Tuesday 16 August 2011

GOP Wants to Stop Movie About Killing Bin Laden. No, Not A Typo.

There is no feeling quite so warm to me as being proven correct about humanity, and the segment of humanity that occupies the political realm in particular. I understand that some view naked demonstrations of craven opportunism and bald-faced unironic sleaze with dismay, but for me they are cause for contentment - for they affirm that my instincts regarding a sizable majority of my loathsome species are still sharp and well-founded...

You may or may not be aware that Kathryn Bigelow is following up her Oscar-winning - though now essentially forgotten - "The Hurt Locker" (oh, now, be honest: for most people, reading that was the FIRST time you've thought about that movie in at least a year) with a feature based on the military operation dedicated the chasing down Osama Bin Laden. As you can imagine, the film now has a MUCH different ending than it would've when they started out.

You might imagine that American "conservative" lawmakers - whose relationship with the film industry for the last decade has been largely complaining that Hollywood wasn't delivering enough movies where Islamic Terrorists got blow'd up real good - would be psyched about this. I mean, set aside the whole "ALL Americans should be united on this" angle: 9/11 avenged by a gunshot wound to the face delivered by a Navy SEAL team on an "eff your borders, we want this bastard dead!" nighttime raid... you CANNOT get more bad-ass/macho right-wing "Amurrica Fuck Yeah!!!" than that. Right?

Well, not quite. See, the guy who happened to be President when we finally found Bin Laden - and thus got to be the President who gave the order - is a Democrat. And also a secretly-Muslim Kenyan Communist, apparently. And since a movie that, by it's very nature, will serve to remind people that Obama gave the order and thus MIGHT make people feel positively about him... IT MUST BE STOPPED! After all, if he IS re-elected, it's only a matter of time before whatever White Christian Babies haven't yet been ordered-aborted will be forcibly re-educated to believe in evolution during gay marriage ceremonies, and surely some other bad stuff, too.

And so, a Republican lawmaker has introduced a bill specifically designed to damage the film's production under the guise of "fiscal concerns." Essentially, it would bar the government from spending "taxpayer money" in the pursuit of sharing information between the Pentagon and the film's research/verification department - which would amount to asking Sony Pictures to reimburse the cost of all the copy-paper and bandwith used to answer Bigelow etc's "how did we do ______" questions.

But, really, it's ALL about making sure that a movie that MIGHT concievably lead someone to think a sliver of positive thought about Barack Obama. Honoring the service of SEAL Team 6? Immortalizing the end of an era in a proper narrative art form? Offering Americans still traumatized by 9/11 a small measure of catharsis? The GOP apparently does not consider those things to be nearly as important as making sure that Obama does not get a second term.

Folks... do you have any idea just HOW shameless and ethically-bankrupt ANY given action has to be for ME to be morally-affronted by it?

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