and Tommy Gunn in "Creed II, III," etc. (Lang was at one point supposed to appear as a ringside commentator in "Rocky Balboa," which would be amazing.)

PODCAST 57: Pacific Rim [Giant Robot Edition]

The Slaughter Film crew lose their minds as they gleefully review Pacific Rim, directed by Guillermo Del Toro. The gang pop hard boners as they share their thoughts on a film that will easily be one of the best of 2013.

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Maybe Everything Is Going To Be Okay, After All...

A friend and colleague of mine recently offered "South Korea!" as a one-word response to all that was right in modern cinema. Now, courtesy the YouTube Channel of Vietnamese theater-chain comes another argument in favor of that perspective: The full trailer for "MR. GO."

It's... it's honestly really better that you just watch...


h/t BAD

Big Picture: "San Diego Comic-Con 2013"

Title says it all, really.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : San Diego Comic-Con 2013

New July Titles (2013)

This month brings a clutch of classic star-driven comedies and thrillers to Netflix Streaming, including a pair of Warren Beatty flicks, two movies with Julie Christie, and a couple of body-swapping romances. All that, and an overlooked oddity that teams writer Charlie Kaufman with Sam Rockwell and George Clooney (and is both comedy and thriller).

Don't Look Now (1973)

One of the prime examples of director Nicolas Roeg's amazing run of early greatness (including Walkabout, The Man Who Fell to Earth and Bad Timing), this Daphne de Maurier-based supernatural thriller is as well-known for its creeping aura of dread as its infamous sex scene--a scene that even today provokes leering discussions of "Did they or didn't they?" (FYI, they didn't.) But along with those tender, erotically charged moments, the film stands out for its disorienting, slow-building sense of menace, haunting Venice locations, and the utterly human heart of the bereaved married couple at its center. Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie are riveting in that quiet 1970s way--casual, messy, unforced, their realistic intimacy almost unnerving compared to the more heightened, on-the-nose theatrics of today's Hollywood. It's refreshing and rare to see such unguarded (emotionally and physically) moments between major stars. You can't help caring for these wounded souls, worrying for their safety as a series of strange events and mysterious premonitions lead them (and us) to believe something terrible lurks within the city's twisty streets. Are dark forces at work? Fate? Or is it only coincidence?

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SHORT FEATURE: THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME

So, the number one movie at the box office this past weekend was The Conjuring, a fairly well-received haunted house movie with Catholic undertones. Oh yeah! Of course, I ended up seeing Turbo for Aleteia instead, a movie about a snail that goes really fast. Sigh. One of the hazards of having a ten year old, I suppose.

To be fair, I actually did appreciate the urban setting of Turbo and the attention paid to the details in the animation, but the story… meh. And even though I liked the visuals, sometimes old school non-CGI effects are just more enjoyable. For instance, if you really feel the need to watch something with speed, it’s hard to go wrong with this classic short.

The creator of the short, Mike Jittlov, eventually got around to turning The Wizard of Speed and Time into a pretty fun full length picture, but oddly enough given the subject matter, it took him nine years to do so. Who knows, while funding probably had a lot to do with the delay, maybe Jittlov just liked to take his time.

As someone who has been burning the candle at both ends recently due to work and family concerns, the idea of slowing down isn’t all that appealing right at the moment. But maybe it’s necessary. Contemplating the Year of Faith, Bishop Edward J. Weisenburger notes that ‘busyness’ is one of the chief obstacles in our spiritual life. “The truth is that God’s voice is vibrant and alive within us” his excellency writes, “but we silence it when we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed with the busyness of life. Abraham needed the silence of the desert to hear the voice of God. Scripture and sacred tradition reveal this consistently in the lives of the patriarchs, prophets, saints and indeed Jesus himself. There is no spiritual alternative to silence and simplicity of life if we are to nurture a relationship with the Father. We can heal the wound of busyness only when we rediscover the joy of simplicity — of doing less and discovering more, of quieting our lives to hear God’s voice. The wound is busyness. The healing balm is a simplicity of life and quiet stillness that allows the voice of God to begin a conversation with us.”

So it sounds like it might be a good idea to slow things down a bit, maybe even break out this old chestnut just to set the mood…

Not at mass, though. Anybody starts playing anything remotely similar to that at mass and I’m outta there as fast as my feet can carry me.

My Boyfriend's Back

Original Macintosh

From The Creator of "Family Guy" And The Director of The Hayden Planetarium. No, Really.

Fox Television gave Seth MacFarlane a big leeway for "whatever he wanted to do" in exchange for keeping ratings-juggernaut "Family Guy" on the air. He decided to spend that clout on two passion projects. One wasn't too surprising: A new version of "The Flintstones," which is still pending. The other? "COSMOS," a 13-part science documentary - a sequel to the legendary Carl Sagan series of the same name - hosted by Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

Yes. The creator of "Family Guy" is going to run a science documentary on a major network because he can. And now there's a trailer:

What IS Going On With Captain America's "New" Uniform?

I'm on the record with not being in love with what we were being told was Captain America's new threads for "Captain America: The Winter Soldier." It's not a bad-looking getup in and of itself, mind you, it's just... yeah, it's the lack of red and white in there. That matters, not just aesthetically - he's Captain America, not the Blue-Denim Power Ranger. And it's especially unfortunate, since the original concept-art for the movie was showing off a really good-looking fusion of the WWII and Avengers-era costumes.

But now there's some SDCC snaps from ComicBookMovie (sourced from another site that's now down) that make me think maybe there's more to this...




So, here's the thing: For awhile now, people have been assuming that the all-blue outfit is some kind of "stealth suit" or something specifically tied to S.H.I.E.L.D; given that there's a S.H.I.E.L.D-logo patch on the shoulders. Speaking of shields, it now looks like the new outfit comes with it's own version of Cap's shield, which replaces the red rings with light-blue (cyan?) ones. Maybe blue is "stealthy?" But take another look:

That's an official display from Marvel/Disney's display for the film at SDCC. Why is he standing with The Howling Commandos (you can tell it's them, because that's Dum-Dum Dugan's bowler hat) from the first movie? Is it just gag for the display (apparently it rotates around into an identical version but with Cap in his WWII era uniform and pre-vibranium shield)? It's probable that the film will use flashbacks to WWII to help remind us all who [REDACTED] was, is the blue outfit something from that period used to help us keep past/present scenes straight (or vice-versa?) I will say that the S.H.I.E.L.D. patch looks old-timey: Brown and gold, with a WWII-style right of stars. Will we be seeing the founding of S.H.I.E.LD?

One particular guess I keep seeing floated around is that since this and "Thor 2" are supposed to be the (thematically) "darker" movies this cycle (the "Empire Strikes Back" rule that mid-trilogy entries are dark and end on bleak notes,) this one will be about Cap getting all disillusioned about present-day political/military/spycraft business - i.e. he starts out working with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Government in official capacity but eventually braces against it (maybe they lied to him about [REDACTED]?) and goes off on his own, and the blue get-up is for his "working for The Man" phase?

Maybe we'll find out more when Marvel/Disney's official panel stuff hits later tonight.

(UPDATED!) WB Sets "Superman/Batman" or 2015, "Flash" and "Justice League" to Follow

UPDATE I: Zack Snyder takes the stage at SDCC, officially announces Batman joining "Man of Steel" sequel. Says will be "informed" by "Dark Knight Returns" but NOT an adaptation. Bat/Shield-fusion logo shown a'la the Batman/Superman comic, Bat-symbol is NOT the one from the previous Nolan-trilogy.

ORIGINAL POST: Actual news is starting to hit from ComicCon (Legendary supposedly just now surprised everyone who showed up for the "Godzilla" trailer with a teaser for Duncan Jones' "World of Warcraft" movie); and now we've evidently got the first actual word from Warner Bros. about how they plan to handle their DC line going into the future. This is the panel I'd most want to have seen had I been there, because the business/politics of it are intriguing: Warners was expecting to roll into San Diego as conqueror's post-"Man of Steel," which they'd presumed would be a "Dark Knight"-level Summer-crushing juggernaut. Instead, their position is closer to "Well... we made a shitload of money but not as much as we were expecting to, the reviews were pretty bad and it's biggest presence in the dialogue right now is as a punchline about inappropriately-grim adaptations."


Given that, I'd say it's a surprise but not a BIG surprise that Warner Bros. seems to be going right back to the eternally-reliable Batman-brand rather than given "Man of Steel" it's own solo sequel: The report is that the film's follow-up will instead be "Superman Meets Batman" (not the final title, obviously - though I can't imagine they'll actually CALL it "World's Finest") in 2015, with Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder returning to executive produce and direct (wouldn't be my first choices, but okay - we all have our bad days) and David Goyer once again writing (ugh.) The current plan is for "The Flash" to follow in 2016 and "Justice League" in 2017.

Hm. Somebody's missing - and it ain't The Martian Manhunter.



It seems kind of inconceivable that "League" will happen without at least one female character (worth noting: Marvel's continuity-experiment put War Machine and Black Widow in front of audiences before getting to Thor or even Captain America); and apparently WB is still trying to get Wonder Woman onto The CW as "Amazon" (an "Arrow" companion-piece with a teenaged Diana in an American high-school. Really.) A lot of people are still thinking the "empty pod" cutaway in "Man of Steel" was supposed to be a tease for Supergirl - confirmed, at least in-part, by a tie-in comic - so maybe her? One of the bigger recent Batman/Superman comic arcs (it also got an animated movie) intro'd a new-ish version of her (basically Golden/Silver-age Kara, but "for today") so maybe she'll get the spot? Dunno. Right now, the only "safe bet" I can imagine is that if they bother with a Green Lantern at all it'll be John Stewart, and if not him Cyborg will get the "We Need At Least One Black Guy" call.

Still not mentioned: Whether or not they've picked a Batman yet, and if they're shooting for 2015 they kinda need to do that pretty soon. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they were still trying to get Christian Bale back (maybe that's Nolan's role here, since everyone was expecting him to bail at this point.)

The 'A' Word: NEW GIRL (Season 1)

FOX's marketing department insists on calling her "adorkable," but that's no reason to hate Zooey Deschanel or her show New Girl. The woman long ago proved her talents, not just with years of credible indie and big-studio comedies and dramas, but with a series of retro pop albums as one half of She & Him. Sure, she can be quirky and weird and dresses in overly colorful, girly outfits that accentuate her trademark bangs and enormous, perpetually startled eyes. But there's no denying she's found her own Gen-Y style niche--no small accomplishment in a world with Lady Gaga.

And if you watch New Girl, the single-camera comedy she produces and stars in, you'll see her successfully extend her personal style and humor into what over two seasons has become one of the funniest shows on television. Along with show creator Elizabeth Meriwether and a breakout cast, Deschanel and her writers took a questionable Three Horny Roommates and a Girl premise and transformed it from amusing trifle into something genuinely fresh and inventive.
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PULP CATHOLICISM #025

PODCAST 56: I Know What You Did Last Summer & I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

This week Forest & Cory take on two summer "Scooby Doo" slashers, I Know What You Did Last Summer and it's sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

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NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

I’ve had a few posting issues over at Aleteia, but I finally managed to get a couple of new reviews up. First there’s Despicable Me 2, an insidious piece of pro-traditional marriage propaganda if ever I’ve seen one. So, of course, I liked it. And then there’s Pacific Rim, probably the closest thing we’re ever going to get to seeing Spectreman or Space Giants on the big screen. So, of course, I loved it.

While you’re at Aleteia you might want to check out Jeremy Haynes’ continuing series on life as a faithful Catholic in the movie business. This time around, he discusses how to make TV shows in Hollywood without compromising your morality.

If you’d like a break from all the big summer releases I’ve been reviewing, then stop by The American Catholic where Donald R. McClarey has a review of the independent feature, Saving Lincoln. It probably won’t give Spielberg a run for his money, but the low budget production does feature the unique gimmick of using CGI to place the actors within actual Civil War photos.

If you prefer more traditional animation techniques, then be sure to read Lauren Meyers article at Ignitum Today in which she wonders if the classic Disney fairy tale movies are good for our children to watch, or not?

Speaking of cartoons, for those of you who may have gotten a smile or two from the Pulp Catholicism series we’ve been running here on Wednesdays, you might also enjoy some of the other (better) Catholic cartoonists out there right now. Brother Amadeus, a contemplative with the Maronite Monks of Adoration Petersham, MA, has produced a graphic novel that’s receiving some good reviews (my copy’s on the way). The Truth Is Out There tells the story of Brendan and Erc, two intergalactic mailmen who get involved in something bigger than they ever expected. However, if newspaper style strips are more up your alley, then why not check out Jason Bach’s website where he’s been having some fun with the Church’s rather unique situation of having two popes in residence at the Vatican at the same time.

And just because I brought up the Vatican, in case you missed it, The Vatican daily newspaper L'Osservatore Romano (which is NOT The Vatican itself), recently wondered if The Hulk and Batman are Catholic? (The original article is here for those of you who read Italian.)

Well, that should be enough to keep you busy reading for a bit. See you back here when you’re done.

PULP CATHOLICISM #024

PODCAST 55: Godzilla 1985 & Godzilla [King of the Monsters Edition]

This week Forest & Cory take on two Godzilla reboots, as they review Godzilla 1985 and the American Godzilla from 1998.

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SHORT FEATURE: I WANNA BE A COWBOY

So I went and saw The Lone Ranger for Aleteia and, for better or worse, came out of the theater with this song in my head.

Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.

Anyway, as I noted in my review, The Lone Ranger has got some problems, but in the end, my family found it entertaining. And I assure you, despite what some critics have suggested, when my ten old walked out of the theater, he didn’t hate America, white people, or capitalism. He just thought the guy with the bird on his head was nuts and that the horse was hilarious. The whole thing reminds me of last year’s John Carter. Critics savaged that film and it didn’t do very well at the box office, but once I got around to seeing it, it wasn’t really THAT bad. Same story here.

Maybe I just feel a little empathy with The Lone Ranger and all the undeserved bad press he’s getting because, when you think about the old west, we Catholics weren’t fairing too well in the public opinion back in those days either. In one of his many editorials for the United States Catholic Miscellany, the first Catholic newspaper published in the U.S., Bishop John England wrote:

I found what I was altogether unprepared for; that in many of our states, a Roman Catholic, though legally and politically upon a level with his fellow citizens, was however to be looked upon, by reason of his religion, as in some degree morally degraded. I found that it was by no means considered a want of liberality, on the part of Protestants, to vilify the Catholic religion, and to use the harshest and most offensive terms when designating its practices; but that if a Catholic used any phrase however modified, which even insinuated any thing derogatory to the Protestant religion, he was marked as a shocking bigot.

Bishop England wrote that in 1826. But if you trade out the word Protestants for something like Secularists or Atheists or Abortionists or a few other –ists, it sure seems like not that much has changed, huh? Oh well, Jesus saw it all coming from a long way off. “Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” he once said, “Rejoice and be glad.” Well, you heard the Lord everybody, don’t worry about all those verbal slings and arrows. Cowboy up and put a smile on your face.

Dive On In: UPSTREAM COLOR

Though often labeled a "sci-fi thriller," Upstream Color (2013) isn't easy to categorize and is even trickier to describe. A poetic mix of horror, romance, science fiction and art film, it plays like a mashup of Terence Malick and David Lynch, without being as dark as the latter or as deeply internalized as the former. But like those directors' best work, Upstream Color leaves you puzzled and affected in equal measure, its images and ideas supplanting easy answers with an emotional resonance that's hard to shake. Somewhat reminiscent of the personal, elliptical cinema that emerged from France in the 1960s (think Alain Resnais' Last Year at Marienbad, Je t'aime je t'aime, or Chris Marker's La Jetee), it represents an anomaly even by today's indie standards.

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FREEJACK

THE PLOT

“Geoff Murphy directed this time-travel chase movie. Emilio Estevez stars as Alex Furlong, a racecar driver from 1991, who is just about to experience a deadly crash in his Formula Atlantic. But at the last moment Alex finds himself transported to the streets of New York in 2009. He is saved from certain death and zapped into the future by 21st-century bounty hunter Vacendak (Mick Jagger), who wants to take over Alex's body. Alex escapes Vacendak's clutches and decides to look up an old girlfriend. When he locates Julie (Rene Russo), he enlists her support to help him from being captured by Vacendak. Much to Alex's surprise, he discovers that Julie now works as a top executive for a giant corporation presided over by McCandless (Anthony Hopkins). Julie, separated from Alex for almost twenty years, must decide whether to renew their relationship. But there is not much time for thought by either party, since Vacendak is still coming after Alex.” – Rovi’s AllMovie Guide

THE POINT

“The year 2009 will be recreated on Hollywood Boulevard in an extravaganza featuring eight futuristic vehicles… These will include a 75-foot people mover, a supersonic limousine along with 21st century taxis and motorcycles, which will parade down Hollywood Boulevard.” So exclaimed the press release for the 1992 world premier of Freejack. “Emerging from these will be some of the real-life characters from the film as well as a cast of 45 extras posing as the film's ‘bone-jackers’ (futuristic bounty hunters) and Peace Police. This will be followed by the star-studded arrivals of the film's stars as well as other top stars from all phases of film, television and the music industry… Stars expected include Sting, Madonna, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Paula Abdul, Andrew Dice Clay, Brian Wilson, Harry Shearer and Spinal Tap, Stevie Nicks, Poison, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Julian Lennon, David Byrne, Pat Benatar and many more.” So what did Freejack have that managed to attract such a luminous list of rock royalty (for 1992 anyway)? Why Mick Jagger and David Johansen in starring roles of course.

I guess it’s nice all those fine folks got to watch their forefathers on the big screen, but really, couldn’t somebody have warned the rest of us that the future was going to be populated almost entirely by haggard aging rock stars? At least then we would have had time to hide all the liquor. Of course, given the future depicted in Freejack it kind of makes sense that rock stars would survive. After all, besides the rats and cockroaches, who else besides rock stars would have an immune system already accustomed to the ravages of pollution and drug abuse which has left most of the rest of the population in Freejack in a constant state of deteriorating health. Oh wait, Rene Russo and Jerry Hall were once fashion models, weren’t they? Chances are they probably didn’t even notice when things changed.

Of course, since we’re only talking about the far flung future of 2009, I don’t suppose there was that many changes to begin with. I mean, sure they have the technology to kidnap somebody utilizing time travel, but they still have to use fax machines. And yes, everybody drives around in cute Skittle-colored tanks, but they haven’t quite got around to inventing palm sized cell phones or the Internet yet. And despite the fact that they can transfer a person’s soul into a computer (wait for it), people are still having to eat river rats to survive. What, you mean you’ve never had homemade rat jerky before?

Fine, if you’d prefer to avoid that dubious pleasure, then I suppose it’s a good thing not everybody in the future is required to be rundown, diseased, and living off vermin. All you have to do to avoid munching on mice is to be rich. Yes, as is often the case even today, the wealthy in the future get to eat well and maintain a healthy appearance. They get to wear clean clothes and live in spacious apartments within pristine towers. And when they start to near death, they can pay to have their “souls” stored in digital format until it’s able to be transferred into the body of someone who was kidnapped from the past at the moment of their own death. Oh wait, you mean the rich can’t do that yet? Well, don’t worry, they’re working on it.

An article in The Daily Mail notes that Ray Kurzweil, author, inventor, and director of engineering at Google, recently made the claim that in less than 40 years, humans actually will have the means to upload their entire minds to computers and effectively become digitally immortal. “We're going to become increasingly non-biological to the point where the non-biological part dominates and the biological part is not important any more.” Kurzwell predicts. Still, he believes humans won’t be willing to give up on corporal existence so quickly. “We do need a body.” he postulates, “Our intelligence is directed towards a body, but it doesn't have to be this frail, biological body that is subject to all kinds of failure modes… So we'll be routinely able to change our bodies very quickly as well as our environments. If we had radical life extension only, we would get profoundly bored and we would run out of thing to do and new ideas.” In other words, Kurzwell thinks that within a couple of generations, at least part of the future predicted in Freejack will come to pass. The primary difference is that in Kurzwell’s digital utopia, rather than using a spiritual switchboard to hop inside Emilio Estevez, we’ll be jumping in and out of various robotic containers instead. 

But just what is it exactly that we would be transferring back and forth? In Freejack they use the term ‘souls’, but Kurzwell refers instead to the ‘mind’. Are these terms interchangeable? The shotgun wielding, crotch kicking, potty mouthed nun Alex Furlong meets in the future sure thinks it’s the latter, claiming that what Vacendak and his bosses are up to is anything but spiritual. And as far as the Church is concerned, she would be right, because the mind and the soul are not the same thing in Christian philosophy. While it would probably take no more than five seconds on the Internet to find a different definition, the ‘mind’ is usually regarded by scientists these days as that informational part of the human thought process which can be separated from the bio-physical components of the brain. If that’s too technical (it was for me), Psychologist Gregg Henriques suggests thinking of a novel as an analogy, with the physical book representing the organic brain and the story it communicates as the non-physical mind.

In contrast, the old 1917 Catholic Encyclopedia explains, “The soul may be defined as the ultimate internal principle by which we think, feel, and will, and by which our bodies are animated. The term ‘mind’ usually denotes this principle as the subject of our conscious states, while ‘soul’ denotes the source of our vegetative activities as well… [so] if we define the soul as the principle within me, by which I feel, think, will, and by which my body is animated, we may provide a definition of mind of fairly wide acceptance by merely omitting the last clause.” In short, the mind is only a faculty of the soul, not the whole shebang. That’s why the Church has such an interest in things like the Terry Schiavo case from a few years back, because even if the mind is not functioning (as far as we can measure), the soul, the animating principle, is still present for as long as life remains in the body. The other catch is that the Church believes, as the glossary at the back of the U.S. Version of the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains, that the “soul and body together form one unique human nature. Each human soul is individual and immortal, immediately created by God. The soul does not die with the body, from which it is separated by death, and with which it will be reunited in the final resurrection.” Basically, the body and soul are a package deal, one unique set for each person, no trade-ins allowed.

Now if I’m interpreting all of this correctly (you should always check my math before relying on my conclusions), this has some interesting ramifications for the events depicted in Freejack. Based on how the characters describe the spiritual switchboard process, the implication is that McCandless’ mind will be moved into Alex’s body, thereby turning Alex into McCandless. But according to Catholic teaching, that’s not really what would occur because Alex’s soul, that which animates his body, would still be present. So, if Alex’s soul and Alex’s body are both still there after the mind transfer, then it’s still Alex, just with a bunch of false mental data gumming up the works. A technicality, perhaps, since the Alex his friends and loved ones knew probably wouldn’t act or think the same after the process, but an important technicality still. And even if the process did somehow involve the transference of souls, the result still wouldn’t be a new McCandless because Alex’s body would still have been uniquely created for Alex. At best (or worst, as the case may be), the result would be akin to a demonic possession, with McCandless’ soul cohabiting Alex’s body and exerting its will over that of its host.

But so what, right? After all, aren’t we just talking about a silly science fiction movie? Maybe, but folks like Kurzwell think there might be some fact mixed in there as well, and this presents some important ethical considerations for our real world future. If Kurzwell turns out to be correct and scientists somehow develop a process that allows them to make a digital copy of a person’s mind and download it into a synthetic container, just what the heck is it that they are creating? It won’t be a person, because it won’t have a soul, just a mind. Or to put it another way, it may walk and talk and act like your Aunt Gertie, but it won’t be your Aunt Gertie. Her soul would have moved on with the death of the organic body that was hers and hers alone.

Call me old fashioned, but I think that’s something which should be taken into consideration when you’re going around promising people the “immortality” of mind transference, because it won’t really be them continuing on at all, just some soulless simulation. Of course, none of this will matter to those who don’t believe in the existence of a soul to begin with, but it’s the truth, and we have an obligation to state the truth even when nobody will listen. "You don't need a new body, you need a new soul” claims Alex Furlong as they strap him to the spiritual switchboard, “and your machine can't give you that!” I wonder if he knew just how right he was.

THE STINGER

After Freejack crashed at the box office, you’d think Hollywood would have learned its lessons about mixing mind trips, music stars, and models. But no, just a few later the world was treated to Johnny Mnemonic featuring Ice-T, Henry Rollins, and Dina Meyer. It bombed too. Do we really want the minds of these kinds of decision makers sticking around for eternity?

COMING ATTRACTIONS: FREEJACK

Thanks to all the time I’ve been spending over at Aleteia watching stuff like The Heat we haven’t had a full-on movie review here for awhile. Well, something needs to be done about that. So sometime over the next couple of days, be sure to keep an eye out for our take on the Emilio Estevez/Mick Jagger sci-fi extravaganza… Freejack!

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PULP CATHOLICISM #023

PODCAST 54: Society & Ice Cream Man [Suburban Terror Edition]

This week Forest reviews the paranoid body-horror flick, Society, while Cory celebrates the summer weather yet again, by reviewing Ice Cream Man. All this and a new trivia segment has been added to the show. So test your horror filled brain during "Know Your Horror", and

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