Monday 15 August 2011

Kevin Smith Making Epic Two-Part Four-Hour Hockey Comedy, Will Subsequently Retire

Of all the 90s-indie-kids-made-good filmmakers, the one I'd NEVER have expected to flame-out in a spectacular, slow-motion, ego-drive career collapse would've been Kevin Smith. But it's been happening, and now it appears to be reaching a crescendo: Slashfilm reports that Smith's much-ballyhooed "final film" before self-imposed retirement from directing, a comedy/drama about a hockey player called "Hit Somebody," has a script so long that Smith can't (or won't) find a way to compress it into one movie... so instead he's making two.

For those who'd stopped caring enough to follow the production of Kevin Smith movies (so, pretty-much everyone I imagine) "Hit Somebody" is about a lovable-bruiser of a "goon" hockey player whose employed by his team (and celebrated by the crowds) for his ability to bust heads for the cause of protecting the star players who score the big goals... but he's actually a nice guy, and has always dreamed of scoring one big goal himself. In case you're wondering - no, Smith didn't swipe the screenplay for an unproduced Adam Sandler vehicle; this is actually an adaptation of a Warren Zevon song written by Mitch Albom. You cannot make this shit up.

The song starts out in the character's childhood and follows him into the NHL, and that's more-or-less the way Smith says he'll split it - Part I being about the character growing up, the Pro-Hockey stuff in the Part II. Again, this is a comedy about a guy who starts hockey fights for a living.

Sean William Scott was originally supposed to play to lead, but bailed in favor of another hockey comedy called "Goon."

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