Yet More "Avengers" Promo Art

Via THR

The 2012 Blockbuster Season is basically shaping up to be DC Versus Marvel Goes To The Movies, what with "The Avengers" and "Dark Knight Rises" both hitting. That's especially fun when you realize that the two "competing" films aren't just split on the usual DC/Marvel lines, but also as representatives of two diametrically-opposed approaches to the art of comic-book adaptation - Christopher Nolan's stripped-down, self-contained, super-serious, gritty and 'realistic' Batman versus Joss Whedon's balls-out genre-mashup, drenched in the nerd-ephemera of shared-universe continuity and source-faithful literalism.

Who can say which one is adjudged the superior when they hit screens next summer, but right now you've gotta feel bad for Warner Bros... "Dark Knight Rises," in the realm of production-hype, is kinda-sorta looking like a plate of boiled asparagus next to "Avengers" big-ass bowl of Halloween candy. Case in point, right now TDKR's "buzz" is mostly occupied with fans DESPERATELY hoping that certain angles or arrangements of goggles will make Catwoman look kinda-sorta-maybe like Catwoman; while "Avengers" keeps popping out stuff like THIS...

Preeeeetttttyyyyyy...

Incidentally, you can tell this is "legit," (as opposed to a high-grade fan-mashup) because Iron Man is wearing his "Avengers Costume" - Note the silver elements included with the red and gold, and the Mark-I style circular chest-light. The triangle one was housing the "new element" we learn Howard Stark was "hiding" in that map in Part 2. Are we going to find out WHO he was hiding it from in "Avengers?" According to "Captain America," Stark had the Cosmic Cube before S.H.I.E.L.D. did, and according to "Thor" Loki knows what it is... was the "new element" something he was hiding from Loki or some other figure connected to The Cube? More importantly... how cool is it that these are legitimate, logical questions to be asked about an actual upcoming movie??

Best Look Yet At The New "Superman"

"The Man of Steel" is shooting in Plainsville, Illinois in full view of passers-by and their cameraphones, so by now everyone has seen every inch of the (practical, un-color-corrected, un-camera-filtered) new Superman outfit. The shot at the right was tweeted minutes ago by, of all people, MST3K/RiffTrax's Michael J. Nelson; and is the best look yet I've seen at what the whole thing basically looks like - as lots of the "action" shots are being done without the cape (presumably to be CGI'd in later.) The only thing you can't see is the "boots" (which are red and go all the way up to just below the knees) and that the flexi-armor plating on the sides of his torso go all the way around and up the back (I'm not sure how much we're supposed to see of them, as they're covered by the cape.)

I'm on record as being a fan of losing the red trunks, but I don't know that I love the weirdo "suggested belt" thingee (the two wrapparound lines "pointing at" but not attached-to the "buckle" are red.) I do like how not-armored the majority of it looks, and the various spy pix and videos show that he actually has a full range of normal movement. I'd like to see this sort of "template" applied to Batman at some point.


I really am getting the feeling that this is actually going to work. If so, which gods do I need to offer sacrifice to to get Snyder attached to "Wonder Woman?" Preferably without the Nolan Brothers, mostly because I don't need an entire movie about how hard it is for Steve Trevor to get his work done with all these crazy mischief-making girls running around.

Primo Giorno - 68th Venice International Film Festival

With a forgettable not entertaining and truly protocol opening ceremony La Mostra 2011 opened with too much Clooney for my taste and not even a single movie clip from any of the movies in or out of competition. But have to admit that enjoyed the first part of Vittoria Puccini speech and nothing else in particular.

Anyway today was the premiere of George Clooney’s The Ides of March so there was a press conference, a photo call and a red carpet walk with him dominating and stealing the limelight for the day. Nevertheless was able to watch on TV and photos from Evan Rachel Wood, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti and Marisa Tomei who star in Clooney’s film.

Before the screening of the Festival and Competition opening film there was a four minute short film called Lido ’28 by Anonymous produced in 1928 that was able to watch as they showed it as part of the opening ceremony on TV. Short made me recall Visconti’s Morte a Venezia (Deatch in Venice) but short shows the real beach and 20’s beauties doing all sort of odd things, including riding horses in the sea.

After the Competition opening film, the Out of Competition opening film follows: ¡VIVAN LAS ANTIPODAS! by Victor Kossakovsky, a documentary that is in Spanish, Russian, Setswana, and English; is a Germany, Argentina, Netherlands, and Chile production plus tells about the few land-to-land antipodal places in mother Earth… which makes doc very interesting for me.

Early this afternoon the Giornate degli Autori opened with a special event: the screening of Crazy Horse by Frederick Wiseman an absolute Must-Be-Seen for me since I learned about it a few months back; followed by Di La Dal Vetro (Beyond the Glass) a short by Andrea Di Bari plus Love and Bruises by Lou Ye a French production staring a mesmerizing actor Tahar Rahim (remember A Prophet?) with an interesting story that will made me watch it.

Later in the afternoon the Retrospective section opened with three 1967 Italian medium-length films Hemitage by Carmelo Bene, Il Canto d’Amore di Alfred Prufrock by Nico D’Alessandria, and Bis by Paolo Brunatto; last a longer film with 55 minutes from 1967-68 by Paolo Brunatto Vieni Dolce Morte (Dell ‘Ego) that is a silent film.

As the first day fades away I hope to see tomorrow a lot less of Clooney and a lot more of the Jury President Darren Aronofsky, in the meantime here are some photos from today’s events.

Ci vediamo a Domani!!

The Main Competition Jury

The Ides of March cast and crew

Nice Rachel and George photo.

Watch Biennale 2011 trailers @MOC


Highlights from the First Day

Big Picture: "In Defense of Nostalgia"

Extremely happy with this particular episode.

ALSO: I'm back on "Extra Consideration" this week (and presumably next) with Yahtzee and Jim Sterling, good guys both.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : In Defense of Nostalgia

Wizards Duel

If you aren't following the hysterical YouTube series "Epic Rap Battles of History" - wherein celebrities/historical-figures/fictional-characters hap comedy rap battles - you ought to be. The most-recent installment, seen below, was Gandalf vs. Dumbledore...



I was also partial to "Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking."

Parody

Do people remember "Wholly Moses?" Dudley Moore vehicle from the early-80s? It's not wonderful - fairly transparent attempt to do a "Life of Brian" for the Old Testament...


The premise is that Moore is a random Exodus-era shepherd who happens to be around the corner from where Moses is recieving instruction from the Burning Bush and goes off on an adventure assuming that the voice of God was talking to HIM. It's part of the weird subgenre of mildly-amusing "Bible Spoofs" that seem aimed at Sunday School kids just coming into their own irreverence (see also: "Year One.")

I was just thinking today that I'd love to see a variation on the "unimportant minor character who mistakes himself for the hero" gag applied to a spoof of movies like "The Help" - which has officially become a "sleeper hit" and thus an almost-certain Oscar/Globes/etc contender, whoopee - about a clueless white character who happens to be randomly around during certain key points of the early Civil Rights movement and assumes himself/herself (probably herself, given the subject under-scrutiny) to be some kind of "Hero of The Cause." To my mind, this sounds like a great vehicle for someone like Anna Faris in the lead - backed-up, of course, by a slew of black comics doing cameo character-riffs on famous figures (MLK, Malcom, Rosa Parks, etc.) Maybe get Morgan Freeman in to do a takeoff on "Miss Daisy." In the right hands, that could be hysterical.

What would it be called, though? "I'm Helping!" or "The Blonde Side" is all I can come up with off the top of my head.

BY NOT-SO-POPULAR DEMAND…

Religion can be weird sometimes

The attendant image was found, multiple times, in a standard Google Image Search for "Beast of Revelation." For those not "up" on their Escatology, "The Beast" is supposed to team-up with "The Dragon" and "The False Prophet" and lead the bad guys during The End Times. It's typically described as a lion/bear/leopard hybrid (i.e. all local predators that would be common to folks in the time/place Revelations is supposed to have been written) with seven heads and ten horns; and is typically depicted in the manner of a plus-sized Chimera.

I'm not going to call myself a Biblical scholar, but I'm reasonably certain that "Ginormous Triceratops Face" is conceptual-license on the part of the artist. I find it fascinating.

I can't find exactly where this came from, or if it was intended as "serious" Christian art or if someone is doing a parody of the genre, but this specific image (and imitations of it) are ALL OVER "End Times" websites; so whether it was meant seriously or not it's certainly being taken seriously by the audience for such things.

What intrigues me so much about stuff like this is, assuming for a moment that this was painted by a true-believer... whoever he/she is is not only fairly talented, but has also clearly seen and been influenced-by a pretty good deal of fantasy/monster art AND has enough real creative energy happening to conjure up "ten horns and crowns" = "what if one head is a Triceratops with a crown on the horns" out of thin air. This is probably more my own prejudices, such as they are, speaking; but to me the concept of someone whose mind is "assembled" in such a way being "on board" with the Left Behind set is kind of baffling yet fascinating.

I'm given to imagine the unknown-to-me painter as a profoundly conflicted being: a psyche torn between an obvious creative/imaginative instinct and sincere adherence to repressive-by-nature fundamentalism, with rendering Biblical demons being the only form of self-expression that can be unleashed without allowing one to negate the other - in much the same way that medieval and renaissance artists REALLY "cut loose" when depicting demonic figures or visions of Hell. That, or it's something a committed Metalhead/D&D fan trapped in Sunday School did to stay sharp until he/she could turn 18 and earn a living painting stuff like this on people's vans. Either way works.

FUN FACT: In the late-1970s, Toho actually proposed making a "Godzilla vs. Satan" movie - with Godzilla fighting the Biblical monsters of Water, Air and Earth (Leviathan, Ziz and Behemoth in the actual scriptures) followed by The Devil himself - hoping to cash-in on the success of "The Exorcist." I would absolutely watch a "Christian Kaiju" movie if that sucker up above was in it.

Dawkins on Perry

I'm not particularly enamored of Richard Dawkins, for the most part. I admire the efforts of damn near anyone whose goal is to make science and reason - as opposed to faith and "morality" - the cornerstones of modern society; but his zealotry on behalf his own atheism is often a bit too close to what it aims to oppose. However, when he's right... he's right.

Writing for the Washington Post, Dawkins takes current GOP frontrunner Rick Perry to task for his evolution-denialism; but in the big-picture he's really calling out the strain of anti-intellectualism (masquerading as "anti-elitism") that has infected the modern "conservative" movement in American politics. I find this passage particularly inspiring:

"What is unusual about today’s Republican party (I disavow the ridiculous ‘GOP’ nickname, because the party of Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt has lately forfeited all claim to be considered ‘grand’) is this: In any other party and in any other country, an individual may occasionally rise to the top in spite of being an uneducated ignoramus. In today’s Republican Party ‘in spite of’ is not the phrase we need. Ignorance and lack of education are positive qualifications, bordering on obligatory. Intellect, knowledge and linguistic mastery are mistrusted by Republican voters, who, when choosing a president, would apparently prefer someone like themselves over someone actually qualified for the job."

To me, regardless of whose saying it, that sums up damn near everything wrong with not only Republican politics but American society in general - we've allowed "normal," "average" and "common" to be seen as not just benign traits but POSITIVE ones. A society that equates someone who attains greatness - particularly intellectual greatness - as somehow being LESS qualified than a "normal" person or a "common-sense" approach is a society that is doomed.

Are we to be a people of Knowledge, and continue forward into the future? Or will we be a people of Belief, consigned to the ashbin of history alongside whatever arcane superstition we refuse to relinquish?

Probably Not News: Will The Dark Knight Rise in "No Man's Land?"

I'll be damned if I'm the only internet movie-guy NOT getting a traffic boost for reporting non-news about TDKR. Everything after this jump almost-definitely ISN'T a "spoiler," but proceed with whatever caution you like anyway.

SuperHeroHype has some paperwork suggesting that there will be a big on-location action shoot for the film in Los Angeles that will include "simulated flood sequences" among other mass-destruction, suggesting that the poster/teaser motif of a destroyed city is meant to be taken literally.

To the degree that anything in a Christopher Nolan Batman movie can be said to suggest anything familiar to comic fans, this will certainly remind some people of "No Man's Land" - an in-continuity miniseries in which an earthquake cut Gotham City off from the mainland U.S. Such a sequence on film would definitely require flooding FX to show how the ocean fills-in the space between the land-masses, so... is this something?

Escape to the Movies: "A Look Ahead"

Yes, a fall/winter preview show. They didn't screen "Colombiana," okay?
Intermission: "Bombs Away!"

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : A Look Ahead

"Rum Diary" trailer

Remember when the phrase "new Johnny Depp movie" made you anticipate something original, entertaining and almost-certainly worth watching instead of the exact opposite of those things? Well, this long-delayed psuedo-sequel to "Fear & Loathing" sure as hell hopes so...

WRITTEN REVIEW: George Romero's Bruiser

By CORY CARR

In 2000, revered film maker George Romero both wrote and directed the film Bruiser. A film that I had absolutely NO idea existed until a decade later. A film that asks the hard hitting question, “Are you fuckin’ with me!?”. No seriously, that question was asked like, fourteen

CONTINUE READING

WRITTEN REVIEW: It is Fine! Everything is Fine

By FOREST TAYLOR

Most people remember Crispin Glover merely as George McFly. Some slasher movie fans might remember him as the nerd who did the goofy dance in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. I think when all is said and done, I’ll remember Crispin Hellion Glover as the

CONTINUE READING

Warner Bros. wants Affleck for "FPS: THE MOVIE"

THR reports that Warner Bros. and Joel Silver are courting Ben "Comeback Kid" Affleck to direct and star in the high-concept action feature "Line of Sight." The screenplay is a commandos-transporting-cargo-through-enemy-territory deal, but here's the gimmick: They want to do the whole thing in POV, "akin to a first-person shooter game." Gaming-industry vet F. Scott Frazier wrote the original script, but it's now being 'polished' by "Halo: Reach" writer Peter O'Brien.

This was probably innevitable, what with the penetration Call of Duty etc. have had in the media, but it doesn't stop it from being a not great idea. The "FPS sequence" in the "Doom" movie was a cute moment, but the equivalent of watching someone play CoD for 90 minutes on a big screen? No thanks.

"First person" filmmaking has been tried before, most notably for "Lady in The Lake" in 1947, but it's never really caught on as anything but a stylistic gimmick that tends to get a little old. Watching an entire movie over the barrel of Ben Affleck's rifle-barrel sounds like unmitigated torture... though not QUITE as torturous as the innevitable studio spin about how this perspective "brings action filmmaking up to date with the vibe of a New Generation." Blegh.

First Look At "The Man Of Steel's" Enemies!

hat-tip to Devin and to ComingSoon

Pix snapped by fans on the "Smallville" location-shoot of "The Man of Steel" offer a first look at Superman's full costume in broad daylight, the reveal of villainess Faora, and an another actor whose attire - or lack thereof - is setting off a ton of fan speculation.

What's after the jump COULD concievably constitute spoilers, but I doubt it...

Okay, so this first one is your first look at Faora, who I think most people have assumed was going to be a secondary villain because "everybody knows" she was the basis for General Zod's ladyfriend Ursa in "Superman II." In the comics, Faora is generally the boss and Zod etc take orders from her... otherwise, same basic character: Evil woman with the strength of Superman who homicidally-hates all men (if that characterization makes it into the movie, it won't help the common critique of both Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan as latent mysogynists.)

I like the "Rarrr! I'm a Bad Guy!!" spiky black space-armor - very "comic-booky," exactly the sort of thing I want to see in a Superman movie at this point. Also like that she has a cape - it'd be awesome if the idea is that capes are just "what people wear on Krypton." I'm feeling like this outfit, plus Superman's big billowy red cape and straight-off-the-page physique seen below, could end up being Exhibits A and B in the "Bob Was Right About Zack Snyder Being Right For This Project" case. But it's the OTHER "costume" people are more curious about...

The guy in the motion-capture suit has been snapped in other images already. People have been assuming that it's actor Michael Shannon, who's (supposedly) playing Zod, but I'm not so sure. Whoever it is, it seems to confirm that there's a major character in this whose being realized through motion-capture animation... so who (or what) is it? Is Zod some kind of creature? Does his power manifest in some body-altering way (Super-Saiyan Zod?) Or... is this some OTHER enemy that wasn't confirmed yet - Brainiac? Parasite? The Kryptonite Man?

It's worth pointing out, I think, that waaaaay back in April a largely nonspecific synopsis of the movie's basic story got posted on a non-news site and everyone brushed it off as a fake... only to have the REAL synopsis released last week match it perfectly. Why is that significant? Because that "fake" synopsis named a different villain than Zod or Faora: METALLO. Granted, I don't think any of those is terribly likely, but now that these pix are out there Warner Bros. will probably have to say who/what it is sooner than later.

FWIW, supposedly the big "new" angle on this version of the character is that Superman is not as overwhelmingly trusted/embraced by the public and the world's militaries as in the past - some have suggested that this is partially due to the "evil" Kryptonians having shown up to start trouble BEFORE Clark Kent has decided to adopt a costumed identity and use his powers in public. The "fake-sounding" site had suggested that Metallo (a Kryptonite-powered robot) starts out as a man-made anti-Kryptonian weapon.

Big Picture: "Smarter Than The Average Bear"

More Yogi on The Escapist.

And hey, did you watch the NEW "Game OverThinker" yet?

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Smarter Than the Average Bear

Six More Opinions, Likely To Be Unpopular

Bitterness and politics after the jump. You have been warned.



It is now the 21st Century. People living in the developed world in this day and age who sincerely believe in Creationism and/or "Intelligent Design" (aka CREATIONISM) are not quaint, cute, old-fashioned, etc - they are mentally-unwell and/or mentally-deficient, and should be classified and regarded as such.

Politicians who pander to the type of people described above are contributing to the degradation of their nation's intelligence. I don't know that that's a crime, but it ought to be.

Persons and/or groups who spread provable untruths about abortion causing cancer, certain forms of birth control being dangerous, etc, should be ROTTING in jail for reckless endangerment. So should Jenny McCarthy and every other committed zealot of the vaccines-cause-autism insanity.

Serious question: Let's just pretend for a minute that ALL of the reputable science is wrong and Climate Change is simply a natural-cycle that man plays no part in. If we proceeded to implement ALL of the carbon-curbing, pollution-reducing regulations intended to put a dent in it ANYWAY... what of genuine long-term value would we LOSE? As in, even if completely overhauling the energy industry, cleaning up the air, reducing emissions, fast-tracking solar, wind, whatever power etc does NOTHING to impact Climate Change, wouldn't it still have been worth-doing?

If it came out tomorrow that Barack Obama (or ANY non-GOP president) was guilty of Nixon/Watergate-level shady dealings, I would STILL rather keep him where he is than elect a Republican; and I would make that decision EXCLUSIVELY in the interest of making sure that only pro-choice judges are nominated for the Supreme Court and federal judgships.

I do not consider it a problem that a small percentage - usually less than half - of Americans tend to vote in a given national election. I consider it a problem that too much of said small-percentage is made up of nincompoops with no business making decisions that will effect the course of a country. If I had the power I'd arrange it so that a major NASCAR event, a UFC title-bout, the opening of the next Michael Bay movie and the finale of "American Idol" ALL took place on the same day as the next presidential election. Let's give "Government By Consent Of The Not-Easily-Distracted" a try for a change.

New TGO is live!

Episode 56 of The Game OverThinker - "Setting Sun" - is now up on the other blog. The Japanese gaming industry is on the wane, but Western fans are paying the price. Check it out!

Peter Jackson EVISCERATES Corrupt Arkansas Justice System

Yesterday, the state of Arkansas accepted an "Alford Plea" and freed the West Memphis Three after 18 years of what is widely held to be false imprisonment. And while it's great news for the three men - one of whom was facing death row and in frail health - it's most-definitely NOT any kind of justice. The conditions of the plea shield the state from being held to account for their grotesque handling tof the ordeal, allowing the prosecution to escape reprecussions for one of the most public acts of legal malfeasance in modern American history.


Director/producer Peter Jackson, who was revealed yesterday to be a big wheel in the money/coordination efforts to get the case re-examined, has posted a detailed summation of his thoughts on the affair, which amount to a BRUTAL yet wholly-appropriate dressing-down of the entire Arkansas legal system. You should read the whole thing, it's DAMN good stuff, but here's my favorite passage:

"It goes on and on ... any serious detailed look into the facts and science of this case quickly reveals what an appalling miscarriage of justice it is. Any vaguely intelligent person would come to the same conclusion, if they take the time - except for Mr Ellington and his justice league. But then, to be fair, Mr Ellington has a job to do, and a good reason to protect his State from admitting any fault. 42 million good reasons in fact. The most telling thing Mr Arkansas Justice Mouth-piece said this morning was that a guy who proved he was wrongfully convicted in another State, was awarded compensation of $14 million.

Follow the money."

Folks, when people say that "liberal Hollywood" and "Middle America" are "at war"... HELL YES they are, and THIS kind of shit is both the WHY and the HOW - as in HOW you know who the good guys tend to be. These three innocent men rotted in jail unjustly for almost two decades almost-entirely due to their being "different" in a conservative, religious, rural community. They are free today because filmmakers, documentarians, musicians and other assorted activists both well-known and unknown saw a wrong - and, in many cases, felt kinship with the put-upon "different" in our society - and shoved the case into the spotlight until this small sliver of right was done.

From here on out, any putrid pundit who starts blowing his/her trumpet about how wrong it is for "Hollywood" to be trying to change values and influence people in "REAL America" deserves to have this case shoved right back in their faces. Hard.

Ghost Rider Returns

I actually LIKED the original "Ghost Rider." Yes, Cage was too old to play the part as it was written (it looks like they're playing him "same age" this time) and it was silly as hell, but it had kind of a retro-schlock vibe in it's best moments that I wished permeated the whole piece; and it MUST be said: The "on fire" form of Ghost Rider himself is one of the best translations of a supernatural-superhero to live action ever.

NONE of that, however, is a reason to anticipate a sequel. No, the reason to anticipate a sequel is that "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" has been placed in the hands of filmmaking duo Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the insane geniuses behind "Crank."



Yes, I do believe he's supposed to be pissing flames in that last shot. Normally you'd have to assume it was anything BUT that, but consider who's directing...

"West Memphis Three" are FREE

After 18 years, three men from Arkansas convicted of murdering three young boys on what is widely regarded as flimsy-to-nonexistant evidence have been released from prison via a plea deal following new DNA evidence that found no trace of the accused at the crime scene. The actual deal is a legal manuever that allows the men to go free and mantain their innocence while conceding that the state did have enough evidence to convict them; which kind of sucks but at least must be preferable to Death Row.


The case had been the subject of two HBO documentaries called "Paradise Lost" that brought national attention, and especially galvanized fans and musicians of the metal genre into activism (the doc was the first time Metallica had allowed their songs to be used in any movie) via the implication that the state had targeted them based on their affinity for heavy-metal music and clothing (this was 1993, during one of the "metal is secretly satanic" panics.) A third installment of the series was planned to debut at Toronto this year, and presumably now needs a new ending.

While the case had long earned the attention of famous activists, it was learned today that a great deal of the money and coordination of efforts that led to the new evidence and the new case was quietly being set up and spearheaded by "Lord of The Rings" helmer Peter Jackson and his partner Fran Walsh.

Escape to the Movies: "Fright Night"

It's not bad!

"Intermission" covers "The Help."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Fright Night

Justice May Finally Be Coming For The West Memphis Three (UPDATED!)

UPDATE! This may be the first time I've ever posted a non-movie-geek story only to have it BECOME a movie-geek story afterwards: According to Deadline, two of the key players putting up the money for the new independent investigations that have helped dig up the new evidence and hearings that may free the West Memphis Three later today... Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, nicely answering any curiousities you may have had about whether or not they could get any more awesome.

ORIGINAL POST: Part of me doesn't even want to report on this, for fear of jinxing it, but if this pans out for the good it'll be a pretty damn big moment.

For those who haven't heard of this before (which is understandable, it's been almost two decades and the media never paid long-term attention) in 1993 three young men from West Memphis were convicted on what is widely regarded as flimsy evidence (and perception that the accused were "satanists" because of their fashion and music preferences) for the horrific murders of three children. The case recieved national attention thanks to a pair of HBO documentaries. In the 18 years since, despite recurring waves of international protest and activism, two of the accused are still serving life sentences and one is still sitting on death row - all three having continued to maintain their innocence.

Last month, a new DNA test using material from the actual crime scene was found not to match the defendants. Just this past evening (August 18th), it was revealed that a new hearing for all three defendants had been called - without much warning - for the following day (today.) There's been conflicting reports leaking all night as to exactly what is going down - are they being released, is there a plea deal, what will they plead to if so ("no contest" would seem kind of likely), is it all of them or just one or two, etc.

But it really does sound as though justice MIGHT finally win out for these guys, and if so that'll really be something to see.

"Machine Gun Preacher." No, really. That's what they called this.

Hello, friend.

Have you ever wondered "How could they make 'The Blind Side' even moreso the ultimate 'Red State' movie?" Did you ever arrive at the conclusion that the only way for that to happen would be to change the lead character from an upscale white woman who saves helpless black people through the power of Christian righteousness and her NRA card to a blue-collar white man who saves an entire nation of helpless black people through Christian righteousness... and a rocket-launcher?

Brother, have I got a movie for you...

FWIW, I feel genuinely envious of anyone whose soul is intact enough to look at that poster and not immediately assume that it's a parody of something. It's the kid that does it - I cannot look at this and not think "You have GOT to be kidding."




I'm sorry. I feel kinda bad about shitting on this because the real guy it's based on sounds like a "real deal" hero, and if there's ONE decent function of religion it's inspiring guys like this to do this sort of thing... but the poster? The trailer? Everything from the dramatic-rise-from-baptism shot to the title to the poster to the very presence of Gerard "We Couldn't Afford Jason Statham" Butler screams 'unintended parody' to me.

Another "Underworld?" Okay.

Below, the trailer for "Underworld: Awakening," aka "Underworld: Part 4," aka "Len Wiseman Presents: Yeah, I'm Hittin' That - Part 3." Basic premise this time around? It's "Futurama" (or "Idiocracy") but with Kate Beckinsale's leather-clad vampiress as the time-displaced hero.



I'm kind of embarassingly fond of the "Underworld" movies, which benefit from a pretty novel (and dense) approach to the vampire/werewolf mythology and are unique in that they do so without having been based on some previously-written material.

Apparently the vampires and lycans are on the same side now, fighting againt the human race that has previously been played as largely ignorant of the centuries-old monster-war going on in it's margins (hence the title.)Unfathomably gorgeous actress in a pleather-onesie doing a lucha-libre scissor-kick move on an 8-foot practical-effect werewolf? That'll work.

The Game (1997)

The Lincoln Lawyer

This is Your New(er) Captain America

Folks who saw "The Avengers" teaser after the credits of "Captain America" got a very, very brief glimpse at the upgraded-for-the-21st-Century uniform Cap will be wearing in the film. Now, courtesy a shit-ton of "independent press" (read: gawkers with camera-phones) at the on-location shoot of some big"Avengers" action scenes, we're getting a first clear look at the new oufit; which basically looks like a direct-lift from the comics as rendered in fabric-covered armor. I like how bold the color-palette is - there's really no way to make a live-action 'traditional' Captain America NOT look like the world's most patriotic Power Ranger, so you might as well embrace it.

Here, via JoBlo, is a clear snap that doesn't include any of other participants also seen taking part in the shoot whose presence seems to suggest the potential imminent reveal of some other big "Avengers" details. (I advise the spoiler-phobic to NOT go digging around for them just yet.)

I Call Dibs On "It's Got Great Buzz!" Jokes

I wonder how many people are aware that the word "Hysteria" originated as polite shorthand for "Women be crazy!!!" back in the day. About as many, I'd wager, as realize that in the not too distant past locker-room humor about the female orgasm being a myth was taken very seriously; leading to what we'd now call sexual-frustration being diagnosed as a kind of female-specific stress disorder requiring "medical massage" (read: handjobs) as treatment - which really took off once the process got "automated" (read: vibrators.)

In the upcoming film "Hysteria;" Hugh Dancy, Johnathan Price and Maggie Gyllenhaal give the history of that last part the gently-ribald British-comedy treatment.



True story: Back during one of my later DVD-retail jobs, I was privy to overhear a customer (male, late-teens) attempt to describe the movie "Kinsey" to his similarly-dispositioned companion. He explained that it was a film about "The dude who invented the blowjob."

More "Immortals" Teasing

People do NOT seem enthused about "Immortals;" which I get but am still slightly depressed by. The idea of Tarsem Singh's signature Fellini-in-an-opium-den style applied to what's being pitched as a mega-macho "300" riff equals must-see to me, whether it's a triumph or a disaster. At least it'll be memorable...

"Faces in The Crowd"

Hat-tip: io9

Wow, when was the last time someone put one of these things in theaters? The Law&Order/CSI/NCIS/CriminalMinds/etc TV world has pretty much gobbled up the entire "Here's an otherwise formula thriller built around this random obscure condition/persausion the writer just read about" genre of pitches, so it's kind of amazing to see Milla Jovovich - THE great B-movie starlet of our time - in "Faces in The Crowd;" as a woman whose stature as the only surviving witness able to identify a serial killer is imperiled by being struck with prosopagnosia or "face-blindness," meaning that her brain is incapable of recalling people by their faces.

Big Picture: "The Collar"

The Escapist : The Big Picture : The Collar

GOP Wants to Stop Movie About Killing Bin Laden. No, Not A Typo.

There is no feeling quite so warm to me as being proven correct about humanity, and the segment of humanity that occupies the political realm in particular. I understand that some view naked demonstrations of craven opportunism and bald-faced unironic sleaze with dismay, but for me they are cause for contentment - for they affirm that my instincts regarding a sizable majority of my loathsome species are still sharp and well-founded...

You may or may not be aware that Kathryn Bigelow is following up her Oscar-winning - though now essentially forgotten - "The Hurt Locker" (oh, now, be honest: for most people, reading that was the FIRST time you've thought about that movie in at least a year) with a feature based on the military operation dedicated the chasing down Osama Bin Laden. As you can imagine, the film now has a MUCH different ending than it would've when they started out.

You might imagine that American "conservative" lawmakers - whose relationship with the film industry for the last decade has been largely complaining that Hollywood wasn't delivering enough movies where Islamic Terrorists got blow'd up real good - would be psyched about this. I mean, set aside the whole "ALL Americans should be united on this" angle: 9/11 avenged by a gunshot wound to the face delivered by a Navy SEAL team on an "eff your borders, we want this bastard dead!" nighttime raid... you CANNOT get more bad-ass/macho right-wing "Amurrica Fuck Yeah!!!" than that. Right?

Well, not quite. See, the guy who happened to be President when we finally found Bin Laden - and thus got to be the President who gave the order - is a Democrat. And also a secretly-Muslim Kenyan Communist, apparently. And since a movie that, by it's very nature, will serve to remind people that Obama gave the order and thus MIGHT make people feel positively about him... IT MUST BE STOPPED! After all, if he IS re-elected, it's only a matter of time before whatever White Christian Babies haven't yet been ordered-aborted will be forcibly re-educated to believe in evolution during gay marriage ceremonies, and surely some other bad stuff, too.

And so, a Republican lawmaker has introduced a bill specifically designed to damage the film's production under the guise of "fiscal concerns." Essentially, it would bar the government from spending "taxpayer money" in the pursuit of sharing information between the Pentagon and the film's research/verification department - which would amount to asking Sony Pictures to reimburse the cost of all the copy-paper and bandwith used to answer Bigelow etc's "how did we do ______" questions.

But, really, it's ALL about making sure that a movie that MIGHT concievably lead someone to think a sliver of positive thought about Barack Obama. Honoring the service of SEAL Team 6? Immortalizing the end of an era in a proper narrative art form? Offering Americans still traumatized by 9/11 a small measure of catharsis? The GOP apparently does not consider those things to be nearly as important as making sure that Obama does not get a second term.

Folks... do you have any idea just HOW shameless and ethically-bankrupt ANY given action has to be for ME to be morally-affronted by it?

Kevin Smith Making Epic Two-Part Four-Hour Hockey Comedy, Will Subsequently Retire

Of all the 90s-indie-kids-made-good filmmakers, the one I'd NEVER have expected to flame-out in a spectacular, slow-motion, ego-drive career collapse would've been Kevin Smith. But it's been happening, and now it appears to be reaching a crescendo: Slashfilm reports that Smith's much-ballyhooed "final film" before self-imposed retirement from directing, a comedy/drama about a hockey player called "Hit Somebody," has a script so long that Smith can't (or won't) find a way to compress it into one movie... so instead he's making two.

For those who'd stopped caring enough to follow the production of Kevin Smith movies (so, pretty-much everyone I imagine) "Hit Somebody" is about a lovable-bruiser of a "goon" hockey player whose employed by his team (and celebrated by the crowds) for his ability to bust heads for the cause of protecting the star players who score the big goals... but he's actually a nice guy, and has always dreamed of scoring one big goal himself. In case you're wondering - no, Smith didn't swipe the screenplay for an unproduced Adam Sandler vehicle; this is actually an adaptation of a Warren Zevon song written by Mitch Albom. You cannot make this shit up.

The song starts out in the character's childhood and follows him into the NHL, and that's more-or-less the way Smith says he'll split it - Part I being about the character growing up, the Pro-Hockey stuff in the Part II. Again, this is a comedy about a guy who starts hockey fights for a living.

Sean William Scott was originally supposed to play to lead, but bailed in favor of another hockey comedy called "Goon."

WRITTEN REVIEW: Night Warning aka Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker

By ARIC MITCHELL

Any kid, who grew up in the 1980’s, could relate to the joy of his father bringing home a stack of VHS boxes with the most lurid and terrifying horror films inside them, right? Oh wait, maybe that was just me. Yes, I’ll admit, my old man had a different way of looking at

CONTINUE READING

Depp's "Lone Ranger" Would've Been a WEREWOLF MOVIE

Hardworking (seriously, click through - dude WORKS for his traffic) film blogger Jeffrey Wells of "Hollywood Elsewhere" has done the digging and come upon what the supernatural/fantasy angle was that made Disney's Bruckheimer-produced, Johnny-Depp-As-Tonto "Lone Ranger" project so expensive that the Mouse House pulled the plug yesterday: Whereas "Pirates of The Carribbean" (which this was being nakedly modeled after) featured Depp and company as pirates fighting ghosts and/or sea-monsters; "Ranger" would've featured it's Cowboy/Indian buddy-heroes battling Old West WEREWOLVES - thus adding a new explanation to the Ranger's signature Silver Bullets.

I'll give those who had previously felt like this project could not possibly sound any MORE like an "Onion" parody of everything tired, bad and wrong about the present-day blockbuster scene to compose themselves...

You should really go to Wells' site and read the whole thing, but it's pretty incredible sounding: Tonto would've been the main character, a sort of Qui-Gon Jin to the Ranger's Young Obi-Wan; showing him how to deal with native-mythology Lycans with shamanistic magic - hillariously, it was apparently a big deal to Depp that the Native American spirituality surrounding said werewolves be taken "very seriously."

2nd trailer for "Footloose"

I would like to sincerely appologize to the young people of today, on behalf of my generation. See, at a certain point in the mid-1980s, my generation gave waaaaaaaaay more money than was necessary to a really, really silly movie called "Footloose" in which Kevin Bacon played a kid from The Big City who moves to a rural community and liberates it's oppressed youth by leading a charge against John Lithgow's evil preacher and his insidious ban on... dancing. Yes, fine, it was obviously 'freedom to dance' as an obvious ham-fisted sexual-liberation metaphor; still kind of a dopey premise.

But, because we made it a hit back when, this new remake is being inflicted upon you now. And for that... I am sorry...



Anybody wanna buy a pitch for a reboot of "RAD?" Cause I could probably bang that out in a weekend for the right price...

Lone Ranger DIES, Austin Powers LIVES

GOOD NEWS! Disney's megabuget update of "The Lone Ranger," which had sounded like an impending disaster of "Green Lantern" proportions pretty-much from the beginning (it was to be a "reworking" of the franchise from "Pirates" director Gore Verbinski which focused primarily on Tonto, to be played by - of course - Johnny Depp, with the Ranger himself as the supporting-character) has fallen apart. Deadline reports that the problem was primarily one of budget - Disney is nervous about how much "John Carter" and Sam Raimi's "Wizard of Oz" prequel are costing right now - but you can almost-certainly thank the lackluster performance of "Cowboys & Aliens" for nudging this one into the abyss.

BAD NEWS! Lemme blow your mind right now: It has been A DECADE since "Austin Powers: Goldmember;" and thus a decade since Austin Powers has appeared in movie theaters. Well, that's about to change: HitFix's Drew McWeeny has the big scoop that Mike Meyers has signed on to ressurect the character for a fourth film. I wonder... do people remember that the original "Austin Powers" actually dissapointed in theaters and didn't become a massive smash until it hit video-rental?


I'll be honest - the prospect of returning to "Austin Powers" is morbidly fascinating to me, because of the bizzare way the character has been served by the popular culture. In the first film, part of the "joke" was that Austin's mid-60s libertinism was as "lame" in 1997 as the mod fashion and Bond-era spy trappings he came bundled with... but only two years later the 60s were "chic" again and the 2nd and 3rd films went from bagging on Powers and his era to outright celebrating them. It's almost a precursor to "Mad Men" (and now "Pan Am" and "Playboy Club") in that regard.

Meanwhile, it's now been so long for the series itself that the Clinton-era "end of history" ironic-optimism that was treated as a kind of utopian ideal for Austin himself to evolve up to in the first film looks today every bit as dated and naive as Austin's "original" era. There's an opportunity for meta-humor there; though I don't imagine that's where this is going.

SHORT FEATURE – HOLY HOLY HOLY

Okay, so I’m still a couple of weeks away from getting my life back and being able to get the blog up and running on a regular basis again. You know, the Catechism tells us that a person “shows himself to be a disciple of Christ by carrying the cross, daily, in the work he is called to accomplish. Work can be a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ.” So in a certain sense, work can help us become more holy. And if that’s the case, then let me tell you, I must be swimming in holiness.

Ah, if only it were that simple. But the problem is, I’ve been working like a dog for weeks and yet nobody has showed up on my doorstep to ask me to pose for my holy card. What’s the deal with that? I guess simply doing work must not be enough to achieve holiness. Well, Pope Paul VI noted that there has to be an added ingredient for the whole sanctifying thing to pan out. “In Nazareth, the home of a craftsman’s son, we learn about work and the discipline it entails.” the Pope said, “I would especially like to recognize its value – demanding yet redeeming – and to give it proper respect. I would remind everyone that work has its own dignity. On the other hand, it is not an end in itself. Its value and free character, however, derive not only from its place in the economic system, as they say, but rather from the purpose it serves.” And just what would that purpose be? Well, Colossians 2:23-24 lets us know that “Whatever your task, put yourselves into it, as done for the Lord and not for your masters, since you know that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you serve the Lord Christ.”

Now that makes a little more sense. As the nice folks at the Catholic Organization for Life and Family put it in their publication Work+Love=Holiness, “Nothing complicated is required to sanctify one’s work and, at the same, to sanctify oneself. Just a few ingredients are needed: to accomplish one’s work  as  perfectly  as  possible  with  professional competence,  with  a  love  for  the  will  of  God, and  to  serve  others. Even  a  repetitive  and  boring  task  can  thus  become  an  adventure  of  love if  it  is  united  with  Christ  and  offered  to  God.” And that’s good to know, because I’m neck deep in repetitive and boring right now and really missing blogging about the silly things I do around here. So it’s nice to think something sanctifying might come out of all of this. After all, you can never really get enough holiness…

Escape to the Movies: "Final Destination 5"

S'okay. "Intermission" is a summer recap.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Final Destination 5

Colbert backs P*A*rry in Iowa

Stephen Colbert's looooooong term "Colbert SuperPAC" stunt has been aimed at pointing out the absurdity of unrestricted campaign donations by becoming an official/legal conduit for such donations himself. Now we can see the first of what he's opted to do with it: A parody campaign commercial asking Iowans to vote Rick PArry (as opposed to "Rick PErry") into the Ames Straw Poll. Here it is...

"Coriolanus"

Do you like Shakespeare? Do you like "eclectic" adaptations of classical plays and books that place the words and story in a unique and unexpected visual context? Are you not quite yet bored to tears by said "unique and unexpected visual context" being another mashup of Ancient Rome, Facism and the present-day United States to make a really on-the-nose "point?" Well, have I got a trailer for you...

Since you've been asking...

Obviously, I have no official/specific comment to make about my business dealings with certain websites at this time. Those who know what that is in reference to, eh... probably know what that is in reference to, I guess. That's not meant as a dodge, or cryptic language, or a "clue," or a wink-wink, or anything of the sort - what everyone has heard on either end is all I am aware of and/or privy-to and at this time I have nothing to add.

That having been said, I want to echo what others have said and say that @ExtraCreditz are good guys and that I wish them all good luck wherever they land. I'd also like to ask that folks please keep in mind that, while obviously everyone is free to draw their own conclusions when business-issues go spilling out into the public record, businesses are made up of many levels and "hands," and not every action is attributable to to every hand at every level - and as such, one should not be too hasty in assigning "guilt by association" to parties under that sort of umbrella when they may not have had anything to do with wrongdoing (percieved or otherwise.)

Jennifer Garner is the Mother of Cabbage Patch Jesus

Below, the trailer for Disney's "The Odd Life of Timothy Green;" easily one of the most batshit-insane looking "family movies" I've seen teased in awhile. Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton are an infertile rural couple who work through their latest round of bad medical news by playing a game of make-believe - writing down the attributes of their wished-for perfect child and burying the pages in their garden. Overnight, a magical backwards-running rainstorm occurs and a full-grown toddler apparently "hatches" out of the burial site, the proceeds to grow up into an embodiment of their wishes who also strikes more Christ-poses than an interpretive-dance version of "Superman Returns."



This can't possibly be as strange or interesting as it seems, but for now... WTF?

Big Picture: "Super Single"

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Super Single

Twelve Opinions Likely To Be Unpopular

Funny thing is, I'm not even in a particularly bad mood...

To say that "all religion is bad" is an oversimplification bordering on intellectual bigotry and does not hold up to any measure of scrutiny. However, to say that "NO religion is bad" is equally over-simplified and holds up even less. I can think of FOUR religions, off the top of my head, that would make the world a better place by having their influence diminished to near-total obscurity - two of them are very large, two of them are sort of new, one of them is VERY new, and none of them are Judaism or Buddhism. Have fun guessing.

Barack Obama is NOT "playing chess while the Republicans play checkers." The Republicans are playing checkers, and Obama is wondering why they can't just all take equal numbers of red and black pieces, call it an "everybody wins" and go outside to guess what clouds look like.

Widespread legalization and acceptance of gay marriage will probably NOT cause an errosion in the societal stature of marriage itself, monogamy, the 'traditional' family unit, etc; ultimately leading to a kind of benign sexual/romantic anarchy (at least compared to the current model)... but if it DID, I wouldn't necessarily call that an innately bad thing.

The idea that "amoral" and "immoral" are treated as being the same thing causes an awful lot of unnecessary consternation and social-slowdown.

Making a certain "baseline" of medical care government-run and taxpayer funded would not only pay for itself but start paying DIVIDENDS if said "free" care was NOT made available to those who injured themselves through acts of willful stupidity - re: repeat hard-drug abuse, improperly-supervised "Xtreme!!!" sports/stunts, etc.

I do not object to one man being able to attain, without even running for or being elected to political office, the level of power and influence over world events that Rupert Murdoch has - I only object to that man BEING Rupert Murdoch. If I found out someone was bribing officials and subverting the will of "the people" to ends I agreed with, I'd probably be okay with it... unless it involved serious wrongdoing, like people getting killed or whatnot.

Science has not and probably will not "disprove" the existance of God. However, it's doing a very good job of making the prospect of an all-knowing, loving, benevolent God to seem very, very unlikely. Ironically, the much more ancient notion of god(s) as a super-powerful yet petty and scatterbrained uber-being treating the world like a bucket of not-especially-well-cared-for toys seems more plausible by the day.

The "Tea Party" wing of Congress (as opposed to individual citizens still for whatever reason comfortable with identifying with said movement) is speaking with 100% accuracy in it's opinion of itself as the representation of "average, everyday, ordinary folks" outlook on the world. As such, they are the clearest example ever presented of why "average, everyday, ordinary folks" are best kept as far away from exercising actual, direct power over the running of a society as humanly possible.

When I say "Hey science, it's the 21st Century - where's my jet-pack!?," I am NOT interested in hearing about how infeasible it is because air-traffic would be so difficult to manage. After all, please notice I was asking about MY jet-pack - not everybody else's jet-pack.

If Godzilla or something like Godzilla actually came into being and began an unstoppable destructive rampage the likes of which the world had never seen; so long as said rampage didn't kill anyone I know or destroy anything I hold in particular affection it would take at least a month for me to even think of acknowledging said events as anything other than "REAL GIANT MONSTER!? AWESOME!!!"

The worst thing that has happened to modern culture by far is that "elite" has become a derrogatory word.

I disagree with people who say "I have no problem with faith, it's organized religion that's the problem." Frankly, organized religion is fine by me - I "get" people needing/wanting some kind of structured sense of community and ritual to build get-togethers and holidays around; and that's cool by me. MY problem is when the actual faith/beliefs involved are take SO seriously by adherents that they actually want it to effect the way the world is organized and run.

I would be absolutely fine with NASA forging photographs proving to have found oil on Mars if it was successful in "tricking" the U.S. to turn the space-program back on and get some permanent installations built up there already.

Midnight in Paris

The 2011 Cannes opening movie is a pleasant surprise as looks and feels like the great movies by Woody Allen especially because Allen is in the film. Well, actually he is not in the screen at all! Let me explain. I don’t particularly care about Owen Wilson and I do dislike most of his performances but I believe that his best role up-to-date is in this movie and he’s playing Woody Allen! Oh yes, I could see (a younger) Woody all over Owen’s performance and maybe now I finally gasped what I miss in Allen’s movies, I miss him, the (younger) actor.

A beautiful love-letter to Paris with breath-taking day/night/rainy views of the gorgeous city (yes, I do LOVE Paris) film tells the impossible dream of many “intellectuals” that wish to alternate, converse and rub elbows with la crème de la crème of the many artists that lived in 20’s Paris, but Gil (Owens) is a “normal” American tourist struggling with writing a novel after being a very successful Hollywood screenplay writer and indeed he could be the opposite to a intellectual prototype. There is a lot of irony in story and dialogues, which absolutely makes it very appealing to me and yes is an enjoyable glimpse into the Parisian lives of the likes of Hemingway, Buñuel, Picasso, Matisse, Dalí, Gertrude Stein, Cole Porter, Fitzgerald, and many others. The only predictable moment for me was going to Maxim where I knew Toulouse-Lautrec was going to appear, but I forgive you Mr. Allen, as most of it was really unexpected.

Best performance in movie belongs to Marion Cotillard that truly steals all scenes she’s in; but I also enjoyed the brief appearance by Léa Seydoux and to be honest, did not recognized Carla Bruni (lol!) and wonder –like someone else also wonders- if her sister Valeria Bruni-Tedeschi played the character instead of her surely character would have been more noticeable and interesting.

It’s a fun to watch film, well, a Woody Allen type of fun to watch film and definitively enjoyed my entertaining moment and I do recommend film to those that like Allen’s oldies and somehow wish to see (the younger version of) him in the screen.

Enjoy!!!

Watch trailer @MOC

"Abduction" trailer

Taylor Lautner has the mother of all damned-if-you-do paradoxes hanging over his career: Already widely-known at a comparatively young age and gifted with a presence (that may be too generous of a term) well-suited for action roles... BUT! His said early/instant fame comes from having appeared in the "Twilight" movies - which is exactly the sort of pedigree that the audience a would-be action-star needs to cultivate would hold against him.

Below, the kind of hilarious trailer for his first stab at a solo action career, "Abduction," which for some reason isn't getting the sort of point-at-it-and-laugh hype you'd expect so far (and doesn't seem to have caught the attention of "Twilight" fans, either)...



It's "The Face On The Milk Carton" meets "The Bourne Identity." Having heavyweights like Signourney Weaver and Alfred Molina LITERALLY cast as the folks leading him through the movie by the hand is a little on the nose, if you ask me...

I wonder how many people, when this plays in theaters, assume that it's actually a "Jacob" spin-off before the spy stuff kicks in?

On Charity

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain.

This is your new Catwoman

Hey... why WAS Warner Bros. in such a hurry to get a picture of Superman looking more-or-less like himself (big shield, big cape, shadows keeping the "briefs or no briefs" discussion for another day) out into the fanboy-blogosphere when the movie isn't due out until 2013? Well, maybe because they didn't want the ONLY conversation about their increasingly-trouble DC Universe movies this weekend to be "Where are her ears???"

Well, now we know who bought up all the nondistinct black scuba-gear now that the X-Men aren't using it anymore...

Yeah, yeah, first picture, no context, trust Nolan, blah blah blah...

The costume (or lack thereof) designs in pretty-much all of the Nolan Batman movies read like some kind of personal filmmaking challenge: Now they have to make the script/acting/direction SO GOOD that people won't care how boring everybody looks. For my part, I'm not exactly sure why anyone is surprised - what did you expect the result to be when a character built entirely around sexuality and an visually-absurd costume-gimmick is reimagined by a filmmaker thus far singularly-disinterested in sexuality and visually absurd costume-gimmicks? Not bad, not terribly exciting, get ready to not be surprised when she's never actually reffered to as "Catwoman." I'm sure the movie will still be fine.

Look, everybody knows I loved "Begins" and "TDK," and I expect to like this one much the same. But yeah, with this being the last one, I hope "Rises" is also the death knell of this particular era/aesthetic in superhero movies. As far as I'm concerned 'realism to a fault' has been dead since Robert Downey Jr. told his computer to paint his outfit red for no particular reason, and at this point watching Batman and company still going through these motions is kinda like seeing someone still walking around in acid-washed jeans and a popped-collar.

Escape to the Movies: "Rise of The Planet of The Apes"

It's monkey-tastic! For more monkey movies, check out "Intermission."

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Pretty-much the ENTIRE world may have been completely wrong about Seth MacFarlane

Ironically enough, the ONLY place (other than reality, as it turns out...) you could expect to hear a confluence of "somethings" this random would be a "remember that time..." cutaway on "Family Guy." Seth MacFarlane is so insanely powerful at the Fox network that he has the "pull" to get pretty-much anything he wants greenlit, made and run in a cushy slot. He's already flexed that muscle to set up one coming-soon project, a modern (stone age) revamp of "The Flintstones;" and now we know that the next one is yet another classic-TV callback: A new incarnation of "Carl Sagan's 'Cosmos.'"

...Really. And no, it's not a "spoof" or a "takeoff." It's a 'continuation' of "Cosmos" - in which Sagan explained 'big idea' science about the universe - to be hosted by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. The creator of "Family Guy" is using his clout to get Fox to run an educational science documentary on PRIME TIME TELEVISION. WTF!?Granted, the "line" of MacFarlane has always been that he's a much more intelligent, thoughtful (to say nothing of nice) guy than a lot of his material might suggest... but you've got to admit this is waaaay the fuck out of left field. Fox (of all networks) opting to run a show where an astrophysicist explains how scientific phenomena works as a prime-time series is unbelievable in and of itself; but coming from MacFarlane? Never would've called that.


Just to give you an idea of how unlike anything you'd ever expect to run on a network today this is, here's how the original looked/sounded:



Now, granted - I wouldn't be surprised if the final version of this new one DOES end up having some kind of more humorous or "energetic" angle to it, a science-based cousin to The Daily Show, something like that. But still... holy shit. A billion Freshmen frat-pledges bulk-buying (and watching to the point of memorization) the first three seasons of a canceled "Simpsons" stepchild almost a decade ago results in the return of "Cosmos" to TV.

What's next? Is Michael Bay going to donate a trillion dollars and personally re-start the American Space Program? Larry The Cable Guy gonna personally install an American interstate bullet-train system?

Dimension to take a Number Two on Number Five

"Short Circuit" is one of those not-bad little movies that kids in the 80s tended to grow up with on heavy VHS rotation; which helpfully explains why news that it's landed on the reboot list has half the web reporting this as dire news (director is Tim Hill, late of the live-action "Chipmunks" movies) and the other half reporting it in the context of being snarky about people having an opinion about kitschy 80s reboots.
The original film was about a prototype military combat-robot (one of a set) that attained sentience after being struck by lightning and went on the run to avoid being disassembled ("killed") for research. Supposedly it was concieved as a killer-robot-rampage movie, but eventually became a comedy ("Johnny Five" communicates almost-exclusively in childish jokes and pop-culture references.) It's somewhat noteworthy in being a "wacky nonhuman buddy" movie that was otherwise cast exclusively with adults as opposed to precocious kids... and somewhat notorious for Fisher Stevens' (now an Oscar Winner as producer of "The Cove!") eh, "broad" portrayal of an Indian computer wiz.



At one point the "reboot" script was a psuedo-sequel with a little kid meeting the original(?) Johnny Five, not sure if that's still the case. Part of me would like to see this be a "pretend-this-is-something-people-have-been-waiting-for" deal, possibly with NOVA running the drone/armed-robot stuff in Afghanistan. Johnny Five versus his "modern" counterparts? I'd pay to see that, sure.