"Machine Gun Preacher." No, really. That's what they called this.

Hello, friend.

Have you ever wondered "How could they make 'The Blind Side' even moreso the ultimate 'Red State' movie?" Did you ever arrive at the conclusion that the only way for that to happen would be to change the lead character from an upscale white woman who saves helpless black people through the power of Christian righteousness and her NRA card to a blue-collar white man who saves an entire nation of helpless black people through Christian righteousness... and a rocket-launcher?

Brother, have I got a movie for you...

FWIW, I feel genuinely envious of anyone whose soul is intact enough to look at that poster and not immediately assume that it's a parody of something. It's the kid that does it - I cannot look at this and not think "You have GOT to be kidding."




I'm sorry. I feel kinda bad about shitting on this because the real guy it's based on sounds like a "real deal" hero, and if there's ONE decent function of religion it's inspiring guys like this to do this sort of thing... but the poster? The trailer? Everything from the dramatic-rise-from-baptism shot to the title to the poster to the very presence of Gerard "We Couldn't Afford Jason Statham" Butler screams 'unintended parody' to me.