Friday 30 August 2013

LIFE’S LIKE A MOVIE: THE DENTIST 2

dentist 2

Well, if you read my last post, then you know I began my Labor Day weekend at the dentist’s having two teeth extracted. In my case, that apparently required one person to lean on my skull while the dentist clamped my jaw open and used two hands to saw and twist and saw and twist until the stubborn things finally came loose. As it turns out, the wisdom tooth that had grown in at a 90 degree angle and was jabbing into the root of the one next to it (anybody passed out yet?) wasn’t really what was causing most of the pain. After all, as I mentioned yesterday, they’ve been in that condition for over decade. No, the problem was that an infection had finally settled in over the past couple of weeks and the tissue surrounding the two teeth was a mass of raw hurt. The downside to this was that despite the extra painkiller the dentist helpfully dumped into the area, I still felt quite a lot of what was going on during the procedure. The nurse’s comments about the impressive amount of bleeding didn’t help things either.

I have to admit, about two thirds of the way through this very long hour the thought crossed my mind that if it had been anybody else but a doctor brutalizing me this way, I would have already beaten the holy hell out of them by this point. But of course I didn’t, mainly for two reasons. One is that it was all my fault to begin with for waiting so long to have the problem addressed. Why did I put it off for over a decade, you ask? Because I’m a typical man, that’s why. If somebody shot me, the only way you’d get me to go to the emergency room is if I couldn’t chew the bullet out myself. So basically I was paying the price for ignoring the problem. The other reason is that, unlike Corbin Bernsen in The Dentist 2, my doctor was not some escaped mental patient intent on doing me harm, but was instead a professional who was actually trying to help me by scraping and ripping out the results of my own obstinacy. The fact that it was painful was simply unavoidable.

In short, I received a small taste of Purgatory. As the Catechism explains, “All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven… The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire.” Now whether that cleansing fire is meant to be taken literally or figuratively, who’s to say, but the idea is that this process of purification will involve some amount of pain for the person undergoing it. I suppose tearing rot out at the root, be it from your mouth or from your soul, always does. But it’s a pain with an element of joy attached to it, because just like the thought that kept me sitting in that dentist’s chair, you know the end result will be worth it. Still, in hindsight, I would have preferred to avoid the chair, just like I wouldn’t mind skipping Purgatory if at all possible when the time comes. Hopefully I’m taking better care of my soul than I did my teeth.

Escape to The Movies: "GETAWAY"

Nobody cares.

Intermission: "Summer School."


WRITTEN REVIEW: Spine Tingler!: The William Castle Story

By FOREST TAYLOR
It Seems that gimmicks in movies are a thing of the past. Aside from 3D, which seems more of a means to increase the price of tickets, every movie is made in exactly the same way these days. But there was a time when gimmicks ruled movies as a way to compete with the
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Thursday 29 August 2013

LIFE’S LIKE A MOVIE: THE DENTIST

So, after a couple of weeks of laughing off the growing discomfort inside my mouth, I woke up yesterday with the distinct impression (by which I mean stabbing pain) that the situation wasn’t all that funny anymore. And, of course, my worst suspicions were confirmed when my local hygienist strapped my head into one of those new fangled spinning x-ray machines and the results came back looking like this…

dentist2

Now, my wisdom teeth have been bothering me on and off for about fifteen years, but never to the point where I felt the need to have them removed. However, when the dental assistant remarked, “The doctor will have to say for sure, but I’m guessing this tooth that has grown in sideways and is boring into the root of the one next to it might be your problem,” well, I figured the time had come. Unfortunately, my being who I am, all I can think about before my extraction tomorrow is this…

Dentist3

I mean, really, as nice a guy as my dentist is, how do I know he didn’t go home tonight and discover his wife was cheating on him just like in the movie, and then he’s going to show up tomorrow morning with homicide in his heart while I innocently lie there waiting on him to rip things out of my skull. Wonderful.

This sounds like a job for St. Appolonia! As legends tell it, Appolonia was one of the many Christians who suffered martyrdom under the reign of Emperor Philip the Arab during the mid third century. As detailed by St. Dionysius, Bishop of Alexandria at the time, “Apollonia, parthénos presbytis, was held in high esteem. These men seized her also and by repeated blows broke all her teeth. They then erected outside the city gates a pile of fagots and threatened to burn her alive if she refused to repeat after them impious words. Given, at her own request, a little freedom, she sprang quickly into the fire and was burned to death.” Because of what happened with her teeth, the Church has declared Apollonia the patron saint of dentists and toothaches, and you can often find her depicted with pincers in which a tooth (sometimes glowing) is held.

appolonia

You can even find reliquaries around which reputedly hold one of her teeth. This one’s from Portugal.

appolonia tooth

So rather than sit here and worry that my dentist is going to go all Corbin Bernsen on me, I think I’ll just say the following prayer instead.

0 Glorious Apollonia, patron saint of dentistry and refuge to all those suffering from diseases of the teeth, I consecrate myself to thee, beseeching thee to number me among thy clients. Assist me by your intercession with God in my daily work and intercede with Him to obtain for me a happy death. Pray that my heart like thine may be inflamed with the love of Jesus and Mary, through Christ our Lord. Amen. 0 My God, bring me safe through temptation and strengthen me as thou didst our own patron Apollonia, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

James Spader is ULTRON. So Then What, Exactly, is Ultron?

At this point, let's just start making lists of longtime friends of Robert Downey Jr. and assume that they're all going to wind up in Marvel Movies eventually. James Spader has been cast as ULTRON for "Avengers 2." Newsworthy in and of itself, definitely, but interesting because it highlights the fact that there's a lot more mystery this time around.

The only "secret" in the first "Avengers" was what the aliens were going to be called (and that still seems more like the result of Marvel going into production without actually knowing what name/design they were legally allowed to use since these were clearly supposed to be Skrulls at one point); but since it's already been confirmed that the movie Ultron will have a different origin (in the comics he's a rogue invention of perennial super-science fuck-up Hank Pym, aka "Ant-Man" whose movie isn't due out until after A2) this is that rare moment where longtime fans aren't really ahead of the game as to what the story of a Marvel Studios production is going to be (no, "predicting" that "Avengers" would go "meet, disagree, make up, smack the Putty Patrol around NYC" doesn't count.)

Hit the jump for some crazy theories:


Ultron's origin in the comics is a bit convoluted: He first shows up as a masked mystery-villain, then reveals himself to be a humanoid robot, then reveals that he's a self-improving, artificially-intelligent machine that originated as an early stab at sentient robotics by Dr. Pym that went nuts (Oedipus Complex - he hates his "father" and is obsessed with Pym's then-girlfriend Janet Van Dyne aka "The Wasp") and ran off to go become evil.


The announcement-teaser shown at SDCC was an extreme-closeup of what looked like a new Iron Man helmet under-construction, zooming out to reveal Ultron's face at the very end. That started what's probably the easiest "call" to make guessing-game wise: With no Ant-Man on the scene, Ultron's creator will probably end up being Tony Stark (in comics, Ultron It makes the most sense, and it's not like Marvel would be against having more things in these movies lead back to Iron Man. One of the Iron Man armors gets a mind of it's own? That's not a bad new origin, and as good a way as any to get Stark back into the game after he more or less (SPOILER ALERT!) decides to dial back on the Iron Man-ing at the end of "Iron Man 3."

The fun conclusion jumped to next: The "A.I. gone bad" mind inside Ultron will be J.A.R.V.I.S., Stark's personal A.I. voiced in all the movies thus far by Paul Bettany. That'd be a cool twist and a novel use of the shared-universe conceit (minor character from one series becomes a big bad in the team-up ten films later), and hypnotizing the human-butler version of Jarvis was part of Ultron's debut story in Avengers #68, but with Spader now confirmed as the voice (and probably fake-human "face," at least some of the time) of the character that theory seems to be out the window.

Or is it? I've got a theory of my own: Very silly, kind of crazy, pretty unlikely but not 100% outside the realm of possibility:

What if Ultron is DUMMY?*

As in "Dummy," the semi-self-aware robotic arm that Tony Stark keeps around for menial tasks, treats like the world's dumbest robot dog but also seems to have some kind of sentimentality about (he's one of the few things being taken away from the ruins of Stark's house in IM3)? It's already been established, after all, that Dummy is more-or-less the precursor to J.A.R.V.I.S. and all Stark's other robot/robot-esque projects...


...so it'd make a nice retrofit of the comics' origin (and maybe another chance to give Pepper Potts something to do in an "Avengers" movie, something RDJ insisted on in the first one.) And if you're looking to send audiences home with some kind of lingering "whoa," the idea that a comic relief background player from "Iron Man" turns into a dangerous villain more-or-less because of all that abuse we were laughing at would do it - plus, you KNOW that Downey's "...DUMMY!??" reaction would be fucking priceless.

Ultron the Big Scary Terminator-Esque Robot is giving his big "Reap what you sow!!!" self-justifying villain speech, an instead of flashing back to a war-zone or some childhood trauma it's just scene after scene of RDJ being a dick to a robot arm? GOLD. Potential subsequent related dialogue? ("I yell at my microwave at least once a day and it never tried to take over the world or kill me! ...well, okay maybe that one time.") Solid.



Realistically, this is pretty damn unlikely - mostly because it it might be a little too far over the line between "good silly" (re: Thor) and "too silly" (re: Frog Thor,") but I'd be all over it. Meanwhile, I wouldn't count J.A.R.V.I.S. out as having a bigger role in a robot/AI-related story: If both Ultron and Scarlet Witch are in this, it'd be really surprising if The Vision didn't turn up as well.


*Just so we're clear: If it turns out I'm even half right about this, I'm never ever shutting up about it.

40th Telluride Film Festival

Yesterday organizers unveiled the "secret" lineup and as always lineup is a nice collection of world films with most films coming from Cannes, but also from Berlinale and La Mostra. Enjoy!


Wednesday 28 August 2013

Tuesday 27 August 2013

Awards Statue Engravers Suddenly Frantic To Master Proper Spelling Of "MCCONAUGHEY"

Actors who started out as "heartthrobs" only to descend into walking-joke territory getting serious comebacks in middle-age is becoming a trend of 21st Century Hollywood, what with Robert Downey Jr. improbably serving as the masthead of a Disney action franchise and Ben Affleck getting cast in some sort of caped-person movie over the weekend. It's been looking for awhile now that Matthew McConaughey would be added to that list after solid turns in little-seen features like "Lincoln Lawyer" and "Killer Joe." Now he's going full steam ahead with "Dallas Buyers Club," a biopic of hard-living rodeo cowboy Ron Woodroof who, after being diagnosed with HIV in 1985 and nearly dying from ineffective AZT treatments, went looking for FDA-unapproved medications in Mexico; eventually becoming the unassuming leader of a semi-underground meds-smuggling network - ultimately keeping himself alive about six and a half years longer than his initial diagnosis projected.



OSCAR: "A true story, you say? Average rural bigot (Woodroof was apparently not the biggest fan of the gay community prior to his experience) opens his eyes and becomes a hero, you say? One-man-against-The-System, you say? AIDS you say!? Attractive famous person losing a bunch of weight to simulate debilitating illness, you say!!???"

Still, hell of a trailer. There's the usual heavy-sigh to be had about how of course it takes finding a story wherein the hero/victim/martyr is a straight white guy whose so classically All American he's a literal Cowboy to get mainstream audiences to show up for a movie about just how much of a blind eye we turned to the AIDS crisis... but effective is effective.

SHORT FEATURE: ROLLIN’ WILD

Writing in Les Misérables, Victor Hugo made this observation:

It is our conviction that if souls were visible to the eyes, we should be able to see distinctly that strange thing that each one individual of the human race corresponds to some one of the species of the animal creation; and we could easily recognize this truth, hardly perceived by the thinker, that from the oyster to the eagle, from the pig to the tiger, all animals exist in man, and that each one of them is in a man. Sometimes even several of them at a time. Animals are nothing else than the figures of our virtues and our vices, straying before our eyes, the visible phantoms of our souls. God shows them to us in order to induce us to reflect.

Well, if you believe Ol’ Vic was right, then by all means, reflect on this…

…and then back away from those Twinkies you’ve been eyeing for the past hour.

Okay, okay, maybe you can have just one. After all, Fr. John A. Hardon’s Modern Catholic Dictionary defines Gluttony as the “inordinate desire for the pleasure connected with food or drink. This desire may become sinful in various ways: by eating or drinking far more than a person needs to maintain bodily strength; by glutting one’s taste for certain kinds of food with known detriment to health; by indulging the appetite for exquisite food or drink, especially when these are beyond one’s ability to afford a luxurious diet; by eating or drinking too avidly, i.e., ravenously; by consuming alcoholic beverages to the point of losing full control of one’s reasoning powers. Intoxication that ends in complete loss of reason is a mortal sin if brought on without justification, e.g., for medical reasons.” So, assuming your ‘need’ for that Twinkie doesn’t fall into one of the above categories, you should be safe in unwrapping one of those spongy, yellow, delicious bas… well, I’ll let you Zombieland fans finish the rest of that description.

The point is, having a second helping or indulging in a little midnight snack does not necessarily make one a glutton. Like with all the other seven deadly sins and their associated material items (Greed/Wealth, Lust/Sex, etc.), the consumption of food only lapses into Gluttony when the material thing, or the pursuit thereof, begins to take precedence over God and his commandments. So if you’re sitting in mass and all you can think about is Twinkies, then maybe you’ve got a problem. But if it’s just snack time, you don’t look like the animals in that video, and you’re pretty sure that one Twinkie’s not going to be the thing that tips the scales and gives you a heart attack, then you’re conscious is probably safe if you decide to scarf it down. Just don’t think too much about what’s actually in it and everything should be a-okay.

The Big Picture: "BATFLECK"

Yes, because everyone else jumped off the bridge, too.

Monday 26 August 2013

Expiration Watch: What's New Is Old

Netflix giveth, and Netflix taketh away. Passing into Instant exile�if not downright oblivion�are a number of significant titles, including a couple of Oscar winners and a handful of movies previously spotlighted here. Taking the hit are such stalwart directors as Howard Hawks, John Carpenter, Barry Levinson and Mike Figgis, as well as stars Kevin Costner, Kurt Russell, Dustin Hoffman, Ashley Judd, Burt Reynolds and Nicolas Cage. Not to mention James Caan and those pesky Bond films...

Speaking of Caan, it seems the original Rollerball�reviewed here as a new title only last week�was simply on a one-month streaming loan. As of August 31 at midnight, it will once again be skating off into the distance. Thanks for the tease, Netflix.

Also on loan were those eternally recurring James Bond films, which arrived on 8/1 and will be departing on 9/2. At this rate I suppose we can hope for another return in the near future? I've only been tracking these titles since April, so I'm not sure how regularly such shenanigans occur.

Other titles previously recommended are the dark, fictionalized(?) biopic of game show producer/assassin Chuck Barris, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (review)�written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by George Clooney�and the wonderful coming-of-age comedy, Slums of Beverly Hills (review), with Natasha Lyonne as a brashly curious teen growing up with her nomadic family in 1970s Los Angeles. (10/1 Update: Confessions is now back!)

That brings us to this month's new expiring entries, starting with a couple of notable Oscar winners.

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Thursday 22 August 2013

BEN AFFLECK IS BATMAN

Headline kind of says it all. Nothing else to report, but there you go. Ben Affleck is the new Dark Knight for "Batman vs. Superman." This only just now happened, so not much else to say. A few thoughts do come to mind immediately, however...



Okay, Internet? Get it out of your system: Bennifer. Gigli. Jersey Girl. Reindeer Games. Armageddon. Ha ha ha. None of that matters. Literally. Affleck is basically a post-larvae actor/director at this point - nothing before "Gone Baby Gone" matters. Ben's the man.

Besides, he wasn't the problem in "Daredevil." If he played Batman/Bruce Wayne in the same basic manner as Daredevil/Matt Murdock he'd be the best one apart from Keaton, Conroy, Bader and Adam West (Fuck you, Adam West was good.)

This doesn't automatically mean the movie is that much closer to not sucking. Not using Christian Bale means this won't totally be the played-out Nolan Batman, yes. Not casting someone appreciably older than Henry Cavill means it can't be that close to "Dark Knight Returns;" but those pernicious influences are still there.

Fun Fact #1: Unless I'm forgetting someone, this makes Ben Affleck the only actor who has ever played Batman AND Superman (look it up.)

Fun Fact #2: This actually isn't a total surprise: Back when Warner Bros. was still committed to "Justice League" coming out opposite "Avengers 2," they offered Affleck the director's chair on that one with the caveat that he also play Batman. Supposedly he said no at the time. One thing changed... I wonder if the other thing has, too?

Poor Henry Cavill. Not only do they think you need Batman's help to make people want to see you as Superman again, they think you need Oscar-Winning-Megastar-Batman.

Honestly? I'm immediately fond of this decision - and not just because it means he might possibly maybe bring some (or all?) of the production of a DC movie or two here to Boston. This guy is a good actor, he can play tough, he has range... but he's also funny and "regular." I'm sure the paycheck on this is big enough that he'd do the part in helium-voice if they asked, but if they let him play Batman as something other than the one-note growling asshole we've been putting up with for the last decade he could really be something special. Enough time has passed since George Clooney - we can have a stable, semi-happy Batman again.

Seriously, though - Ben? Mr. Affleck? Please bring some or all of this production to Boston. The last Gotham City was in fucking Philly for crissakes.

Let's get THIS dull idiocy out of the way: No, Matt Damon would be a shitty Robin. Casey Affleck for Robin, though? That I like. Jennifer Garner would be a not-awful Wonder Woman, but that's not gonna happen. No, Kevin Smith doesn't need to be anywhere near this - he's probably gonna launch another fucking circlejerk podcast just to "cover" this, let it be.

Now, Matt Damon for Lex Luthor, on the other hand? I'm listening.

PERSPECTIVE: Honestly, whether or not "Batman vs. Superman" is good is ultimately a negligible thing at this point. They're not gonna stop making superhero movies anytime soon, if this one doesn't work they'll get right eventually. This is good news strictly on the basis that the guy behind "Gone Baby Gone," "The Town" and "Argo" is going to have enough Fuck You Money to make whatever the HELL he wants for the forseeable future. That's why we call these things "tentpoles," kids.

Y'know what's funny? The logic used to be that DC heroes (or, more specifically, anyone from "Superfriends") were well-known/iconic enough to sell themselves, while Marvel's roster would probably need A-list megastars to make mainstream audiences give a shit.

Wednesday 21 August 2013

PULP CATHOLICISM #030

Pulp Catholicism 030

New August Titles (2013)

Among the notable titles joining Netflix Instant this month are a stellar example of '70s sci-fi, the Spike Lee joint of Spike Lee joints, an underrated drama from the writer-director of personal fave The Fabulous Baker Boys, Christopher Nolan in his more forgetful, pre-Dark Knight days, and a bit of unabashed filth from the mind (and groin) of Kevin Smith.

Rollerball (1975) - EXPIRED 9/1/13

Once upon a time, in a decade far, far away, science-fiction movies were built on ideas, not special effects. Before Star Wars changed the rules (and box-office expectations), all you needed to make a sci-fi flick were a respectable actor (say, Sean Connery or Charlton Heston or Robert Duvall), a script with some cautionary message reflecting the day's concerns, a newly built, futuristic-looking mall or campus as your setting, a few cool-looking props and/or model space ships, and maybe a miniature of a domed city. Presto�big-screen dystopian future. Those were the days of Zardoz, Logan's Run, Soylent Green, The Man Who Fell to Earth, and THX-1138, among others. Granted, most are not what you'd call "great" films, but they're all provocative and idiosyncratic (and flawed) in ways that give them an organic charm�something sorely missing from today's machine-stamped blockbusters. Even Rollerball�which posits a future run by benevolent corporations who keep the peace by pitting nations against each other in an internationally sanctioned blood sport�alternates its bursts of violence with hushed, meditative talks about free will and human nature (as well as the random burning of trees as party trick).

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PODCAST 61: Jaws: The Revenge & Antiviral

This week Forest brings his Jaws-a-thon to a conclusion with Jaws: The Revenge, and this time it's personal. Cory shares his thoughts on Antiviral, the first feature film of Brandon Cronenberg, son of film maker David Cronenberg.
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Monday 19 August 2013

THINGS TO COME: SQUIRRELS

So, this might be happening…

Reportedly based on an idea by Timur Bekmambetov (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Night Watch) and possibly to be directed by Ethan Maniquis (Machete), Squirrels, if it actually secures enough funding to get made, will tell the terrifying story of Mother Nature looking for revenge on the people who done her wrong. According to Bleeding Cool, the synopsis goes like this…

When a young man’s estranged father is killed under suspicious circumstances, he returns home for the first time in years to get to the bottom of the mystery. Hoping to uncover some logical explanation, he instead finds his mom’s sleazy new boyfriend, a natural gas company buying up the town, an angry female sheriff who happens to be his ex-girlfriend, and an army of flesh-eating squirrels hellbent on destroying everything in their path due to an erosion of their food chain as a result of environmental destruction by the gas company.

That’s right, folks, the latest threat to mankind is anti-fracking squirrels! That’s fracking as in the hydraulic mining technique by the way, not the oft-used expletive from Battlestar Galactica. Although, thinking about it, I suppose it’s quite possible squirrels might not be fans of thinly disguised profanity either, who knows? Either way, it’s still vicious evil anti-fracking squirrels which, as we’ve noted before, probably wouldn’t surprise St. Thomas Caninas at all.

The decidedly human St. Thomas Aquinas, on the other hand, would likely have been sure to accept the wisdom of the Catechism on the matter, particularly the part where it riffs on Pope Paul VI’s Gaudium Et Spes. “Each creature possesses its own particular goodness and perfection.” it states, “For each one of the works of the ‘six days’ it is said: ‘And God saw that it was good.’ ‘By the very nature of creation, material being is endowed with its own stability, truth and excellence, its own order and laws.’ Each of the various creatures, willed in its own being, reflects in its own way a ray of God's infinite wisdom and goodness. Man must therefore respect the particular goodness of every creature, to avoid any disordered use of things which would be in contempt of the Creator and would bring disastrous consequences for human beings and their environment.”

So if it could somehow be proven that fracking creates man-eating squirrels, then obviously that would represent a disordered use of our natural resources and we should find a better way to accomplish what fracking does. But if it doesn’t result in bloodthirtsy yard-rats, or any other kind of disastrous consequence, then fracking could be an okay practice as part of our stewardship of God’s creation. Which is it? Personally, I haven’t done enough research to know an answer to that yet. All I know is that God instructs us to make the effort to find out before we get started. Reasonable enough given the threat of ravenous rodents hanging from our bird feeders, don’t you think?

"Blue Caprice" Trailer

The "Beltway Sniper" killings seem like a lot longer ago than they were (2002), but then so does the presence of Isaiah Washington in a real movie:

Saturday 17 August 2013

"The Last Eagle Scout" - A Tea-Party Propaganda Action/Comedy From The Creator of "Will It Blend?" Really.

Remember "Will It Blend?" A viral-marketing campaign for high-end blenders that was kinda funny on YouTube a few years ago? No? Well, it was funny. Did you ever wonder what Kels Goodman, the independent filmmaker who put the campaign together, was up to now? No, again? Well, too bad - I'm gonna show you anyway.

As it turns out, Utah's own (because of course) Kels Goodman thinks of himself as a right-wing agent provocateur. His statement to the world? "The Last Eagle Scout," a paranoid "Dramedy" action-fantasy seemingly comprised (if it's trailer is any indication) entirely of Michelle Bachman talking-points (and which it's website repeatedly calls a "dramedy." The premise? The Liberals (embodied by, I shit you not, Congressman Jude Marx) have established a "political correctness" dictatorship in America - depriving the citizenry of Baby Jesus Sanctified RIGHTS!!! to shitty snack foods, enforcing a secularized version of the Pledge of Allegiance, a "citizen's task force" (PRIVATE OBAMA THUG ARMY OH NOES!!!) etc. But when they cross the line by using a terrible accident ("false flag operation," calling it right now) as pretext to defund and dismantle The Boy Scouts, one lone heroic smug blonde douchebag with a slingshot opts to go all "Red Dawn" on their asses.

Trailer and other sundries below the jump, kiddies - I swear, as near as anyone can tell, this is not an elaborate joke, it's the real thing:




...Yeah. It's not quite the divine vintage of 9/11-broke-my-brain idiocy as, say, "Liberality For All," but it's not for lack of trying. Amid all the more obvious stupidity ("LOL because gun-free-zones in schools is EXACTLY the same thing as banning nail-clippers!") I think my favorite thing is the uber-earnest Aryan goodber playing the hero "Cliff" trying so hard to pull off the Dirty Harry/Snake Plissken/John McClane grim, disaffected hero thing. That's it, kiddo - cock that head at an angle, glare n' stammer, act like there's a weird sound only you can hear going off behind you during dialogue scenes. Reach for the stars.

Oh, and in case you thought maybe this was just some harmless goofery by jerks with cameras, check out this rancid scene from the movie itself; which introduces "Boys Of The Nation," the Evil Liberal Government's replacement for The Boy Scouts that drops outdoor activities and moral instruction for "tolerance," male/male hugging, fashion, shopping, baking and a badge called "The Flaming Torch." GET IT!!??



What, you thought you were gettin' out of this without a nice big helping of feminization/gay-bashing? You should know better than that by now.

This... thing apparently hit DVD last week or so. Has anyone had the (dis)pleasure?

Brainstorm: Could OPRAH Save The DC Universe?

Hear me out on this one, folks.

By tonight, the movie news of the weekend will be that "Lee Daniel's The Butler" (a not particularly good but well-intended film) will be the boxoffice champ of the weekend - probably by more so than will even be initially reported because the film press tends to ignore Sunday, a day on which "black films" almost always over-perform. Fairly or not, much like for Daniels' "Precious" a lot of the credit for that is going to be laid on the presence of media omni-figure Oprah Winfrey. For whatever reason, the fact of this made something "click" in my head:

Warner Bros. should cut whatever check would need to be cut to get Oprah to turn up in "Batman vs. Superman" as Amanda Waller.



Technically, Waller started out as a government-affiliated bad guy in mid-80s comics, but the character has evolved over time (before being ruined, along with everything else, by The New 52), thanks in part to memorable turns by CCH Pounder in the DC Animated Universe shows, into a kind of morally-ambiguous counterpart to Nick Fury (movie version); a human official unafraid to try and "manage" the presence of superhuman beings on Earth by whatever means necessary. Angela Bassett played a version of the character in "Green Lantern," but nobody cares about anything that happened in or around "Green Lantern."

Here's the thing: WB wants very badly to imitate the profitable shared-universe that Disney/Marvel have going on, but they clearly have no plan or idea how to get there - the latest gossip is that they're willing to give Christian Bale one of the biggest paydays in history to do ONE more appearance for "Batman vs. Superman," which would means they're right back to re-casting Batman for "Justice League." A character like this - who can easily turn up in multiple related films for a memorable cameo - is a good way to at least start getting there; and it'd fit with the residual Nolanized downer vibe that WB is still insisting on for "their version" to be an alternately friendly or villainous buzzkill.


The main thing that's always made Waller unique is, frankly, that she's a middle-aged, plus-sized black woman; a character type that practically doesn't exist in mainstream comics, to say nothing of holding a position of substantial power. If that's the character your casting, why wouldn't you make an offer to the actual most powerful/influential middle-aged plus-sized black woman on the planet who also happens to be a not-terrible actress? And who is really, really well-suited to the part?

Yes, you'd get a tidal-wave of reflexive fanboy hate right off the bat. College Humor etc. would have spoof material for weeks ("You get a Batmobile! You get a Batmobile!"), the whole shebang. But it would dissipate if/when they see her being good in the first SDCC sizzle-reel - besides, they're still gonna go see it. The benefit you get - namely the immediate attention of several huge audience segments that normally couldn't give less of a shit about these movies: She shows up in the trailer, even for a moment? Suddenly your on a ton of radars you weren't before. There's a whole nation of moms out there with superhero-junkie kids who would flip for the idea of Oprah turning up to essentially tell Batman to finish his vegetables and clean his goddamn room, for starters.

Also... let's face it, she's one of the best self-promoters on the planet and there's no way you don't benefit from that: DCU movies would likely have prime booking and promotion on her TV network and affiliated shows, an even bigger segment of the press is paying attention, and the only possible downside would be if she somehow proved unable to convincingly portray a character that could be summarized as "You, but a hardass and wearing a suit."

Would it be a risk? A little bit, yeah. But a better investment (with much better potential payoff) than dropping $50 Million for another 150 minutes of "BWHEREIZZET?? BWHERSTHATREGGAR!!!???"

Friday 16 August 2013

Escape to The Movies: "KICK-ASS 2"

Relax, it's fun.

Also got to "Jobs" and "Lee Daniels' The Butler" in Intermission. Less fun.

WRITTEN REVIEW: Horror Effects: Hosted by Tom Savini

By CORY CARR
Horror Effects is an interesting meet and greet style conversation with effects legend Tom Savini. He recounts some of his favorite effects from thought the years and how he accomplished these effects. We also see on set, and behind the scenes footage from Savini’s
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Thursday 15 August 2013

Pretty Please?

From Simon Pegg's official Twitter, presented without commentary:

Slippery When Wet: THE ICE HARVEST

"Just act normal for a few hours and we're home free."

This advice, dispensed to Charlie Arglist (John Cusack) by partner-in-crime Vic Cavanaugh (Billy Bob Thornton), is, of course, the crumbling bedrock on which many a crime film is built. And yet Cusack's weak-willed mob lawyer, who along with shady businessman Vic has just ripped off Charlie's boss to the tune of $2 million, truly believes in the perfect crime. As he explains in The Ice Harvest's opening narration, pulling one off is "only a matter of character."

But character is in short supply where Charlie is concerned. Waiting for the city's icy roads to clear before he and Vic can hightail it out of Wichita, Charlie spends one of history's most depressing Christmas Eves laying low at a favorite strip club, acting anything but normal. It's not long before he's dragging behind him a trail of interested parties, including mob enforcer Roy Gelles, strip club owner Renata Crest, an ass-kissing cop, a favor-seeking politician, and Charlie's drunken buddy Pete (Oliver Platt), who happens to be married to his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Vic is no longer giving Charlie the warm fuzzies about their shared plan, adding to his growing paranoia.

Read more �

Wednesday 14 August 2013

PULP CATHOLICISM #029

Pulp Catholicism 029

PODCAST 60: Jaws 3 & American Mary

This week Forest continues his four part Jaws-a-thon with Jaws 3 and Cory takes on American Mary, a film that has gotten quite a bit of attention. Could it be kissing cousins? More like transplant twins.
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Tuesday 13 August 2013

THE B-LIST LIST: SEVEN LOW BUDGET SATANS

The latest poll from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life reports that only 56% of all people actually believe the devil exists. Be that as it may, that hasn’t stopped Satan (or at least someone using one of his nomenclatures) from popping up in the movies 975 times (and counting), which probably makes Ol’ Scratch the most filmed character in movie history. With that many credits to his name, it’s likely most people have seen at least a few onscreen portrayals of the devil. Some of the more noted ones to take a shot at the role include Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick, Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate, and Robert De Niro in Angel Heart. But it’s not just Oscar winners in big budget productions who’ve taken the time to examine the character of history’s greatest arch-fiend. B-Movies are also full of interesting takes on Lucifer, ones which illustrate aspects of his character as defined by the Bible.

satan haxan

Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)

One of the oldest portrayals of Satan on the big screen is also one of the most classic, obviously inspiring the look of many cinematic Satans to follow. Director Benjamin Christensen himself suited up in order to offer a vision epitomizing the creature Revelation 12:9 describes as “the huge dragon, the ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, who deceived the whole world.”

satan prophecy 2

The Prophecy (1995)

Before he was wowing the ladies in The Lord of the Rings movies, Viggo Mortensen was trying to destroy their souls in this classic cult film. Viggo obviously must have taken the time to read 1 Peter 5:8 where it explains our “opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for [someone] to devour,” because he does his fair share of both in this flick.

satan demon knight

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

John 8:44 tells us the devil “was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in truth, because there is no truth in him.” Few celluloid Satans personify this better than Billy Zane’s Collector. Sure, he’ll promise you whatever you want, but don’t fall for it, it’s just a ruse to feed you to some zombies. 

satan glen_or_glenda

Glen or Glenda

John 8:44 also tells us that Satan “is a liar and the father of lies.” If you ever get the strange desire to actually try and analyze Ed Wood’s ode to transvestism, you’ll probably realize that’s what the devil is doing at Glen’s wedding. At this point in the film, Glen is still hiding his love of wearing women’s angora sweaters from his new bride, in effect lying to her about the man she is marrying. It’s a lie that nearly destroys their marriage, an institution the devil isn’t very fond of to begin with.

satan lisa devil

Lisa and the Devil (1973)

Who loves you, baby? Not the devil, that’s for sure, despite the fact that he’s played by the one and only Telly Savalas in this bit of Euro-Shock (and yes, the devil does indeed suck on a lollipop during the film). The combination of the corruption of the main character and the movie’s mid-air finale calls to mind Ephesians 2:2 in which Satan is described as “the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the disobedient.”

satan mr frost

Mister Frost (1990)

As could be expected, Jeff Goldblum’s take on Satan is a bit offbeat. While we often hear that the devil’s greatest trick is how he convinced the world he doesn’t exist, Goldblum’s fallen angel is far too much of a narcissist to allow that sort of ignorance to go on for too long. With too many atheists cluttering the modern era, the titular Mr. Frost thinks it’s time to remind the world just who it is that 2 Corinthians calls “the god of this age [who] has blinded the minds of the unbelievers.”

satan dinosaurs

Dinosaurs (1991)

You know, not many TV series can say they ended with an ice age that killed off every character on the show. But before that happened, Dinosaurs gave us an episode in which Earl, the hapless prehistoric papa, makes a deal with the dinosaur version of the devil after watching an episode of "Lifestyles of Those We Envy." I guess Earl was around before Matthew 4:3 was written to warn us that Satan was “the tempter,” but considering The Serpent has been that way since all the way back in Genesis chapter 3 (possibly even before if Dinosaurs is any indication), Earl probably should have known better anyway. 

And just for the heck of it, here’s a bonus Satan in his very first appearance on the silver screen in Georges Méliès’ The House of the Devil (aka The Devil’s Casle) from 1896. I’m not exactly sure what this film has to say about Beelzebub, but considering it’s yet another movie in which the director plays the devil himself, maybe it’s meant to tell us something about filmmakers instead.

 

Woody Allen is a Pimp (For Real) in John Turturro's "FADING GIGOLO"

John Turturro has written, directed and starred in a movie wherein Woody Allen is his best friend who shows up at his workplace to announce that he's arranged for him to earn a quick $2,000 for having a threesome with Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara. Huh.

Following that logic, I can only assume that the sequel will involve Werner Herzog tossing him the keys to a space-shuttle with it's own private onboard Whattaburger, after which he draw Excalibur from the stone to defeat King Ghidorah, for which he will be awarded the WWE Championshp.

Big Picture: "It Seems Today..."

You get where we're going with this.


Saturday 10 August 2013

Happy K-Day

Anyone who cares probably already knew this, but today (August 10th, 2013) is K-DAY - the date, in "Pacific Rim's" timeline, when the first Kaiju (Trespasser) appears in San Francisco. I can think of at least one way to mark the occasion (technically, the "event" runs through 8/15 since it takes five days to kill the thing) - though it's kind of sad that there aren't more screens left to go see it on...

Friday 9 August 2013

Escape to The Movies: "Elysium"

Get out there and support this one, guys. It's a winner.

Intermission: "Let's Watch The New Thor Trailer."

ALSO: Since the cat is now out the bag, yes - I'll be doing an appearance to sell and sign copies of "Brick By Brick"  at the American Classic Arcade Museum at Funspot in Weirs Beach, New Hampshire on Saturday, Sept 14 from noon to 3pm. ACAM is located on the third floor of Funspot, 579 Endicott St North (Rt 3) in Laconia, NH 03246. Hope to see some of you there.

ELYSIUM

THE PLOT

“In a future in which the privileged reside on an Earth-orbiting space station named Elysium and the less fortunate live on the surface of the blighted, overpopulated planet below, one man dares to defy the strict anti-immigration laws that separate the two disparate worlds in order to save all of mankind in this visceral sci-fi action thriller from District 9 director Neill Blomkamp. The year is 2154, and the division between social classes has grown wider than ever before. As the rich enjoy a life of luxury and access to cutting-edge medical technology on Elysium, the rest of the human race contend with poverty, crime, and disease on the surface of planet Earth. Meanwhile, hard-line immigration laws ensure that only those who have been explicitly approved will ever set foot on the elusive paradise in the stars. 36-year-old Max (Matt Damon) lives in an L.A. shantytown and earns his living by working on an Armadyne assembly line. He's had a rough past, but he's struggling to stay on the right side of the law when he realizes that his only hope for survival after being exposed to deadly radiation is to reach Elysium. Should Max succeed, he will strike a major blow for equality in the eyes of his fellow surface dwellers; should he fail, it will mean certain death. In his quest to become the hero who can restore the balance between the rich and the poor, however, Max must first do battle with Elysium's hawkish Secretary of Defense Delacourt (Jodie Foster), who has devoted her entire career to maintaining that division, and whose key enforcer Kruger (Sharlto Copley) is notorious for his brutal tactics in driving out illegals. With the fates of millions hanging in the balance, Max sets his sights on Elysium and never looks back. Alice Braga, Diego Luna, William Fichtner, and Faran Tahir co-star.” ~ Rovi’s AllMovie Guide

THE POINT

Back in April of 1927, the New York Times published a review of Fritz Lang’s newly released film Metropolis written by none other than famed science fiction author H. G. Wells himself. To say that “The Man Who Invented Tomorrow” was no fan of Lang’s own unique take on the future of humanity would be the epitome of understatement. Wells despised the film. Now sitting here 86 years after the fact, that may strike some people as a bit odd. After all, while no movie ever receives universal acclaim, Lang’s Metropolis is one of those that comes pretty darn close (a 99% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is about as near to a perfect score as a film can hope for). Many adore it and rank it among cinema’s finest achievements, while most of those who don’t still admit to the film’s artistry and recognize Metropolis’ influence on every movie that followed. But not Wells, he hated it with a passion.

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Why? Well, in his article, Mr. Wells wrote that Metropolis, “gives in one eddying concentration almost every possible foolishness, cliché, platitude, and muddlement about mechanical progress and progress in general served up with a sauce of sentimentality that is all its own… The 'sons of the rich' are seen disporting themselves, with underclad ladies in a sort of joy conservatory, rather like the 'winter garden' of an enterprising 1890 hotel during an orgy. The rest of the population is in a state of abject slavery, working in 'shifts' of ten hours in some mysteriously divided twenty-four hours, and with no money to spend or property or freedom. The machines make wealth. How, is not stated… There is some rather good swishing about in water, after the best film traditions, some violent and unconvincing machine-breaking and rioting and wreckage, and then, rather confusedly, one gathers that Masterman has learnt a lesson, and that workers and employers are now to be reconciled by 'Love… Now far away in the dear old 1897 it may have been excusable to symbolize social relations in this way, but that was thirty years ago, and a lot of thinking and some experience intervene.”

So, yeah, Wells didn’t have many nice things to say about Metropolis. Apparently the movie so offended his political and scientific worldview that Wells could hardly tolerate its existence. But was the movie really at fault, or was it Wells himself who was the problem? As G. K. Chesterton once wrote of his friend (and frequent debate opponent), one of H. G. Wells’ shortcomings was his seeming inability to free himself from “the narrower scientific outlook to see that there are some things which actually ought not to be scientific. He is still slightly affected with the great scientific fallacy; I mean the habit of beginning not with the human soul, which is the first thing a man learns about, but with some such thing as protoplasm, which is about the last.” In short, having rejected religion and philosophy, Wells tended to filter everything through science and politics. And the reason that was a problem in this instance is because Metropolis doesn’t really operate on those levels. With its heavily stylized expressionistic art design, its almost fairytale like setting, and its characters who function more as metaphors than they do as real people, Metropolis is all about philosophy, not day to day politics. The ultimate solution to the dystopia presented in Metropolis is not to change laws, but to change people’s hearts. That being the case, it’s no wonder Wells’ predilections towards scientism kept him from finding anything worthwhile in the film.

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But why, you’re probably asking by now, am I bothering to bring all this stuff up about H. G. Wells and Metropolis when I’m supposed to be reviewing Elysium? Well, given the reasons Wells stated for despising the earlier film, it would be interesting to see how he would have responded to this latest one, because despite the fact that the setup is the same (the rich party above while the poor toil below), Elysium is no Metropolis. Now that’s not because the film is poorly made, it’s quite the opposite in fact. With Elysium, director Neill Blomkamp proves that his previous effort, the critically acclaimed District 9, was no fluke. It’s nowhere near as stylized as Metropolis, of course, but Elysium still looks great, from the titular orbiting paradise to the perfectly realized wasteland of future Los Angeles. I don’t know how much time Blomkamp has actually spent walking around the ghettos of his home country of South Africa, but man, nobody films realistic looking blight as well as he does. And as for how he handles all of the sci-fi stuff (space ships, armored suits, exoskeletons, healing machines even more magical than a vial of Khan’s blood), I would have to imagine that after viewing Elysium, gamers around the world will be wailing and gnashing their teeth that Blomkamp gave up on his plans to make that Halo movie.

On top of that, the movie is well acted… for the most part. Make all the Matt Damon/Team America jokes you want to (please do, cause that still cracks me up), but when the man is on, he’s really on. And Damon’s pretty good here as Max, a basically selfish ex-con forced by circumstances into being a reluctant savior to the oppressed masses. Also on hand is Sharlto Copley, Blomkamp’s leading man from District 9, whose bizarre bounty hunter Kruger pretty much steals every scene he’s in. And it’s always nice to have William Fichtner show up to play an utter creep (hey, everybody’s good at something, right). Surprisingly, the only actor off their game a bit is the usually reliable Jodie Foster who doesn’t quite manage to pull off whatever accent it is she’s trying to use. You would have thought that after Nell she would have learned her lesson about trying to talk funny, but alas, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Still, overall, the acting is fine.

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So it’s not really an issue of quality that separates Elysium from Metropolis. Rather, it’s a matter of vision. You see, as it turns out, Elysium does exactly what Wells claimed he wanted from Lang’s film. That is, right from the start, Elysium abandons philosophy in favor of straight ahead politics. It begins with onscreen captions explaining how after the Earth became over-polluted and overpopulated, all of the wealthy folks took their toys and left for Elysium. Now the environmental angle is a common staple in sci-fi, one we’ve already seen pop up a couple of times this year in movies like After Earth and Oblivion, so it’s no big deal. After all, nobody wants a dirty Earth. But the choice to include overpopulation as a cause for the planet turning into a hell-hole is an overtly political decision on the part of the screenwriters, one that sets the tone for the rest of the movie which follows. I don’t want to get into the whole overpopulation debate here (though I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least mention that those with teaching authority in the Church believe the whole theory to be junk science at best and unmitigated evil at worst.), I’m just pointing out that Elysium sets up Earth’s problems as primarily political ones, with the film going out of its way to take a number of thinly-veiled potshots at one particular political party’s current stands on welfare, immigration, and healthcare.

Now let’s be clear, as a Catholic, I‘ve got axes to grind with both major parties mucking things up in my country, so I could care less that the movie picks a side in a political debate. Heck, movies like They Live wouldn’t be half as much fun without all the political subtext. The problem is that Elysium seems to think politics is the ultimate solution to everything that ails the planet, including poverty. This flies in the face of the Catechism which tells us that “in its various forms - material deprivation, unjust oppression, physical and psychological illness and death - human misery is the obvious sign of the inherited condition of frailty and need for salvation in which man finds himself as a consequence of original sin. This misery elicited the compassion of Christ the Savior, who willingly took it upon himself and identified himself with the least of his brethren. Hence, those who are oppressed by poverty are the object of a preferential love on the part of the Church which, since her origin and in spite of the failings of many of her members, has not ceased to work for their relief, defense, and liberation through numerous works of charity which remain indispensable always and everywhere.” In short, the drive to aid the impoverished must start in the hearts of individuals and their willingness to see the face of Jesus in the poor. Free their hearts, and their wallets will follow.

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That’s not what happens in this movie. At the film’s conclusion (which I’m not going to spoil in depth, don’t worry) not one single person who lives in Elysium has had a change of heart towards the poor on Earth, they simply have to go along with the outcome because it’s been forced on them by the political coup carried out by Max and his pals. So even if the film’s denouement made economic sense (and once you see it, you’ll probably have serious doubts about that), it’s hard to believe charity by coercion would really be a long term sustainable solution. As much as it might disgust H. G. Wells, what Lang’s film “served up with a sauce of sentimentality” was fundamentally correct, “The mediator between head and hands must be the heart!”, not the ballot box. And that simple truth is why Elysium, as well made and enjoyable as it is, will never find itself sitting atop the lists of classics next to Metropolis.

THE STINGER

To be fair to Elysium, this year’s Man of Steel also used overpopulation as one of the reasons the planet Krypton was in trouble. But that was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of thing, not as integral to the plot as it is in Blomkamp’s film. In fact, given Clark and Lois’ liplock in what was left of downtown Metropolis (DC’s version, not Lang’s) at the end of Man of Steel, I would imagine adding to the world’s population was very much on Kal-El’s mind.

66th Locarno Film Festival Lineup and Award Winners

Festival will run from August 7 to 17. There are some interesting movies that you can check info below.



Here are all the Award Winners


WRITTEN REVIEW: Nightmares in Red, White & Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film

By FOREST TAYLOR
I've always been intrigued by the subtext of horror films. It seems that horror movies are more able to address some of the fears and anxieties of the world than other genres of film. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to watch the documentary Nightmares in Red, White
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Thursday 8 August 2013

"They're not here to fish."

I run hot or cold on Paul Greengrass, particularly when he's in psuedo-blockbuster mode, but I'm really glad he's the guy who wound up making "Captain Phillips." True story or not, the setup of America's Most Beloved Human Tom Hanks at the mercy of ruthless Somali pirates could've made for some profoundly uncomfortable (in a bad way) "optics" in the hands of a more sensationally-inclined filmmaker; but Greengrass' judgement-free, fly-on-the-wall psuedo-verite style makes that pretty unlikely. Either way, the film's new domestic trailer looks intense.

Inglorious ArtNurds

Been waiting on "Monuments Men" for awhile, and it looks good. George Clooney directs and stars alongside Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Cate Blanchett and Bob Balaban in the true story of a U.S. special division that enlisted architects, professors and art-history experts for the purpose of minimizing damage to Europe's artistic and cultural treasures from the fighting and, eventually, tracking and reclaiming priceless art stolen by the Nazis themselves.



This looks really, really good. I'd been a little worried that they were going to impose some kind of unnecessarily more "humanistic" story-arc on this, i.e. the unit rolls up on some blighted village that gets all sad when they find out the soldiers are to save "some paintings" instead of the people and a choice has to be made and everyone learns about what really matters and blah blah blah.

But that doesn't seem to be the case - this trailer, at least, is selling a straightforward guys-on-a-mission movie where the "gimmick" is that much of the unit is comprised of decidedly un-soldier-like academics who have to learn the ropes on the fly to go do their job. To me, that's a compelling enough story on it's own - plus, I like the idea of an A-list, big-star "prestige picture" being built around the message that art, culture and knowledge are worth fighting for.

Wednesday 7 August 2013

Punkining

Let's get this out of the way: The trailer for "CBGB" - about NYC's legendary punk rock club - looks like just about the "least punk" thing you can picture, even moreso than the decidedly un-punk initial notion of doing a glossy Hollywood "triumph over adversity" version of this particular story. But it doesn't look precisely "bad." The downside of the punk movement's own gleeful embrace of mainstream music journalism's refusal to pay it's artists any mind was that the era didn't really get the shot to inject it's own mythology into the popular culture the way 60s rockers, disco composers or even the 80s metal scene guys have; so maybe stuff like this is at least something.


"THOR: THE DARK WORLD" Full Trailer

We're probably heading into a looooooong stretch of every other fantasy movie trying to look as much like "Game of Thrones" as possible. "THOR: THE DARK WORLD," at least, has the excuse of being directed by actual GoT-veteran Alan Taylor.

Either way; DAMN, but this looks good. I still enjoyed Kenneth Brannagh's cheeky "Golan-Globus with money" take in the first one, but this one looks appropriately bigger and grander as befits the first Marvel movie that's really going to feel constant pressure to "live-up" to "The Avengers" thanks to it featuring the return of Loki.



The God of Mischief is, of course, all over the new trailer - dig that moment with him and Jane Foster. I like that we're still running firmly on comics-logic, wherein a villain can nearly destroy an entire city, likely killing thousands, and because it's good-guy/bad-guy team-up time the "blowback" can be limited to dirty looks and maybe a slap from the supporting cast. Yeah, sure, this guy is technically the greatest force of evil in this history of this universe's Earth... but we'll deal with that later - there's a quest to be had! Still preferable to not acknowledging it at all, though...

Pre-release has been marred by talk of an intensely troubled production; reports of Natalie Portman being furious at her preferred director being removed from the film (I will be very surprised if Jane Foster is alive at the end of this) and rumors of Taylor clashing with the producers to the extent that large portions of the film have actually been (discreetly) handled by other directors. All that could be true, apart from Whedon's relative free-reign on "Avengers" the Marvel movies are the most openly and overwhelmingly producer-driven blockbusters in awhile, but the if the movie turns out good that's really beside the point.

UPDATE: 2:20. That's a KRONAN. Awesome.

7 Year Old "Robot Chicken" Sketch Becomes Feature-Length Romantic Drama

Oh c'mon, you didn't forget  Lisa, did you?

Remember all those jokes about guys getting "crushes" on technology from the seemingly-distant past when vocal-interfaces having gentle, nonthreatening, compliant female-sounding voices was a brand new thing? A chuckle-worthy gag so immediately dated that it got a showing in the "Sex & The City" movie? (Hell, remember THAT being a thing?)

Well, now it's the premise of "HER;" a movie which stars Joaquin Phoenix as, essentially, a lonely guy who wants to fuck Siri. BUT! It's a Spike Jonze movie, with Scarlett Johansson as the voice of Babe In The Machine, so it's probably going to be good and definitely going to be worth seeing.




PULP CATHOLICISM #028

Pulp Catholicism 028

PODCAST 59: Jaws 2 & Sharknado [Shark Attack Edition]

This week Forest continues his four part Jaws-a-thon with Jaws 2 and Cory aids in the shark attack madness with the widely popular, though we're not quite sure why, Sharknado.
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